would you let 3 teenage girls....

[2ferfun]

This all seems a little crazy to me. When I was 19 and 20 I was living my life as an adult. My parents could not have (nor would they wanted to have) told me that I couldn't go somewhere or couldn't do something. I can't imagine a parent telling a 20 year old that they aren't allowed to do something. As a teacher who is always wondering why my high school seniors seem incapable of making decisions for themselves, I guess this explains alot...

[Ocean Dancer]

This all seems a little crazy to me. When I was 19 and 20 I was living my life as an adult. My parents could not have (nor would they wanted to have) told me that I couldn't go somewhere or couldn't do something. I can't imagine a parent telling a 20 year old that they aren't allowed to do something. As a teacher who is always wondering why my high school seniors seem incapable of making decisions for themselves, I guess this explains alot...

 

 

I lived that life too, and did pass it on to our two sons. They are both very independent.

 

BUT, you are always a parent. You never stop being one and there are times that your parenting comes out to your adult children. Both our sons have come to us for advice........never money.

 

We have been very fortunate to have played "parent " very little in our boy's adult life.

 

Having been all over Jamaica at least a dozen times, if they were my young adult daughters, no way would they go off without me.

[riclop]

Would you allow 3 girls ages 16, 19 and 20 get off of the ship on their own and do shore excursions purchased either through the ship or someplace like shoretrips?? Ports are Jamaica, Cozumel, Grand Cayman and Costa Maya

 

No way!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pipo]

Not in Jamaica. Montego Bay, the only place where I was offered pot (or any other kind of illegal drug) in a port of call, the guy didn't care that my mom was next to me!

[FalklandIslander]

Not in Jamaica. Montego Bay, the only place where I was offered pot (or any other kind of illegal drug) in a port of call, the guy didn't care that my mom was next to me!

 

If he didn't offer any to your mom, then that was rude.

[xxHadleyxx]

By the logic of many on this thread, I should not have allwoed my then 14 year old daughter to attend a Girl Scout convention in Houston without me (or any chaperone she had met prior to the trip for that matter---she was one of 10 girls flying in from overseas--all fomr different places). After all, my cousin was murdered in Houston at age 16---so my personal experience would be that it is a dangerous city---and stats do show it to be much mroe so than where we live.

 

But, you know, I can be rational and look at true risk and know the drive to teh airport is still the biggest one and let my kid grow and be independent--and that was a 14 year old on her own, not two legal adults and a 16 year old sister travelling together!

 

And the opinions on MExico in this thread floor me :eek: I seriously worry more about my oldest when they are at college in the good ole USA than when they visit grandparents in Mexico. And the stats support that---the odds of my kid coming to harm in Mexico for just being a a normal person walking around are lower than in small town Colorado. But, again, that requires being rational and looking at more than headlines.

 

Yes, kids of all ages go to parents for advice, and that is awesome, and we should all try our best to be helpful and give good advice and guidance throughout their lives---but that is not at all teh same as giving permission to adults to do basic things.

I am really surprised and dismayed at how many people are both so afraid of the world and so controlling of older teens/20 somethings. I had no idea this was so prevelant.

[Biker19]

According to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate

 

murder rates in general are:

 

Bahamas 29.8

Jamaica 36.1

Mexico 15.7

US Virgin Islands 52.6

US 3.9

Canada 1.4

 

but like real estate, a lot of this changes a lot by location.

[waterbug123]

No I would not expect the other people to end their excursion if someone fell and got hurt. But they could flag the group leader if they notice the girls are no longer with the group. I noted in my post that they wouldn't be expected to babysit the girls.

 

I asked, because I felt like the suggestion was very open-ended. Would I be willing to flag a leader if I noticed they were gone? Of course. But the suggestion was a broad "ask someone to look after them" albeit not "babysit" them. So where do you draw the line when making a broad, open-ended request like that to a stranger? Because I'd be willing to be that if the OP did that, and something serious happened and said stranger decided "oh well, that's more than I bargained for or agreed to, so I'm not getting involved" the OP would be ticked. Honestly, if the OP was so concerned that she felt she needed to ask a stranger to look after them, then the OP should suck it up and go on the excursion herself.

 

I'm not sure what your question is. How can you "allow" or "not allow" two adults traveling with you to do things that they want to do? They are adults. You give them reminders, instruct them, etc, but you no longer are obligated or permitted to control what they can or can't do.

 

 

If they are still your dependents and/or you are PAYING for their vacation and excursions, which I would bet the parent/OP is in this case, you most certainly CAN tell them what they are allowed to do. It's a corollary to the "as long as you live in my house, you'll follow my rules" directive. My son is 18 and a senior in high school so still a dependent. I grant him a lot of freedom, but no way is he allowed to do whatever, whenever, just because he's a legal adult.

[setsail]

By the logic of many on this thread, I should not have allwoed my then 14 year old daughter to attend a Girl Scout convention in Houston without me (or any chaperone she had met prior to the trip for that matter---she was one of 10 girls flying in from overseas--all fomr different places). After all, my cousin was murdered in Houston at age 16---so my personal experience would be that it is a dangerous city---and stats do show it to be much mroe so than where we live.

 

But, you know, I can be rational and look at true risk and know the drive to teh airport is still the biggest one and let my kid grow and be independent--and that was a 14 year old on her own, not two legal adults and a 16 year old sister travelling together!

 

And the opinions on MExico in this thread floor me :eek: I seriously worry more about my oldest when they are at college in the good ole USA than when they visit grandparents in Mexico. And the stats support that---the odds of my kid coming to harm in Mexico for just being a a normal person walking around are lower than in small town Colorado. But, again, that requires being rational and looking at more than headlines.

 

Yes, kids of all ages go to parents for advice, and that is awesome, and we should all try our best to be helpful and give good advice and guidance throughout their lives---but that is not at all teh same as giving permission to adults to do basic things.

I am really surprised and dismayed at how many people are both so afraid of the world and so controlling of older teens/20 somethings. I had no idea this was so prevelant.

 

Your logic is flawed, you have missed the point big time. So when you allowed your daughter to do these things did you go to a message board full of strangers to ask what to do? If you had to do that then there is something wrong, the op had to ask, that puzzle is broken

[mjkacmom]

Rationale for this thread is for the parents to save some money and stay on the ship rather than go with since they claim they are bored with shore excursions and family shore excursions?

 

Trust me, you will have plenty of time in your older age to be empty nesting and child free without having to spend a dime on your kids or family travels.

 

It will be quite painful to be away from them as they will have no time for you. You will have little choice, and chances are you won't matter too much in their grand scheme of things.

 

Until then, suck it up, even if you hate it. You can't turn back the hands of time for one single second. These are the times of your lives.

 

My mom gave me freedom and independence. After college, I moved back home for a year, and then moved out on my own, but nearby. For the next 25 years, she was one of my best friends, a second mother to my kids. I saw her every day, and spoke with her several times a day. My sister ended up several states away, spoke with her often, and saw her at least 6 weeks a year.

 

Some parents who over parent drive their kids away, physically and emotionally.

[foxygrl]

you want the trip to be memorable in a positive way not remembered for a tragedy better to be safe than sorry. there are to many shady people and the sex trade for girls runs rapid in other countries. obviously you are concerned since you are asking so go with your gut and say no! just my 2 cents.

[michyC]

If he didn't offer any to your mom, then that was rude.

 

I've heard rumours that they are rude in Jamaica. Gives me the shivers.

[michyC]

According to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intentional_homicide_rate

 

murder rates in general are:

 

Bahamas 29.8

Jamaica 36.1

Mexico 15.7

US Virgin Islands 52.6

US 3.9

Canada 1.4

 

but like real estate, a lot of this changes a lot by location.

 

 

I'd be interested in knowing what % of those murders were of cruise ship passengers on escorted tours and what percent were residents.

 

One thing OP hasn't even said was what type of excursion. Bus to a snorkel boat/seaplane/helicopter or walking tour with free time to shop at the market? Does it include transport back to the ship or is it free time to shop and make your way back? I'd probably be more inclined to worry about hygiene and contagious disease than crime.

 

You should read the non-fiction book "The Gift of Fear". It is an easy read by an expert on violence.

[Biker19]

I'd probably be more inclined to worry about hygiene and contagious disease than crime.

Actually, the most dangerous thing to do is get in a vehicle. A road accident is probably the most likely way for one to get hurt, cruiser or otherwise.

[michyC]

Actually, the most dangerous thing to do is get in a vehicle. A road accident is probably the most likely way for one to get hurt, cruiser or otherwise.

 

LOL - perhaps true, especially in Thailand, but both times I've spent time in Laos, I have gotten very bad diarrhea. The only place in Asia where this has happened and the only place in the world outside of Kenya. I've been trained in food safety and am very aware of hazards. I have to imagine Jamaica is an absolute hole. I'd treat the entire cruise as a cruise to nowhere.

[Esmerelda]

That would be a no from me. Too many young girls kidnapped into sex trafficking. I would not have the 3 of them go off on a ship alone and no zi am not a prude. I work in healthcare at a hospital. We have a huge issue with this problem in Ohio. We have had training classes and lextures on what to watch for regarding patients (males and females). Knowing what I know in the states, there is no way my 3 girls would travel alone in a foreign country. Anything can happen and it is unfortunately!

[Biker19]

I have to imagine Jamaica is an absolute hole.

 

Most Jamaicans would resent that remark.;)

 

Biker, who would brave jerk chicken in Jamaica.

[michyC]

That would be a no from me. Too many young girls kidnapped into sex trafficking. I would not have the 3 of them go off on a ship alone and no zi am not a prude. I work in healthcare at a hospital. We have a huge issue with this problem in Ohio. We have had training classes and lextures on what to watch for regarding patients (males and females). Knowing what I know in the states, there is no way my 3 girls would travel alone in a foreign country. Anything can happen and it is unfortunately!

 

So, what age would you let them go to, say, Ireland or Switzerland or Australia? 30? 35? What's a "lextures"?

[michyC]

Most Jamaicans would resent that remark.;)

 

Biker, who would brave jerk chicken in Jamaica.

 

1. Don't care.

 

2. Buy some allspice and make your own.

[JVilleGal]

Answering the OP's question: NOPE.

 

 

I have to strongly AGREE, No!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[padlock]

These replies are getting more and more absurd. There are not a large number of cruise ship passengers being kidnapped into the sex trade in Jamaica. In fact, I haven't been able to find any documented cases. Here's the closest I've found:

 

"In July 2012, three passengers of one family from the Carnival Freedom went missing for a short while in Jamaica after disembarking the cruise ship in Ocho Rios.

In August 2012, a fifty year old U.S. citizen disappeared for a period of time after disembarking from the Carnival Freedom in Ocho Rios.

In January 2015, two U.S. passenger went missing after leaving the Carnival Victory in Falmouth Jamaica.

All six of the passengers eventually showed up or were located in Jamaica. They all voluntarily over-stayed their legal status."

 

As has been previously pointed out, your car trip to the cruise terminal is statistically far more dangerous.

[michyC]

What about the Zika virus? I think "y'all" should cancel your cruise.

 

http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/notices/alert/zika-virus-jamaica

 

If that's not enough, then here you go:

 

http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/destinations/traveler/none/jamaica

[Ocean Dancer]

These replies are getting more and more absurd. There are not a large number of cruise ship passengers being kidnapped into the sex trade in Jamaica. In fact, I haven't been able to find any documented cases. Here's the closest I've found:

 

"In July 2012, three passengers of one family from the Carnival Freedom went missing for a short while in Jamaica after disembarking the cruise ship in Ocho Rios.

In August 2012, a fifty year old U.S. citizen disappeared for a period of time after disembarking from the Carnival Freedom in Ocho Rios.

In January 2015, two U.S. passenger went missing after leaving the Carnival Victory in Falmouth Jamaica.

All six of the passengers eventually showed up or were located in Jamaica. They all voluntarily over-stayed their legal status."

 

As has been previously pointed out, your car trip to the cruise terminal is statistically far more dangerous.

 

You've got to be kidding, right?? Have you ever been to Jamaica?

[michyC]

You've got to be kidding, right?? Have you ever been to Jamaica?

 

Maybe Jamaicans are getting less rude, and offering pot to everyone. Perhaps that's why they overstayed. Overcome by the hospitality of the locals.

[Mother Mary]

I had a teenage daughter who wanted to go on an excursion with other teens and I said NO! I have no regret! Did watch the movie "TAKEN"? A foreign country is entirely different animal! The laws are different and the culture is different. Even adults make bad choices not knowing what is really taking place. To ensure you see your daughters again, hang tough. That is what parenting is all about!:):)