“So a Penguin, a Horse and Polar Bear walk into a bar on the Edge...

[centurycruiser]

The nudist colony reported a hole in their fence. Police are looking into it.

[centurycruiser]

All the toilets at the police station were stolen over night. Police have nothing to go on.

[C-Dragons]

[Fouremco]

[Safety Squirrel]

[goofysmom99]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...

[centurycruiser]

[Safety Squirrel]

C

[centurycruiser]

[centurycruiser]

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

‘We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair …. Kill her!!’

The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.’

The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man for this job.

Take your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I tried, But I can’t kill my wife.’

The agent said, ‘You don’t Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.’

Finally, it was the woman’s turn.

She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.

They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls..

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

‘This gun is loaded with blanks’ she said. ‘I had to kill him with the chair!

[Denny01]

A 76 year old guy loved to fish. One Sunday morning, when he should have been in church, he was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say. 

“Pick me up!”

He looked around and couldn’t see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again. 

“Pick me up!”

He looked into the water and there floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog said, “ Yes, i am talking to you! Pick me up , kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful, sexiest and voluptuous woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure all your friends are envious and jealous and I will be your blessing bride!”

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, “ What are you, nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? Kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!”

The man opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, “ Nah, at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog!"
 

 

Den

[Safety Squirrel]

[centurycruiser]

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

[goofysmom99]

[C-Dragons]

[C-Dragons]

[helby]

[Denny01]

[centurycruiser]

[2chiefs]

15 hours ago, C-Dragons said:

This one is hilarious. Those who haven't served in the Navy may not appreciate this as much we do...

LOL

T

[centurycruiser]

[C-Dragons]

[Von & John]

[goofysmom99]