Cunard Queen Victoria Review - Greek Isles July 2017

[ToadOfToadHall]

...dressing up for mediocrity became tiresome after 3 days,

 

Oddly, this very comment was being discussed only last night between myself and Mrs Toad. The point raised was that the standard of dress when one goes out to eat in a restaurant generally reflects the food being served, so why are people expected to wear (or indeed want to wear) Black Tie/Evening Gowns to eat the level of food being presented in the main dining room ?

 

So your comment is spot on. I mean, I like dressing in Black Tie, but I'd not do it to visit McDonalds.

[SonofTertius]

Oddly, this very comment was being discussed only last night between myself and Mrs Toad. The point raised was that the standard of dress when one goes out to eat in a restaurant generally reflects the food being served, so why are people expected to wear (or indeed want to wear) Black Tie/Evening Gowns to eat the level of food being presented in the main dining room ?

 

 

 

So your comment is spot on. I mean, I like dressing in Black Tie, but I'd not do it to visit McDonalds.

 

 

 

Very true Mr Toad. I assume that some passengers are probably so taken aback by the pomp and ceremony that they tend to not remember the mediocre food and drinks. For others food is probably not that important. I guess it depends what they dress up for. Some dress up for themselves, other dress up for others. In future, I would rather cruise on a ship which is less formal and have 50/50 ratio of casual vs formal nights (note casual, i.e. no jacket required), with Michelin quality food on formal nights (and having to dress in black tie) and something perhaps less sophisticated during casual nights. The fact of the matter is that even in ultra luxury hotels these days, people are not required to wear jackets in their public areas nor their 3 Michelin star restaurants. Note that I do not have an issue with looking smart or dressing up - it's just the whole jacket thing which boggles my mind. I'd still be very happy if jeans are not allowed during any of the nights. Smart trousers and long sleeve collared shirts would work for me - I'd still look smarter than some of the garish black tie concoctions I'd seen people wear on the most recent QV cruise. There was a guy with a black and white formal outfit who reminded us of Beetlejuice. I guess the dressing up has become a bit like a nightly themed event (think Royal Ascot or Downton Abbey) rather than a lifestyle trend. Halloween jumps to mind.

[cruiseluvva]

I'm just surprised you stuck out the seven nights!

[SonofTertius]

I'm just surprised you stuck out the seven nights!

 

 

 

I really tried to make the best of it [emoji6]

[Victoria2]

I'm just surprised you stuck out the seven nights!

So am I. If I had disliked it as much, I'd have jumped ship and got a flight home but what a trooper SoT is to have stuck it out!

I've found the review really amusing so far and luckily for Cunard, even if Tertius' son, and Mr Toad by the reading of his posts, decide not to travel with the company again, there will be enough of us who find the pomp and ceremony adds so much colour to our dull little lives that we'll continue to keep the company afloat by booking year on year.

I loved the nuts in the handbags comment as I have seen similar and I found many of the comments so far, very sharp and on the button especially the books over faces when passengers are catching up with some zzzzzs . There are other comments too which had me nodding my head and smiling wryly but what I won't accept is any analogy between Queen Victoria and all who sail on her, and Hyacinth Bucket!

I am wondering if Tertius' son has been reading too many comments from some Cunard regulars who would have you believe Cunard is a cut above everything else. It's not. It's a premium product but primarily, it's a way of cruising which has more formality of dress in the evenings than most of the other lines, as one of its selling points.

There's nothing wrong with a jacket requirement for evening dinner or dinner suit/black tie for the chaps and cocktail/ long dresses for the ladies for the more formal evenings if that's what the dress code advises and prospective passengers book with that in mind. Expect gourmet levels of food, you have to pay for it and I'm pretty sure most of the Cunard cliental do not expect the equivalent of a 3* Michelin restaurant, or even 1*. If they do, they need their heads examining. Considering the numbers involved at the two sittings, the main dining restaurant is mass catering. The Fat Duck does not have to cope with hundreds and hundreds of people sitting down to dine in a short space of time and as far as I'm aware, they don't have a dress code. Cunard does. It's widely advertised and it is what it is.

As for McD's and black tie [Mr Toad mentioned McDs], I have eaten fish and chips, burgers and other less than gourmet foods in a ball dress, never mind a long dress on Cunard. The occasions asked for it and I complied. Admittedly it wasn't at any of the Golden Arches' establishments, but it was burger and chips and fish and chips.

 

SoT mentioned decor. The decor of any establishment is extremely subjective. I haven't sailed with Victoria since her refit but the last time I saw the Britannia restaurant [my passport was being checked] the decor looked absolutely fine. Nothing special, fairly neutral and likely to offend very few.

Travel in Queen's Grill and the dining becomes more of an experience but even then, I have been assured there are cruise lines which offer just as good a dining experience. Great. I'm glad to hear it, but they don't offer what I look for which is why we stick with Cunard. SonofTertius , I value your comments. Your wit makes excellent reading but I don't have to agree with all you have to say.

I look forward to the next installment. :)

[SonofTertius]

Fair points about the decor, Mrs Bucket and Michelin Stars, Victoria - it's all a bit subjective and I understand that Britannia is not The Fat Duck [emoji6]

 

Thank you for reading (and enjoying) - it truly didn't have an extremely awful time and tried making the best of it. Her ladyship is perhaps just not for my taste.

 

Next instalment due on Friday evening. Happy sailing [emoji12]

[Victoria2]

Fair points about the decor, Mrs Bucket and Michelin Stars, Victoria - it's all a bit subjective and I understand that Britannia is not The Fat Duck [emoji6]

 

Thank you for reading (and enjoying) - it truly didn't have an extremely awful time and tried making the best of it. Her ladyship is perhaps just not for my taste.

 

Next instalment due on Friday evening. Happy sailing [emoji12]

 

Thanks SoT.

I'm glad it wasn't a totally awful time. I'm protective of Her Majesty as I have such wonderful cruises on her but I can appreciate she's not to everyone's taste. :)

[ToadOfToadHall]

Next installment due on Friday evening. Happy sailing [emoji12]

 

And it's now Saturday morning....

 

I'm all eyes, waiting for the next episode !

[SonofTertius]

And it's now Saturday morning....

 

 

 

I'm all eyes, waiting for the next episode !

 

 

 

[emoji4] Sorry Mr Toad. Was catching up with friends last night. Tomorrow lunchtime [emoji6]

[ToadOfToadHall]

It would seems that cruise ships would rather ask ridiculous prices for their services and have their crew stand around not doing much as opposed to selling services at reasonable prices and thus creating experiences for guests who would perhaps then come back again and become regular punters. No, not on Cunard. They are so. Obsessed with having the premium, exclusive label that they would rather have empty outlets 'proving exclusivity' as opposed to a business model which makes profit and creates regular return customers.

 

I like that observation. I call it "council thinking". Where I live, the council would rather charge such high rents and rates that shops stand empty, rather than reduce said rents/rates and have a business take over a building. It's just the same on cruise ships.

[SonofTertius]

I like that observation. I call it "council thinking". Where I live, the council would rather charge such high rents and rates that shops stand empty, rather than reduce said rents/rates and have a business take over a building. It's just the same on cruise ships.

 

 

 

It makes me think of your Mrs May review [emoji6]

[SonofTertius]

Part 4 of 5

 

Activities, Entertainment, Events

If shuffleboard, jigsaw puzzles, chess, bingo, pub quizzes, knitting, cross-stitching, watercolour painting, Tiddlywinks and prayer circles is your kind of thing; Cunard could be perfect for you. Apologies if I offend anyone by thinking that I was stuck in a time-looped episode of 'Waiting for God'. I get the fact that there's a select demographic which might enjoy these activities and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with it however, there's an array of people on the ship and treating everyone like they are Diana Trent might send some of us to an early grave. I bet if they had lawns on the promenade deck we'd probably have to ad horseshoe, ring-toss and croquet to the above list. As I have been writing the review over the past week, mulling over my experience on the QV, I am always pulled towards the thought that the 3 Cunard ships could just as well be additions to the themed Disney Cruise Line fleet - they wouldn't even have to repaint the livery, maybe just ad a couple of cartoon effigies to the stern of the ship. Disney because in my opinion, QV (and her sisters) are ultimately themed ships. I'm not sure what the theme is, but based on their onboard activities it certainly seems like something from pre-WW2. It felt like I was in a museum. An interactive museum for that matter. Museums are nice for a few hours but people soon tire of them.

 

Entertainment on board came in a similar prehistoric form and you should prepare yourself for harp, piano and violin recitals. These methods of 'entertaining' people are nice for a candlelight supper or riparian entertainments (now and then) but having to spend a week in an enclosed space, out at sea with 3000 other people and nothing else to be entertained with, might be literally pushing the boat too far. The poor harp playing woman is probably as fit as a fiddle. Her daily programme consisted of 2 hours in the lobby, then up to the Lido deck, then to the winter garden, then back to the lobby, then back to the winter garden and then to one of the bars. I couldn't keep up but, saw her around every corner I turned. Up and down she went all day. At some stage I thought she might have perhaps been a clone. Also, please do not tell me that people enjoy listening to a harp 24/7, 365. On some occasions when I saw her plucking away in the winter garden, there were literally no one listening, apart of course from the nappers, but most of the time their hearing aids were laid out on the coffee tables and they had heavy books covering their faces. I know that Cunard is perhaps a niche market, but like myself, others are genuinely fooled by their advertising portraying the experience as elegant and refined. It wasn't. It was boring and repetitive and if you don't conform with their guidelines, you are left to feel excluded from the whole experience. Not a very good business model in my opinion. The ship is comfortable and I'm perhaps giving her less credit than what she deserves however, she made me feel like a second class passenger and that to me raised more than a few red flags. Restrictive is the word I was looking for. Cunard is restrictive. Like a public boarding school full of rules and regulations.

 

Apart from going to watch the odd movie twice during the journey, we didn't bother going to the Royal Court Theatre. Main reason for this was that you needed to sit there for 2 hours suited and booted after having eaten a stodgy meal without feeling uncomfortable to the point where you had wanted to make a noose for yourself with your necktie. Having said that; the theatre is beautiful. It is probably the 'sexiest' area on the ship. It needs a bit of work though. Some of the seats have seen better days and the media equipment is probably from 2007. Based on the odd movie we experienced there, only one of the 4 surround sound speakers were working and the movie kept getting stuck at a certain point; they then had to restart the whole thing and we sat through the beginning of King Kong three times. I almost know all of the actor's lines now. Also, it being a movie and Cunard hoping to create an experience, why didn't they serve small bags of popcorn or provide a couple of Godiva (which they are VERY proud of because there's posters all over the ship about this supplier) chocolates to enhance the film experience. Some of you would probably question watching movies on a ship. I mean, why not go to the pub quiz or a $130.00 champagne tasting instead?! Well, there were many people in the theatre during the movies, more of an audience than the poor guy who were talking about drug smuggling in the Mediterranean had. Nevertheless and again; the movie experience was a restrictive experience - almost as if it was a shame that were were there and not listening to the harps and pianos.

 

Some people I had spoken to, did really enjoy the live shows. If I remember correctly they had a couple of acrobats one night playing with some ribbons and ropes, the other night a musical set in post war New York and France (or something) and on one of the final nights, a comedian who also hosted some of the 24 pub quizzes during the journey. Maybe it was for the best that I didn't attend. Oh and before I forget; there was another guy, no idea who he was, that gave lectures about Stuart Rose from M&S - a good two hours of that. I would assume that the excitement of this session would have set the unmistakable tone for the post 6pm Royal Ascot theme, in unadulterated proportions.

 

 

Dress Code

Formal for men = penguin suit with bow tie or, a dark suit and dark tie (funeral style) - be prepared for some underhanded glares if you are not wearing full fledged black tie during formal nights. I assume that the dark suit indicates that you have an obstructed view or windowless cabin. Ahem! Apologies; stateroom.

 

Formal for women = think Princess Anne during a state banquet, minus the crown. There were some lovely dresses - no sarcasm here, promise.

 

Informal for men = think post funeral in the pub. Still dressed in your suit, but minus the tie. Or, for those who are a little more adventurous; Friday afternoon in the House of Commons, just about ready to leave the office.

 

Informal for women = think Beatrice and Eugenie at William's wedding. Yes, I did see a few fascinators (type of hat).

 

In the dress code's defence, it is perhaps good to mention at this stage that anything goes in any area before 18:00 - which is helpful, otherwise I would never have seen most of the ship and would have been stuck on deck 9 for the whole week.

 

For others who really couldn't be bothered after 3 days (like yours truly) you are really able to push the casual-look to the extreme in the Lido restaurant on Deck 9 - flip flops, shorts, t-shirts, pyjamas. No one judges you there. Just don't dare to take the lifts or midship stairs! You are bound to bump into the formals in these areas and unless your skin is made of steel, the piercing stares, shaking if heads and tut-tuts are bound to scar you for life. I used the stern stairs and a quick dash up from the 4th desk left me breathless but still in tact. If you really need to take the lifts, pull a paper bag over your head and hope for the best. PS: I knew exactly what I was getting myself into in terms of the dress code before we booked and I'm in no form blaming the dress code for not enjoying my experience. I also understand that there are people who enjoy dressing up and book Cunard purely for its 'formality' - that's fine too. My qualm is that other (more relaxed) liners (like Princess) have formal nights and cater for the formals. Why does Cunard which is a formal line not have a couple of smart casual nights to cater for the more casuals. Even one would do. The we could all just relax a little. (Part 4 of 5)

Edited July 29, 2017 by SonofTertius

[Host Hattie]

If you were onboard for 7 days in the Greek Isles, how many sea days did you have ? There isn't much planned for port days as it's assumed most passengers will be off the ship.

 

I realise you are exaggerating for comic effect and it is very amusing, I just hope people who haven't yet travelled with Cunard don't take this too seriously.

[ricki]

If you were onboard for 7 days in the Greek Isles, how many sea days did you have ? There isn't much planned for port days as it's assumed most passengers will be off the ship.

 

I realise you are exaggerating for comic effect and it is very amusing, I just hope people who haven't yet travelled with Cunard don't take this too seriously.

 

Agreed, Hattie! His "humour" is painted with a large brush. I really wonder how credible a rather scathing review of the QV can be after only 7 days onboard.

 

There are certainly any number of cruise ships, also within the Carnival family of brands, where one might feel more at home. After all, some people are more comfortable in a ship without a dress code, without any enrichment except port shopping lectures, with "entertainment " of hairiest chest and best belly flop contests, and with food that is like a plated fast food restaurant. To each his own.

 

Ricki

[HelloKittysMum]

I think you had a different experience than many of us as you were on a cruise with ports where there is less entertainment as people are ashore. On voyages with more sea days (eg transatlantic crossing but also cruises down to the Caribbean where there are about 8 (4 +4) sea days) we have found the talks to be excellent. Favourite was Roger Mcguin who did two talks (and played/sang) about his career from the folk clubs in the 60s to the present day and then did a q and a (again with music). His stories of San Francisco in the late 60s and early 70s really brought the songs to life (And his Bob Dylan impression was fab!) We also enjoy the quizzes, free art class, bridge (and if any of the men in my family would come with me) and dance lessons.

 

As I said before each to their own. I like low key entertainments. Our first cruise was on another line and I hated the loud music and forced "fun" at the pool on sea days.

 

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[SonofTertius]

If you were onboard for 7 days in the Greek Isles, how many sea days did you have ? There isn't much planned for port days as it's assumed most passengers will be off the ship.

 

 

 

I realise you are exaggerating for comic effect and it is very amusing, I just hope people who haven't yet travelled with Cunard don't take this too seriously.

 

 

 

We had 2 sea days Hattie. I don't see how much else they could have planned, sea days or not. We spent all the port days off the ship for as long as we could. We stopped at some really great ports and that was a plus.

 

I am adding comic but not exaggerating - I'm only calling it how I saw it. We are all different and some would think me being over the top, others would identify like they have done so far. It is Cruise CRITIC after all [emoji6]

[SonofTertius]

Please understand that my review is not an attack on the die hard Cunardians. It is my account of my experience on a ship in which I felt uncomfortable in. Some of the people here might have a similar experience on a EasyCruise, for instance. If you read carefully, it's not all negative but some of the issues should be looked at by Cunard for everyone's benefit.

[SonofTertius]

Agreed, Hattie! His "humour" is painted with a large brush. I really wonder how credible a rather scathing review of the QV can be after only 7 days onboard.

 

 

 

There are certainly any number of cruise ships, also within the Carnival family of brands, where one might feel more at home. After all, some people are more comfortable in a ship without a dress code, without any enrichment except port shopping lectures, with "entertainment " of hairiest chest and best belly flop contests, and with food that is like a plated fast food restaurant. To each his own.

 

 

 

Ricki

 

 

 

Cunard is incredibly lucky to have customers who'd stand up for the brand like you all are. Each to his own, as you say.

[milamber]

We've sailed with 8 different cruise lines, 25+ cruises, ranging from 7 to 60 days. All different, some better than others, but never had a bad one. Can never understand why some people travel simply to fault find and then think that other people will find their observations worthwhile or interesting. Sure Cunard have some issues, like all lines, but heck, it's supposed to be a holiday. Perhaps if you treated it like one you might come home with a smile instead of high blood pressure. I read this because we are on the QV next year and I thought it might be interesting. It's not.

[SonofTertius]

We've sailed with 8 different cruise lines, 25+ cruises, ranging from 7 to 60 days. All different, some better than others, but never had a bad one. Can never understand why some people travel simply to fault find and then think that other people will find their observations worthwhile or interesting. Sure Cunard have some issues, like all lines, but heck, it's supposed to be a holiday. Perhaps if you treated it like one you might come home with a smile instead of high blood pressure. I read this because we are on the QV next year and I thought it might be interesting. It's not.

 

 

 

I wish you a fabulous cruise. Part 5 of the review will be out on Monday covering the pool decks, shops, ports, overall ambiance and of course, the conclusion [emoji16]

[Pennbank]

Please understand that my review is not an attack on the die hard Cunardians. It is my account of my experience on a ship in which I felt uncomfortable in. Some of the people here might have a similar experience on a EasyCruise, for instance. If you read carefully, it's not all negative but some of the issues should be looked at by Cunard for everyone's benefit.

 

I agree with you in some respect, Love your report with the humour and wholeheartedly feel sorry for you with the expected flack your getting. Some people will always defend Cunard no matter what they do.

However I also like travelling with the brand but I do worry that Since the refurb Cunard seem to have gone over the top on all three Queens attempting to "fleece" the passengers with what they call extras. Calling the Gratuities "Service Charge" and reducing what used to be 1.5oz normal measure of their spirits at the Bar that they used to supply and now also charging for the soda gun,

Time will tell whether this will work within Cunard Brand. It certainly putting me off and my friends from travelling so often with them.

Perhaps its what they want , to become premium again, But I agree that the advertising bears no resemblance to the actual journey. Those beds need bums on them, but at what cost. Time will tell if their latest strategy is working.

Edited July 30, 2017 by Pennbank

[roscoe39]

If you were onboard for 7 days in the Greek Isles, how many sea days did you have ? There isn't much planned for port days as it's assumed most passengers will be off the ship.

 

I realise you are exaggerating for comic effect and it is very amusing, I just hope people who haven't yet travelled with Cunard don't take this too seriously.

 

thanks Hattie - exactly what i was thinking as i reached not just for a grain of salt but rather the whole cellar.

[Pavovsky]

What is interesting about this review is that he is raising the same criticisms as others. Look at the reviews and other threads.

 

- price of drinks. The double pour. 14 dollars now for a large G&T including the tip?

 

- price of the spa. The prices are obscene and as a result this is not an amenity for most guests.

 

- quality of the food. Over-cooked, over-seasoned, lack of choice.

 

- cut-backs on entertainment.

 

Further, there can be no excuses for having to restart the movie and the speakers not working or the water dispenser in the gym.

 

Other aspects such as the formality of the ship and the pub quizzes are subjective. Some like and some hate. And perhaps this review will discourage people who may not enjoy themselves.

 

There are legitimate failings that Cunard should address. In some ways, I am now managing my expectations for the QM2 in December.

[caztaylor]

I always read the cruise reviews with interest and it has helped my wife and I select our cruise QV 12Aug 17 - 7nights Rome to Trieste. Britannia Balcony. Primarily we look at the itinerary and the views travelling in and out of the ports. Also we like to do our own thing onshore so having Brindisi, Kotor, Dubrovnik and Venice are ideal. We then investigate which cruise lines do that itinerary and see what they offer and don't offer. Yes I agree that not wearing a jacket in the heat of the Med on informal nights would be preferable and drinks should be cheaper but we were aware when we booked of the type of entertainment (we don't like the rock climbing wave machine ice skating ships) and the dress code and we accept them. We intend to sign up for the soft drinks package and order the odd cocktail. Again we are not expecting gourmet food but some reviews are complimentary and others not. FYI we are not seasoned cruisers and have only completed a 2 nighter on P&O Britannia. Last year we had a balcony on Emerald Princess but as my wife was hospitalised to days before the cruise we had to cancel so we are looking forward to our week away - maybe some posters don't do sufficient research before hand but I also recognise that things can happen on a day which can cause genuine disappointment.

 

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[brian1]

Im,getting worried now.This sounds like Cunard is P&O acting like Mrs Bucket.