Dinner Question - Is this rude?

[Cruzin-K]

So, I was reading a cruise review on the Royal Caribbean boards written by a solo traveler. She was at a table for dinner with other travelers (apparently not solo travelers though), and after dinner, once everyone had finished eating, the others just got up and left and didn't invite her to do anything, like have a drink or see the show. It was just an observation, but the OP sounded disappointed because on previous cruises, she had made friends at dinner and was able to hang out with them afterwards.

 

Two other posters on the thread chimed in to say it was rude of the other passengers to just leave the OP alone after dinner. The OP never said it was rude, just expressed disappointment.

 

What do the wise people of Cruise Critic think? :confused:

 

I don't think it's rude at all. There is nothing that says you must adopt a solo traveler to hang out with you after a meal. I travel solo quite a bit, and have never expected to hang out with my random table mates - in fact if they had invited me to, I probably would have declined because I tend to like doing my own thing in the evenings. Of course, then one of them might have come over to Cruise Critic to complain about the rude solo traveler who kept refusing their invites. lol.

[sail7seas]

I agree that as long as they remained at the table until she was done eating/finishing her coffee or wine, they were not obliged to invite her to spend the evening with them. Assuming they politely excused themselves and said good evening, I don't think there were rude.

 

[headhunterke]

As a solo cruiser myself, I think this has 2 sides. It all depends on the personalities of the other people at that table and their further plans for the night. For example, if they would have gone to a show/venue all together and not invited that solo cruiser, yes, I would find it somewhat rude. If they all had seperate plans, it's a different thing. If the other guests at the table were couples, then it truly depends on eacht personality how they feel about this. But you deal with different people on a cruise, so some will invite you anywhere around the ship so to speak while others are perfectly comfortable only meeting during dinner. That's something you'll have to accept as a solo cruiser, and I think most of them (including me) do. When traveling solo, you develop a great sense to feel this kind of thing. Of course, in both cases, I really hope the other guests at the table waited until she had finished dinner, because yes, I would be extremely offended by that.

Edited November 15, 2015 by headhunterke

[CaveDiving]

...a solo traveler. She was at a table for dinner with other travelers (apparently not solo travelers though), and after dinner, once everyone had finished eating, the others just got up and left and didn't invite her to do anything, like have a drink or see the show....The OP never said it was rude, just expressed disappointment....What do the wise people of Cruise Critic think?...

 

I do not understand why there should be any anticipation that there would be any continuing relationship after dinner. If the folks all really got along then it would be nice but IMHO, it certainly should not be expected.

 

Scott & Karen

[John Bull]

No, not rude at all IMHO.

They are dining companions, not minders. Some folk aren't gregarious by nature and would feel uncomfortable with a stranger, and plenty of times people don't gel.

Yes, I can understand the lady's disappointment, but it sounds like she agrees that it wasn't rude.

 

Maitre D's usually put singletons together on large tables, and yes those singletons tend to have a ball. Often the last table to leave, usually going away mob-handed to a bar, show or whatever. And often seen mob-handed ashore too.

 

Do I presume this was traditional dining?

Perhaps the lady could have asked to be moved to a singleton's table, though numbers are numbers and Maitre D's aren't magicians ;)

 

And most ships also fix up singleton's events, opportunities to mix, mebbe hook up with one or more & ask if the Maitre D' if he could juggle tables for them.

(they're not magicians, but they're pretty good jugglers ;))

 

JB :)

[cruisemom42]

I can't see it as rude. I've traveled solo quite a bit and every so often on a cruise you'll hit it off with a group of table mates or tour mates. But it's just as likely that you don't.

 

I never "expect" to be invited to do something with others as a courtesy. I am very capable of getting to the show or going for an after dinner drink on my own -- and enjoying it. :D

[Treven]

I do not understand why there should be any anticipation that there would be any continuing relationship after dinner. If the folks all really got along then it would be nice but IMHO, it certainly should not be expected.

 

Scott & Karen

I totally agree. As a solo traveler I generally eat alone but when I have been at a large table I certainly didn't expect to be included in any after dinner activities.

[notentirelynormal]

Gosh, it never occurred to me to include anyone in my after dinner adventures unless it is truly generic. Ask what others are doing, sure. But I eat, I enjoy, I go to my cabin or whatever. My goal on a ship is to spend time with whoever I want which is usually my spouse. Even traveling with my kids I don't expect us all to do something together every night.

[Scrapnana]

I don't think it is rude and I usually cruise solo. I was at a table of ten on a 118 day world voyage. Six of us were together the entire time. A few times we made plans to do something afterwards but usually we went our own ways.

[Tura Lura]

It would never cross my mind that random table mates would invite me as a solo traveller to their after dinner plans! If they did I would decline. If we were all solo then maybe, if we hit it off and we had similar plans. If I'm on my own, it's by choice. How awkward to join a group of strangers who know each other and tag along, like a pity date!

 

Then again, I wouldn't join a table anyway. I'll eat on my own usually. Bring a kindle.

[Keith1010]

Karen, from what you said it doesn't sound rude to me.

 

Keith

[Krazy Kruizers]

It doesn't sound rude to me.

People book cruises to do their own things.

[tingyyy]

i've been following that particular review and no, i don't think the table mates were rude. in general, not inviting your dinner mates to whatever post-dinner plans you may have doesn't seem rude to me. but then again it could be because where i'm from people mostly keep to themselves.

[navybankerteacher]

Having been on both sides: cruising as a single and now with my wife, I do not see anything wrong with couples leaving a table, presumably excusing themselves, at the end of a meal without asking a single to join them. However in both cases there have been instances where a single was asked to join one or more couples for a drink - either to continue a conversation or for simple inclusion - but no obligation of courtesy existed.

[sgb]

Not rude at all.

[ger_77]

I don't think it is rude at all. On one of our cruises we had a single lady at our table and never felt we had to include her in our evening plans. It would have been different if she asked what we were doing and then asked to join us - we would certainly have said yes.

 

I don't mean to sound cold, but we are on vacation to relax, not to ensure everyone else's good time as well.

 

Smooth Sailing ! :) :) :)

[NMLady]

So, I was reading a cruise review on the Royal Caribbean boards written by a solo traveler. She was at a table for dinner with other travelers (apparently not solo travelers though), and after dinner, once everyone had finished eating, the others just got up and left and didn't invite her to do anything, like have a drink or see the show. It was just an observation, but the OP sounded disappointed because on previous cruises, she had made friends at dinner and was able to hang out with them afterwards.

 

Two other posters on the thread chimed in to say it was rude of the other passengers to just leave the OP alone after dinner. The OP never said it was rude, just expressed disappointment.

 

What do the wise people of Cruise Critic think? :confused:

 

I don't think it's rude at all. There is nothing that says you must adopt a solo traveler to hang out with you after a meal. I travel solo quite a bit, and have never expected to hang out with my random table mates - in fact if they had invited me to, I probably would have declined because I tend to like doing my own thing in the evenings. Of course, then one of them might have come over to Cruise Critic to complain about the rude solo traveler who kept refusing their invites. lol.

 

If they acknowledged her by excusing themselves, I see nothing wrong. However, if they all just got up and left without saying something, I think that would be rude.

I definitely think they were not rude just because they didn't include her in their evening plans.

[maywell]

I agree with the others - Its not rude, but it is rude of the solo traveler in question to think that every dining mate(s) should invited them to every event. Those people have their own plans for the evening and if they want to invite the person, that fine. If they don't want to invite, that's also fine.

 

No offense - They're not obliged to babysit the solo traveler every evening; that person should learn to make plans for themselves instead of relying on others to makes plans for them. Harsh, but that what it means to travel by yourself - you make your own plans on what you want to do and if other people plans happen to be similar to your own plans, you or they decide if joining up is okay or not. It goes both ways - the world doesn't revolve them, neither does it revolve around solo travelers.

[cb at sea]

It's not rude...just like not offering to share your bottle of wine is not rude! While you may be seated with others, you are NOT part of their "party"...and I believe everyone knows that....

 

We have made some friends of tablemates, and gone to shows after dinner with them...but it's certainly NOT a requirement!

You could compare it to being on a plane or bus with others....no one is required or expected to "share" the movie, their drinks, etc......

[dsrdsrdsr]

Just to agree with everyone else - dining companions are companions for the duration of the meal only. Not for the entire cruise.

Edited November 15, 2015 by dsrdsrdsr

[Cruzin-K]

i've been following that particular review and no, i don't think the table mates were rude. in general, not inviting your dinner mates to whatever post-dinner plans you may have doesn't seem rude to me. but then again it could be because where i'm from people mostly keep to themselves.

I started to write something on that review and then thought better of it and started this thread instead. I figured it would be hijacking that great review to call out the two people who said it was rude. I'm glad people seem to agree that it's just normal to eat and then go your separate ways. That has always been my experience as well.

 

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

[Harry and Lucille]

One of my Sons just returned from cruising for 20 days solo. Anytime dining and by himself at a two top table. He just figured that if he was approached by anyone, that was fine. If not, to just enjoy his meal and go along. He made onboard friends along the way. Some in the dining room and others around the ship. He took this cruise just to get away. First vacation in 11 years and it was just his own time. All went well. As I have always told our family of cruisers, just go with the roll and flow of the ship. ;)

[Lily815]

So, I was reading a cruise review on the Royal Caribbean boards written by a solo traveler. She was at a table for dinner with other travelers (apparently not solo travelers though), and after dinner, once everyone had finished eating, the others just got up and left and didn't invite her to do anything, like have a drink or see the show. It was just an observation, but the OP sounded disappointed because on previous cruises, she had made friends at dinner and was able to hang out with them afterwards.

 

Two other posters on the thread chimed in to say it was rude of the other passengers to just leave the OP alone after dinner. The OP never said it was rude, just expressed disappointment.

 

What do the wise people of Cruise Critic think? :confused:

 

I don't think it's rude at all. There is nothing that says you must adopt a solo traveler to hang out with you after a meal. I travel solo quite a bit, and have never expected to hang out with my random table mates - in fact if they had invited me to, I probably would have declined because I tend to like doing my own thing in the evenings. Of course, then one of them might have come over to Cruise Critic to complain about the rude solo traveler who kept refusing their invites. lol.

 

I don't think it was rude at all. While I wouldn't just "get up" without saying "goodnight" or "enjoy your evening", I wouldn't invite her to join us. I cruise to spend time with my husband and/or my family ... not adopt strangers!

[Davebhoy]

Don't see anything rude in saying cheerio hen doing your own thing.

If you happen to get on particularly well then maybe make plans together but wouldn't have thought this would be expected.

[Sonnieb]

Not rude. In my opinion ... solo travelers .. travel solo for different reasons.

 

(1) they like to be alone.

(2) they have no one to travel with.

 

And probably other reasons.

 

I would not feel obligated (or made to feel guilty if I didn't) to ask a solo traveler to join me & my family. If a solo traveler wants to be included, they should participate in activities that others participate in, and meet up with other people who have similar interests.