What would you do?

[Beeeeeford]

If you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) Would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt Mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or Grandma that was close to you.

[Zigggypup]

If you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) Would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt Mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or Grandma that was close to you.

 

I think it all depends on the relationship. I have cousins that I have not seen in 30 years. If it were someone that was close to my heart, I would consider flying home. But if you can still make the funeral and finish out the cruise, well that might be a reason to stay on board. I have a sneaky suspicion that you already know what you want to do.

[baggal]

This is such a personal question with so many variables. There's not one right answer.

[Paulxyz2004]

I´ve been on a cruise when my grandmother died. My mother (it was her mom) simply didn´t tell me about it at all and the funeral was scheduled for after my return.

While I sort of knew what might have happened from the Messages I got from my Mom (reading between the lines in what she not said), I didn´t ask and she didn´t tell.

I was fine with what she did in not telling me. After all there´s nothing I could have done, so why ruin the rest of the trip and add expenses and stress to return early.

Many will disagree here with me and there´s no right or wrong and it´s the decision of each individual what to do.

[hazeleyez3]

If you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) Would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt Mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or Grandma that was close to you.

 

I'd leave as soon as I could. Family is the most important thing to me, and I am very fortunate that we are a close knit bunch. The last few days wouldn't even be enjoyable.

[DM_KidAtHeart]

I'd stay on the cruise. My mom and I talked about this the other day. If there were to be some kind of freak accident and she died, wouldn't she still want me to go on the cruise. She confirmed she did (although I'm supposed to also take some ashes to scatter). But I do think this depends on your family. My extended family wouldn't think much of it, but I don't really care what they think. I'd know it's what my mom or dad would want and that is all that matters to me. So I think one has to decide for one's self whether what others think of your choice will matter to you, because it's almost certain that some will not approve.

[Beeeeeford]

Just curious as my husband and I have discussed this since some family members are getting older. I had an experience (while not on a cruise) where my Uncle died in the middle of winter. My husband was out of town on business and I was home with two children. We live four hours away from our family and a horrible snowstorm was headed our way the day of the funeral. I told my Mother that I couldn't risk the drive considering the storm coming. Boy, did I get a tongue lashing (how dare I not show up to support the family). I told her the safety of my children was more important and my Uncle would have certainly understood that. Well, there were several fatal accidents on the interstate which I would have traveled to make it to the funeral. I know I made the right decision. My Mother and MIL would certainly not understand us not leaving a cruise no matter who the family member was, even it was a cousin we hadn't seen in years. I, however, don't care what others think.

[Kamloops50]

If you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) Would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt Mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or Grandma that was close to you.

 

It would depend how easy it is fly home . Most of our cruises require at least a day of traveling.

[ctcruiser1721]

I think I would finish out the cruise unless it were my very immediate family member that had passed.

[DonnaK]

I would finish out the cruise.

[WetToes]

I also think I'd finish out the cruise. They're gone. Me coming back won't change that.

Besides the deceased, I would also think about those I'm cruising with. Why ruin it for them?

If I were the one at home, I wouldn't even inform the one's on vacation what had happened till they returned home.

My thoughts ... yours may be different, and that's okay.

[Garn]

I agree, the circumstances and relationship are all-important, as are the logistics. We recently lost an very elderly, widowed relative with dementia. If it had happened while we were ok, I'd probably finish the cruise if we'd be back in time for the funeral (and weren't leaving someone else with a ton of arrangements to make). If, god forbid, one of my young nephews or nieces passed away, we'd do whatever it took to get home ASAP- we'd be devastated and would want to go to support our family.

 

For cases in between, I think it depends on where you are, how long it would take you to get there, and how much it would cost. I'd be hard pressed to spend $1000 to take a flight with 3 connections and spending 2 days traveling to get in a day earlier. But a direct flight for $400 to get in 3 days sooner might be worth it.

[MommaBear55]

My mother died unexpectedly while we were at Disney one year. We couldn't get flights out for 36 hours. The kids were young so my husband took them to the magic Kingdom the first day so I could cry and the second day we all went. I felt very awkward about it and numb. I couldn't have done anything for my mother but I would rather have been with my sister and helped with the arrangements.I would not have felt that way had it been extended family.

[gerif]

If the person were that close, surely they could hold the services after you returned home. After all, the person is gone and there's nothing you can really do for them. When my elderly aunt passed away, her widowed DIL with whom she was very close had just embarked on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to her native Ireland. It was decided that she should be allowed to continue her trip and not be told until her return. I think the right decision was made.

[akcruz]

I agree with others, depends on who it was, how close I was to them, as well as how close I was to those close to them. If my support was needed in any way I would be off the ship in a heartbeat. If it was a more distant relative I would finish the cruise.

 

Also depends on if I could get home any faster by leaving the ship immediately than finishing up the cruise and completing my already booked travel plans. If I had to change planes, drive, take a train, etc and would only be home 12 hours earlier, I wouldn't do it.

[celebrity]

Too many variables to make a statement. I will share with you a decision my family made many years ago.

Our beloved aunt, never married and was devoted to all of her nieces and nephews. She was certainly a 2nd mother to each of us. She passed away rather suddenly while my cousin was in Spain. Since we knew she was heading home the day after she passed away, we elected not to tell her until she arrived at JFK. While it was a real shock, we felt it was better to tell her after she arrived as there was nothing she could do while in Spain. The rest of the family made the funeral arrangements so she wouldn't be overwhelmed upon return.

My own family knows not to tell me anything negative that I cannot control when I am on a cruise unless it is an immediate family member.

I hope this doesn't come across as being cold or insensitive but if someone has passed, why ruin the trip for someone when they are unable to address the immediate needs.

The reality of the loss of a loved one is that family needs you more after the funeral for support than in the hours or days following that death.

[celebrity]

My mother died unexpectedly while we were at Disney one year. We couldn't get flights out for 36 hours. The kids were young so my husband took them to the magic Kingdom the first day so I could cry and the second day we all went. I felt very awkward about it and numb. I couldn't have done anything for my mother but I would rather have been with my sister and helped with the arrangements.I would not have felt that way had it been extended family.

 

I am sorry for your loss.

[Langley Cruisers]

MommaBear, so sorry for your loss. :(

[macruisefan]

if you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or grandma that was close to you.

 

irish wake in the viking crown lounge!!

[varoo]

This is such a personal question with so many variables. There's not one right answer.

I totally agree with baggal.

 

From my point of view, it is too late to do anything for the person who is dead.

 

So I would consider whether or not my presence would be of comfort to other family members.

 

When I have experienced deaths of close members of my own family, I could not have cared less whether or not aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors and such attended the funeral.

 

Their presence or absence did not make my grieving any less or any easier to bear.

 

There are some people who will always show up out of a feeling of "duty" and while I appreciate their good intentions, it makes no difference to me whether or not they are there.

Now that I think about it, I realize that I would really rather be left alone with those closest to me and not deal with needing to thank all the others for coming.

 

If I knew they were on a cruise or other vacation, I would not spoil their vacation by telling them about the death but would wait until after they returned.

 

[FLACRUISER99]

If you were on a cruise and had only 2 or 3 days left on your itinerary, what would you do if you got word that a family member has passed away? Would you finish out the cruise or fly back from the current port? (you would still make the funeral if you finished the cruise) Would it matter your relationship to the individual, ie. Aunt Mary who you hadn't seen in awhile or Grandma that was close to you.

I would finish the cruise..

[Lessa123]

I had the opposite issue. One week prior to our first cruise with my husband's family I received a call from my Dad saying my only brother had passed unexpectedly. We weren't really sure if we were going to make the cruise and that added a ton more stress to a horrible time.

 

We made the 10 hour drive home and Dad and I made the arrangements. After the funeral, we were headed home with 2 days to spare and realized that I forgot my husband's only suit at my Dad's. Turn around, drive the 3 hours back, get the suit and drive the 10 hours home.

 

We made it and I ironed and packed my fool head off but we made the cruise and it was a good distraction.

 

I do know my answer to the original question because of this. If it were someone I was close to (or someone whose loss would devastate someone I loved), I would move heaven and earth to get home to support my family! Being 10 hours (and a country...I live in Canada now, my family is all in the States) away, I don't go for funerals of distant relatives/casual friends anway, so I wouldn't end my vacation early.

 

Debbie

[CAT GIRL]

I am going with the sentiments of the majority here. This issue

has been discussed at length with my family and fortunately we

know what the expectations are. I have 5 siblings and at any

given time one of us is out of the country. We are not to alter

any travel plans be it work or vacation to accomodate the death

of our parents. When my father died, I had a trip to Aruba booked.

We planned the funeral arrangements so I could still go. I buried

my father one day and was in Aruba the next. Did I feel bad?

No, but I felt a little guilty that I wasn't there to help with things

while family was still there. But, I knew that he wouldn't want

me to change my plans.

Now the real question for me would be will I alter plans if my Mom

suddenly turns ill before a trip. My Mom would never want me to

cancel plans but it will be a tough call for me. I am fortunate to

know what her wishes are.

[powelweb]

I've always been close with my extended family, and have grown even moreso after my parents both passed in the last 10 years. I keep in touch with my aunts and uncles from my mom's and dad's sides throughout the year, as they were the first sibling to pass in family so I tend to represent them at various family traditions now.

 

If we were on a cruise, I would expect to be contacted with the news, and it would then be up to us to determine the logistics (when are the arrangements, where is the ship and how close is the closest airport, how long would the flight be, how many days remaining on the trip, etc).

 

We buy insurance not only for medical evacuation purposes, but also in case anything happens to our extended family and we want the option to return home (understanding that aunts and uncles may not always be covered- read the policy carefully).

[bythesea]

I just had this conversation with my mother about one hour ago. She is 85 and not in the best of health. She is so happy we are going on this cruise, my parents cruised quite a bit when they lived in Florida. Since my dad is no longer here, she basically lives through us. She says go, go go!!! I call her every day, go there almost every day to help take care of her. I told her no funny stuff when we leave. She needs to stay healthy for one week. If not we will put her on ice for a week. Of course this is a joke, so don't get nasty on me. She laughed and said she would try her best to stay healthy till I get back. Oasis here we come!!!