Fear of drowning - how do I get someone to overcome this fear?

[beemergal]

Personally I am a huge fan of cruising and I would love for a couple of my sisters to be able to cruise with me. Unfortunately, one is hysterically afraid of drowning and the other has enough fear she does not think she could enjoy a cruise. Not experiencing this kind of fear myself, I don't know how much I should push them to try. I think they would have a good time if they tried it, but, unless you share the same fear, I am not sure if I can fully understand their feelings. Should I give up trying or have you converted someone with the same fear?

[Arwenmark]

You should not push them AT ALL. Phobias are very real and if you don't have one you have no idea what it means. and YOU don't get someone to get over one. It takes a lot of psychotherapy and other things and sometimes still does not work. and it the wish to do that must come from the person not someone else that doesn't like that they have this condition.

[rjm1cc]

Other than professional help I would look for a sighseeing boat and try and get them on the boat for a couple of hours.

[cruiseco]

Let your sisters pick a vacation and go with them. There's more to life than cruising.

[Keith1010]

If crusing is important to your sisters they will seek out professional help. Otherwise if youi would like to vacation with them find a land vacation.

 

Keith

[pg.]

Anyone who is hysterically afraid of drowning ,, on a cruise ship of all things( where you can actually believe you are in a hotel not on a ship) cannot be convinced out of their fear as it is a phobia and by defination not reasonable.

 

Don't bother , you can cruise ,, but with them, pick a land holiday.

[iheartbda]

........ Not experiencing this kind of fear myself, I don't know how much I should push them to try.

Pushing them is the worst thing you can do. Like another person said, phobias are very real to the person.

 

I think they would have a good time if they tried it.....

If they aren't having a good time, which is most likely based on their fears, how are you going to handle it? They can't just get off the ship.

[jmf123]

Certainly everyone is different, but as a former TA I had a client who was deathly afraid of the water. Her family booked a multi-generational 7 night cruise on the Mexican Riviera and she didn't want to be left behind at the pier. So she sailed, had the time of her life, and came back proudly proclaiming that she was no longer afraid of the ocean and couldn't wait until the next family cruise! :) I agree that someone should not be pushed into going on a cruise, but perhaps a short harbor cruise would be a good introduction.

[BIG_Steve]

I agree, don't push it. Even if they could put it out of their minds for awhile, there is always a chance they would "crack" (not intended as a put down or joke) while out at sea. What are you going to do far out at sea with a sister or two having a panic attack? There is a time and a place for everything. But taking someone cruising who is afraid of the water is not a good choice.

[RetireeWannabee]

they have to want to confront the issue, they have to want to change. there is nothing you can do.

 

I fear spiders. if you came running at me with a spider, I might have to kill you, and my fear would remain, but then I would be angry at you. Not the same thing, but, it's the same thing. You cannot "treat" my fear.

[cb at sea]

Even a very strong swimmer is likely to drown, if dropped into the middle of the ocean, especially after falling 10-14 decks from a ship! Probably die from the fall, instead of drowning, actually!

If they don't want to go, don't take them!

[navybankerteacher]

OP's term "hysterically afraid" indicates not only great fear -- but also irrational fear. Of course, you cannot press someone to do something they dread -- but many people have been able to overcome irrational fears -- by dealing with them rationally.

 

Fear of flying is regularly cured - in several steps --the first just sitting in a plane for a while on the ground -- then simply taxiing, finally, after several such preparatory, sessions, by actually going up for a brief flight. Of course there are some drop-outs along the way, but many people have been cured by such a multi-step approach.

 

Perhaps something like just sitting on a beach, then sitting on a pier, then in a small boat tied to a pier, then crossing a narrow river on a ferry, and so on, couldcure someone of fear of going to sea. Of course it isn't actually necessary to overcome a fear of cruising-- but it is a mistake to claim that a phobia cannot be cured.

[dustyroad]

my mother is the same way about flying. anything we do as a family group reunion vacation with her is done by driving too the spot we choose for the get-together. so if your sisters are that afraid of cruising why make them miserable '' if '' you can get them on the ship. take a land vacation so you all can enjoy it. then jump on a ship and have a great time on your cruise without them :D.

[SoFetch]

Don't push them. One day they may decided to take the steps to overcome, but it should be THEIR OWN decision, not yours.

 

Just because they get on the ship and see everythings fine, doesn't mean they will suddenly realize their fear is irrational. Like another poster pointed out, one of them could have a breakdown at sea, or at the very least, they might not enjoy themselves because they are uneasy.

 

I have a fear of flying, and I know my fear is irrational, yet that doesn't stop me from being terrified and white-knuckling it all the way. I can't imagine feeling the way I feel on a plane for an entire week!

[beemergal]

Good advice from all. I had wanted to plan a reunion cruise that we all could attend, but I believe you are right not to push. Can that idea!

[bbwex]

Someone has already mentioned the programs that are out there to help people get over their fear of flying. However, someone mentioned sitting on the beach, then the pier, and then a small boat. I would have to disagree with the last though -- a small boat. I would think that it would be much easier to get past the fear on a large ship given the feeling, once aboard, that you are hardly on the water. That can pose some problems since cruise ships no longer allow visitors, but there are options out there.

 

The OP did not say where the sisters are, but if they took some steps, and then got on a large ship for a visit, they might start to get over it. I wouldn't just go on a large ship as a first step, but talking about their fears, and then dealing with them in a step-by-step process might work.

 

I sail with a friend whose wife is a non-swimmer, and is afraid to get on a sailboat -- mine isn't so small as to be able to flip over, but it's not the Queen Mary either.

 

As one poster has said, if a ship sinks, being a good swimmer won't be worth a whole lot if you are in the water miles from shore, but I wonder if they learned how to swim if that might not help as well.

[donaldsc]

Let me restate your problem slightly. Assume that you are irrationally afraid of snakes. Many people are. I happen to love snakes and I want to go on a vacation to Snakeland where there are lots and lots of non-poisonous snakes wandering around.

 

I insist that because I love snakes, you are missing a wonderful experience and you would just have a great time and overcome your fear of snakes if you just came on vacation with me to Snakeland.

 

My point is that I have no more right to insist that you come to Snakeland with me than you have a right to try to get them on a cruise. Put bluntly - it is NONE of your business. You people who assume that because you love something, everyone else in the world should also love it and if they don't, they are wrong and need to be saved from themselves - are totally intolerant.

 

DON

[BIG_Steve]

Where is Snakeland? Is it any where near Mouseville in Florida? I want to see Mr. Jingles there. He's a circus mouse.....

[JLC@SD]

Personally I am a huge fan of cruising and I would love for a couple of my sisters to be able to cruise with me. Unfortunately, one is hysterically afraid of drowning and the other has enough fear she does not think she could enjoy a cruise. Not experiencing this kind of fear myself, I don't know how much I should push them to try. I think they would have a good time if they tried it, but, unless you share the same fear, I am not sure if I can fully understand their feelings. Should I give up trying or have you converted someone with the same fear?

 

The key word is hysterically afraid........and cruising is not doable if the fear is that profound.....

[dustyroad]

Where is Snakeland? Is it any where near Mouseville in Florida? I want to see Mr. Jingles there. He's a circus mouse.....

 

lol,i will stick with mouseville. im afraid of snakes too. more than mice :D

 

just get me too florida :D:D

[room010]

Even if you can drag/cajole/bribe your sister onto a cruise she will probably spend the entire trip either sedated/medicated to oblivion or sit anxiously next to the lifeboats and wearing her lifejacket ready to abandon ship or drive everyone (and herself) crazy worrying about every movement, sound, etc. It's totally irrational of course but that's what phobias are and if hers is so profound she will need a lot of specific therapy to overcome it - assuming she even wants to. Pick a vacation in a nice hotel with a beach.

[donaldsc]

lol,i will stick with mouseville. im afraid of snakes too. more than mice :D

 

just get me too florida :D:D

 

Lots of snakes in Florida. Some of them are even poisonous.

 

DON

[donaldsc]

Even if you can drag/cajole/bribe your sister onto a cruise she will probably spend the entire trip either sedated/medicated to oblivion or sit anxiously next to the lifeboats and wearing her lifejacket ready to abandon ship or drive everyone (and herself) crazy worrying about every movement, sound, etc. It's totally irrational of course but that's what phobias are and if hers is so profound she will need a lot of specific therapy to overcome it - assuming she even wants to. Pick a vacation in a nice hotel with a beach.

 

There is a very simple and inexpensive therapy to her "problem" - don't take cruises and stay on land. Again, why is it necessary to try to force her to take cruises instead of going to Snakeland?

 

DON

[lady_cruiser]

Not that this might help but my sister is literally afraid of water. She only takes showers because she tells me that people have been known to drown in only 2 or 3 inches of water in their bath tubs. She won't go to the beach because if she walks in the water and it is above her ankle she gets a panic attack (sweaty palms, racing heart, etc.)

 

But for some reason or the other she loves cruising and she stays on our balcony more than I can. She knows that if something happens to the cruise ship while we at sea she will not only have a life vest but also a life boat to keep her out of the water. And the railing of the balcony, which is about 3-4 feet high will keep her from falling oversboard.

 

In fact all I have to mention the word cruise and she is starting to pack.

 

You have to convince your friends that today's cruise liners are safer than the Titanic. They are bigger, have more than enough life boats for everyone, are within distance of other cruise ships, coast guard cutters, helicopters and are stablized so 95% of the time you feel little movement when they are cruising at top speeds.

 

My first cruise was during Hurricane Rita. We did not even know that the Port of Galveston, we were left from, had closed because of a hurricane. We found out when the ship's captain came on the overhead announcement system and told us we were going to spend two extra days at sea so we could wait until the port opened to us. For two days we had beautiful sunny weather. If it wasn't that I was worried about my house back home (I live near Lafayette, LA) which also was in the path of Hurricane Rita I probably could have relaxed a little more than I did.

 

The captain and his crew do not want to die anymore than we do so he and his staff will do everything to keep us safe.

 

Try taking your friends on a 3 day cruise to no where. Get them a cabin, mid ship on mid level where the ride is the smoothest. Once they experience how safe and fun it is they will soon be booking a cruise to different ports-of-call where they can experience the culture of other cultures.

 

Good luck and let us know how you convinced them to cruise with you.

[ducklovemama]

Personally I am a huge fan of cruising and I would love for a couple of my sisters to be able to cruise with me. Unfortunately, one is hysterically afraid of drowning and the other has enough fear she does not think she could enjoy a cruise. Not experiencing this kind of fear myself, I don't know how much I should push them to try. I think they would have a good time if they tried it, but, unless you share the same fear, I am not sure if I can fully understand their feelings. Should I give up trying or have you converted someone with the same fear?

 

 

 

 

I just got over my fear last month on a caribbean cruise. I am was very afraid of water when I could not feel the bottom.So my husband bought me a snorkle vest and i just went for it. I even went snorkling off of a sailboat in DEEP water. I am 54 years old and have been cruising for the last 11 years and it took this long to get over the fear.But at the same time there is not much you can do.I overcame my fear on my own and no one could talk me into anything.I have learned that fear has robbed me of the past years that I could have spent having more time in the caribbean. I hope your sisters will come around. But only a non swimmer can understand a non swimmer.