traveling with another couple

[Markanddonna]

I would appreciate advice on how to travel as harmoniously as possible with another couple who are good friends. We are quite experienced cruisers while this will be their first and it is a LONG cruise (almost 3 weeks). I have been suggesting they try out a shorter cruise, but that isn't happening...

 

We like sharing tables with others for dinner (not set times) and meeting new people and are usually on a roll call for long trips. We are seasoned cruise critics.

 

Thanks!

[Life is Good Cruising]

When we travel with friends or family we tell them this, as far as breakfast everyone gets up at different times so do your own thing. We always do lunch, dinner, shows and maybe some excursions with them. Some like to go to the pool in the afternoon and others don't like the sun, as some may want to go to a beach on an excursion while others won't. We'll go over the list of excursions and try to compromise on some and suggest to them to try certain excursions that we've been on, so we'll do our own thing.

 

We tell them in advance after shows, we'll see them the next day as we'll go to the casino as they may not gamble. As time goes on, we enjoy cruising more and more by ourselves and being able to come and go as we please instead of trying to please others. We don't like having people glued to us all day and night. If they are good friends they should understand. Maybe after this 3 week cruise you may not be such good friends. Good Luck.

Edited September 7, 2014 by Life is Good Cruising

[Marie51]

I think the most important thing is not to try to do everything together....especially for 3 weeks. That can ruin a friendship quickly even though you've been friends for awhile.

[cruisead]

Wow, you're brave. I really think this couple is going to latch onto you, and not let go, because they're new to cruising. I see it as being like a baby learning to walk, and the fact they tend to not to let go of mommy's hand. You really need to set up specific parameters to this couple BEFORE you leave for the cruise. You need to kindly, but firmly, let them know that this will not be a 24/7 "we will do everything together" cruise. Let them know that you'll need alone time, and that you'll have no problem having lunch and dinner together, and maybe some tours and onboard activities, but that if you want to do something different from them, it should not be taken as an insult. If you leave these issues until you're already on the ship, it could cause BIG problems and hard feelings.

[Krazy Kruizers]

I have to agree with Marie.

Don't plan events where you are all together all the time. Choose different excursions most of the time.

Maybe meet for a cocktail in the afternoon just to get together -- but each couple do their own thing for dinner.

[celebrity]

I have to agree with Marie.

Don't plan events where you are all together all the time. Choose different excursions most of the time.

Maybe meet for a cocktail in the afternoon just to get together -- but each couple do their own thing for dinner.

 

Agree with all the above posts. Set specific ground rules prior to sailing. In our case, we have a " do your own thing" mentality during the day. Dinner is when we meet up and rehash our day.

I let them know what I plan to do in port. If they want to join us, great, if not, no problem.

Should also mention that my husband and I take off in different directions. He is very happy laying on a lounge chair at the pool all day while I run around with various activities.

That's the beauty of cruising. Something for everyone.

Edited September 7, 2014 by celebrity

[celebrity]

I would appreciate advice on how to travel as harmoniously as possible with another couple who are good friends. We are quite experienced cruisers while this will be their first and it is a LONG cruise (almost 3 weeks). I have been suggesting they try out a shorter cruise, but that isn't happening...

 

We like sharing tables with others for dinner (not set times) and meeting new people and are usually on a roll call for long trips. We are seasoned cruise critics.

 

Thanks!

 

Are you upset that they are joining you or just nervous?

[julie3fan]

We cruised with another couple where he was good friends of my husband and she was more of an aquaintance, and after that cruise we said "never again!" Bummer that we already had a second cruise planned with them. That one was even worse. Now I hear she wants to plan yet another cruise with us. I have to come up with a kind but emphatic way to say No! On the other hand, we LOVED sailing with my SIL and BIL...we keep asking them when we can do it again!

[celebrity]

We cruised with another couple where he was good friends of my husband and she was more of an aquaintance, and after that cruise we said "never again!" Bummer that we already had a second cruise planned with them. That one was even worse. Now I hear she wants to plan yet another cruise with us. I have to come up with a kind but emphatic way to say No! On the other hand, we LOVED sailing with my SIL and BIL...we keep asking them when we can do it again!

 

What happened to make you vow, never again?

[julie3fan]

So many stupid things. She had to tell us when she'd be washing her hair...and how. She complained that she accidently used the conditioner first instead of the shampoo because the bottles looked the same and she couldn't see because there was water in her eyes! She threw away an envelope containing money she had planned for an excursion, and couldn't find one on another day (turned out it was in the stack with all her other envelopes). She had some food items that she knew would cause her discomfort, ate them anyways, then complained about the discomfort. Continually reviewed pictures on her camera in the middle of excursions. I wondered why she wasn't interested in enjoying the current scenery, but the annoying part was the noise the camera made when each picture was advanced. I could go on and on.....but I'll spare you. Like I said, never again!

[LHT28]

We have done it a couple of times one land vacation 1 river cruise

never again

 

Tell them just go to breakfast when they want, DO NOT call you or knock on your door ..you will see them later

arrange to meet up for drinks before dinner

try to encourge them to do excursions without you or DIY where possible

I am not saying do not do any excursions with them but you may have different interests

 

Make sure they know you are NOT on a schedule for dinner you like to share with others

 

We ended up not meeting many other people on our cruise as we ate with our friends ..they would always pick a table for 4 or if a larger table they would talk politics ..a no no

This was their 1st cruise also

Give some advice on dinner conversations & what to avoid ...IMO avoid politics, religion & how much people paid for the trip

 

Good luck

[celebrity]

So many stupid things. She had to tell us when she'd be washing her hair...and how. She complained that she accidently used the conditioner first instead of the shampoo because the bottles looked the same and she couldn't see because there was water in her eyes! She threw away an envelope containing money she had planned for an excursion, and couldn't find one on another day (turned out it was in the stack with all her other envelopes). She had some food items that she knew would cause her discomfort, ate them anyways, then complained about the discomfort. Continually reviewed pictures on her camera in the middle of excursions. I wondered why she wasn't interested in enjoying the current scenery, but the annoying part was the noise the camera made when each picture was advanced. I could go on and on.....but I'll spare you. Like I said, never again!

 

Ugh! Now how are getting out of the next cruise with them?

[julie3fan]

We've already done the second one. It was full of excuses on our part to try and minimize our time together.

[sail7seas]

We have traveled successfully with five different couples and repeated the experience or remained close friends with all so whatever we did must have worked. :)

 

We dined together every night though a few times we had others at the table with us. We made firm rules that no one is joined at the hip. You do what you want during the day and we will do what we want. If we happen to want to do the same thing, great. We'll do it together.

 

Only one time did we have side by side rooms. It was our least favorite arrangement but it couldn't be helped as they were the last two suites available when we booked. All other times, we put a few cabins/verandahs between us. We liked some privacy and time alone as did our friends.

 

My DH recently passed away and two of those couples have invited me to sail with them. I am so grateful for their friendship and that we managed to preserve it happily while traveling together.

 

The only couple we did not sail again with never sailed again. We had no squabble or problems between us but they were not as enthralled with cruising as us. We remained friends though. :)

[EGG]

I would definitely start with breakfast independently. There is nothing I would hate more than to knock on someone's door and wake them up, or visa versa. This will set the stage for you going your own way during the day.

DH and I often do different things during the day and if you do that you can stress that to your friends. We choose a section of the pool where we will try to find a seat so that is the first place we look for each other (and branch out from there if the seats are full). We do the same with the theatre. We do not save seats for each other at the pool, but sometimes for a short time at the theatre if one of us needs to stop in the cabin.

 

We like traditional dining and would choose to sit with our friends for dinner in a larger table where you can meet other people.

 

As far as excrursions, I would pick what you want to do and tell them this is what you are doing. If they want to join you, fine. This may even work out for you to share a taxi to the beach or to fill up an independent excursion.

 

Give them the link to Cruise Critic and the roll call so that they can do some of the excursion research for themselves and meet new friends.

Edited September 7, 2014 by EGG

[Daisyloo]

We have travelled several times with a certain couple, to land resorts and once on a cruise. We made the rule before the first vacation together that we would not be joined at the hip. We would do what we wanted, they could do what interested them. The only thing we planned to do together was dinner each night. Some days we did do the same things because it interested us both. Other times we would hardly see each other except at dinner. It worked well for us for all our trips together.

We are talking about doing another vacation together in the spring, so we haven't managed to drive each other nuts yet!

:D

[celebrity]

We have traveled successfully with five different couples and repeated the experience or remained close friends with all so whatever we did must have worked. :)

 

We dined together every night though a few times we had others at the table with us. We made firm rules that no one is joined at the hip. You do what you want during the day and we will do what we want. If we happen to want to do the same thing, great. We'll do it together.

 

Only one time did we have side by side rooms. It was our least favorite arrangement but it couldn't be helped as they were the last two suites available when we booked. All other times, we put a few cabins/verandahs between us. We liked some privacy and time alone as did our friends.

 

My DH recently passed away and two of those couples have invited me to sail with them. I am so grateful for their friendship and that we managed to preserve it happily while traveling together.

 

The only couple we did not sail again with never sailed again. We had no squabble or problems between us but they were not as enthralled with cruising as us. We remained friends though. :)

 

My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I hope you take up your friends offer and sail again.

[packedandready]

Any time we travel with others being a cruise or land trip we have the "5 minute rule". If we are to meet up somewhere, the wait limit length is only 5 minutes.

 

Especially on cruises where communication is difficult it's hard to keep tract of everyone. If the other party(s) haven't arrived in 5 minutes then the original party is free to go on about their business without worrying and waiting.

 

Always works well....never know when someone will change their mind at the last minute.

[sail7seas]

My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I hope you take up your friends offer and sail again.

 

 

 

Thank you for your kind message.

 

They thoughtfully chose a date which would be about 9 months after my husband's passing as they knew I needed time before I could even consider it. Seeing it is still some months off, I am seriously thinking of joining them. I know if I am ever to sail again, I must go with friends at least the first time. Perhaps after that I can attempt by myself. After 90+ cruises and 44 years marriage with DH, it won't be easy.

 

[dfish]

I once traveled with and roomed with a friend that I like a lot, but knew the arrangement could be problematic. I agree totally that the ground rules must be set, agreed on and understood before you ever book the cruise together.

 

In my case I made it clear that we would do our own thing whenever we wanted to do so. That included dinner although most nights we did dine together. There was one night I wanted to do something different and it was no problem. We agreed that if the activity was something we were both interested in, it was great and we'd go together. If it was something that one wanted to do, they were free to go do it. We also agreed that we would have time to ourselves and be respectful of each other's different time schedules. She was very quiet when she came in later than me each evening and I always set out my clothes at night so I could grab them, change in the bathroom and be out of the cabin very quietly in the morning while she slept in.

 

It was a combination that could have resulted in a huge problem, but because of agreeing on the ground rules ahead of time, we got through a 17 day cruise with no problems.

 

Others on the cruise who were traveling with friends were not as successful, mainly because they hadn't had that conversation in advance.

 

Debbie

[CruisingAlong4Now]

Before I sailed with friends, we had agreed that we were not "vacationing together" but merely sailing on the same ship at the same time. DH and I arranged our shore excursions without consulting our friends. We were on some excursions together when we had both picked the same excursion, but otherwise we were on our own. The only scheduled interactions were dinner dates we had set up, just as if we were home. Same for the shows. We made dates to be together, just like home. For a shorter trip, you could arrange for dinner every night so as to "catch-up" on the day's happenings, but for three weeks, that's too many group dinners.

 

If we happen to see each other at breakfast, we would request a table for 4. Otherwise, we were on our own. Other interactions were on a pick-up basis. Saying hi! at the pool! Joining them for a cuppa in the afternoon.

 

Worked great: still friends and we still travel together. But not "together"!;);)

Edited September 7, 2014 by CruisingAlong4Now

[OCruisers]

We prefer not to cruise with friends from home but do enjoy being with our "cruise pals" from previous sailings together. :)

LuLu

[dancinman66]

That's is going to be interesting

Three weeks together and they are cruise virgins

 

Don't do everything together

Once a week have dinner alone for private time

Don't have lunch together always

Do most things during day as individual only pulling for activities like trivia bingo and shows

Do not do all tours together

That kills things quick

You both need space

Good luck

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[tigercat]

I have sailed with different people in my cabin and not. The last cruise my husband and I had one of our friends in the cabin with us and then another couple went as well. I could sail with the other couple again but don't want to vacation with our friend in the cabin again. We are still friends and she still comes over for tea once in a while but will not be that close again.

 

If she was up all the lights would go on and stay on. She would stay up really late drinking in the cabin while we were trying to sleep, with the lights on. I would shut some of them off but just as I was going to sleep on would come all the lights again because she needed something in the closet. Her bedside light wasn't enough. It was the same thing in the morning. She would get up early and on would come all the lights. We never realized how much alcohol she drank and it became a worry for us.

 

We all ate dinner in the dining room which was great. It was nice to catch up with the other couple and we did have a blast.

 

Some excursions we did together, some I did with the other couple or I did with our friend. Some I did alone. THat was fine.

 

I am now going to cruise with my 2 sons (they are both 34), their friend and their friends Mum. This time I know that we will be doing different things because I am not doing any excursions except the one private one I have arranged. They will be off the ship doing their thing. Except for my one son. He is not doing as much as them but he really likes to have some alone time so that will work. I am not sure about dining with them except for the steakhouse and the Chef's Table that I have already arranged. I am okay doing things alone now because my husband tends to go off and do things himself. I have some books on my Kobo and I will be pampered on the ship.

tigercat

[navybankerteacher]

Thank you for your kind message.

 

They thoughtfully chose a date which would be about 9 months after my husband's passing as they knew I needed time before I could even consider it. Seeing it is still some months off, I am seriously thinking of joining them. I know if I am ever to sail again, I must go with friends at least the first time. Perhaps after that I can attempt by myself. After 90+ cruises and 44 years marriage with DH, it won't be easy.

 

 

You are fortunate to have such considerate friends - and going with someone you know and are comfortable with seems a good way to "get back in the water"

 

Later cruises, alone or with friends can be decided as time passes. I went through a comparable return to cruising - the only suggestion I would volunteer concerning your first solo cruise (if you do take one) would be to make it a short itinerary to see how it goes.