What rules do you give your teenagers

[Teeceefamily]

We are sailing with our 14 year old daughter in Aug, I want her to enjoy her holiday but also I will set some rules.

I'm interested in what rules people set for their teenagers, also any teenagers now adults that spent the teenage years cruising what was your experience.

Also what is the best way to keep in contact with them.

[seashinesunshine]

Last we cruised with our kids they were 13 and 15. We didn't place any restrictions on them because they didn't spend any time really away from us. We had a port intensive cruise, so we were in port every day but one. They were so tired every night that they begged to go to bed after late dining. They always had to stay together and had no interest in meeting other kids, so we didn't really need to worry about them going into rooms etc. Had they been more social, they would have not been allowed to go in anyones room. For any reason. The one day we were at sea, the rule was, they had to let us know where they were all the time.

Some suggestions for keeping in touch are bringing post it notes to leave messages, some people bring a magnetic white board for the door, but if she is in your room you wouldn't need to use that.

If she does meet other kids, find out what their cabin number is so if you need to track her down you can at least find some of her friends.

I believe that sometimes, at least on Carnival, the teen group will get together and pick a port to do n excursion on. She may really enjoy that.

Have Fun!

[cb at sea]

I wouldn't allow them to "roam"...they should be able to go to specific places for specific reasons, but then, they should physically check in with you before going to the next thing. Having tentative plans for the day really helps everyone know where to find everyone else.. so tell your teen where you'll be at approx. what time, and have them come to YOU to tell you where they're going next!

 

Of course, NO ONE should come in your cabin, and your teen shouldn't go in anyone elses cabin...this should be non-negotiable.

 

This will be a "family" vacation, so do stuff together as a family! You don't have to be joined at the hip, but some together time is good!

[Merion_Mom]

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1813061

 

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1679981

[NorbertsNiece]

My father took my sister and I on a cruise when I was 18/19...... so the early 70s..... ish..... mum had passed away a year previously and I had already spent a year in college.

 

We were docked in Gibraltar and I was with a group of people on a ship organised evening visit.... first drink free visit to a club..... back on board we headed to a bar to continue.... dad was concerned that I hadn't returned to the room so he headed (now he subsequently said the bridge) to wherever and demanded that the ship not sailaway..... they assured him that all who had gone ashore had returned. He found me in the bar and hauled me out to my utter embarassment.... he was in his pyjamas with a pair of trousers thrown on over.... and slippers.

 

The following day he insisted I go on the pre-booked excursion.... Tenerife I think.... and I recall being extremely hungover and spent the day lying on the back seat of the bus.... vague recollection of a volcano....

 

I have pics somewhere from the ship's photographer.... more sober moments.... fancy dress...

[JBSteelerfan]

I wouldn't allow them to "roam"...they should be able to go to specific places for specific reasons, but then, they should physically check in with you before going to the next thing. Having tentative plans for the day really helps everyone know where to find everyone else.. so tell your teen where you'll be at approx. what time, and have them come to YOU to tell you where they're going next!

 

Of course, NO ONE should come in your cabin, and your teen shouldn't go in anyone elses cabin...this should be non-negotiable.

 

This will be a "family" vacation, so do stuff together as a family! You don't have to be joined at the hip, but some together time is good!

 

Those are some great guidelines, exactly what we did with our boys when we cruised with them at ages 16 and 13. They had to check in with us at designated times, and we had dinner each night as a family. Interesting how many times we would run into them on the sports court, or by the flowrider, or even in the Windjammer. All in all, we all had a great time!

[cruisinfanatic]

I tell mine to behave while we're gone

[Clarea]

Don't throw deck chairs into the ocean.

[Jackamama]

I wouldn't allow them to "roam"...they should be able to go to specific places for specific reasons, but then, they should physically check in with you before going to the next thing. Having tentative plans for the day really helps everyone know where to find everyone else.. so tell your teen where you'll be at approx. what time, and have them come to YOU to tell you where they're going next!

 

Of course, NO ONE should come in your cabin, and your teen shouldn't go in anyone elses cabin...this should be non-negotiable.

 

This will be a "family" vacation, so do stuff together as a family! You don't have to be joined at the hip, but some together time is good!

 

 

 

This sounds sensible to me. We have just returned from The Independence, where there was a large number of teenagers and some parents just seemed to forget about their kids completely. It was like an ideal holiday to let other people watch out for them. Groups of young people roaming corridors late at night and leaving dirty plates in lifts and corners all over the place, and their parents hadn't seen them all day.

[CP3o]

Don't get caught.

[crvng4mr]

My son is 12 and his rules are the same as at home. He can't go into anyone's cabin and no one is allowed in ours. He is to let me now where he is either by personally telling me, leaving a note in the room or calling the room every time he goes somewhere. His curfew was the same as the ship 1 am and he had to meet us at dinner every night on time and dressed appropriately.

 

There were 4 areas I could always find him and he is well behaved. This also made the time in ports with us very enjoyable. We also had a very long port intensive cruise and vacation. 22 days.

[MrsPete]

We've laid out the rules very plainly for our kids, and we've never had any disagreements. Being clear ahead of time, letting our expectations be known has worked well for us. Our rules have been something like this:

 

Safety first:

 

- You may not enter cabin other than ours, nor may strangers come into our cabin.

- Do not enter any area not meant for passengers. (Note: we always cruise in an aft cabin, so we are located right next to the staff staircases, so this might have been a temptation.)

- If your drink has been out of your sight for even a moment, get a fresh one.

- We board and leave the ship as a family.

- If you happen to lose your ship ID, tell us immediately.

- After X:00 (I'm not suggesting what curfew you should assign your children, but I do think the ship's 1 AM curfew is too late), you must either be with us, in the cabin, or in an organized teen function. If the event is late, one of us will wait for you outside the event and walk you back to the cabin. You may not walk on deck after dark without one of us, even in a group. It only takes a minute for something bad to happen, and it only takes one bad apple to convince other kids to do something bad.

- Never, ever, ever, throw anything off the ship. Families are put off the ship for this.

 

Politeness second:

 

- Use good manners in the buffet. Take only what you can eat, wait your turn.

- Elevators are not for play. Let people exit before you crowd on. Let elderly people and those with small children enter ahead of you.

- if you want to eat breakfast or lunch with new friends, it's fine, but leave us a note so we won't wait for you. Our expectation is that we will eat dinner together every night, but we will say yes to you having dinner with the teen group if there's a special event -- again, we just want to know ahead of time so we won't sit around waiting.

- Thank the staff for taking care of you.

- The adults only pool is for adults. You may come in briefly, if you need to find me, but you may not break the ship's rules.

 

And money matters:

 

- You may not charge things on your sea pass without asking first. We are not spending on video games or Internet.

Edited July 13, 2014 by MrsPete

[Trainman-2]

We gave our teenage son a $15 / day limit on his Sea Pass spending. If he wanted something more expensive, he had to come to us for approval.

 

He was allowed to hang out with his age group in the Teen club.

 

He was expected to dine with the family every night in the MDR, properly dressed and on time.

 

He could not leave the ship unless he was with us.

 

 

We trusted him and he never let us down!

[DragonOfTheSeas]

We've laid out the rules very plainly for our kids, and we've never had any disagreements. Being clear ahead of time, letting our expectations be known has worked well for us. Our rules have been something like this:

 

Safety first:

etc. . . .

 

Politeness second:

 

etc. . .

 

And money matters:

 

- You may not charge things on your sea pass without asking first. We are not spending on video games or Internet.

 

 

I deleted the text of your rules--but, they were excellent. [did not want to take the space to repeat them] I copied and pasted into a document for myself if we take our Grand kids on a cruise.

 

Very common sense, thank you! :)

[jackson bernard]

Maybe you should tell them where to meet you at the first sign something is wrong with the ship.

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Forums mobile app

[edjny]

- Elevators are not for play. Let people exit before you crowd on. Let elderly people and those with small children enter ahead of you.

 

On a recent cruise there was a group of 'brain-damaged' teenagers who thought that sitting in the elevator and riding bottom floor to top floor was just too much fun to resist. :confused: That worked OK until the end of the show in the theatre. Everyone knows how crowded the elevators get at that time. About 6-8 of us got on the elevator. Before we all piled in, we told the kids to get up or risk getting stepped on. Most of them got up. A couple were just too stupid and continued sitting on the floor with the legs stretched out. They got STEPPED ON.... None of us had any sympathy for the idiots on the floor. I imagine they had some pretty good bruises on their legs when they finally got up.

[reallyitsmema]

On a recent cruise there was a group of 'brain-damaged' teenagers who thought that sitting in the elevator and riding bottom floor to top floor was just too much fun to resist. :confused: That worked OK until the end of the show in the theatre. Everyone knows how crowded the elevators get at that time. About 6-8 of us got on the elevator. Before we all piled in, we told the kids to get up or risk getting stepped on. Most of them got up. A couple were just too stupid and continued sitting on the floor with the legs stretched out. They got STEPPED ON.... None of us had any sympathy for the idiots on the floor. I imagine they had some pretty good bruises on their legs when they finally got up.

 

How awful, to deliberately step on someone is absolutely disgusting!

[JSR]

We have traveled with our DD through her teen years, now taking a cruise with her as a young adult. We always took a friend or went with another family. If you DD is going to be coming out of the teen area late at night meet her a good distance away so she is not embarrassed, but don't let her walk to the cabin on her own.

We used warlike talkies, always had dinner together, never leave the ship without us, never go into anyone's cabin other then the people traveling with us, never go into staff quarters or area without us. Watch your drink, and don't take any from drinks from anyone else. Buddy system always, even if it is to run to the room for a minute. If your DD is traveling without a peer, hopefully she will hook up with another girl or two her age and they can employ the buddy system. Have fun, be responsible, make good choices, and keep the volume down on the tv in your cabin.

Our DD is 18 now and we are cruising in a few weeks, we are traveling with another family and their DD 20. This will be the first time the young ladies will do excursions on their own. We are using ship excursions for the first time in order to provide peace of mind for the parents (mainly me). My DH reminded me that I backpacked for 3 months throughout Europe with a friend at age 19, before cell phones, and my communication with my parents was via snail mail.

We cruised with our DD from age 3 to about 15, then she became too busy and cruising just did not fit into our schedule, those vacations were great because we had time together and time apart. This cruise next month will be a new chapter.

 

Good Luck and enjoy!

[Artemis]

NorbertsNiece, what a hilarious tale! Thanks for sharing.

 

OP, just the fact you asked means you are a great parent and have already instilled in your daughter much of the excellent common sense safety and courtesy guides discussed here. Having cruised a lot with teens, may I also add these points:

 

1-There are courtesy phones on walls everywhere, and often near elevator lobbies. Be sure to demonstrate how she can spot one, how to call your cabin and how to call for help should there be an emergency. (Yes, one of mine used the old "How could I call you to explain why I was late?" excuse. Once!)

 

2-She should be aware there are security cameras everywhere taping everything! Similarly, there are security officers strolling the ship at all hours (and sometimes, if the teen count is high, there are dedicated teen security offers).

 

3-If you're headed to a sunny destination and she is the type who's not attentive to sunscreen + water unless mom reminds her, this is a great time for her to learn she must step up her game, as the sunburn/sunsick potential is so much greater than home. Ditto dehyrdation! I had one who missed a long-anticipated shore excursion because he got sick. He did learn his lesson!

 

4-Let her know that when a big ship dumps thousands of pax and crew into a little port terminal, it can be overwhelmingly crowded, and there are so many distractions, with shops, shore excursion lineups, locals trying to sell tours, etc., that it's easy to get separated and panic for a few minutes! Then, she won't think you're being over-protective when you ask her to stay close and alert. Also, she should know how to say, "No thanks" and keep walking!

 

5-Remind her not to jump up from a pool or beach chair and leave her phone, purse, etc. laying in plain view!

 

6-More phone: Tell her to go online and research how to disable all voice and data...everything...on her phone. I returned to a super ugly bill once in spite of that kid's repeated assurances he knew what he was doing! If you go to St. Thomas or San Juan, confirm your cell coverage extends with no charge for voice, text, Internet. If she (or you!) will have a hard time being unplugged, cheap Internet cafes are easy to find in every port, and you can also consider granting her x minutes if you buy a ship plan.

 

Have a fabulous time! Teens are really such a blast!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Cruise Critic Forums mobile app

Edited July 14, 2014 by Artemis

[How'sBartCruisin'?]

We've laid out the rules very plainly for our kids, and we've never had any disagreements. Being clear ahead of time, letting our expectations be known has worked well for us. Our rules have been something like this:

 

Safety first:

 

- You may not enter cabin other than ours, nor may strangers come into our cabin.

- Do not enter any area not meant for passengers. (Note: we always cruise in an aft cabin, so we are located right next to the staff staircases, so this might have been a temptation.)

- If your drink has been out of your sight for even a moment, get a fresh one.

- We board and leave the ship as a family.

- If you happen to lose your ship ID, tell us immediately.

- After X:00 (I'm not suggesting what curfew you should assign your children, but I do think the ship's 1 AM curfew is too late), you must either be with us, in the cabin, or in an organized teen function. If the event is late, one of us will wait for you outside the event and walk you back to the cabin. You may not walk on deck after dark without one of us, even in a group. It only takes a minute for something bad to happen, and it only takes one bad apple to convince other kids to do something bad.

- Never, ever, ever, throw anything off the ship. Families are put off the ship for this.

 

Politeness second:

 

- Use good manners in the buffet. Take only what you can eat, wait your turn.

- Elevators are not for play. Let people exit before you crowd on. Let elderly people and those with small children enter ahead of you.

- if you want to eat breakfast or lunch with new friends, it's fine, but leave us a note so we won't wait for you. Our expectation is that we will eat dinner together every night, but we will say yes to you having dinner with the teen group if there's a special event -- again, we just want to know ahead of time so we won't sit around waiting.

- Thank the staff for taking care of you.

- The adults only pool is for adults. You may come in briefly, if you need to find me, but you may not break the ship's rules.

 

And money matters:

 

- You may not charge things on your sea pass without asking first. We are not spending on video games or Internet.

 

Love it. Those should be posted in every cabin on every ship.:)

[Spurschick]

Some of the previous posters have excellent suggestions.

 

If I may add a few thoughts, for all people traveling with kids in general.

 

You don't mention which ship you are sailing on. If you are on a larger ship memorize the number for fuel (or whichever other club they may be at) if you need to get hold of them in case there is a change of plans you don't need to walk all around the ship, and teens are probably not liking mom/dad visiting their hangout space. Also the older kids sometimes go out to sports deck etc so make sure you have a schedule in case they are on an organized event somewhere else on the ship.

 

My DD is 12 and has sailed RC since 7 months. Her last cruise was her first time to try out the older club. She said they voted on what they wanted to do, and if there were not enough participants or people wanting to do a certain activity plans changed short notice.

 

Also let your kid know a rough idea of where you will be. If there is a problem and they need to find you they don't have to search the whole ship, and remind them if they can't find you and really need you to go to GS and ask them to page.

 

A big heads up is to keep your eye open for when the free arcade hour is in the arcade. It saves money!!!!

 

Make sure your child has a watch, and if possible one with an alarm on it. Make sure your child's watch is synchronized to your time so there is no discrepancy in time. If setting a curfew set their alarm for 10 mins before curfew time so they have time to get to meeting point. When teens get talking they have a tendency to lose track of time:rolleyes:

 

For parents of younger kids, especially those that are unfamiliar with the ship, when we felt like DD was old enough to to start getting from point A to point B by herself we started with making sure she could find the cabin without getting lost.

 

We walked her through it, then had her lead us to the cabin. We then did dry runs to Adventure Ocean so she could sign herself in / out during day hours (if she was staying late we collected her)we also did dry runs to ensure she knew where the grandparents cabin was in case of emergency.

 

I know that sounds like common sense, but it is unbelievable the number of times I have seen crying kids that can't find mom/dad and are lost!!!!!

 

Make sure they are aware NOT to enter the pool without you or a responsible adult watching, especially if they are younger.

 

Remind teens not to hang out in the hot tubs for long extended periods of time.

 

Double check all receipts, especially if they have a drinks package, make sure they are not getting charged for items included. the royal Replenish package is GREAT for teens. And if something happens to their drink (if it gets out of sight due to going to Restroom etc,) they can get a new one at no extra cost.

 

If we go to a show, she knows the area we sit in. If we go to the casino she knows to go to cashiers desk to ask them to find us while she then waits at the entrance. If there is a change of plan first thing is call the cabin and leave a message with the time and what the change of plan is then find us. That way if we go and find her and she is not there we are able to locate easier and quicker.

 

My philosophy is better safe than sorry.

 

I know that may sound like a lot of rules, but they are relatively straight forward. And obviously as your child (whatever age) gets used to sailing, the easier the rules become second nature.

 

Hope this insight helps:D

Edited July 14, 2014 by Spurschick

[Adayatatime]

My daughter is the same age as yours. I would say have a look at all of these ideas, and then choose the ones you are comfortable with, as you would at home.

 

We has a 'check in' agreement - post its, and back to cabin at say 6 for crossover of showers, catch up and off again. My daughter met a lovely group of girl friends her age the first night at the club (a must for you daughter if she wants to meet up with kids her age) and I was happy that they could eat etc together - that's what they all wanted to do.

 

I also said I would make sure I was in the cabin at a particular time, say 2 in the afternoon, and she should ring from a phone to update me. I also stated dont touch a drink if you've left it. She had the kids unlimited soft drinks and a little pocket money on her sea pass but hardly spent anything.

 

From a behaviour rather than safety perspective, I also said no hanging around lifts, in corridors, running.

 

I asked some same questions on here a while ago, and came to the conclusions we all have different perspectives on how we manage, but for me I did trust her to do her own thing most of the time, warning that we could be thrown off the ship etc, and the whole group were fine.

 

Oh and I too think the curfew is a bit late, I'm asleep by then!!

Edited July 14, 2014 by Adayatatime

[Adayatatime]

Some of the previous posters have excellent suggestions.

 

If I may add a few thoughts, for all people traveling with kids in general.

 

You don't mention which ship you are sailing on. If you are on a larger ship memorize the number for fuel (or whichever other club they may be at) if you need to get hold of them in case there is a change of plans you don't need to walk all around the ship, and teens are probably not liking mom/dad visiting their hangout space. Also the older kids sometimes go out to sports deck etc so make sure you have a schedule in case they are on an organized event somewhere else on the ship.

 

My DD is 12 and has sailed RC since 7 months. Her last cruise was her first time to try out the older club. She said they voted on what they wanted to do, and if there were not enough participants or people wanting to do a certain activity plans changed short notice.

 

Also let your kid know a rough idea of where you will be. If there is a problem and they need to find you they don't have to search the whole ship, and remind them if they can't find you and really need you to go to GS and ask them to page.

 

A big heads up is to keep your eye open for when the free arcade hour is in the arcade. It saves money!!!!

 

Make sure your child has a watch, and if possible one with an alarm on it. Make sure your child's watch is synchronized to your time so there is no discrepancy in time. If setting a curfew set their alarm for 10 mins before curfew time so they have time to get to meeting point. When teens get talking they have a tendency to lose track of time:rolleyes:

 

For parents of younger kids, especially those that are unfamiliar with the ship, when we felt like DD was old enough to to start getting from point A to point B by herself we started with making sure she could find the cabin without getting lost.

 

We walked her through it, then had her lead us to the cabin. We then did dry runs to Adventure Ocean so she could sign herself in / out during day hours (if she was staying late we collected her)we also did dry runs to ensure she knew where the grandparents cabin was in case of emergency.

 

I know that sounds like common sense, but it is unbelievable the number of times I have seen crying kids that can't find mom/dad and are lost!!!!!

 

Make sure they are aware NOT to enter the pool without you or a responsible adult watching, especially if they are younger.

 

Remind teens not to hang out in the hot tubs for long extended periods of time.

 

Double check all receipts, especially if they have a drinks package, make sure they are not getting charged for items included. the royal Replenish package is GREAT for teens. And if something happens to their drink (if it gets out of sight due to going to Restroom etc,) they can get a new one at no extra cost.

 

If we go to a show, she knows the area we sit in. If we go to the casino she knows to go to cashiers desk to ask them to find us while she then waits at the entrance. If there is a change of plan first thing is call the cabin and leave a message with the time and what the change of plan is then find us. That way if we go and find her and she is not there we are able to locate easier and quicker.

 

My philosophy is better safe than sorry.

 

I know that may sound like a lot of rules, but they are relatively straight forward. And obviously as your child (whatever age) gets used to sailing, the easier the rules become second nature.

 

Hope this insight helps:D

 

I don't think there are a lot of rules, they are sensible ones to allow her freedom in a safe way.

[Adayatatime]

Don't throw deck chairs into the ocean.

 

I think this is sound advice. There's enough of a problem with chair hogging as it is :D

[pfm18]

Adding a new perspective to the thread. I'm 20 and started cruising at 16, I cruised twice under 18 and twice over 18, all with my parents

 

 

Here were our rules:

 

-We're good at compromising with each other

 

-We always eat meals together. Breakfast first thing in the morning, lunch when we get back from port, MTD dinner at around 7:30pm

 

-Always leave and return to the ship as a group (I have a 14 year old sister, 9 when we started cruising, so her rules were slightly stricter)

 

-Don't bring anyone into our cabin (Although they didn't have a problem with me going into other cabins, and I'm actually a bit confused as to why people don't want their kids going into others rooms)

 

-Parents are rather predictable. They'll wake up at 8, breakfast-port-lunch with us, and then sit at the pool deck until around 6pm when we go back to get ready for dinner. In the time when they're at the pool they don't mind us exploring the ship as long as we're careful and let them know roughly where we might be.

 

-After dinner we are free to go off with ship friends, but my sister is usually expected back by midnight (11pm on her first cruise)

 

-I'm not bound to any curfews, so long as I'm quiet when coming back into the room (as my family are usually sleeping by midnight) and I'm in a fit state to get up for breakfast around 8am. My "curfew" was he 1am ship curfew when I was under 18, and they were quite strict about me observing this at that age, as opposed to other teens who would find discreet places to hide from security.

 

-Now that I over 18 I can stay out as long as I want as long as I'm quiet when I get in and I'm up at 8ish. This led to some bleary eyed excursions on my last cruise.

 

-They don't mind me drinking. If I put a few beers on the swapsies then that's okay, but if I want to get smashed then I need to give them money.

 

 

 

That's all I can think of for now