Have you ever missed a "major event" for a cruise???

[LakeWobegon]

So we were all excited about next spring break and booked a cruise for our family of four in the Yacht Club on the MSC Seaside for March. We're all VERY EXCITED. Then today, my wife says "oh, oh no, oh no, oh..." What? Our daughter's first communion at the Lutheran Church we go to is that Thursday night.

 

I will tell you that my daughter would choose vacation. As would the rest of the family. We are active members of our church but we only get so much time to take a vacation and my wife who is a teacher has the same spring break as the kids. We can wait until Summer I guess but that kind of stinks and the warm weather in Minnesota is what we look forward to here. My MIL, pastor and many people at church will think its terrible if we miss.

 

But I look it as there's no real ceremony during church. They just go up and get communion for the first time that night after spending months going to classes and preparing for it.

 

I know there's no right or wrong answer here but just looking for people who've encountered similar scenarios and how the handled it. Thanks!

Edited April 6, 2017 by LakeWobegon

[sail7seas]

So we were all excited about next spring break and booked a cruise for our family of four in the Yacht Club on the MSC Seaside for March. We're all VERY EXCITED. Then today, my wife says "oh, oh no, oh no, oh..." What? Our daughter's first communion at the Lutheran Church we go to is that Thursday night.

 

I will tell you that my daughter would choose vacation. As would the rest of the family. We are active members of our church but we only get so much time to take a vacation and my wife who is a teacher has the same spring break as the kids. We can wait until Summer I guess but that kind of stinks and the warm weather in Minnesota is what we look forward to here. My MIL, pastor and many people at church will think its terrible if we miss.

 

 

 

But I look it as there's no real ceremony during church. They just go up and get communion for the first time that night after spending (and I'm not kidding) half a year going to classes and preparing for it.

 

I know there's no right or wrong answer here but just looking for people who've encountered similar scenarios and how the handled it. Thanks!

Of course you know only you and your family can make this decision. Best wishes.

[Crusin6]

Since there is no real ceremony why can't she receive communion the following week?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[LakeWobegon]

I agree on knowing what's best for our family. Just looking to see how others view it so I can understand the shaming I might get. lol. And yes, I agree. I'm pragmatic about it and should probably just not worry about what others think. As Pitbull, who is a role model for all of us, says, just live your life because you don't live twice. lol

[jchris1230]

I would take vacation. She could do communion on other week, couldn't she? Since there is no special ceremony.

 

Sent from my SM-N920T using Forums mobile app

[SuiteTraveler]

With the way it sounds like your church does First Communion, it sounds like a huge letdown for what should be the momentous occasion of being united with Christ for the first time along with family and friends. It sounds like this may be a Maundy Thursday First Communion but just not done in a special way. I would think you might be able to arrange for her to take her first Communion either before the cruise or after the cruise, either at a different service or privately with your family and even with family friends invited.

The Lutheran Church's guidelines generally recommend Communion before Confirmation,

https://www.lcms.org/Document.fdoc?src=lcm&id=484

so I would think this would not be a huge problem if you explain the situation carefully. I would tell your Pastor respectfully that you are seeking an opportunity to make this First Communion a uniquely special family event as it is meaningful to your entire family and that your intent is to celebrate the event with the cruise. You could explain unfortunately you could only do the cruise where it would fit with the school holidays that unfortunately fall over Maundy Thursday (I'm guessing the date.) I would tell him that you wish that the cruise was not over that date, but that you can't take your daughter out of school for more than 3 days without it turning into a huge problem where you might have to go before truancy court. So few parents nowadays care about First Communion or make a big of a deal of First Communion (although it should be a big deal - between Baptism and Confirmation, it is one of the biggest events in religious life), I would think that if you ask for his help to make this special, the Pastor would help you one way or another so she could go on the cruise in celebration of this Momentous life-changing event. If the Pastor agrees to help with this, I would give a generous contribution of some kind both thanking him for his assistance and showing your support of the process. Then invite everyone in the family to be present, dressed up and make a bit deal of the First Communion, whenever it happens and go out to eat afterwards.

[FireStation46]

Hard to call it either way. Good luck with your choice

[cb at sea]

Take the vacation...she can take communion when she returns.

[klfrodo]

Missed the birth of my Grand Daughter.

Cruise booked to celebrate sons HS graduation way before we knew of the baby.

 

Had the phones and paid the international charges to celebrate the birth from Mexico.

The bar tab was huge that cruise.

[SewMuch]

Making it a family event (when it's convenient for the family) with everyone dressed up and dinner afterwards makes sense to me (and I'm Lutheran.)

[Robinsoncruiseso]

First Communion....I would go on vacation. Now if it was her Confirmation..that would be a different conversation. Perhaps your Pastor could visit the family before the cruise for a blessing and administer her first communion at that time.

[LakeWobegon]

Thanks all. Those are good suggestions. I like that option too. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school, mass 3 times a week minimum. I can recite the Apostles Creed without reading the missal. Anyway, First Communion was a BIG deal. And I mean in terms of ceremony. We wore little suits. The girls looked like they were wearing mini wedding dresses. But while this is Maundy Thursday, it does seem much more relaxed. You wouldn't know it was first communion (they receive it with everyone else) unless the Pastor didn't note it at the dinner after service. I think I will talk to the pastor though my wife thinks he won't be happy about it given he "kidded" us a bit about being gone over Easter two years ago. All we can do is try. You can't please everyone so you have to please yourself.

[Crusin6]

First Communion....I would go on vacation. Now if it was her Confirmation..that would be a different conversation. Perhaps your Pastor could visit the family before the cruise for a blessing and administer her first communion at that time.

 

 

I had a friend whose son was scheduled for confirmation with my daughter

 

The son was not in the parochial school class but in the CCD program at the church but they get confirmed as one group

 

 

They had bought non refundable tix to Florida for spring break before confirmation date was scheduled but in past years it is never around Easter or spring break so no worries she thought.

 

The CCD director...who was a complete disaster and was fired even before confirmation..booked the Bishop to do the confirmation during what would be the public school spring break. (Catholic schools and public schools here were different that year due to Passover dates) so she only looked at the parochial school calendar and not the public school calendar....thus booking the bishop during the public school break which is where the CCD kids come from

 

 

Needless to say the CCD families were rightly upset. Btw bishops are hard to come by and get booked 6 months in advance and won't consider rescheduling

 

 

Ok so my friend has non refundable tix (as did other public school families) what does she do?

 

She just put her son in a different church CCD for that year and he was confirmed 3 weeks later. Lol

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[Krazy Kruizers]

Good luck with you decision.

Do come back and let us know what you finally decide to do.

[LakeWobegon]

Thanks all. We go to a small country church. Doing first communion at a different one would have us excommunicated. lol. Anyway, to our family, we'd totally just reschedule. But to my MIL and our pastor, this would be a big deal, although I told my wife, how do we know until we ran the idea of an alternative date past them. One other kids is receiving first communion that night and again, they just walk up there with everyone else. No special ceremony. But, I am already looking into plan B, which would involve going the second week of June right after school lets out and in that case, we may be able to do a longer cruise and maybe even shake it up and do something like the Meditteranean or Europe other than the Carribean. My spelling is terrible today. And anyway, I am always teaching the kids that sometimes you have to make adjustments in life and it can turn out for the better actually. So, we shall see and I will let you know! Thanks again!

[sail7seas]

Who cares what all the busy body loud mouths w ill think. not any of heir business what decision yorr damily makes and what they feel is best for your family. is whagt matters. When th big mouths are perfect with their God they might not be so busy criitiszinig others. Maybe they should not be speaking ill of their neighbors?

[LakeWobegon]

Ha. I could give a rip less. It's more about my MIL, who lost her husband around Easter last year, and who was like a dad to me. This kind of stuff is important to her and she does a lot for us. So, it's more about her and the pastor. I did ask my wife, what if we took her with us and see if we could take first communion in the ship chapel? : )

[PrettyGirl01]

Go on vacation.

[SuiteTraveler]

I think I will talk to the pastor though my wife thinks he won't be happy about it given he "kidded" us a bit about being gone over Easter two years ago. All we can do is try. You can't please everyone so you have to please yourself.

 

Lake Wobegon, you can use the story of your first communion to good effect in making this request - you want your daughter's to be special like yours was.

 

OR

 

Another idea of how to handle this: Ask the other kid's parent if they have travel plans during this period. If they also have vacation plans and you could approach the Pastor as a group. It would be totally awesome if they also have a trip planned - the Pastor would pretty much HAVE to move the date for First Communion since neither kid would be in town.

Edited April 7, 2017 by SuiteTraveler

[Sequim88]

The Lutheran Church (ELCA anyway) has mostly disconnected first communion from confirmation with many kids doing communion several years prior to being confirmed. So the whole first communion thing is not as big a deal. Our kids all had a class the day before with other kids of whatever age (13 I think then) was eligible then just joined Mom & Dad at regular communion. At our last church in Cottage Grove, MN it was "whenever your kid is ready and wants to" then a little instruction from the Pastor about what it means and that was it. Confirmation was still a bigger event but even then kids often skipped the ceremony part which is really just Affirmation of Baptism. Talk to your Pastor but I would definitely opt for the cruise.

[LakeWobegon]

Thanks. Our Pastor is a little less relaxed. First communion is 6 four hour classes. And confirmation requires class every Wednesday night for two years. And if you miss, the child has to call him to explain why and then make that time up. The thing is, he does a really good job and everyone likes him but he's really particular. It looks like we're leaning toward doing a mid-June cruise instead which actually would let us do a few days at Disney beforehand. So it could all work out. #firstworldproblem

[dce85]

As one who teaches confirmation, I'm pleased that you actually thought ahead to look at the schedule. We do Maundy Thursday as first communion but had a family absent tonight. That family was told the child could commune at any point after tonight. They are inviting family on another date and plan to make it a family celebration. It looks like you found a good compromise. Blessings as you continue the faith journey as a family.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[MicCanberra]

Communion can wait, or do your own ceremony on board the cruise.

[iancal]

Our experience, in the rear view mirror, is that time with children passes quickly. We placed that above all else. I was frequently travelling for business. Travelling with our children on vacation took precedence over many things-including school and church commitments. Having said that we did not celebrate or practice first communion in any way, let alone attend any classes for the matter. So it was not a concern. Nor did we, or do we concern ourselves with what other people think. Never been much for conformity just for the sake of conformity-group or otherwise.

 

We have been to a few family weddings where the ceremony lasted just about as long as the marriage itself. Missing one in June because we are moving...lucky break to have a valid excuse not to attend a family wedding that we don't really want to be at or travel to. We have returned from an overseas land trip to deal with a daughter's health issue. Not such a big deal. Simply pay the airline change fee and we are home. We learned never to buy an airline ticket that had a fare code prohibiting changes.

[GottaKnowWhen]

So we were all excited about next spring break and booked a cruise for our family of four in the Yacht Club on the MSC Seaside for March. We're all VERY EXCITED. Then today, my wife says "oh, oh no, oh no, oh..." What? Our daughter's first communion at the Lutheran Church we go to is that Thursday night. ...

But I look it as there's no real ceremony during church. They just go up and get communion for the first time that night after spending months going to classes and preparing for it. ...

 

See if the pastor will reschedule the whole class to the next week or even later - away from the week when everybody is on vacation...