Need cruise etiquette advice. Please Help

[ael123]

We bought two cabins for a 12 day Mediterraneon cruise. My husband and I were going to be in one cabin and our 30 year old daughter and a friend of mine in the other. Prior to booking the cruise my friend indicated that she wanted to join us as long as our daughter does not snore which she does not.

Problem: We are within 3 weeks of sailing and our daughter cannot go on the cruise due to issues surrounding her doctoral dissertation. The cruise insurance does not cover her reasoning for cancelling. We paid about $2000 for her air and cruise ticket. I asked my friend if she knew of anyone who wanted to take our daughter’s place and she did not. My mother enjoys traveling, would love to go on this cruise and is willing to go in place of our daughter but my mother is not sure if she snores and does not have anyone who lives with her who can listen for the night. If my mother does not take the space then we are out of the cost of the trip and my friend will have the cabin to herself. If my mother takes the cruise and she snores then we are putting my friend in a position she did not want to be in so that doesn’t seem right. However, my friend not willing to wear ear plugs if the snoring occurs seems rather rigid. Is it fair to ask the friend to split the cost of my daughter’s cruise portion if she wants to have the cabin to herself? Do we take my mother and see what happens or do we eat the cost of the trip?

Any solutions?

[Colorado Kat]

Take your mother with you. Your friend can take ear plugs.

 

Are the cabins close to one another? You might be able to sleep nights with your friend, and have your mother room with your husband, for nights only.

[jannandjohn]

You might be able to sleep nights with your friend, and have your mother room with your husband, for nights only.

well that sounds like fun....not;)

[uppitycats]

We bought two cabins for a 12 day Mediterraneon cruise. My husband and I were going to be in one cabin and our 30 year old daughter and a friend of mine in the other. Prior to booking the cruise my friend indicated that she wanted to join us as long as our daughter does not snore which she does not.

Problem: We are within 3 weeks of sailing and our daughter cannot go on the cruise due to issues surrounding her doctoral dissertation. The cruise insurance does not cover her reasoning for cancelling. We paid about $2000 for her air and cruise ticket. I asked my friend if she knew of anyone who wanted to take our daughter’s place and she did not. My mother enjoys traveling, would love to go on this cruise and is willing to go in place of our daughter but my mother is not sure if she snores and does not have anyone who lives with her who can listen for the night. If my mother does not take the space then we are out of the cost of the trip and my friend will have the cabin to herself. If my mother takes the cruise and she snores then we are putting my friend in a position she did not want to be in so that doesn’t seem right. However, my friend not willing to wear ear plugs if the snoring occurs seems rather rigid. Is it fair to ask the friend to split the cost of my daughter’s cruise portion if she wants to have the cabin to herself? Do we take my mother and see what happens or do we eat the cost of the trip?

Any solutions?

 

First, check with the cruise line to see if a substitute is even possible at this late date. If so, then

 

Go visit your mother, stay overnight. Listen to see if she snores..if not, there's your solution. If so...

 

well then, there is also your solution. Your friend cruises alone. I think it's too late to ask her to now come up with the $$ for the cabin. Perhaps she is rigid, but you knew that when the initial arrangements were made.

 

There is "cancel for any reason" trip insurance available, but it has to be bought early. Perhaps next time.

[operafan]

Take your mother and buy a box of "Breathe right" strips just in case she snores. As far as your friend being rigid.... Buy some earplugs too. Everyone has to bend a little sometimes but it wouldn't be right to ask her to pay for sailing alone in the cabin. That wasn't the deal and it's not her fault that your daughter had to cancel. BTW, have you asked if you can change the name on the air ticket??

[paul929207]

I don't think you will be able to change the name on the air tickets. Check with both the airline and cruise line to see if changes can be made this late.

[phish tales]

Take your mother with you. Your friend can take ear plugs.

 

Are the cabins close to one another? You might be able to sleep nights with your friend, and have your mother room with your husband, for nights only.

 

spend my vacation on a cruise all night with my mother in law !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

H**L NO

what ever made you come up with this idea?????????????????????????????

[johneeo]

Since you asked:

 

Is it fair to ask the friend to split the cost of my daughter’s cruise portion

 

No

 

Do we take my mother

 

No.

 

do we eat the cost of the trip?

 

Yes.

[Hlitner]

As had been posted, you need to check with the cruise line to find out if its possible to change the name on the cruise ticket (unlikely). As to the airline ticket, it is nearly impossible to change a name on an international airline ticket although it certainly does no harm to call the airline and ask the question?

 

Hank

[gord13]

We bought two cabins for a 12 day Mediterraneon cruise. My husband and I were going to be in one cabin and our 30 year old daughter and a friend of mine in the other. Prior to booking the cruise my friend indicated that she wanted to join us as long as our daughter does not snore which she does not.

Problem: We are within 3 weeks of sailing and our daughter cannot go on the cruise due to issues surrounding her doctoral dissertation. The cruise insurance does not cover her reasoning for cancelling. We paid about $2000 for her air and cruise ticket. I asked my friend if she knew of anyone who wanted to take our daughter’s place and she did not. My mother enjoys traveling, would love to go on this cruise and is willing to go in place of our daughter but my mother is not sure if she snores and does not have anyone who lives with her who can listen for the night. If my mother does not take the space then we are out of the cost of the trip and my friend will have the cabin to herself. If my mother takes the cruise and she snores then we are putting my friend in a position she did not want to be in so that doesn’t seem right. However, my friend not willing to wear ear plugs if the snoring occurs seems rather rigid. Is it fair to ask the friend to split the cost of my daughter’s cruise portion if she wants to have the cabin to herself? Do we take my mother and see what happens or do we eat the cost of the trip?

Any solutions?

 

Have her go into the shady part of town se a doctor give him a couple hundred dollars cash and have him write a doctors note for her with some air born disease.........lets say cholera or something like that, no way they will deny her cancellation. Do it a week before sailaway.

[BIG_Steve]

Have her go into the shady part of town se a doctor give him a couple hundred dollars cash and have him write a doctors note for her with some air born disease.........lets say cholera or something like that, no way they will deny her cancellation. Do it a week before sailaway.

 

 

Unless they contacted the ins provider already. Those folks log everything in case something like your scenario is played out.

 

We all have our quirks and pressure points. Lifelong friendships are not worth risking over such things. Sounds like your friend was upfront from the beginning about snoring. If so, you need to respect that. The best advice I've heard so far was to stay with mom and see if she snores. If she does, why would it be okay to ruin your husband's sleep? I got along fine with my MIL, but sleeping in the same cabin with her for a week would just seem "weird" to me. I wouldn't like it.

 

So, I'm saying if you can't take mom, you should eat the cost of half the cabin. If your friend has the $ it might be sporting of her to contribute, since she's being so unyielding. But I wouldn't ask her to, unless (perhaps) she didn't mention the snoring business until after you booked.

 

YMMV

[sail7seas]

Since you asked:

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ael123

Is it fair to ask the friend to split the cost of my daughter’s cruise portion

 

No

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ael123

Do we take my mother

 

No.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by ael123

do we eat the cost of the trip?

 

Yes.

 

[/Quote]

 

 

I agree with these responses.

You cannot ask your friend to pay any more money than she initially agreed to and you cannot ask her to be flexible in the snoring situation. She made it very clear that was an important point in her agreeing to cruise.

 

You cannot change the terms to suit your needs without honoring hers IMO

 

Like others above, I'm not sure the cruise line will permit it.

AND if they decide to add a 'single supplement' to your friend's cabin because your daughter isn't going, it would be your responisiblity to pay it. It isn't friend's fault she became a solo traveler in that cabin.

 

IMO......

[SciFiCruiser]

I think it depends on if your friend paid her portion of the cruise. If she was invited and you paid, she should graciously deal with the potential of your mother snoring and get over the earplug issue. If she did pay and you cannot guarantee you mom does not snore, they you should graciously accept you cannot invite your mother.

[Underwatr]

AND if they decide to add a 'single supplement' to your friend's cabin because your daughter isn't going, it would be your responisiblity to pay it. It isn't friend's fault she became a solo traveler in that cabin.

A single supplement would not be likely to be applied given that the fare for the daughter would already have been forfeited, would it?

[ael123]

Thank you for your comments. I appreciate the advice. The cruise company will allow the transfers but the airline will not. We most likely are not going to replace our daughter's spot. Since my friend did indicate that she did not want to be in the cabin with anyone who snores I will take the advice and go to my mom's and see if she snores. If she does then we will leave the cabin open. If she does not snore then we will arrange a meet and greet. My mother is very active, in good health and travels frequently. My friend is in her early 60's and my mom is 71 so we think if she doesn't snore it would be a good match.

[greatam]

A single supplement would not be likely to be applied given that the fare for the daughter would already have been forfeited, would it?

 

Yes, the cruise line can "refare" the entire cabin if they choose. Single supplement could apply IF you let them know in advance that someone is canceling. May be a little tacky, but I sure wouldn't let them know in advance. When you check in, just say the other person is on their way. If they miss the ship, oh well.

[bplazo]

I would not eat the cost of the cruise, so I would take the mother. If she snores and you lose a friend just find another friend :).

[sailinglisa]

Actually, your friend was very up front about the fact that she can't sleep with a snorer....and refuses to wear ear plugs. Since she was up front and honest with you from the beginning, I would not make her pay the difference. Your daughter canceled through no fault of your friend.

 

I have tried to wear ear plugs when trying to sleep about four times. Each time I had to take out the ear plugs because I got dizzy and felt like throwing up. Maybe I am a rare case, but I could not use the ear plugs and had several poor nights of sleep on one of my cruises because of noises in the pipes running by my cabin.

[griffy116]

Give your friend several glasses of wine before bedtime. While it won't cure your Mother's snoring (if she snores), the snoring won't wake your friend if she's had enough wine before bedtime (LOL). I wouldn't eat the cost of the cruise...sorry. This friend isn't being very flexible and you are trying to come up with a solution.

[wrp96]

I have tried to wear ear plugs when trying to sleep about four times. Each time I had to take out the ear plugs because I got dizzy and felt like throwing up. Maybe I am a rare case, but I could not use the ear plugs and had several poor nights of sleep on one of my cruises because of noises in the pipes running by my cabin.

 

 

No you are not alone. My cruise roommate cannot wear earplugs either - believe me she would if she could since I talk in my sleep and occasionally snore (when I'm sick). But she knew all this BEFORE we booked our first trip together. She would be right to be upset if I hadn't told her before we booked, asking someone to risk it after the fact would be inconsiderate.

[sail7seas]

I would not eat the cost of the cruise, so I would take the mother. If she snores and you lose a friend just find another friend :).

 

 

 

:eek: :eek:

 

 

 

Give your friend several glasses of wine before bedtime. While it won't cure your Mother's snoring (if she snores), the snoring won't wake your friend if she's had enough wine before bedtime (LOL). I wouldn't eat the cost of the cruise...sorry. This friend isn't being very flexible and you are trying to come up with a solution.

 

 

Why should the friend have to be flexible? She was direct and upfront right from the start. Clearly there was full understanding of her expectation. She isn't changing the 'terms'. The OP and her daughter changed the terms. It is their responsibility to meet any additional expenses.

 

This just seems so clear to me I'm having trouble understanding why anyone sees any responsibility owed by 'friend'.

 

[Liz54]

It seems to me that the daughter is the one who should be engaging in this discussion. She is 30 years old and this is her problem!

[beachchick]

It seems to me that the daughter is the one who should be engaging in this discussion. She is 30 years old and this is her problem!

 

Very good point.

 

:eek: :eek:

 

Why should the friend have to be flexible? She was direct and upfront right from the start. Clearly there was full understanding of her expectation. She isn't changing the 'terms'. The OP and her daughter changed the terms. It is their responsibility to meet any additional expenses.

 

This just seems so clear to me I'm having trouble understanding why anyone sees any responsibility owed by 'friend'.

 

Completely agree!

 

To go further, if the friend paid for her own fare and with the expectation of cruising in a cabin with their daughter, who she probably knows, shouldn't she have some say in who the replacement passenger is? I would not care to cruise in a small cruise cabin with someone I don't know well or who I had no say in choosing.

 

 

ael123:

 

I'm glad to read that there would at least be a "meet and greet" in advance, but that may not be enough for your friend to determine if she wants to spend a whole cruise with your mom as a roomie. It would be great if your mom doesn't snore and if she and the friend hit it off.

 

Have you asked your friend if there is someone she might like to ask about taking your daughter's place? That might be ideal. In that case, of course whoever the new passenger is must reimburse you the cost of the cruise fare and would have to arrange and pay for her own flights.

 

beachchick

[RoofingPrincess]

No you are not alone. My cruise roommate cannot wear earplugs either - believe me she would if she could since I talk in my sleep and occasionally snore (when I'm sick). But she knew all this BEFORE we booked our first trip together. She would be right to be upset if I hadn't told her before we booked, asking someone to risk it after the fact would be inconsiderate.

Ah, but what Wrona's NOT telling you is that SHE wears earplugs, so her talking doesn't wake her up! :D

I've found that a nice drink in the evening helps me sleep through most of Wrona's acoustic performances... :D

[packed&ready!]

I think all of you will be so tired from a port-intensive Med. cruise that everyone will be so exhausted they won't hear a thing! It is not the same as a Caribbean cruise. Why can't your friend take an over-the-counter sleeping pill. (antihistamine) She won't hear anything. I used to and my DH used to use breathe-right strips but that was only when we first started cruising.

 

Bon Voyage

 

P.S. I can hear through earplugs. Save your money.