Majesty Review (sort of)

[danielbriere]

One of the oddities of this discussion forum (and cruise-takers in general, it seems) is that so many reviews of so many ships have me anxious prior to leaving. The naysayers do a great job of making sure that each time I'm heading out I'm convinced I'm about to embark on a voyage of the damned with poor service, food that barely beats swamp water and moldy bread, and jail-cell-like staterooms.

 

Never happens.

 

So let me assure those awaiting their cruise on Majesty, you can rest easy and ignore all the impossible-to-please reviewers out there. You'll be fine, you'll have a great time and the ship will be up to standards and beyond, as all are. Breathe. You're OK.

 

To help those leaving soon, I'm going to break this up into useful (I hope) topics rather than something chronological that really interests only me. If you really want an in-depth breakdown of everything we did in order, feel free to pop over to the house for a two-hour slide show of our vacation pictures with longwinded narration and boring tangents about my late aunt Ethel's trip to America in steerage once upon a time.

 

Yeah, I thought this way would be better.

 

Of course, there are a few points that weren't perfect. I'll get to those. But if you're looking for a hatchet job, you won't find that here. We really enjoyed ourselves. The quibbles are minor.

 

OK, here we go for those still interested.

 

Embarkation:

Easy. Arrived about 10:45, got our SeaPass cards in 10 minutes from a woman who reminded me of George's mother from Seinfeld, spent 10 more minutes in another line then were on board eating. Note to newbies - whatever you do, don't listen to the cruise line's instructions about when to arrive. Arrive early. Otherwise you're wasting a good part of a day. And carry your bathing suit and sunscreen on with you in a carry on so you can use the deck before your luggage arrives.

 

Staterooms:

Yes, they're small. Smaller than on most ships. Maybe smaller than your walk-in closet at home. If I bent over to pick up a pair of shoes and wasn't careful, I ran the risk of impaling my sphincter on a door handle. It's a bed, a desk and a bathroom. That's it. No grand foyer or dance floor. But it's clean, well-kept and more than sufficient. After all, unless you're a honeymooner you probably want to spend your time elsewhere. (And if you're a honeymooner, heads up, the doors aren't perfectly soundproof).

 

Public spaces:

Again, everything is clean. The ship is the oldest in the fleet but holds up well. I never licked the handrailings as a test of cleanliness, but I probably could have. Staff picked up cups and used plates quickly. Everything appeared in good order.

 

Decks:

Plenty of deck chairs usually available. Easy bar access. Sun deck is close to Windjammer so food is never far away. Pools were clean. Only real comment (which, admittedly has nothing to do with the ship itself) ... if you are one of those folks carrying an extra 80 or 90 pounds - or 200 - a thong is probably not your best option. I mean, nobody hates you or begrudges you sharing a ship with them. Nobody's suggesting you shouldn't wear a bathing suit at all or get some sun. And no doubt, you're a lovely person and we'd love to have a drink with you. But holy heck, a little coverage on the cottage-cheesy buttock region would be a pleasant nod to those onboard with you. Especially if you're positioning yourself onto the chair next to me and that hind end is inches from my face. Seriously, for one moment during the sailing I felt like Neil Armstrong looking out the window of the Apollo as he landed on the face of the moon.

 

Decks II:

To the late-middle-aged woman who thought this was a European ship and was lying on her back sunbathing topless, no problem. But you might want to find a spot other that right outside the pizza parlour windows next time. Kids, after all. And appetites.

 

Decks III:

The deck band was as good as any we've heard on a bunch of cruises. Most shocking of all, Red Red Wine was not played 72 times a day. That was a wonderful gift. Their selection was nice and technically they were strong.

 

Food:

Always the most-important question on any cruise. In short, it was great. Forget all the other critics on these boards who apparently have five-star chefs for parents and grew up eating nothing but French gourmet food. Everything we had was excellent. The main dining room especially was very, very good. Service was excellent, choice was more than adequate and quality was outstanding. I worked my way through most of the menu (a few more days and I would've been one of those folks with the thong issue) and I can say you'll be fine. The Windjammer was also quite good, though slightly less fancy. One word about the Windjammer though. It is amazing to me that on a ship where your main activities are lying down, drinking and eating, and where you never have fewer than six pounds of undigested food in your system, people could still be so frantic about getting fed. Seriously, I had more folks cut in front of me in lines to get their food you'd think they had recently been rescued from a deserted island surviving on raw snails and coconut water. Slow down. The mounds of bacon will always be there (or will be refilled so you don't starve to death).

 

Shows:

Didn't love the comedians or the singers and dancers on this cruise. Usually do, didn't this time. Luck of the draw. Personal taste. Even so, the only complaint is that the shows usually started at 8 to accommodate both dinner seatings which made it a huge rush for those us us dining early. Meaning, the theatre was pitch black when we arrived and finding seats was a challenge. On the flip side, The Quest, Battle of the Sexes and Love and Marriage Shows were solid. Actually, quite hilarious.

 

Staff:

No complaints. All good.

 

Customs:

The time when you return to U.S. soil in Key West and have to be checked by customs agents is the one thing that could really be fixed. Told to be at our designated spot at 9:15 a.m. Arrived shortly before. Long line. Loooooong line. No agents. Still no agents. Still no agents. Every time we eventually started making progress toward an agent, folks with excursions booked (who'd not bothered to come on time) were put in front of us in line. Frustrating. Roughly 10:15, we finally got to the front of the line. Should not be this slow or cumbersome. Cost a chunk of a beautiful port day. There has to be a better way.

 

Captain:

Never saw him. On most cruises we've been on he's been front and centre. Here, a ghost. That's OK. Probably means he was steering the ship. Rather have him to that, to be honest.

 

Cruise director:

She was fine. Can't remember her name. She didn't make the cruise vastly better or hurt it. Sort of served as a traffic cop. Much better than a guy we had one time who thought he was Austin Powers and introduced me to my first feelings of wanting to throw someone overboard. No, this AD was perfectly fine. But if you want to play a Majesty of the Seas drinking game, pound back a shot every time she says "Right over there." You'll be sloshed before the first show starts.

 

Best secret spot:

Go to the sports court at the back of the ship (the stern, for you experienced sailors who want to show off your great nautical jargon). Then go down the stairs a deck or two. Nobody was ever there and it was relaxing and fantastic to sit and watch the wake on the water.

 

Thing not to do:

Flush while sitting. The Mach-Six suction could cause severe internal injury.

 

Thing not to do II:

Step into the shower when the red line on the temperature handle is all the way toward you. Always check, unless you want to experience the sensation of being deep fried.

 

Thing not to do III:

Try to order a rare, generally unknown cocktail from the bartenders - then insist they make it even when it's clear they think you're talking Swahili - when there are 45 people waiting behind you. Get a strawberry daquiri. One's probably already made.

 

There's more but I'll stop there. Don't want to bore you.

 

Point is, all those people who worried you by saying Majesty was too old or too small or too whatever, it's not. No, it's not Oasis but it has different charms. And to be honest, I can't even begin to imagine what the customs line would be like on Oasis ...

[Eng23]

Very nice! Fair and balanced report. I can agree with you on all of your points, especially the customs clearance issue in Key West. Majesty is a fine ship and I would have no problems sailing on her again. FYI for trivia minded folks and to anyone interested, Majesty has the largest Schooner Bar of any ship in the fleet! :)

[ladysail2]

Staterooms:

Yes, they're small. Smaller than on most ships. Maybe smaller than your walk-in closet at home. If I bent over to pick up a pair of shoes and wasn't careful, I ran the risk of impaling my sphincter on a door handle. It's a bed, a desk and a bathroom. That's it. No grand foyer or dance floor. But it's clean, well-kept and more than sufficient. After all, unless you're a honeymooner you probably want to spend your time elsewhere. (And if you're a honeymooner, heads up, the doors aren't perfectly soundproof).

 

 

Customs:

The time when you return to U.S. soil in Key West and have to be checked by customs agents is the one thing that could really be fixed. Told to be at our designated spot at 9:15 a.m. Arrived shortly before. Long line. Loooooong line. No agents. Still no agents. Still no agents. Every time we eventually started making progress toward an agent, folks with excursions booked (who'd not bothered to come on time) were put in front of us in line. Frustrating. Roughly 10:15, we finally got to the front of the line. Should not be this slow or cumbersome. Cost a chunk of a beautiful port day. There has to be a better way.

 

Captain:

Never saw him. On most cruises we've been on he's been front and centre. Here, a ghost. That's OK. Probably means he was steering the ship. Rather have him to that, to be honest.

 

 

 

Thing not to do II:

Step into the shower when the red line on the temperature handle is all the way toward you. Always check, unless you want to experience the sensation of being deep fried.

 

 

Point is, all those people who worried you by saying Majesty was too old or too small or too whatever, it's not. No, it's not Oasis but it has different charms. And to be honest, I can't even begin to imagine what the customs line would be like on Oasis ...

 

I can attest to that. The couple next door to me made alot more sounds than I cared to hear. I'm glad I never saw them...they might have seen the embarrassment in my face :eek:

 

Definitely, I always turn on the shower with the head facing the wall and test the temp with my hand before I step in....never been fried yet :D

 

Are you sure the Captain was male. I was on Majesty in Feb and the Captain was a female. Didn't see her out and about either.

 

Always a pain in the derriere...no matter how smoothly it goes....

 

Glad you had a good time! :D

[Hoopster95]

Seriously, for one moment during the sailing I felt like Neil Armstrong looking out the window of the Apollo as he landed on the face of the moon.

 

ROFLMAO!! :p:p:p

[LMaxwell]

[emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji568]

[Merion_Mom]

One of the oddities of this discussion forum (and cruise-takers in general, it seems) is that so many reviews of so many ships have me anxious prior to leaving. The naysayers do a great job of making sure that each time I'm heading out I'm convinced I'm about to embark on a voyage of the damned with poor service, food that barely beats swamp water and moldy bread, and jail-cell-like staterooms.

 

Never happens.

 

So let me assure those awaiting their cruise on Majesty, you can rest easy and ignore all the impossible-to-please reviewers out there. You'll be fine, you'll have a great time and the ship will be up to standards and beyond, as all are. Breathe. You're OK.

 

To help those leaving soon, I'm going to break this up into useful (I hope) topics rather than something chronological that really interests only me. If you really want an in-depth breakdown of everything we did in order, feel free to pop over to the house for a two-hour slide show of our vacation pictures with longwinded narration and boring tangents about my late aunt Ethel's trip to America in steerage once upon a time.

 

Yeah, I thought this way would be better.

 

Of course, there are a few points that weren't perfect. I'll get to those. But if you're looking for a hatchet job, you won't find that here. We really enjoyed ourselves. The quibbles are minor.

 

 

[Merion_Mom]

I can attest to that. The couple next door to me made alot more sounds than I cared to hear. I'm glad I never saw them...they might have seen the embarrassment in my face :eek:

 

Definitely, I always turn on the shower with the head facing the wall and test the temp with my hand before I step in....never been fried yet :D

 

Are you sure the Captain was male. I was on Majesty in Feb and the Captain was a female. Didn't see her out and about either.

 

Always a pain in the derriere...no matter how smoothly it goes....

 

Glad you had a good time! :D

 

According to the Captains thread, it's Captain Per Persson.

 

The two women captains on RC are Captain Karin and Captain Lis.

Edited September 8, 2015 by Merion_Mom

[BekkaW]

GREAT review, thank you :D

[John&LaLa]

Very nice! Fair and balanced report. I can agree with you on all of your points, especially the customs clearance issue in Key West. Majesty is a fine ship and I would have no problems sailing on her again. FYI for trivia minded folks and to anyone interested, Majesty has the largest Schooner Bar of any ship in the fleet! :)

 

I thought she had the largest Boleros

[DianeandMark]

Loved your review, thank you! We are cruising Legend of the Seas in January and some of the reviews are ghastly, but we will assume it'll be great until, or if, reality proves otherwise :)

[Keith1010]

I enjoyed reading your review.

 

Keith

[cruiseapril]

What did you do in the ports?

[ragen]

That was a Perfect Review, Funny and Truthful. Thanks.

[nbsjcruiser]

We've had some of out better cruises on the Majesty. So much so that we sailed her 4 times.

[JTBCruiser]

Loved the humor and review. We sail on her next month and are really looking forward to it. When did you actually disembark in Key West? I wanted to schedule a parasailing excursions direct with the vendor but want to ensure I get a later time to accommodate for the slow disembarkation process. :cool:

[monctonguy]

Good review and loved your sense of humor in writing it.

 

Can't wait to get on her in 62 days!

[danielbriere]

To answer a couple questions you've asked ...

 

We disembarked sometime around 10:30 or so as I recall in Key West. Not a huge problem, just a pain to get through the process.

 

As for the ports, they were a mixed bag to be honest.

 

Key West is fantastic. Taking a walk to the southernmost point buoy marker is fun, though it was so hot I could have fried eggs in my armpits. No complaints, we were there for the heat. But take water. And plan on a slow stroll. The Little White House is an interesting stop. Hemingway's House is worth a look over the fence and the original Sloppy Joe's Bar is a landmark worth poking your head into for a few moments. Just a lovely place. Key West, I mean. Not the bar.

 

Coco Cay was great. Not too crowded, especially if you don't follow the crowd to the beach on your left as you leave the tender. Everyone goes that way because it's a bit closer and it ends up jammed. We went right and it was gorgeous and spacious. Lovely day on the island. Only downside? We had a non-alcoholic drink package (Royal Refreshment I think it's called) but there were no facilities for frozen drinks, just cans of pop. We had to make up for it when we got back on board by downing five or six virgin pina coladas. (Then having a massive, painful brain freeze).

 

Nassau was a dump. Had we booked an excursion I have no doubt it would've been terrific. We had decided just to wander around the port area. Won't do that again. Pushy sales people, sickly looking horses, and touristy tack. Would just stay on the ship next time. Again, those who went to Atlantis or somewhere else surely saw a different, beautiful piece of paradise. Lesson learned.

 

Anyone have different experiences? Love to hear about them.

[garnetpalmetto]

I can attest to that. The couple next door to me made alot more sounds than I cared to hear. I'm glad I never saw them...they might have seen the embarrassment in my face :eek:

 

Definitely, I always turn on the shower with the head facing the wall and test the temp with my hand before I step in....never been fried yet :D

Are you sure the Captain was male. I was on Majesty in Feb and the Captain was a female. Didn't see her out and about either.

 

Always a pain in the derriere...no matter how smoothly it goes....

 

Glad you had a good time! :D

 

Each ship has two captains and they rotate command every 10 weeks. While one's in command the other's off the ship on vacation.

[dividedsky]

Loved your review. Can't wait to sail on her in early Nov :D

[jayblue]

 

Decks:

Plenty of deck chairs usually available. Easy bar access. Sun deck is close to Windjammer so food is never far away. Pools were clean. Only real comment (which, admittedly has nothing to do with the ship itself) ... if you are one of those folks carrying an extra 80 or 90 pounds - or 200 - a thong is probably not your best option. I mean, nobody hates you or begrudges you sharing a ship with them. Nobody's suggesting you shouldn't wear a bathing suit at all or get some sun. And no doubt, you're a lovely person and we'd love to have a drink with you. But holy heck, a little coverage on the cottage-cheesy buttock region would be a pleasant nod to those onboard with you. Especially if you're positioning yourself onto the chair next to me and that hind end is inches from my face. Seriously, for one moment during the sailing I felt like Neil Armstrong looking out the window of the Apollo as he landed on the face of the moon.

 

As a women with extra helpings when it comes to size, I found your statement to be very diplomatic-and hilarious!!!

Edited September 8, 2015 by jayblue
Quote is not showing up properly

[jayblue]

 

Nassau was a dump. Had we booked an excursion I have no doubt it would've been terrific. We had decided just to wander around the port area. Won't do that again. Pushy sales people, sickly looking horses, and touristy tack. Would just stay on the ship next time. Again, those who went to Atlantis or somewhere else surely saw a different, beautiful piece of paradise. Lesson learned.

 

 

Thanks for the heads up. I had been toying with just walking around Nassau. I will just do a tour.

[Studio472]

Nassau was a dump. Had we booked an excursion I have no doubt it would've been terrific. We had decided just to wander around the port area. Won't do that again. Pushy sales people, sickly looking horses, and touristy tack. Would just stay on the ship next time. Again, those who went to Atlantis or somewhere else surely saw a different, beautiful piece of paradise. Lesson learned.

 

Nassau ALWAYS sucks. Without exception. Every time I say I'm not going to get off the ship, and get off and remember why. Someday I will learn this lesson. Best way to avoid this is to choose non-Nassau itineraries.

 

The only positives around Nassau:

1. Hard Liquor prices are hard to beat, although deals on the ship are usually pretty competitive anyway
   
2. Kalik brand beer is available here. Always try to get a 'road beer' on the way back to the ship
   

 

As far as negatives go, we went to Senor Frogs to tie one on (at 11am) and were really disappointed. They're owned by the same company that runs 'Carlos & Charlies' in Cozumel. This place was a huge disappointment. Even the 'yard' frozen drink plastic glasses no longer fill to the bottom (saves them money). Not that the drink was worthy of needing more, but at C&C the selection and taste of every drink was great.

[monctonguy]

I don't find Nassau bad for what it is...yes, some of it is not great, but you can avoid a lot of that if you wish.

 

Lots to see just walking around....from local shops to high end shops. Local eats to chain names. Same with bars/pubs.

 

Junkanoo beach isn't a bad spot to spend an hour or two. Cheap drinks, free beach....

 

This will be my 6th time visiting, and while I may not spend all day in Nassau, I defn get off the boat for awhile and enjoy myself just wandering around.

Edited September 8, 2015 by monctonguy

[FLACRUISER99]

Nassau ALWAYS sucks. Without exception. Every time I say I'm not going to get off the ship, and get off and remember why. Someday I will learn this lesson. Best way to avoid this is to choose non-Nassau itineraries.

 

 

 

The only positives around Nassau:

 

1. 
    
   
2. Hard Liquor prices are hard to beat, although deals on the ship are usually pretty competitive anyway
    
   
3. Kalik brand beer is available here. Always try to get a 'road beer' on the way back to the ship
    
   

 

 

 

As far as negatives go, we went to Senor Frogs to tie one on (at 11am) and were really disappointed. They're owned by the same company that runs 'Carlos & Charlies' in Cozumel. This place was a huge disappointment. Even the 'yard' frozen drink plastic glasses no longer fill to the bottom (saves them money). Not that the drink was worthy of needing more, but at C&C the selection and taste of every drink was great.

 

 

Maybe you should just stay home.

[karena1]

We have been on Majesty 28 times and still love her. Will be on her again in Oct. Great staff, some of the friendliest we have ever had

 

Like many, Nassau is not our favorite place, but we live with it. If nice, we always go to Jyah at Junkanoo. Barry cleans up his section of beach really nice, he has good drink prices and just a great guy. His section if the first section right before the bathrooms. His section of beach is way less rocky than if you go past the bathrooms. But lots of food vendors there, you can walk there, and watch the ship and boat traffic all day.

 

Love CocoCay, one of my favorite places and the snorkeling there is fantastic.

 

Have loved all our Majesty cruises but October will probably be the last. Now we are greatly looking forward to getting Enchantment in Miami. Love that ship, was on her again last weekend, but MIA is way closer for us to drive than PC.