Gender misidentification

[Aquahound]

I agree with those who said this was most likely an honest mistake. I'm sorry you were offended, but time to move on.

[MrYellowDuck]

Must be an American thing. Here such discrimination is illegal and no large business would make a mistake of not training their staff properly around this. I recall when my previous employer adopted the dress code from the UK operation - the only change made was "no bare midriffs for women" was changed to "no bare midriffs"; which for me was an improvement too since the former might be delightful but the latter absolutely never so.

[Chrissit]

OP - I'm sorry that happened to you. I've never been in that situation, but had I made that mistake, trust me when I say that it would be something I'd be thinking about for a long while. I'd be willing to bet the comment she made after was only because she was so thrown off. That's a hard one to recover from!

 

The pregnant comments made me giggle - as a female who carries her weight around the middle, I have been mistaken for pregnant more than once.

 

On a cruise we were coming back on a tender and the tender was full. There was a kindly gentleman who kept attempting to offer me his seat. After I initially declined him, he sat back down, but then got back up and asked me at least twice more. I thought he was just being chivalrous, but then realized that with the clothing I was wearing that day, I did look a bit pregnant.. (I wasn't). I appreciated the kind thought - he never outright mentioned it.

 

In the other instance, back in the day I had a retail part time job that I loved. While I was at work, I was wearing a cute empire type of shirt (gathers under the bust and flows down). A nice lady walked up to me, placed her hands on my belly, and asked me when I was due. I paused a moment, told her I wasn't pregnant and continued about my way as I've heard/been asked far worse in that position, but she was mortified.

 

Please, don't assume the lady is pregnant. Also, don't touch (that was beyond weird!).

Edited December 28, 2017 by Chrissit
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[baileybrad]

I am a small framed female with curly shoulder length hair and a small chest but it is there! I attempted to entire the dining room wearing a sleeveless summer shirt. Auren a female greeter told me I could not enter in a tank top. Another woman was leaving the dining room wearing a tank top. I pointed to her and said but she was let in. Auren says “she’s a woman” I’m like “I’m a woman!!!!” She says “oh I thought you were a man. You can come in”. Huh?????

Mistakes happen but sorry that this one happened to you. The employee might have just caught a partial glancing view of you. But where was Auren last week when I was on the Oasis........backwards ball cap and tank top topped off with flip flops, really nice. I am just happy that our 3 sons looked at the twenty something and just shook their heads.

[It'sRC4ME]

Must be an American thing. Here such discrimination is illegal and no large business would make a mistake of not training their staff properly around this. I recall when my previous employer adopted the dress code from the UK operation - the only change made was "no bare midriffs for women" was changed to "no bare midriffs"; which for me was an improvement too since the former might be delightful but the latter absolutely never so.

 

Ha! Google Beijing Bikini and see what your employer cleverly avoided!

[grouchomarx]

Ha! Google Beijing Bikini and see what your employer cleverly avoided!

 

Thank you that made me laugh so hard!!!!!!

[nursemom2]

I once asked a patient if he was ok with his mother being in the room while I examined him.... I was mortified when he said.." that's not my mother.. she's my WIFE!

 

 

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[Clarea]

I once asked a patient if he was ok with his mother being in the room while I examined him.... I was mortified when he said.." that's not my mother.. she's my WIFE!

Good one!:D

 

Bet you never asked that again.

[03063Dad]

I am a small framed female with curly shoulder length hair and a small chest but it is there! I attempted to entire the dining room wearing a sleeveless summer shirt. Auren a female greeter told me I could not enter in a tank top. Another woman was leaving the dining room wearing a tank top. I pointed to her and said but she was let in. Auren says “she’s a woman” I’m like “I’m a woman!!!!” She says “oh I thought you were a man. You can come in”. Huh?????

So this obviously was a tough situation for you, completely understandable. Why is this here with the 'huh????' - is it making you feel better to shame Auren online? The internet is weird.

[ptf2009]

I think most people have made this mistake once in their lives and are so regretful.

 

Here’s another one: How about the ‘Mom” who is told that their “grandchild” is so cute......

[Cookiecookie]

I think she was probably mortified enough not to report it.

Totally agree.

Time to move on, I was once asked by a flight attendant how soon my baby was due ! Yeah guess what I wasn't pregnant lol

[grapau27]

I am a small framed female with curly shoulder length hair and a small chest but it is there! I attempted to entire the dining room wearing a sleeveless summer shirt. Auren a female greeter told me I could not enter in a tank top. Another woman was leaving the dining room wearing a tank top. I pointed to her and said but she was let in. Auren says “she’s a woman” I’m like “I’m a woman!!!!” She says “oh I thought you were a man. You can come in”. Huh?????

Very tactless customer service and upsetting for you.

[grapau27]

I might be missing the point here, but why is it ok to enter if she's a woman but denied entry if it were a man??

I agree, why is it okay for women to wear tank tops and shorts? but men are not in the restaurant.

It doesn't bother me but is a viable point and this lady would not have been embarrassed because the question would not have been asked.

[grapau27]

I have heard that it has to do with men's hairy armpits as against women's nicely-shaved ones. Not sure what they would do in the event of a man with shaved armpits, of which there are many nowadays...

Apparently in Germany lots of ladies have hairy armpits.

[CrossBluePerchance]

Why report it, I’m sure it was an honest mistake.

Oh yeah, turn the knife. :D

[snoozer of the seas]

Never ask a woman if she is pregnant, even if she is obviously in labour and the baby is crowning.

[grapau27]

Must be an American thing. Here such discrimination is illegal and no large business would make a mistake of not training their staff properly around this. I recall when my previous employer adopted the dress code from the UK operation - the only change made was "no bare midriffs for women" was changed to "no bare midriffs"; which for me was an improvement too since the former might be delightful but the latter absolutely never so.

I remember talking to 2 ladies and i said to one oh is that your mother your with?

The other lady then said no she is my younger sister.

eek.

[suekay]

I once asked a patient if he was ok with his mother being in the room while I examined him.... I was mortified when he said.." that's not my mother.. she's my WIFE!

 

 

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Snap! I never made that mistake again

[GUT2407]

Discrimination if a woman can and a man can’t.

[grapau27]

Discrimination if a woman can and a man can’t.

Wow that is open to question.lol

[ReneeFLL]

I think that it was down right rude of the greeter to make any assumptions about your or anyone's gender. You should have reported it to the Maitre'D. And since when to they tell anyone about anything that they are wearing, even on formal night!?

 

All to often the crew doesn't say anything when they should. That's part of the problem that people take advantage of when it comes the the dress suggestions. Yes I know it's a suggestion, but they make the suggestions so that people hopefully don't show up like slobs. Unfortunately it hasn't worked very well.

 

As for reporting it I'm sure it was an honest mistake. I bet Auren was more mortified than the op.

[Mikew0805]

I once asked a patient if he was ok with his mother being in the room while I examined him.... I was mortified when he said.." that's not my mother.. she's my WIFE!

 

 

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Oh oh.. been there, done that.. with several variations. :rolleyes:

[CruiseGal999]

I have a bit of a high voice and I know it. I get mistaken for female on the phone quite often. Sometimes I'll correct them, sometimes I won't. It's something I know and understand and no hard feelings.

 

I am a woman with a slightly deep voice ... smoker's voice, although I quit 25 years ago. I get called sir on the phone all the time ...still to this day.

[gailforce2000]

Never ask a woman if she is pregnant, even if she is obviously in labour and the baby is crowning.

 

 

 

Lol

 

 

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[kknorr0320]

I agree, why is it okay for women to wear tank tops and shorts? but men are not in the restaurant.

It doesn't bother me but is a viable point and this lady would not have been embarrassed because the question would not have been asked.

Men's tank tops are pretty much workout shirts, but women can wear dressy tank tops. That's why most places will allow a woman to wear a tank top.

 

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