I need help! I'm freaking out!!

[Viv0828]

Is there a good counselor or psychologist in your area that deals with irrational fears? I know 3 weeks is a very short time, but several sessions might work wonders.

[Crusin Hogs]

The Inn at The Waterpark in Galveston is not on the water , Nice place and reasonable we stay there

[ferfoodle]

I don't know if this helps or not but its the truth. I love to cruise but I am terrified of the ocean & everything in it. Other than putting my feet in at Half Moon Cay I don't get in the water. I enjoy looking at it from the beach or on deck for a short period but that's it. And yes I have tried to go swimming in the ocean and I always end up with a panic attack. It is just not my thing. Hate salt water & anything bigger than me swimming near by.

 

My in-laws think I am nuts for going on so many cruises but I love to travel and this is the best way to see multiple islands in my budget. The ship is literally a floating city. There is so much on board to do and see that unless you focus on looking over the railing you might forget you are on board.

 

Good Luck!

 

Very similar to my MIL (also 71). Her whole life afraid to get in the water, but okay looking at it. I took her on her first cruise this past spring. She was leary...but LOVED IT. She wants to go again.

 

OP, see what level your mom is afraid. If afraid to even look at it, I see a problem. But if afraid of being in it, try to reassure her that she doesn't have to get in it at all.

[naz022292]

I agree with the other posters that suggested talking to her to get to the bottom of what her actual fear is. I am terrified of water over my head. I'll go in the ocean with my husband, make him stand right near me, and NEVER allow myself to float any deeper than I can stand. Once in a blue moon I get pulled a little or find a little dip on the floor of the ocean and PANIC immediately. This doesn't stop me from being in the ocean and I love being on a cruise. I won't book any excursions that require me to put my head under water. No matter how shallow. I guess we all have our quirks!

 

Now, my dad is something else entirely. He loves the ocean and had always been a very strong swimmer. He's 80 now. Within the last year or so he began having trouble in the ocean. His balance isn't what it used to be. Last year at the ocean he actually had to be rescued by a life guard after he fell and couldn't get back up. It was very scary - they were in the process of rescuing him when we saw what was happening. After that he was obviously apprehensive of going in the water. He's coming with us on our cruises in January and October.

 

It could be that your mom isn't feeling as steady in the waves as she used to be and if that's the case, the cruise probably won't bother her if you chose the excursions carefully.

[mom2tcdx2]

My mother is 61 and she is afraid of the water, as she doesn't want to be in it. She won't go in the ocean at the beach stops, she won't go in the pools. But she loves cruising. If she hadn't been afraid before, I would wonder why she is now - I would almost think something else might be the issue.

[thinfool]

1. Care for your own emotional well-being so that you don't suffer a breakdown before you sail.

 

2. Give your mom a chance. Being nervous before a first cruise is quite normal. We all have misgivings before we try something new.

 

3. You will know how much your parents enjoyed (or not) the cruise when the subject of 'going again' comes up.

 

 

A friend of ours was terrified of a cruise but went because she knew most of our group and her hubby really wanted to go. She was a basket case as she was wheeled (wheelchair) onto the ship. We then lost track of her until the next day....when....we found her eagerly planning their next cruise!! :D:rolleyes:

[trishnmike]

This may have been talked about already. But I wonder if she is afraid of something going wrong medically? I mean on land she can get to a hospital. She may not realize that there are doctors on board plus the coast guard can be called if needed. I know my dad will never go. But mom has cruised without him.

[bingo3]

Has your mother asked you to cancel? You may need to have a conversation with her, as another poster said, not being judgemental, stay calm, etc. Try to get to the real underlying issue. If they have traveled around water in the past, I find it hard to believe this fear has just presented itself, unless there are other underlying issues such as dementia. It could be a fear of being on the ship and no control, not the water itself.

 

My husband will cruise and we have been on several, but he doesn't really like being on the ship and that loss of being able to just get off when he wants. Maybe that is what has her concerned.

 

If they go, they may find they like it. My parents are 78 and love to cruise. They too have had RV's for years and are currently on a 2 week trip to Disneyworld.

 

Good luck and I hope it works out for you. Many years ago our inlaws were supposed to cruise with us all and he had a bypass several months before. They cancelled, but truthfully, I don't think they really wanted to go in the first place and that gave them a reason. We did not pursue it after that.

[Minkster1973]

I think something to settle mom's nerves is appropriate. I feel much better about this situation knowing you'll be with her.

 

I think if you talk to her about all the details of a cruise, it will ease her mind. Walk her through everything, and before you know it, she will be fine.

 

I have a feeling once you're out on the open sea, she may find solace in the sounds of the ocean.

[joeyancho]

Xanax

[joeyancho]

Drugs are never then answer!!!

 

Nonsense. Tell that to some one with diabetes or AIDS or a thousand other diseases.

Edited January 3, 2016 by joeyancho

[rgmacm]

Has your mother asked you to cancel? You may need to have a conversation with her, as another poster said, not being judgemental, stay calm, etc. Try to get to the real underlying issue. If they have traveled around water in the past, I find it hard to believe this fear has just presented itself, unless there are other underlying issues such as dementia. It could be a fear of being on the ship and no control, not the water itself.

 

.

 

You bring up an interesting point....and given me something to think about.

No, she hasn't asked me to cancel at all....the guilt is coming completely from me...NOT from her. As of now, she is planning to go.... :)

Edited January 3, 2016 by rgmacm

[Cruisin Broad]

The description of the OP's mother could be me (almost), right down to the RV. Still in our 50s, my husband and I have been RVing in a 41' motor home for 3 years. I have always been afraid of the water, but I love to cruise. My husband loves the water, but does not like to cruise. I'm not a swimmer and I don't like to go in water in which I can't stand with my feet firmly planted, but being on a cruise ship doesn't make me afraid. As others have suggested, maybe there's something else, other than being afraid of the water, that's causing your mother's reaction. As others have suggested, try talking with her to see if you can determine if there's another cause. Remind her that you'll be close by should she get anxious while on the cruise. Maybe she has concerns, since it's her first cruise, that she'll feel uncomfortable, which will make the cruise less enjoyable for the others who are going. Good luck in convincing her to go.

[rgmacm]

Thank you all for your helpful and kind replies.

After being told earlier that my post was inappropriate, I left CC for a while... I'm glad I came back. :) :)

 

...and no, we're not doing any excursions in the water....actually chose to go the "history" route with those as that is her LOVE!!!!

 

I'll talk to her....and we'll do whatever we need to do...

maybe I'll call Carnival or the insurance company, though I'm almost certain those are LONG LONG LONG shots....

If we need to cancel, then we will...and if that means losing the money, then we'll just chalk it up to a lesson learned. :(

 

However, thank you for some very good tips/advice. I read them carefully...and will use them. :)

Edited January 4, 2016 by rgmacm

[wickedhangover]

when you get onboard, even though it is not open, take her right to the casino, windows are covered, problem solved...based on similar situation experience :)

[cruisintex85]

Try the Tremont House. They have a shuttle to the terminal and you can leave your car with the valet for the length of the cruise. There are some good restaurants in the area too. I worked in Galveston for a while and the Tremont is in a great non waterfront location.

[zoncom]

It sounds like a comfort zone issue on Moms part .Dont over analayze. You might tell her you will lose all your $ as a no show if they do not go.Reminds me of my parents RV and late life cruising.My Mother wanted to do a cruise to AK and I was appointed chaperone. Thats when I found out he had Dementia.He got lost and started to try opening cabin doors, not his.Got his RV stuck in narrow streets at MardiGras They lived 10 more years.Enjoy them while you can!

[steph7021]

My mother in law is afraid of the water. Won't go in at all. But she loves cruising. I think this is pretty common.

[cruiseonthebrain]

Regardless of how this all ends up, don't feel like a heel. It seems to me like you were trying to do a nice thing for someone you love. And you have more patience than I could ever hope to have.

[txmom11]

My step-mother is TERRIFIED of water but cruised until her early 80's. For the last few years that she cruised, she did not get off the ship. Since that's what made her comfortable, we backed her.

 

Your mom is lucky to have you!

[Rainbowfalls]

Sorry this has happened to you.

 

I can understand on some level. My mom and sister both swear they died in the ocean or water in a previous life. Both of them are just terrified of it, they love how pretty it looks but the thought of going on a cruise freaked both of them out. I did feel bad as well cause I seriously told them both to just get over it we are going that is that..( I am highly stubborn which has led me to feel like a complete witch at times.) but my sister was in her twenties and my mom in her forties so it wasn't as bad had my mother been older like that I wouldn't have been so pushy, pushy yes but not so pushy. They are both glad that I did push them though, yes they still get a bit nervous prior but they love cruising now. My mom wont go into the ocean itself swimming wise but she loves the boat she likes looking at the water from a distance on the deck. A day prior or so she will take her seasickness meds and she's fine. My sister plans on doing that as well.

 

For your mother as others have suggested Call ahead to the hotel. Most hotels love those kinds of requests because most of the calls they do get is for ocean views. I love it when a guest calls for a low floor near the elevator because no one really wants those room types. so try that, if it doesn't work keep her windows closed or see if you can get a room with partial views.

 

See about some nerve pills from her doctor or something that would calm her down. Show your excitement for it and try to get her excited about it as well. Talk about things she can do on the ship like games, shows and shopping. Map alternate routes to avoid the decks if need be. I think though if she had something to calm her and was reassured that nothing is going to happen and she will have tons of fun then maybe she wont be so bad, but it's normal to be scared of being on a big boat in the middle of the ocean. I think everyone gets those titanic fears now and then.

 

 

for yourself you should breathe a bit. I know it's hard cause if your like me then any last minute (last minute being two months to two day before the event) just throws you off. Sometimes you just need to breathe take a moment say it's going to be ok and think it through. Either way don't feel so bad you are trying your best to make her comfortable and coming up with solutions even if she doesn't go at least you did your best.

[Boozebabe]

From what I gleaned from your original post is that she said. shes afraid of the water. NOT I'm afraid of the water and don't think I can cruise. Take it for what its worth. Ask her if shes getting clothes ready etc. That'll give you a clue if shes still wanting to go. I would emphasize the amenities of the ship, the food and entertainment etc. and the island tours and shopping. Don't even mention the water again.

 

I think she just wanted you to know shes scared of the water so you don't push the issue. Heck shes your mom, just ask her.

[notentirelynormal]

I don't mean to beat a dead horse but you are an adult and your Mother is an adult. If she chooses to go and then is miserable for the week...that is on her not you. Actually, at this point, your Mother (through your telling, I'm not judging) sounds like the selfish one in this scenario. Just tell her to stay home if the stress of "hurting" her causes you to face your holiday with trepidation.

 

We could all give you oodles of psychological goble-de-gook and tell you that you will be the heroine if you martyr yourself but that isn't what these boards are about.

 

This seems to be a problem between mother and daughter and can't be resolved by those posting here.

 

Wow. This is a little harsh isn't it? Kind of a mean spirited answer.

[cb at sea]

Tell her to go and not look at the water. If you don't see it, you'll never know it's there! The ship is like a resort hotel.. She'll be fine.

[Robinsoncruiseso]

I feel for you.

 

Talk to mom some more. Let her know that you heard what she said and that you understand. Validate her feelings.

 

Next, try to figure out what it is about water that she is afraid of. I find with my mom who is the same age, we think we know what it is they are afraid of but really it is something else.

 

Is it fear of the unknown? It is fear of drowning? Is it that she is worried about being on the ship? Is she worried about seasickness? Try showing her some YouTube videos of people of the same ship. Talk through what happens when you board, muster drill, being in a cabin. Then talk about all the non- water related activities.

 

 

This is just what I was thinking. Also, while you can't control the motion the water causes or quick glimpses as you walk by windows, you can avoid most outdoor areas and views of the ocean by walking inside, taking part in indoor activites, shows, etc.

 

I wish you the best. What a nice trip you have planned for your parents.