Allure: Confessions of a solo passenger

[cstimmons]

So the new star wars comes out in a couple weeks. What's the over under that this is going to be finished before then?

 

Only joking because this is a great review.

 

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[cairns local]

Enjoying your review very much. Are you coming back?

[Brisgal1290]

crickets ..... crickets .....

 

Where’d she go? Having a life????

 

 

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[Ocean Dancer]

[hucifer]

Oh Lord, it was a very busy week! Between basketball games and Christmas shopping, I've had hardly any time for myself.

 

So that’s what the short rib looks like. Yorkvillain was to share one with my wife but she looked the other when when it arrived and when she looked back it was gone. He must be some sort of Magician or Illusionist.

 

As for the Oasis Class, we are total beast class cruisers.

 

That is a good trick. Perhaps it reappeared in a different form two days later?

 

Yes, I learned to love The Beast in all her beastie goodness.

 

No.. but .. lol.. She was just right there as I was typing that line out...

Okay...whew! Keep it PG, JJSMaine. I WILL NOT TOLERATE sexual innuendos on my thread. Wait. No. Yes I will.

[hucifer]

Ah.... i tried the combo. But my safe is still locked... perhaps it is a different one. Very much enjoying your review, it is quite entertaining. You are in the top 10 reviews I have ever read on this forum.

 

WOW. Thank you for that wonderful compliment. I am honored and humbled.

 

You didn't try it on the right safe!

Only Day 3!!! :o There's more???

 

You've already licked the aqua show performers, crushed the 80's song trivia contest, met two other male solo travelers in the MDR (but connected unsuccessfully, although apparently through no fault of your own), and nearly climaxed when tasting the duck confit in 150 CP. ;) I hope that you didn't order the black cod entrée on your second visit to 150 CP; if so, that post might require censorship. :D

 

Sounds like you're really in the groove so far, so I hope that Labadee wasn't a big disappointment.

 

Enjoying your commentary; a really fun read.

Lots more. Oh, I have a lot to say.

 

So the black cod is good? Oh, looks like another trip to 150 Central Park is in order. But I must say that I am not a fan of censoring myself.

[hucifer]

Thank you so much for this great review! I’m so glad I found it. I traveled on The Beast in March with my DH and three kids plus another family (my kids first cruise, my third). It was amazing. I agree with you that Central Park became my favorite place to hangout and I would have never thought so before getting on the ship. We never ate at any of the pay for placed because my thought was we paid for perfectly wonderful food already with the included places. My kids loved dinner every night at the dinning hall. We had two interior rooms to keep the price down. Nothing wrong with that!

 

While on the cruise, my husband won a free cruise playing in a poker tournament, we leave on Dec 10th, same ship, same ports. I was a little disappointed at first that it was the same ship, since we already saw all the shows, but this ship is so amazing, I’m exciting to hang out on her again. The best part of the free cruise, we get a balcony overlooking Cental park on floor 10! I’ve never had a balcony before and I’m super excited plus we get one free meal at a pay place, so after reading your review, I’m thinking Central 150 is the place to go.

 

It’s been very inspirational to read your perspective traveling solo. I will miss my kids and friends but I’m excited to get to do my own thing while my husband plays at the big poker tournament (included in the prize). I was hoping to meet some fun cool people at the dinner table, but have now lowered my expectations after reading your blog... Have a great Thanksgiving!

 

A Central Park balcony? Oh I am SO JEALOUS. And YES...150 Central Park is amazing. I hope you enjoy, and if you do eat there, come back here and post about it.

 

Enjoy your second trip on The Beast, and enjoy your specialty dinner, whatever that may be.

 

If you think for one minute that all of those words is going to throw me off to the fact that the combo you posted could not possibly be for a safe aboard Allure you are sadly mistaken. I was born at night but it wasn't last night.

 

And... I am in love with the Aqua Theater. It is the main reason I book Oasis class ships.

Correct, it is not the combination to the interior2 [patooey!] cabin.

 

The Aqua show, and all its beautiful patrons, was definitely a highlight for me. Incredible performance. Except for the clown guy in the beginning.

[hucifer]

I think she gave the combination to her soap safe. 99-44-100% pure Ivory soap. This lady does not swim in the shallow end of the pool.

 

WRONG. Although, I'll give you kudos for that answer. It is the combination to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Since it's the same number, I'll give you a pass.

 

Well why should she since Ivory soap floats... :D

Okay, that was pretty funny.

[hucifer]

Cheers hucifer, you are one funny and entertaining lady,

 

can't wait for the next installment of this brilliant review.

 

Thank you so much, top golfer! It's coming soon...

 

I read all twelve pages of this at one sitting. Not only do I enjoy your wit and writing style, but I am developing a new appreciation for the Beast-like ships. One RCCL stopped building Radiance class ships and moved on to the Explorer class (which are now cabin cruisers compared to the new ships), we/I moved on to Celebrity. After reading this I could get back onboard with Royal.

 

Another solo cruiser and Disney gal here. Off to The World for 5 nights next week for Christmas decorations viewing. Next solo cruise is in Feb. on Silhouette.

 

I found this thread today as I was researching something on C&A benefits. I am D+ (barely) as the DDH (dear deceased husband) and I cruised in Suites. Alas, the Suite Life is a life I no longer live, unless the SO (husbandlike person) or a female friend join me.

 

We have enough solo travelers here to get a group rate, if we find the right TA.

Hello, and welcome fellow solo cruiser and Disney gal! It's wonderful to know that there are so many of us out there...just wish we could actually plan to get on the same ship once in a while.

Glad you found my thread, and I welcome you if you decide to come back to Royal. I agree that I tend to like the smaller ships, but The Beast blew me away. Unexpectedly.

 

Love love love the idea of a bunch of us solos traveling together! I seriously would love to arrange this.

 

So the new star wars comes out in a couple weeks. What's the over under that this is going to be finished before then?

 

Only joking because this is a great review.

No, that was a valid slam. When my son joined basketball, my free time vanished. And then Christmas shopping/decorating/etc got in the way. But don't give up on me!

 

Enjoying your review very much. Are you coming back?

Yes! I'm here! I am so sorry! Want to post about Labadee soon!

 

crickets ..... crickets .....

 

Where’d she go? Having a life????

Something like that. The good news is, I am 95% done with my Christmas shopping. :)

[hucifer]

DAY 3: LABADEE THROWS OFF MY GROOVE

“Go, and never darken my towels again.”

-- Groucho Marx

 

Before the cruise, folks would ask me where I was going. Conversations went something like this:

 

[them] “Going on a cruise? Where are you headed?”

 

[me] “Western Caribbean. Includes Cozumel, Jamaica, and Haiti.”

 

[them, making a funny look] “HAITI?”

 

[me] “Yeah, no. Not the real Haiti. It’s a sequestered area of that is protected with Jurassic Parklike electric fences so those annoying locals won’t bother us sunbathers. So it’s Haiti, but pretend and like, all safe and stuff.”

 

Today is Labadee Day. In other words, Fake Haiti. No excursion booked, just going to park myself on the sand and enjoy the free-ness of all that is a private Royal Caribbean stop.

 

I have only been on one other cruise line and that was Norwegian. Now, it has been my experience that private islands kinda suck, at least with these two cruise lines. The Norwegian one had sand fleas, and I still have scars from the bites. That was the year 2000.

 

Labadee, the deceptive first look

So my expectations were low for Labadee. And thank goodness they were, because I am not impressed. Maybe I would have been if the beach wasn’t packed with side-by-side lounge chairs. I walk all the way to Columbus Cove just to discover that even the furthest beach is swarming with people. Some friendly guy fetches me a lounge chair, but after he leaves I notice that a few of the straps of the chair are broken and when I sit up, they make the back side flip forward and hit me on the head. I tipped a guy for this abuse.

Because nothing screams authenticity like DreamWorks characters on a Caribbean island.

And don’t even get me started with that “parade” that went through the area. Too late, I got started. I hear them long before they got to my chair. At first you think, “What is that lovely music?” But that is the last time you think those words. It doesn’t take long to realize that they are playing the same ten notes over and over. And then you see this “parade” is slowly inching their way toward you. And they don’t know any other notes. Holycrap balls, make it stop. And – for the love of all things holy – they finally walk their way to my area and stop DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY LOUNGE CHAIR. And they continue to play those same ten notes. It is like getting stuck on It’s A Small World, except the dolls are actually in your boat and singing AT VOLUME ELEVEN. I pray they move along before I snap. I am very close to flinging my lounge chair at them.

Because nothing screams Caribbean like a guy on stilts.

Mercifully, sanctuary comes in the form of coconut. Remember my “coconut prostitute” admission early on?

 

[crickets]

 

Okay people. I know there must be SOMEONE who is still reading. No? I lost everyone? Writing for my own amusement? Anyway, so I says to myself…I says, “Hey Hucifer. What happened this particular morning that involves coconuts?” “WELL,” I says back. “I am so glad you asked. Earlier this morning I see this in the Cruise Compass…”

 

[record scratch]

 

Ooh. Mama like.

 

So I am trying to tune out the Fake Haiti parade and keep an eye out for these coconut-bearing people. Sure enough, the Coconut Cart comes by after the parade mercifully wanders away. They are calling out, “Fresh coconut drink!” And I sit up, get thwacked in the head by my broken lounge chair, and scream out to my new besties to stop, for the love of God. The Coconut Cart screams to a stop in front of me and the Coconut Cart Crew jump out and ask if I want it with or without alcohol. Pfffffft. Stop asking stupid questions and be generous with that rum, mister! I need to forget that damn parade music that is swirling around in my head.

Mmm...coconut and rum...and a single flip flop.

How much OBC do I have left? Let’s see. $35 minus $10.95 for a coconut drink…minus the extra $10 tip from last night equals…uhhh. Something less than $35. Math is hard. And that OBC is going quickly.

 

Lunch is decent but forgettable. I have a burger and some sides. This is one of those times when being solo kinda sucks. Do I risk theft and leave my stuff behind, or do I gather my belongings and have to juggle my things and the food at the same time? I compromise and grab two things: my phone and Sea Pass card. I don’t trust the guy on stilts. I’m sure he was eyeing my broken lounge chair and its contents from way up there.

 

The heat is sweltering. That’s saying something, coming from me. I love heat. I have been in Florida in July and August and felt at home. In fact, I feel most comfortable in 88-degree weather. Humidity or dry heat, I don’t care. This is when people wonder how since I was born and raised in Michigan. And here is my answer: I don’t know. But I am miserable in the cold, so it is safe to say that I am miserable in Michigan six months of the year.

 

However, today is so hot (how hot is it?), that it feels oppressive. I am not doing my usual feminine glistening, I am downright wet with sweat. I don’t understand my sudden intolerance for the heat, but maybe it has to do with the whole Fake Haiti atmosphere and the repetitive five notes swirling around my brain.

 

Day 3 TO BE CONTINUED since I cannot post more than six photos at a time...

[Citymom92]

Glad you’re back! Really enjoying your review.

 

 

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[JJSMaine]

DAY 3: LABADEE THROWS OFF MY GROOVE

 

 

 

Throw off that groove and toss 'er in the sea,

We'll dance the tango if you teach it to me.

Your humor and wit has me is stiches,

just this side of pissing my britches!

[Ready 2 Cruise]

I am loving your review! My husband wanted to know why I was laughing, "Beach Parade" I gasped out

You had to be giggling while you were writing that.

Thank you for the most enjoyable review I've read. Looking forward to the next installment,

[hucifer]

Glad you’re back! Really enjoying your review.

 

Thank you! I missed you guys so much.

 

[sniff]

 

Throw off that groove and toss 'er in the sea,

We'll dance the tango if you teach it to me.

Your humor and wit has me is stiches,

just this side of pissing my britches!

You suffer from incontinence, too?

 

I am loving your review! My husband wanted to know why I was laughing, "Beach Parade" I gasped out

You had to be giggling while you were writing that.

Thank you for the most enjoyable review I've read. Looking forward to the next installment

OMG, thank you! But there are better trip reports here...you just haven't found them yet.

So...you have been a victim of the "beach parade" too? Ugh. That was awful.

[A&L_Ont]

That is a good trick. Perhaps it reappeared in a different form two days later?

 

Perhaps some devils donuts, afterall York loves his Squatty Potty.:')

[Clarea]

Perhaps some devils donuts, afterall York loves his Squatty Potty.:')

Thanks for bringing that up again Andrew!:eek:

[A&L_Ont]

Thanks for bringing that up again Andrew!:eek:

 

At least I didn’t mention Rick’s beach photo or the lateral flash thong. Well now, I guess I’ve have mentioned them.

[Clarea]

At least I didn’t mention Rick’s beach photo or the lateral flash thong. Well now, I guess I’ve have mentioned them.

Let's hope you didn't wake those two up.

[JJSMaine]

You suffer from incontinence, too?

 

 

 

Sitting on the balcony, Comfy in depends...

Smelling like a cat box, til our bitter ends

 

 

:P

[Straughn]

Ahhhh, Labadee, my first experience with a cruise line private island. There was no special suite area, no parade, just a few bar guys wandering around selling the drink of the day, a banana boat ride, some snorkeling and jet ski excursions and the local straw market.

 

The beaches weren't crowded, the line for lunch was only long for the first 30 minutes.

 

In those days, the ships had maybe 2,500 passengers, not 6,000. Explains a lot...

 

Private island stops now equate to a sea day for me. I have my choice of pool chairs, there is no line in the buffet and I eat in air conditioned comfort without flies, sand flies, or sand.

[JJSMaine]

 

Private island stops now equate to a sea day for me. I have my choice of pool chairs, there is no line in the buffet and I eat in air conditioned comfort without flies, sand flies, or sand.

 

add St Thomas and San Juan to that list.. and maybe Cozumel and a couple others... lol They are all really nice places, but after being there 3 or 4 times as you say... sea day with less people on the boat!!

[tennislvr8]

add St Thomas and San Juan to that list.. and maybe Cozumel and a couple others... lol They are all really nice places, but after being there 3 or 4 times as you say... sea day with less people on the boat!!

I agree we are leaving on the harmony on a few weeks with no plans to leave the ship on port days. We did the same on the anthem two years ago.

 

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[do_not_spindle]

Ah, Labadee. To add insult to injury, if you participate in blood drives, you cannot donate for 12 months after visiting Labadee. US CDC includes Labadee in the list of locations where malaria is present. Told this by the blood drive screener after being careful I was past the shorter cut-off for zika, and I don't think we'd seen a skeeter for the few hours we were ashore. Oh well.

 

Update: Read on another thread on donating after port calls, screeners at some donation centers may use a 24-hour rule for the exclusion. My screener did not,. It was 12 months for me. They see a lot of current and ex military who have spent time in some very interesting places with all sorts of exclusion rules so they're current and strict on what is in and what is not. YMMV applies. When in doubt, volunteer for a drive, be truthful and complete on the screening questionnaire, and see what happens.

 

For "private islands", we prefer Coco Cay. I treat it as an "At Sea" day with a "whatevah" schedule. Labadee does have advantage of walking ashore vs. tendering, and the "Dragons Tail zip line if you're into that sort of thing.

 

Enjoying the photos, snark, side comments, and peanut gallery.

Edited November 30, 2017 by do_not_spindle
updated info on blood donations

[Central Oregon Gal]

Ahhhh, Labadee, my first experience with a cruise line private island. There was no special suite area, no parade, just a few bar guys wandering around selling the drink of the day, a banana boat ride, some snorkeling and jet ski excursions and the local straw market.

 

The beaches weren't crowded, the line for lunch was only long for the first 30 minutes.

 

In those days, the ships had maybe 2,500 passengers, not 6,000. Explains a lot...

 

Private island stops now equate to a sea day for me. I have my choice of pool chairs, there is no line in the buffet and I eat in air conditioned comfort without flies, sand flies, or sand.

 

I agree with you 100%

[dani negreanu]

Okay people. I know there must be SOMEONE who is still reading. No? I lost everyone? Writing for my own amusement?

[Lucifer] Still here, still riveted :D