Celebrity Cruisers don't like kids

[frostwalker]

This is one of those threads that I REALLY wish there was a "Like" button that I could click...so many posts that I agree with! :o

 

We have a well-mannered 4yo boy that we are very excited to take on our Alaska cruise in May. I have no doubt he will delight those around us with his manners MOST of the time, but if there should come a time when he is over-tired and it shows (meltdown), we definitely take action so as to not to disturb the other passengers.

 

However, if I see OTHER kids being unruly and their parents are doing nothing about it, I have no qualms about stepping in. In fact, here is an article I found about how best to go about it. (As for the "never touch", I did have to break that rule once when a bigger boy (by a few months to a year, I suspect) repeatedly pushed my DS down in the kiddie pool. DS was probably about 2 1/2 or 3 then. I bolted over and grabbed the kid, spoke sternly and moved him away from mine. There was not time to figure out who the horrid parent was, as no one seemed to be moving toward this beastly child, and I was not about to let it happen one more time!!! So anyway, I think that rule applies most of the time, except when it involves your own child being in danger.)

 

---

Here are some of my suggestions for effectively confronting parents on kids’ unruly public behavior:

 

1. Do you best to identify who is actually responsible for the child. If it’s not immediately clear, I may start with a question like:

 

· Excuse me, is this your daughter?

· Pardon me, are you the adult responsible for this child?

 

I really like this latter question because it subtly reminds the person they are an adult and that they are supposed to be in control of the free range child.

 

2. Describe the child’s behavior specifically. Instead of saying, "Your kid is a total brat!" or "What a terror! You should keep that thing on a leash!", use more neutral language. Phrases like “I noticed” or “I wanted to let you know that I saw….” are good sentence starters. Then describe what the unruly kid is actually doing: taking merchandise off the shelves, throwing food, screaming loudly, grabbing other people, etc. While the parents may still be offended by your comment, you’re putting it as objectively as possible:

 

· I noticed that your child is throwing shampoo bottles in the other aisle.

· I wanted to let you know that your children are persistently screaming very loudly.

· Excuse me… this boy is licking my leg! (this actually happened to me on the bus)

 

On some occasions, parents ARE aware of what’s happening, and they just don’t think anyone else has noticed. This step in confronting parents ensures that they know other people have noticed their kids’ unruly public behavior.

 

3. Help the parents connect their kids’ unruly public behavior with a negative effect on other people. This is the part that I think of as obvious, but parents of free range children need to be reminded of the connection. Again, be specific without being too accusatory. The parent will probably be embarrassed or angry enough at your approach anyway. Consider:

· Your child’s noise is disrupting dinner for those of us sitting near you.

· This boy is dismantling the store’s display and creating a messy aisle for other shoppers.

 

· I am really bothered that your child keeps touching me.

 

These statements are firm yet still phrased in a reasonably polite manner.

 

4. If appropriate, draw attention to a safety concern that may activate the parents’ protective mode. Sometimes, you can do this slyly and make it sound like your primary concern is for the child. And who knows? Maybe it is. For example, wet floors, escalators, hot coffee, and germs are all potential safety hazards that you can use. Try:

 

· I saw him running by the escalator and was concerned that he might fall.

· A lot of people have hot coffee on their tables and I wouldn’t want to see your child get burned.

· I just didn’t want to see anyone slip on the wet floor.

 

Try to sound sincere, even if your ire is provoked. Whether this step of confrontation is authentic or just a cover, appear as genuine as possible.

 

5. For your own safety, never touch someone else’s kid! If the child touches you, be careful not to push or interact with him or her in a threatening way. Remember that it’s the parents who are at fault for their lack of monitoring, and the child should not be punished (by you). I would personally never want to touch someone else’s screaming, sniffling free range child anyway, but I offer this reminder for those do-gooders who might try to lead an errant kid by the hand. Don’t do anything that could get misinterpreted as abduction, abuse, etc. Just direct your firm but polite comments to the parent. And in the case of safety hazards, remember that, legally, there is almost never a “duty to rescue” unless it is imposed by a natural or contractual relationship to the child (parent, nanny, teacher, etc.).

6. Give the parents of unruly kids the opportunity to correct a situation before you start into your schpiel. If a child is screaming loudly for only five seconds before a parent begins to discipline him or her for bad public behavior, then you don’t really need to confront. If I child picks up an shampoo bottle and starts throwing it, give the parents a few seconds to realize what is happening and put a stop to it. My personal “rule” for confronting parents involves waiting long enough to determine that they are either unaware of or unconcerned about their kids’ unruly behavior. Depending on the context, this can be 15 seconds or 3 minutes. Use your judgment. It’s only worth saying something if the free range children have truly been a legitimate disruption to you or others around you.

 

7. Remember the context. If you’re at Chuck E. Cheese or in the kiddie section of the library, you’ll have to put up with unruly kids because the setting is a child-centered one where some conventions of public behavior are bent in favour of kids. However, most retail stores, public transit, and other public spaces are not specially designated for kids. So feel free to confront parents about their free range children in those settings.

 

8. Don’t berate parents. The goal is to get the parent to recognize the problem and address it in a way consistent with their parenting style. You can’t control everything! Rather, you are confronting parents about an immediate situation that had a negative effect on you (and probably other people, too). Once the bad behavior has stopped, the incident is over as far as you’re concerned.

 

9. Say thank you. If the parent addresses the problem (or at least tries to), a quick “Thanks” or “I really appreciate it” is recommended as a polite gesture of incident closure.

 

10. Lastly, I must note that this “free range children” phenomenon cuts across all racial, gender, and socioeconomic divisions. If you’re confronting parents on kids’ unruly public behavior, you should be “equal opportunity” about it. Don’t let racial discomfort, for example, stop you from confronting parents. On the flip side, don’t single people out based on perceived social characteristics that are unrelated to the behavior. A misbehaving child is a misbehaving child.

 

I recognize that my stance is controversial, but I hope it encourages people to assert their own rights in public when it comes to free range children who are truly out of line. Chances are that you will be saying what everyone else is thinking, and it can be oddly gratifying to know you were gutsy yet tactful enough to confront parents in an appropriate way. As to why this poor parenting happens in the first place…well…that’s a whole different conversation.

[brazilgirl]

My kids are not straight A students , nor are they perfect angels.

 

However , they do not throw feces , nor do they run around knocking at people´s doors at 3 a.m.

 

Guess they are a happy medium....

 

Frostwalker-

 

Excellent post and wonderful guidelines.

 

Kim

[frostwalker]

we often wondered if they were impressed or surprised that these Black children were so well spoken and well mannered. But, now I see that people are surprised when children in general are well behaved.

 

 

Absolutely nothing to do with skin, gelo7. :) We get told often about how well mannered our little guy is...I never get tired of hearing it! :D And I'm positive it only has to do with admiration for our lovely children (and our parenting).

 

Have a fabulous time! Oh and since you're a large, muscular, bald black guy, have LOTS of fun setting the parents of the unruly kids STRAIGHT! :cool: :eek::eek: lol

[PS90]

Personally, I would much rather be on a cruise with a bunch of kids than a bunch of stuffy, snobby adults who think that they are the only ones who actually paid money for the cruise.

 

I sail on X for the more "classy" atmosphere as compared to, say, Carnival - but not because it means that less kids will be on-board. I have seen kids make scenes on every cruiseline, and I have seen adults makes scenes on every cruiseline. The difference is that the kids will (hopefully) mature as they get older, while the adults are "stuck in their ways" and probably hopeless ;).

 

Have a great cruise, gelo!

[agabbymama]

I think it would depend on where/when you are going. We did Celebrity Constellation to New England/Canada (12 night cruise end of Sept) for fall foliage.

 

There were exactly 3 children on that cruise. I know because we went to the Kids Activity Room one day by mistake. Started chatting with the person working there and those were the numbers she said were on the manifest. So she said she really wasn't very busy.

 

But there are a great many people that have raised their children, and grandchildren, that really don't want to vacation with families. Celebrity and HAL seem to be geared more toward these elderly passengers. Lots of walkers, wheelchairs and motorized chairs on both. That's not to say we hate kids, just don't want to be inundated with them (as on Carnival, RCCL) while trying to have a relaxing vacation. Nor have them crying non-stop from Los Angeles to Paris in the airplane with us. JMO

[Tiggertastic]

First cruise had 500 kids on board, we only ever saw 4. The kids club was amazing, they even had their own excursions. I had to remind my child he was on a family break

 

We take our own son with us on most cruises but he is 18 this time and has had his last chance in the teen club now. But it won't stop him going on the trip.

 

Celebrity has a great kids club and yours will love it

 

And for those that don't like kids on board, don't book in school holidays or don't book

 

I personally find the kids often make the cruise, they have a fantastic time. We would not have missed seeing all the little ones get their christmas gift from santa on christmas day or see them do their carol concert on christmas eve

[Waterlily777]

It seems that the majority of children I see in public lately have been poorly behaved. Whether it's children being allowed to tantrum in airports or being rowdy in restaurants, parenting seems to be a lost art. On our last vacation, we were waiting for our plane and watched as a mother gave into a tantrum and fed her child candy before our red-eye boarded. That being said, we've sailed on Celebrity 4 times in the past and I couldn't tell you if there were a lot of children on board. Not because there are no children, but because their behavior doesn't draw attention. We do tend to sail in non child friendly times, but that's not it. People who sail on Celebrity and bring children seem to expect their children to behave and the children respond.

 

That has been our experience also.

[cdbaum]

My six year old daughter loves the Celebrity youth programs, in fact she prefers it to Disney, because of the fewer number of kids and less structured program. (She isn't crazy about the boot camp feel of Disney... not their fault, but with that many kids you need to stick to the plan. OK everyone it's 3:00, line up for face painting) Since she is elite on X I would guess that some of you have even been on a ship with her but probably never knew it. She understands that it is a something special and that if she acts up I will very quickly remove her from the dining room, pool, whatever and she will get to spend some quality time with dad in the room instead of playing with the other kids. Also, if the kids are in the kids area most of the time, like her, then they just aren't around.

 

The kids aren't the problem folks, they are just reflections of the parents. I could frequently pick out which parents will pick up which kids prior to having seen them together. Funny how the dad with the hamburger in the jacuzzi has the child cutting in front of people in the line for ice cream. Rules are for other people after all.

 

The good news is that this is the exception not the rule for the handful of kids that are typically on board.

[Goldeneye]

The reason I switched to Celebrity was for less unruly kids... I don't mean the hopes of no kids, but I feel that bad behaviour stands out more and therefor is less acceptable.

 

Some will find my post offensive as there kids are well behaved, but this often seem to happen at dinner when I'm sitting near children. Now I would speak up but in the past I've smiled and sucked it up..

We chose the late seating on RCCL believing that their would be fewer kids how wrong we were!!

The table next to us had 2 kids, between courses the kids got up and basically ran around their table playing while the adults continued to chat oblivious.. We all know how closely packed tables are, a little less so for us on this occasion as we were near one of the serving stations.. After being bumped a couple of times by these children I gave the other a table 'a pleading look' you know that get your kids under control kinda one....the mother just looked back blankly and carried on chatting to her friends..

Formal night: The waiter carrying a tray of food was bumped into by them I just saw out of the corner of my eye as the tray swung around over my head, his hand just barely touching the top of it..somehow he managed to swing around and keep his balance, if he hadn't been so agile the tray would have ended up over me. He just laughed it off, the kids would often target his legs and hug them as he tried to serve guests food, he was clearly uncomfortable but in no position to repremand them, hoping perhaps the parents would do some errrr 'parenting' I glanced at the mother she saw it all and said nothing to the kids or to me..

Later I was being served wine the sommelier ended up spilling red wine down my evening gown due to these two little brats and their running into waiters and leg hugging fettish.. Guess what ...the mother said nothing did nothing yet saw the whole incident..

Now Older and wiser I would definitely say something..

Not the point but as luck would have it the main part of my gown was black velvet so no stain showed up.. I guess I should have insisted that the ship pay for cleaning....They really need to implement rules of conduct for children at dinner. Yes I know most DON'T require them but they need to be in place for the unruly one .. The ones with parents with the mentality of 'my kids are just expressing themselves'

[cdbaum]

The children were a problem because the parents were a problem. Not that it would help in your case but any child in my care that acted like that would not be seen in the dining room again. I think that being allowed to have children should require more qualifications than just being able to reproduce.

 

Amazing how once the child knows the consequences that things change.

[Goldeneye]

:eek::eek::eek: Please excuse my typo's .. I seem to have my 'their' and 'there' all muddled up ( I'm puting this down to my headache)

It's too late to go back and edit!!

My dear late mother will be turning in her grave!!

[gelo7]

Have a fabulous time! Oh and since you're a large, muscular, bald black guy, have LOTS of fun setting the parents of the unruly kids STRAIGHT! :cool: :eek::eek: lolWhen kids around me get crazy, I just give them the look and they straighten up. My "physicality", as my wife likes to say, comes in handy:rolleyes: And thanks, we always have a blast.

[Us Two]

We were on the EQuinox in Dec and had freinds that were on the same cruise. They were travelling with their 2yr old and had a few people say rude remarks to them about travelling with a child on the ship.

When getting on to an elevator that had only 3 people on it,one women said "Oh no not on this elavator'. She stepped off feeling quite

hurt and upset. This child is VERY well behaved. She said she understands that many people don't like to have kids on a cruise for one reason or another, but please , consider others feelings!

[PS90]

We were on the EQuinox in Dec and had freinds that were on the same cruise. They were travelling with their 2yr old and had a few people say rude remarks to them about travelling with a child on the ship.

When getting on to an elevator that had only 3 people on it,one women said "Oh no not on this elavator'. She stepped off feeling quite

hurt and upset. This child is VERY well behaved. She said she understands that many people don't like to have kids on a cruise for one reason or another, but please , consider others feelings!

 

I really don't mean to sound "high-and-mighty", or to insult your friend and her kid - but why the $%@ would your friend care what some snobby, cranky old lady told her???

 

Had that happened to me, my DD and I would have purposefully gotten into that elevator and maybe even followed her around for a while just to torture her.

 

If your child is indeed being unruly, then her comment may have been reasonable, but if not, then nobody has the right to intimidate you unless you let them.

[djmutters]

Skin colour does not even cross my mind and being a gay couple I would never think of placing people in boxes lifes to short :)

 

Hope you have a great holiday and the children behave :p

 

And if I may be my bold and outspoken self, we often wondered if they were impressed or surprised that these Black children were so well spoken and well mannered. But, now I see that people are surprised when children in general are well behaved.

[cruisecrasy]

Kids are not the problem, zygote producers are (I suppose that using Parents is actually too kind to them) (Like Dr. Laura and the term "Sperm Donor" for unconcerned fathers. There really ain't one for unconcerned mothers)

 

So bring your kids, but remember they are in public and should behave!!!

 

As far as no name for unconcerned mothers - they cld be called 'egg suppliers' :D

 

I so agree - kids are great when behaving themselves which means they have disiplined, socially responsible parents. Most are - its just the few that spoil it for everyone as par usual!

Now if the cruiselines wld start catering to the majority and 'disipline' the parents along with their offspring when they do misbehave instead of ignoring it - sort of like not enforcing their rules/suggestions either..

Have never figured out how ignoring it all improves cruising for anyone and may just encourage repeat cruisers to try other cruiselines when encountering bad behavior...or those flagrantly ignoring rules/suggestions?

Why wld they want those types on their ships anyway? :/

 

Have great cruisin' all! :)

[cruisecrasy]

We have been on 3 Celebrity Cruises in the last few years with our small boys. (Now ages 4 & 6). The adult atmophere really brings out their best behavior, and earns the respect of fellow passengers. I am continually impressed at how they "sense" it is a special and fancy place and turn on their best etiquette.

 

They also really enjoy wearing the tuxes and suits, and I can't tell you how many other cruisers said they looked foward to seeing their outfits each day and watching their proper behavior during dinner in the MDR. It really means a lot to hear this from people. Since there typically not a tons of kids on board, we felt our children were treated exceptionally by other passengers and staff. Also, a lot of people get to know them on the ship, so it if fun for them.

 

I think you and your family will enjoy Celebrity quite a bit. It's not a "go wild, crazy environment", but it is fun and fancy....and that's how we went about it with our kids.

 

Aren't the children a delight - I have such fun watching them practicing to become grownup like Mommie & Daddy - just wonderful and then there are the others :/ 'nuff said about them & their parents.

 

As for yourself and your family, your children are a credit to you and your spouse - I wld sail with u all anytime and wish I cld..you sound like a delightful person with your attitude!

 

Have great cruisin'! :)

[SI Cruiser]

If I want to take my grandchildren then I would consider Disney (Mickey) or Royal (Shrek).

 

If I want to spend time with just mature adults then I will book Celebrity.

[dzcruisers]

We took our grandchildren on a couple of X cruises and they and we enjoyed it. They are well behaved, were supervised, and everyone complimented them. I think it has to do with the children and what they are allowed to do.

[Denny01]

If I wanted to cruise with walking, talking stuffed animals, and enjoy my granddaughter, I'd cruise on Disney. If I want to cruise with other adults and enjoy my granddaughter, I'll cruise Celebrity.

 

Boy, what to do.

 

Den

[Bridge Maven]

I currently have a Celebrity cruise booked with my husband and another couple, but for our three generation cruise with our daughter's family we are taking a Disney Cruise. This will be our first Disney cruise but, based on what I have heard from friends and relatives who have been on a Disney cruise, it is the best option for three generation cruises. Not only is it a good cruise line for children but Disney has excellent food and service in their main dining room, while their adults only Italian and French restaurants are considered to be the best at sea. The ship also has a number of other adult only venues, such as a pool and lounge, and Disney is very strict about enforcing its adult only areas.

 

My daughter, who has sailed on Holland America, NCL, Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Disney feels that Disney is by far the best cruise line she has ever been on.

[cdbaum]

While Disney may be a good fit for multi generational cruising don't expect it to be Celebrity. The food and service were OK but not on par with X. I don't know if I could put my finger on it but the dining rooms just felt cluttered and rushed. The buffet was a definite step down to the point where we just avoided it. Don't get the idea that things were terrible. It just didn't feel as relaxed and the service wasn't quite as refined. They do a good job but it's probably just that they are dealing with a lot more kids and things are geared toward them.

 

One other thing that you don't hear about is how frequently they close the kids pool because of "accidents". On our last Disney cruise the pool was closed once or twice a day for sanitizing. Not the end of the world but it always seemed to be when my daughter wanted to go to the pool. Our joke was that the life guards aren't watching the kids, they're looking for floaters.

 

I won't even get into the price premium for Disney compared to X other than to say that we can get 7 days on X for the price of 4 on Disney.

 

As long as Celebrity allows children on board then you should expect to see (well behaved?) children on the ship. When they start marketing adult only cruises then people will complain that thay can't take the kids.

 

If you look at river cruises they don't prohibit kids but they clearly mention that they don't cater to them and that kids will probably be bored. I bet they still have kids on board.

[luvtocook]

We had the same situation as mentioned above by another poster. Late seating on a 12 night cruise NOT during a school holiday. On Celebrity Constellation. There was a European family with 4 young children who dined during late seating. They all wore jeans every night, even on formal night (yes, another thread) and they let their kids run wild all over, bumping into all kinds of people, tray stands, etc. We were seated quite a few tables away, luckily, but their behavior REALLY ruined our dinner experience and their parents were completely unaware and were drinking & talking very loudly--don't know what the language was to be honest, but that is the only time I have seen disruptive kids on a cruise. Again, it was the PARENTS fault!!!

I love seeing the young children all "gussied" up on formal nights and especially the young girls all decked out like Prom night, too cute.

[Bridge Maven]

While Disney may be a good fit for multi generational cruising don't expect it to be Celebrity. The food and service were OK but not on par with X. I don't know if I could put my finger on it but the dining rooms just felt cluttered and rushed. The buffet was a definite step down to the point where we just avoided it. Don't get the idea that things were terrible. It just didn't feel as relaxed and the service wasn't quite as refined. They do a good job but it's probably just that they are dealing with a lot more kids and things are geared toward them.

 

One other thing that you don't hear about is how frequently they close the kids pool because of "accidents". On our last Disney cruise the pool was closed once or twice a day for sanitizing. Not the end of the world but it always seemed to be when my daughter wanted to go to the pool. Our joke was that the life guards aren't watching the kids, they're looking for floaters.

 

I won't even get into the price premium for Disney compared to X other than to say that we can get 7 days on X for the price of 4 on Disney.

 

As long as Celebrity allows children on board then you should expect to see (well behaved?) children on the ship. When they start marketing adult only cruises then people will complain that thay can't take the kids.

 

If you look at river cruises they don't prohibit kids but they clearly mention that they don't cater to them and that kids will probably be bored. I bet they still have kids on board.

 

cdbaum, thanks for sharing your opinions about Celebrity vs Disney. Even though we are elite members of Celebrity's Captain club, we started sailing Celebrity when our daughter was in college so she was not considering Celebrity in her comparison. However, she and her husband both thought that Disney had much better food and service than Holland America, as well as the other cruise lines they have been on.

 

I agree with you that Disney is significantly more expensive than Celebrity. We are paying approximately the same for a 12 night cruise on Celebrity Silhouette as we are for a 5 night cruise on Disney Dream. However, with the exception of our Baltic Cruise to Russia on Constellation, almost all of our cruises on other mass market cruise lines have cost more than our Celebrity cruises, so I agree that Celebrity is probably the best value at sea.

[PS90]

If I wanted to cruise with walking, talking stuffed animals, and enjoy my granddaughter, I'd cruise on Disney. If I want to cruise with other adults and enjoy my granddaughter, I'll cruise Celebrity.

 

Boy, what to do.

 

Den

 

Well said, Denny.

 

To me, and it may sound selfish, but if I want to do a vacation for my kids, then I go on RCI or Disney. But if I want a vacation for my wife and me, and the kids just happen to come along, then I go on X. My brats still have fun, but X is more than just a floating amusement park.

 

That said, we do realize that people are going to be less tolerant of screaming kids on X, so that must be taken into account.

 

Although some of the posts above make me think that some people believe that X is (or should be) completely child-free...