Traveling solo - reading during meals

[LMaxwell]

We are teaching our children what is socially acceptable all of the time. That is the job of a parent.

 

Why is texting different? Because the child is communicating with others, showing and demonstrating the desire to communicate, but ignoring the family during family time.

 

What an adult stranger chooses to do with their leisure time is not my parenting concern, unless it sets an obviously bad or dangerous example. If my child wanted to sit quietly at the table and continue reading, I think I'd be okay with that. If they were engaged in a rude or disruptive behavior, I'd handle it. I don't see reading as rude or disruptive and I have no control over what other adults do.

 

Signing up and paying for a cruise does not carry with it any obligation to be social or entertain others. Why do you think so many people want private tables? So they are not being put into forced social interactions with others.

[Newatt]

Going on vacation alone and trying to totally avoid social contact the one time that it really is expected is anti-social behavior. Cruising alone and socializing with others would not be considered anti-social behavior. Plenty of time on a cruise to read a book. This is about avoiding social contact IMO.

 

I have plenty of social contact on my cruises! I am a very social person and chat with people all over the ship. I have made friends on cruises that I stayed in contact with even after the cruise! HOWEVER, at lunch and breakfast, I like to read!

 

Sigh. Of course, if you really think I need therapy, I will immediately seek counseling. :D

[Newatt]

Why is texting different? Because the child is communicating with others, showing and demonstrating the desire to communicate, but ignoring the family during family time.

 

What an adult stranger chooses to do with their leisure time is not my parenting concern, unless it sets an obviously bad or dangerous example. If my child wanted to sit quietly at the table and continue reading, I think I'd be okay with that. If they were engaged in a rude or disruptive behavior, I'd handle it. I don't see reading as rude or disruptive and I have no control over what other adults do.

 

Signing up and paying for a cruise does not carry with it any obligation to be social or entertain others. Why do you think so many people want private tables? So they are not being put into forced social interactions with others.

 

Amen!! Well said.

[Karysa]

Why is texting different? Because the child is communicating with others, showing and demonstrating the desire to communicate, but ignoring the family during family time.

 

What an adult stranger chooses to do with their leisure time is not my parenting concern, unless it sets an obviously bad or dangerous example. If my child wanted to sit quietly at the table and continue reading, I think I'd be okay with that. If they were engaged in a rude or disruptive behavior, I'd handle it. I don't see reading as rude or disruptive and I have no control over what other adults do.

 

Signing up and paying for a cruise does not carry with it any obligation to be social or entertain others. Why do you think so many people want private tables? So they are not being put into forced social interactions with others.

 

I didn't say that the OP had an obligation to socialize with others. I said that it was anti social behavior TO sit with others at a table and read a book. Sitting alone is totally different. Again, the OP asked if he would be rude to read a book while seated with others! This is what I responded to. He didn't ask if it was rude to sit alone at a table and read. I think that point is being missed.

[slidergirl]

I didn't say that the OP had an obligation to socialize with others. I said that it was anti social behavior TO sit with others at a table and read a book. Sitting alone is totally different. Again, the OP asked if he would be rude to read a book while seated with others! This is what I responded to. He didn't ask if it was rude to sit alone at a table and read. I think that point is being missed.

 

You did leave out one important part: the OP was forced to sit at tables with others by staff… The OP was forced to make a choice between doing what she/he wanted to do originally (sit quietly, read and eat) or make small talk with strangers over the meal.

I work in hospitality where I am required to "socialize" 10 hours a day with guests. I'm pretty good at banal chit chat with people I never want to see again. I go out with friends at home. I take a few girls weekends with good friends where we never leave the premises and just talk (and drink lots of wine). When I go on a vacation, be it land or sea, I really do not want to spend precious vacation time doing what I do at work. I am on vacation to relax and recharge and replenish my soul. For me, it requires serious alone time. I am a DIYer in ports, as I really deplore group excursions. If I am in a situation on vacation where I am placed with others, I'll put on my "work persona" and let the others dominate conversations and I'll just smile do the idle chit chat thing. Some on this thread make it sound like we solos either need psychiatric help or should never set foot on a cruise ship. If my, and other solo cruisers, behavior offends you or will ruin your cruise please post when you are cruising so we may avoid crossing paths.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

The OP asked the question and I will paraphrase here. If I am seated with others at breakfast and lunch would it be rude to open his book and read at that time. I believe this to be anti social behavior.

 

 

While I'm not a psychologist, I do happen to have a masters degree in psychology and am a former therapist, and I can tell you with certainty that what the OP is wanting to do doesn't even come close to being defined as anti-social behavior. Nor does he or she need counseling for it. LOL.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

Mother Teresa was single. You got something against her too?:roll eyes:

 

Please take note of the following amazing SINGLE people - Jane Austen, Leonardo Da Vinci, Sir Isaac Newton, Louisa May Alcott, Florence Nightingale, Clara Barton, Hans Christian Anderson, Susan B. Anthony, Orville and Wilbur Wright,Voltaire, Antonio Vivaldi, Joan of Arc, Anne and Emily Brontë, Harper Lee, Greta Garbo (who also wanted to be alone), Ludwig van Beethoven and most important OPRAH!

 

 

But, I'm sure they all had unfulfilled lives because--OMG--they were single. :p

[zoncom]

Take your book and a cup of coffee to either one of the several nearly always empty lounges or even better, the chaises on promenade deck. More pleasant than noisy buffet.

[Karysa]

While I'm not a psychologist, I do happen to have a masters degree in psychology and am a former therapist, and I can tell you with certainty that what the OP is wanting to do doesn't even come close to being defined as anti-social behavior. Nor does he or she need counseling for it. LOL.

 

Thank you. :)

[Karysa]

Take your book and a cup of coffee to either one of the several nearly always empty lounges or even better, the chaises on promenade deck. More pleasant than noisy buffet.

 

Agree. This way you won't make others feel uncomfortable.

[iheartbda]

Oh Karysa, many times you will argue your point to the death but I think you REALLY stuck your foot in your mouth this time.

[Karysa]

Oh Karysa, many times you will argue your point to the death but I think you REALLY stuck your foot in your mouth this time.

 

Rude would have been a better word. The members on the first few pages of this thread used this word over and over so yes I should have used that and it actually got me reading more on true anti social behaviour so it wasn't a total waste of time. :)

[cruisemom42]

But, I'm sure they all had unfulfilled lives because--OMG--they were single. :p

 

LOL. You win the internet today. :D

[Newatt]

You did leave out one important part: the OP was forced to sit at tables with others by staff… The OP was forced to make a choice between doing what she/he wanted to do originally (sit quietly, read and eat) or make small talk with strangers over the meal.

I work in hospitality where I am required to "socialize" 10 hours a day with guests. I'm pretty good at banal chit chat with people I never want to see again. I go out with friends at home. I take a few girls weekends with good friends where we never leave the premises and just talk (and drink lots of wine). When I go on a vacation, be it land or sea, I really do not want to spend precious vacation time doing what I do at work. I am on vacation to relax and recharge and replenish my soul. For me, it requires serious alone time. I am a DIYer in ports, as I really deplore group excursions. If I am in a situation on vacation where I am placed with others, I'll put on my "work persona" and let the others dominate conversations and I'll just smile do the idle chit chat thing. Some on this thread make it sound like we solos either need psychiatric help or should never set foot on a cruise ship. If my, and other solo cruisers, behavior offends you or will ruin your cruise please post when you are cruising so we may avoid crossing paths.

 

YES!! We are in similar situations. I work in human resources. I am talking, talking, talking all day long to staff and employees and managers. I take lots of group vacations with friends. Once a year, I take a solo cruise to relax, rebuild and read.

 

I'd like to add that at times, I've been forced to sit with strangers that are RUDE to the waitstaff and their fellow table mates. I had to suck it up and keep smiling and making idle chit chat. Ugh!

[DirtyDawg]

The seating alone in the buffet situation has got me thinking. So far commentators have been looking at only one side of the coin - is the reader being rude by continuing to read and not engaging in conversation with the newcomer?

 

But what about the newcomer. This person asked to sit at the table where a person is clearly occupied in reading. Is it rude for this newcomer to expect that permission also included the permission to interrupt the reader by speaking to them?

[Newatt]

The seating alone in the buffet situation has got me thinking. So far commentators have been looking at only one side of the coin - is the reader being rude by continuing to read and not engaging in conversation with the newcomer?

 

But what about the newcomer. This person asked to sit at the table where a person is clearly occupied in reading. Is it rude for this newcomer to expect that permission also included the permission to interrupt the reader by speaking to them?

 

I'm on the Anthem in 19 days. This is going to be my great social experiment! I am going to try out each of these scenarios and report back to the thread. Yeah, no. Who am I kidding? But SOMEONE should do it! Let us know what happens.

[luddite]

I am traveling solo for a 12 day cruise on the Anthem in February. I like to read during breakfast and lunch. I find that I am often seated with strangers and forced to make conversation. Would it be terribly rude if I just read my book and let those who want to chat get on with it?

 

Yes.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

... and it actually got me reading more on true anti social behaviour so it wasn't a total waste of time. :)

 

Awesome! :)

 

LOL. You win the internet today. :D

 

Yay me! I've never won the internet before. Feeling pretty good about that. LOL.

[Newatt]

But, I'm sure they all had unfulfilled lives because--OMG--they were single. :p

 

Lol!!! I feel sooooo sorry for them. ;)

[Newatt]

While I'm not a psychologist, I do happen to have a masters degree in psychology and am a former therapist, and I can tell you with certainty that what the OP is wanting to do doesn't even come close to being defined as anti-social behavior. Nor does he or she need counseling for it. LOL.

 

Yeah, I think you shut that one down!! Lol!

[Quilting_Cruiser]

The seating alone in the buffet situation has got me thinking. So far commentators have been looking at only one side of the coin - is the reader being rude by continuing to read and not engaging in conversation with the newcomer?

 

But what about the newcomer. This person asked to sit at the table where a person is clearly occupied in reading. Is it rude for this newcomer to expect that permission also included the permission to interrupt the reader by speaking to them?

 

If someone approaches me when I'm sitting in the Great Outdoors (that's on NCL for those who aren't familiar) and I'm reading and asks to share my table, I figure they already see that I'm reading. I don't assume they want to chat and I probably want to read. :D I always welcome them to sit there and I greet them with a smile, but I don't feel obligated to make small talk with them. They saw that I was reading when they approached and asked to share my table. They may have chosen to ask me in particular because I AM reading. :p

[Newatt]

Do you feel it's rude for someone to openly (but silently) pray before eating their meal when seated at a table with strangers?

Edited January 31, 2016 by Newatt
left out important words

[sail7seas]

How do you describe 'openly (but silently)?

 

Do they make some big show of it or quietly and briefly think their private prayer to themselves?

 

Or do they expect the table to join hands and participate or something in the middle?

A private prayer should be just that. No need for anyone at the table to know one's private thoughts or prayers.

Edited January 31, 2016 by sail7seas

[GUT2407]

I would suggest speaking with a family member/friend or counsellor regarding this ultimate loner behavior that you describe. Your post actually made me sad.

 

That's nearly as rude as an earlier post about remaining single.

 

I too am a "hermit". I have no desire for anyone else's company/attention, with perhaps the exception of Mrs Gut. I will often go a week or more without asking to anyone other than her. Now that in part is because I am, a times housebound, but even when not it wouldn't bother me if the same situation continued.

 

 

Personally I think those constantly in need of the company of others that are in need of a counsellor as thy clearly aren't happy with themselves.

[GUT2407]

Can figure it out just fine; if someone wants to use a table and they are there first, they can use it. But I am sure people here will claim that if they only have a drink, they should vacate. You know, because things aren't the way they think they should be. Have you read this thread? It is mind boggling the thoughts of some.

 

And yes, I know what icon I selected and what it means. When you hover over them it tells you. Can ya dig it? :cool:

 

So true "my way or the highway" is a constant theme on these boards.