traveling with another couple

[sail7seas]

You are fortunate to have such considerate friends - and going with someone you know and are comfortable with seems a good way to "get back in the water"

 

Later cruises, alone or with friends can be decided as time passes. I went through a comparable return to cruising - the only suggestion I would volunteer concerning your first solo cruise (if you do take one) would be to make it a short itinerary to see how it goes.

 

 

 

Thanks for your good advice, navybankerteacher.

I am very fortunate our friends really are 'friends'. They have been so wonderful helping me along.

 

The cruise I likely will go with them is 7 days which DH and I rarely did but I think it best for my first. I think you're right about a solo cruise being short also if I ever do decide to cruise alone.

I hope your transition has gone as well as possible. For most of us, it is so difficult. All best wishes.

[ger_77]

We have cruised by ourselves, and have also been the organizers for a group of 12 - and we still absolutely love all those who were with us. The reason for that is we billed the cruise as "Nobody's Joined At The Hip" - we enjoy personal time and space, and we are not there to ensure anyone's enjoyment as we are also on a vacation. We told our friends and family that we plan on having a pre-dinner cocktail at a particular bar and if they wish to join us, they would be welcome and we would enjoy having dinner together if they wanted. Those who wanted to join us showed up, others went their own way.

 

I believe you will have a good time if you lay out the ground rules in advance, giving them as much advice as you can about shipboard life, and showing them how to access Cruise Critic.

 

Please come back and let us know how it turns out - and enjoy yourself, it's your cruise too!

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[Algebralovr]

We have cruised with friends and family. With the friends, we did our own thing during the day, and ate dinner together most evenings. A few times, they had other things they wanted to do, and we ate independently.

 

We also cruised with family, my mom, sister, and our two young adult kids. I arranged a number of excursions, after checking to see who was interested in going. Mom always went with us, sis and kids only part of the time. Mom seemed to hover, which we need to figure out how to handle before the holiday one next year.

[donaldsc]

Don's Rules for Traveling w Friends

 

1) We tell them what we are planning to do during the day. They are welcome to do the same thing if they wish but they do not have to.

 

2) If we want to wander off during the day from our preplanned activity even if we started out w them, we wander off.

 

3) We do not eat breakfast or lunch with them unless we happen to be in the dining room at the same time.

 

4) I do private tours many times. They are welcome to share with us but they have to understand the it is Don's tour and while we will try to accommodate them during the day, it is Don's tour. Also, either Don or Carole (my wife) get the comfortable seat next to the driver.

 

5) We try to get together for dinner but it will not happen every night.

 

6) I will sometimes have dinner with just my wife instead of with the group. I will not be insulted if one of the group wants to have dinner with their spouse alone.

 

Basically, the idea is that you may be on the same ship and you may do some things together but you are not tied together w a leash. BTW - I would never ever in a million years agree to share a cabin w a friend.

 

DON

Edited September 8, 2014 by donaldsc

[CPT Trips]

I think the most important thing is not to try to do everything together....especially for 3 weeks. That can ruin a friendship quickly even though you've been friends for awhile.

 

Yep! We cruised a couple of times with friends that we don't see often enough . . . didn't see too much of each other during the cruise. :D It wasn't 3 weeks, but repos, so well more than a week.

 

We picked a bar, met for drinks before dinner, or show depending on which came first with late dinner. Then did evening activities together . . . Deciding independently when to call it a night.

 

We ran into each other during the day, never at breakfast and seldom for lunch. We each ran into other cruisers that we socialized with. We talk politics and "old times" when we get together so dinner and cocktail hour with others would have been awkward. We were fortunate to get assigned a 4 top . . .

 

Fond memories that, sadly, we won't repeat with them.

[Markanddonna]

All good words of advice. I've already explained to them "how we roll". My DH and I don't do much together during the day but we usually eat our meals together and usually do the evenings together, so I want and am used to freedom and flexibility.

 

I don't mind guiding them the first full day at sea but after that, they are on their own and I imagine we will try to eat most dinners with them. I also tend to come onboard with "new friends" from Cruise Critic roll calls, so I will have other social commitments.

 

I think my activity level is vastly higher than the other wife and I have an eye light sensitivity so don't like laying in the sun while she does. I walk the decks and use the gym religiously. I think we have good reasons to not hang with each other during the day and we know each other very well, so this won't be a shock.

 

I like the five minute rule but may make that a ten minute rule...

 

I'm going into this cruise as a realist but will try very hard to stay positive and kind with setting some reasonable boundaries.

 

Good advice! Thanks to all. Any more good words?

[Sunflower&Scientist]

We cruise with another couple we met on a conference cruise which was has been great since we began with a common interest. The greatest advice you've seen from posters is to not be joined at the hip. Go on different excursions, unless you both want the same one of course. Eat breakfast and lunch alone, maybe with occasional lunches together. What we've continued to do to make dinner fun came from something they had us do on the conference cruise. They provided 2 or 3 questions at our table each evening that we each answered. It turned out to be lots of fun. Now we make a list of our own questions and bring them with us for dinner time conversation. Of course the questions stay away from hot topics you really should not discuss, and are more like, "If you could be anyone from history, who would you be," or "What was your first pet?" We ended up having some fun conversations over the questions, which initially cemented our friendship. Of course there's always a review of interesting things during the day by each couple.

 

Less togetherness, is better than too much togetherness!!! Come up with ground rules, like balcony/room time is down time for each couple. Don't expect to come chat with us on our balcony!

[sail7seas]

[

Don's Rules for Traveling w Friends

 

1) We tell them what we are planning to do during the day. They are welcome to do the same thing if they wish but they do not have to.

 

2) If we want to wander off during the day from our preplanned activity even if we started out w them, we wander off.

 

3) We do not eat breakfast or lunch with them unless we happen to be in the dining room at the same time.

 

4) I do private tours many times. They are welcome to share with us but they have to understand the it is Don's tour and while we will try to accommodate them during the day, it is Don's tour. Also, either Don or Carole (my wife) get the comfortable seat next to the driver.

 

5) We try to get together for dinner but it will not happen every night.

 

6) I will sometimes have dinner with just my wife instead of with the group. I will not be insulted if one of the group wants to have dinner with their spouse alone.

 

Basically, the idea is that you may be on the same ship and you may do some things together but you are not tied together w a leash. BTW - I would never ever in a million years agree to share a cabin w a friend.

 

DON

 

 

 

:D Do you travel with friends or family often or try hard to not? :) :D

 

 

We have found it more enjoyable at dinner if your friends have done different things than us during the day. We enjoy hearing what they did, who they met, what they saw and enjoy sharing our day with our friends. Sure, sometimes we choose to all do the same thing but definitely not every day.

 

[Athankfulheart]

We cruised with another couple and had a really nice time. We were seasoned and they were new cruisers but we prepared them well ahead of time. We also talked ahead of time about " wanting them to have lots of time together for just them as a couple" and how we enjoy the same on a cruise. We planned dinner together nightly but bowed out of one night to lay in hammocks alone. That was one of the formal nights. We figured they needed a romantic dinner alone and we needed hammock time ;) We did 2 excursions together out of 4 ports and shopped together at another and then we boarded to hit the spa ( we had passes but they didn't) and they finished shopping alone. It was a very nice balance and they didn't feel like they were "out on their own" for their first cruise.

 

On the other hand, we have also cruised with a group of several families and singles. I will be MUCH more choosey about who I cruise in a group with in the future.

[AlwaysReadyToSail]

It sounds a little overkill, but I've found one of the best ways to make sure everyone has similar expectations is to set a meeting to discuss the cruise.

 

I'm a planner, so I like to research all of my ports ahead of time. Generally I'll present what the options are for out port days and we will plan ahead of time which days we will share tours, which days are on our own etc. we always plan a few days on our own. (this is also good for days where possibly husbands are interested in other things than the wives. Once the men went in a godfather tour in Sicily while the women made it a shopping day...everyone was happy). Some days we may have left TBD, but at least everyone had a chance to voice what their primary interests were.

 

Once we had a general plan for port days we decided when to meet on those days, where, and how payment was to be given (we mainly did private tours). We had a general "let's meet for dinner" every night unless we informed the other party that we wouldn't be attending. We always got breakfast on our own, and generally did ship activities alone. We would look over the next days activities and discuss anything we may want to do as a group then. We made it clear ahead of time that we needed alone time, and they would probably enjoy it too. We let them ask as many questions as they could possibly have about cruising.

 

Another cruise I did with a couple was a mess. We didn't discuss things in enough detail ahead of time and had a few times that led to major disappointment and frustration.

 

Good luck and I hope your trip goes well. All in all. Make things as clear as possible before you leave and try to stay on the same page. Good communication with the other couple about expectations is a key factor.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SheriAZ]

My sister in law has a nice way of putting up boundries. She says "lets plan one excursion together and meet for dinner every night." That implies that most of time the couples are on their own.

[BourbonNBluesLuvr]

Hi There,

 

To give a different perspective than most-Almost all of our cruises have been with friends (couples, singles, multiple singles, family members), and we have never even considered "set/discussed rules" beforehand, (except where safety and procedures to follow should something happen is concerned). In fact, if there is probably an unspoken rule amongst us, it is to spend as much time as possible with each other ! They are lifetime friends and family for good reason-because we love spending time together; discovering new places together; trying new things together; eating new foods together; acting goofy together; dressing up and taking photos together; dressing down and taking photos together; enjoying beverage packages together:p; exploring the ships together-on and on !

 

Out of, lets guess, approximately 100 excursions on those cruises, there was only one time when one friend did not accompany us (extreme fear of heights and the excursion involved precariously walking at heights). We eat dinner every single night together.

 

When on-board and on sea days, of course we have different ship interests, but we still try to stay together as much as possible. If I eat breakfast early, I will still go back and eat, or sit, with others when they do. If I like one bar, and someone likes another, we will visit both. If one likes to gamble, and the rest don't, we will still stop by and check up to see how much she has lost, and pull her away if needed !!:D If some like the gym, and some don't, we still find time to check on each other. All formal portraits involve single shots, couple shots, group shots.

 

And never once have any of us felt smothered, and in fact, before the cruise is over, everyone is asking-"When are we doing this again" ??:)

 

Friendships to us are meant to be treasured…every single minute of them, and a 2 week cruise is barely enough time to get started !

 

Can't wait to cruise with my friends again soon !

 

BBL

[dancinman66]

Hi There,

 

 

 

To give a different perspective than most-Almost all of our cruises have been with friends (couples, singles, multiple singles, family members), and we have never even considered "set/discussed rules" beforehand, (except where safety and procedures to follow should something happen is concerned). In fact, if there is probably an unspoken rule amongst us, it is to spend as much time as possible with each other ! They are lifetime friends and family for good reason-because we love spending time together; discovering new places together; trying new things together; eating new foods together; acting goofy together; dressing up and taking photos together; dressing down and taking photos together; enjoying beverage packages together:p; exploring the ships together-on and on !

 

 

 

Out of, lets guess, approximately 100 excursions on those cruises, there was only one time when one friend did not accompany us (extreme fear of heights and the excursion involved precariously walking at heights). We eat dinner every single night together.

 

 

 

When on-board and on sea days, of course we have different ship interests, but we still try to stay together as much as possible. If I eat breakfast early, I will still go back and eat, or sit, with others when they do. If I like one bar, and someone likes another, we will visit both. If one likes to gamble, and the rest don't, we will still stop by and check up to see how much she has lost, and pull her away if needed !!:D If some like the gym, and some don't, we still find time to check on each other. All formal portraits involve single shots, couple shots, group shots.

 

 

 

And never once have any of us felt smothered, and in fact, before the cruise is over, everyone is asking-"When are we doing this again" ??:)

 

 

 

Friendships to us are meant to be treasured…every single minute of them, and a 2 week cruise is barely enough time to get started !

 

 

 

Can't wait to cruise with my friends again soon !

 

 

 

BBL

 

 

Your lucky that is a deep true friendship where you obviously share a lot in common

 

Too much together with most friendships can really strain the friendship even to breaking

 

Always make individual time and activities so we are not always in each other's pockets has worked for me

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[lido deck larry]

Harmonious cruise withanother couple? Basic communication to set expectations, done in a friendly way. Make a joke out of it.. you don't want spend all your time with me.. I'll drive you crazy after day two! That and don't hit in the other guys wife.. not good for harmony. Or do hit on her if you want them leave you alone!

[geoherb]

One of our friends threatened to book a cruise with us for many years. She finally did a couple of years ago. We linked our reservations for dining purposes. We had guarantee cabins and ended up next door to her. I guess the linked reservations did that for us. We never let her know that the balcony divider could be unlocked, so we still had privacy on our balcony.

 

The first afternoon on the ship, we checked out our table assignment in the dining room. It was a table for four. We waited in line to change that to a larger table. We changed her assignment as well even though she had not boarded yet. (She flew down to Florida a few days before we did to visit friends.) We ended up at a table for eight with two British couples and a single man. It worked out well--having others to converse with at dinner instead of just the three of us at a table.

 

During the day, we tended to do our own things. She wanted more active excursions than we did--going horseback riding, ziplining, and jet skiing. In addition, we had passes to the thalassotherapy pool and she did not want to buy one, so we relaxed in the afternoons there without her while she was getting some sun--something I try to avoid.

 

Overall, we had a fine time with her along. She wasn't the third wheel I was afraid she would be.

[cb at sea]

I don't see why anyone would "latch on" to you, just because this is their 1st cruise...Cruising isn't rocket science! It's a vacation. Surely these "friends" have vacationed before.

 

I agree with setting parameters, and letting them know in advance that everyone will be "on their own" for the most part!!!

[ronandannette]

All good words of advice. I've already explained to them "how we roll". My DH and I don't do much together during the day but we usually eat our meals together and usually do the evenings together, so I want and am used to freedom and flexibility.

 

I don't mind guiding them the first full day at sea but after that, they are on their own and I imagine we will try to eat most dinners with them. I also tend to come onboard with "new friends" from Cruise Critic roll calls, so I will have other social commitments.

 

I think my activity level is vastly higher than the other wife and I have an eye light sensitivity so don't like laying in the sun while she does. I walk the decks and use the gym religiously. I think we have good reasons to not hang with each other during the day and we know each other very well, so this won't be a shock.

 

I like the five minute rule but may make that a ten minute rule...

 

I'm going into this cruise as a realist but will try very hard to stay positive and kind with setting some reasonable boundaries.

Good advice! Thanks to all. Any more good words?

 

I don't see why anyone would "latch on" to you, just because this is their 1st cruise...Cruising isn't rocket science! It's a vacation. Surely these "friends" have vacationed before.

I agree with setting parameters, and letting them know in advance that everyone will be "on their own" for the most part!!!

 

Agree with cb...it sounds like you're going into this expecting to have to "fend them off" in order to protect your own interests without much concern for the fact that it's their vacation too. Perhaps they're worried about the same thing...:rolleyes:. Have you actually asked them what they expect and would like from the trip? Do their expectations and desires even matter to you? If you haven't made this plan in order to share a mutually-enjoyable time with one another why not just go alone??

Edited September 10, 2014 by ronandannette

[Calgon1]

When we have sailed with friends, We usually ask for a larger table, at a set dining time. We are very clear that everyone does "thier own thing" and dinne will provide everyone an opportunity to catch up on goings on. Plus, with a larger table, if any couple wants to opt for alternative dining, the odds are that those not doing so will not be dining alone.

But, you do have to be firm. You are not going to do everything together. Explain that you will be glad to give them general advice/guidance (on really important things), but empathize that experiencing is the best way to learn about cruising. Plus, the other couples at the table may be a good source of opposing opinions on cruise subjects. Will allow for a better knowledge growth experience . . .