What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[DirtyDawg]

Then I'll toast Andy Kaufman.

 

You toast Andy and I will toast Monty Python. But I won't burst out my rendition of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." until everyone at the table had all had a few drinks.:D

[Cuervosar]

You toast Andy and I will toast Monty Python. But I won't burst out my rendition of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." until the table has all had a few drinks.:D

 

Exactly.

[davekathy]

As a public service:

 

"Let us be thankful to each other for this good company and let us be grateful to those who grew this food and prepared this meal we are about to share."

 

Another reason we prefer a table for two.

[bUU]

does anyone ever thank McD's or Wendy's workers like that?

If you're saying grace at McDonald's or Wendy's, you surely should.

 

Another reason we prefer a table for two.

I agree. Yet when that's not an option this alternative is far preferable to Dominionism, and it may open some people's eyes on both sides of the matter.

[sailing canary]

I have been reading the latter part of this thread with interest. In over 40 years of international travel - both land and cruise, I cannot ever recall anyone asking for a 'grace' or blessing' at a meal time in any part of the world. Is this a purely a North American cruise line thing?

I cannot understand why anyone would seek to impose their belief system/culture/whatever on a gathering of random strangers whose culture you are ignorant (in the proper sense of the word) of? Why would you think it was acceptable?? Not everyone shares your beliefs.

[bUU]

I have been reading the latter part of this thread with interest. In over 40 years of international travel - both land and cruise, I cannot ever recall anyone asking for a 'grace' or blessing' at a meal time in any part of the world. Is this a purely a North American cruise line thing?

It's probably more like a purely American thing that bleeds over into North American cruise lines.

 

I cannot understand why anyone would seek to impose their belief system/culture/whatever on a gathering of random strangers whose culture you are ignorant (in the proper sense of the word) of? Why would you think it was acceptable?? Not everyone shares your beliefs.

Such arguments aren't convincing to approximately 25.4 percent of Americans.

 

And I think it is best to limit this to Americans rather than "North Americans", since the percentage in Canada is probably closer to 8 to 10 percent.

[Bonnie J.]

Just saw this answer is 500+++ WOW. Time to put it to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

We have no problem with a couple who quietly hold hands, close their eyes and bow their heads and again very quietly say grace or a blessing. We've never has been asked to join them, they just do it themselves.

[davekathy]

...I agree. Yet when that's not an option this alternative is far preferable to Dominionism, and it may open some people's eyes on both sides of the matter.

 

Disagree. Always options and choices. Again you made my case why we prefer a table for two.

[DirtyDawg]

Such arguments aren't convincing to approximately 25.4 percent of Americans.

 

And I think it is best to limit this to Americans rather than "North Americans", since the percentage in Canada is probably closer to 8 to 10 percent.

 

And even less in Mexico, don't forget about Mexico. They are part of North America too!

 

And while we're at it don't forget about all the other North American countries. :)

[Beachdude]

I

I cannot understand why anyone would seek to impose their belief system/culture/whatever on a gathering of random strangers whose culture you are ignorant (in the proper sense of the word) of? Why would you think it was acceptable?? Not everyone shares your beliefs.

 

This kind of stuff is so tiresome. When we travel to different countries, the most common advice for smooth enjoyable travel is to NOT stand out by imposing our personal belief system/culture/whatever or rejecting their personal belief system/culture/whatever on the gathering of random strangers.

 

Because we are all different and different beliefs, we are all imposing on each other everyday. What, do you live in a bubble?

 

I think what you are really saying is that you are intolerant of religion, or other peoples religion. The other cultural stuff is no big deal because it doesn't offend you. So who is really being snobbish?

 

As much as many contributors here like to brag about their hypocritical moral highroad style, the irony of this discussion is that 99.9% of us have never experience this implied hideous imposition in our cruise experience. We must be really deprived of feeling good about ourselves, why else would we make such a big deal about a hypothetical horror in this thread. Shesh.

 

Burt

[bUU]

Disagree.

We'll have to agree to disagree, especially since you don't seem really interested in defending your disagreement in any substantive way. Nice chatting with you.

 

And even less in Mexico, don't forget about Mexico. They are part of North America too! And while we're at it don't forget about all the other North American countries.

Absolutely; this is something that is to a great extent unique to the United States.

[john watson]

The great thing about sharing a large table with strangers is the diverse behaviour they think is absolutely normal and acceptable. I like to listen and observe, of course it may involve going along with some unusual practices during which I might be thinking; these people are a little bit strange or these people are absolute nutters. It can be very entertaining. Whatever; I can keep a straight face, I work in a medical environment. Everybody I have met so far have been very nice people even if they were a bit eccentric. One older male said he ran some sort of internet site where people had fictional on line lives and he was "living" as a younger girl doing various things on line. His wife confirmed this and said it was all just on the internet and people never met up. Apart from this he seemed a completely regular guy. The four Brits on the table thought it a bit strange but funny in the comedy sense while the other US couple who were older did not seem to understand the concept and did not seem to have an opinion on the issue. Other times I have met a couple, who later on the young lady confided in me that they were going out together as a couple and the older man confided that the lady was just his "cruising buddy". I had no political opinion on which was true or any personal interest on the issue. I just thought it was strange but did not affect the smooth running of the cruise at all other than at dining often only one of them attended but it was a table for eight. Naturally I did not refer to this at meal times as it would be problematic.

 

Regards John

Edited September 6, 2017 by john watson

[Itchy&Scratchy]

Not in words precisely like that - but I thank them for their effort - and frequently add to the tip jar,

 

McDonald's and Wendy's don't have tip jars.

They have donation jars - for Ronald McDonald House and an adoption fund.

[CanobieFan]

I really dislike having to share a table in a formal situation. If I'm at the buffet and it's busy and I've already sat and someone asks to sit at my table... I don't mind, but in situations like a formal dining room I really dislike the group atmosphere. I'd rather have a private table or I just don't go.

I personally just keep to myself and sometimes find the group situation awkward

[marchie1053]

I can speak only as a part of a traveling couple (DW and myself) who have spent over 1200 days on numerous cruise ships over decades. While we sometimes will take a 2-top to either be by ourselves or because its the only option, we have long preferred to share a large table. While early in a cruise it might be strangers, on many cruises we will eventually make a few friends and often dine with some of those folks on other evenings. For us, the socialization that can happen at a good table is lots of fun and can be the beginning of a good friendship. Just this past weekend we had a 4 day visit from an English couple (they flew in from England are now on their way back on the Queen Mary 2) that we met on a cruise (in Asia) over 25 years ago. We have twice been to their home in England...and now they have finally made the long trek to our home. We have previously had other guests and its always been fun.

 

In the olden days when everything was fixed seating...we had a few bad tables...but it was just a matter of asking the Maitre'd to please move us elsewhere. But these days we always book Open Sitting schemes (Anytime Dining, Select Dining, etc) which gives us the opportunity to meet more folks. We simple show up when we want to dine...and ask to share a large table. On many cruises we eventually form our own table (after a few days) with others we have met who have a similar desire. Our tables are often a lot of fun and we are often among the last to leave the venue (we dine late). We have only 2 rules for our tables. If anyone starts texting or using their cell phone....we will avoid dining with them in the future. and we prefer not to be at tables with men who think its cool to wear a hat. In my world that is just rude behavior of which we want no part. DW would probably say "they must have been raised by wolves." Perhaps etiquette is dead for many....but not for us.

 

Hank

 

We were on a Table of 8 on an 8 day cruise to the Norwegian Fjords in April 2016. I was the only English person (although I live in Scotland with Mrs M!) - the slightly awkward reserve/best behaviour on the first night lasted for about 20 minutes - nothing raucous or disruptive, something triggered a laugh that rippled around the table and after that, every evening was just very pleasant company, lots of anecdotes and laughter/shared experiences, and the Table Staff joined in too - they said they had never worked with such relaxed and funny individuals - it was a real joy! So much so that instead of killing time on our last day in Newcastle, we booked a minibus and the 8 of us spent a very pleasant day the Beamish Heritage Open Air Museum - a lovely end to a lovely cruise! One that will live for a long time in the memory!

[SeagoingMom]

Profound comment on the value of travel.

What does it imply about those couples who insist on tables for two so they won't have to dine with strangers?

Umm, perhaps that they are using their time alone together to recconnect and strengthen their relationship?

Or that they deal with strangers everyday in their jobs and need a break to be able to go back to work and do their best?

Or that they feel the topics that are best left undiscussed in this context leave them with mostly "small talk" as conversation topics and feel that this sort of superficiality is not to their taste?

Or that they are worldly enough to feel they can take a vacation from the requisite mind expanding that Mark Twain would impose on travelers?

 

People find many benefits in many activities, but even Mark Twain is out of line if he requires someone to participate in those activities in order to attain the same benefits, assumes that that specific activity is the only way to acquire such benefits, or judges someone for seeming not to have gained those benefits. And he would also be completely out of line to assume that if he saw two people dining alone together, that they were doing so with the purpose of avoiding strangers or remaining closed-minded.

[SeagoingMom]

The difference is that religion is a personal and divisive topic, singing waiters are not. If I invite you to a rally for my favorite political candidate, would it be fair to paint you as offended and asocial for politely declining? I'm sorry but saying grace at dinner just does not have anything to do with dancing waiters or singing happy birthday. They are very different things, no matter how broad a brush you wish to paint with.

Oh yes they are! They annoy me exceedingly, and I wish to have nothing to do with such displays -- especially while having dinner.

One's personal opinion on what is personal and divisive is just that -- ones' own personal opinion -- and should not be assumed to be universal.

[SeagoingMom]

It is hard to imagine anyone being uncomfortable with this - as much as anything else, it is thanking tablemates for their company.

One who defines prayer ("table grace") as communication with the Almighty might well be uncomfortable with this if it is proposed as a substitute for such communication.

 

In addition, based on the tenor of this thread, it seems there might be quite a few who would not feel thankful at all for the company of their tablemates! ;)

[navybankerteacher]

As a public service:

 

"Let us be thankful to each other for this good company and let us be grateful to those who grew this food and prepared this meal we are about to share."

 

 

The above is simply a joint statement made by people sitting around a table - hardly definable as a prayer or a communication with the almighty.

 

Of course it should not be imposed upon anyone objecting - but to call it a prayer is absurd.

[davekathy]

We'll have to agree to disagree, especially since you don't seem really interested in defending your disagreement in any substantive way. Nice chatting with you...

 

This is exactly why I choose not to share a table and I'll leave it at that.

"I will admit that as a worship leader I am prepared to do my part in that regard. If someone at the table asks about saying grace, I am ready to say, "That's a great idea; would you mind if I did it?" Then I would proceed to offer an interfaith blessing that would resonate with all religious perspectives, and even with those who hold no religious perspective".

[bUU]

The above is simply a joint statement made by people sitting around a table - hardly definable as a prayer

False.

[navybankerteacher]

False.

 

 

I'd be interested to see you definition of "prayer" - and of "false".

[bUU]

I'd be interested to see you definition of "prayer"

Your categorically brazen declaration that it was not a prayer indicates that you wouldn't be interested in anything that doesn't fit with your person definitions for such things. You've made it very clear that trying to help you understand online would be a waste of time. Maybe if we're face to face on a cruise ship someday you'll be less brazen in categorical dismissing of perspectives that don't fit well with yours and I can share some insights.

[navybankerteacher]

Your categorically brazen declaration that it was not a prayer indicates that you wouldn't be interested in anything that doesn't fit with your person definitions for such things. You've made it very clear that trying to help you understand online would be a waste of time. Maybe if we're face to face on a cruise ship someday you'll be less brazen in categorical dismissing of perspectives that don't fit well with yours and I can share some insights.

 

Give it a rest!

[bUU]

Give it a rest!

You're the one who posted what you posted. Perhaps you should take your own advice.