So, when we got our cat, Victoria, she was a grey tabby. Very skittish. I swore she was going to be social, let me hold her. So everyday when I got home from work changed my clothes let her out of her room, I carried her around the house for the next 30 minutes or so. At first just trying to hold on to her in a comforting way, eventually me rubbing her belly and ears, etc.
Silly cat almost lived to 22. She even snuggled with 3 different dogs during that time.
JC