Just a Rant - we should be happy with what we have instead of what we dont

[IntrepidFromDC]

You know, losing someone special in your life who you used to share all that with always puts things in a different perspective, or at least in most cases it does. Or even being a single mom who struggles daily. A vacation is what you make of it, no matter where you are. You yourself can be the only one to make the choice to be happy being alive and appreciate what you do have, or to complain about the inconsequential materialistic things that so many people have come to feel entitled to. Yes we pay a lot of money to go on these vacations so we expect things to be perfect. But perfection, as is beauty, is in the eye of a beholder. I am a single mother who lives paycheck to paycheck. I struggle, save, cut back, all just so that I can make sure that I can take my children on vacations and give them experiences that they will remember for the rest of their lives. "things" that are given as gifts for birthdays and holidays, those items while appreciated briefly at the time that they are given, tend to soon be forgotten, and in most cases people forget who even gave them those things or they get lost or broken and again just forgotten. But experiences like cruises or going to other destinations that you don't typically go to on a daily basis... those are priceless and unforgettable. Look at the face of a child or loved one as you drive up to the port, walk onto the ship, do things in port, etc.. tell me that excitement and joy that you see on the faces of those loved ones does not far outweigh the materialistic things that are complained about when they are not as perfect as we want them to be, and I will show you a cold hearted person who is never happy no matter what you do. For me I live to see the joy and excitement on the faces of everyone around me as opposed to being worried about how long a line is to get some food, or someone left a plate of food out in the hallway outside their door, or there is no longer table cloths on the tables every night in MDR, who cares!! Pay attention to the things that should matter, enjoy those around you, make things better for yourself by choosing to be happy with what you have rather than being so angry about what you dont have.

 

A few years ago I read a study that was compiled by several major universities in a joint effort and it more or less quantitatively proved what you are qualitatively stating - that travel, although leaving nothing material for the expense paid, is generally considered more valuable than a similarly-price material purchase, years after the purchase is made. The study was a long read, but compelling and convincing, almost unanimous. That being said, I do wish they didn't take away the tablecloths but if that's what it takes to keep cruising a value proposition over other vacation choices, well, I'll just eat at the specialty restaurants when I can afford it. Your observation of cruising and life was an enjoyable read. Thanks.

[angeleyez915]

I am about to go on my 19th cruise. Never have I been on a perfect cruise, and some cruises we have had some "wrong" things happen, when those things happened it always gave us something to laugh about or joke about. We have made the most of it.

Some people complain about the attire of others in the MDR. We will dress nicely, but not nearly as nicely as we used to--tuxes and evening gowns. We've never worn shorts or casual items. Others do, and We don't care. We are with the people we want to be with, and what others do doesn't concern us. We go to other restaurants on land and people wear casual clothes. Do you really want something like that to ruin your vacation?

We have taken our children on 13 cruises, and now they are all adults, but we have some of the very best memories on the trips we have taken.

I am very happy to see the rest of the people who have responded positively to this rant. I would love to cruise with you! Life is what you make of it and so are cruises!

 

 

Awww thanks!! I would love to meet you too. I see that you are going on the Imagination soon... one of our waiters on my Triumph cruise back in April just started a tour on the imagination, he is awesome, fun, and a sweetie, you should ask for him and tell him Gloria said hello, his Name is Wayan Bagler !!

[Etta1213]

I was encouraged by reading this thread. I need to have a "compass correction" sometimes. There is no real joy with a negative attitude.

[OCruisers]

I respect your post but I don’t totally agree with it. I see nothing wrong with people expecting a certain level of service or a certain level of passenger decorum on their expensive vacations, and voicing their opinions when those expectations aren’t met. Everything in life is about perspective and this is a public forum about cruising, not life’s lessons.

 

I don’t intend for this post to be negative toward you, op. I just think the message might be a little unfair to those who are disappointed in cruise line changes and passenger behavior.

 

Rather agree with you!

While we never over expect ... we never under expect.

[IntrepidFromDC]

I was encouraged by reading this thread. I need to have a "compass correction" sometimes. There is no real joy with a negative attitude.

 

I was, too and it was really beneficial as I've been following some really negative threads lately. Compass correction is an elegant way of saying what everyone needs from time to time. :)

[mdwcruises]

Shows how different people are.

 

While I take all reviews with a grain of salt I find reading negative reviews and complaints much more beneficial so I know what to watch out for and to adjust my expectation accordingly.

 

Rave reviews are fun to read for sure but less useful as I don't need to read about how cruise lines deliver exactly what they say in big flashy ads that they are supposed to deliver.

Edited September 27, 2018 by mdwcruises

[Bobbylah]

Rather agree with you!

While we never over expect ... we never under expect.

 

I tend to sit on both sides of the discussion. I apply your thinking at work, so people who don't meet expectations, typically get shown the door pretty quickly.

 

As a family we do value the trips more than material gifts. We are lucky to have an extended family get together every two years, which started right when I started dating my now wife back in the late 90s. Started in Hawaii, then Thailand, France (Paris and an awesome canal barge trip, where we rented two barges and did the Loire Valley I believe it was). Then people started having kids, so we scaled back on the distant trips and went to the Bahamas, Isle of Palms a few times, Portugal, and most recently 3 weeks in Italy (one in Rome and 2 in a villa in Deruta, Umbria). I know my kids always talk about these trips and not about the Xbox they received for Christmas or other minor gifts that lose their shine pretty quickly. We never begrudge spending on the trips (I do get a little cheesed off though at some of the junk we do buy for the kids for birthdays and Christmas!)

[RWolver672]

Shows how different people are.

 

While I take all reviews with a grain of salt I find reading negative reviews and complaints much more beneficial so I know what to watch out for and to adjust my expectation accordingly.

 

Rave reviews are fun to read for sure but less useful as I don't need to read about how cruise lines deliver exactly what they say in big flashy ads that they are supposed to deliver.

 

We are just the opposite of you. We find that if someone points out a negative on a ship, we will look for it. Had we not read about it ahead of time, we probably wouldn't even notice it.

 

Case in point, before going on the Victory years ago, there was a posting about rust around the balcony door. When we got to our cabin, I looked and sure enough, there was rust. Had I not read that ahead of time, I never would have even looked for it let alone noticed it.

 

We learned a long time ago to just go with no expectations. Then we aren't disappointed if it doesn't happen.

 

I totally agree with the OP about how you treat the crew. Quite often I will be standing in a check out line and the person in front of me is giving the check out person a hard time. When it's my turn, I will always make a joke that I promise not to give them a hard time. That breaks the ice and immediately the person lets you know it was appreciated.

[ricew001]

Thank you ! So do I... Both my parents are in poor health, my dad was recently put on Hospice, I would give ANYTHING to have my parents be able to go on a cruise with me, I so envy all those out there who get to take their parents on a cruise with them. I spend as much time with both my parents as I possibly can right now especially knowing that my dad isnt going to be with us much longer. He has struggled for so long with his illness, and I know that each day he holds on is torture for him. I hate seeing how much he struggles just to walk a few steps, these things that we all take for granted, will all be gone in a flash. We need to learn to be more kind to each other, appreciate what we do have and understand that one day we wont have those things or people that we love so much. When those people are gone, what is left? Empty inanimate objects that are cold and uncaring. Things do not make us happy, not in the long run.

 

I have worked in some sort of a customer support / service capacity for over 20 years. You would be really surprised at how above and beyond someone like me will go for those who come to me with kindness, understanding, and patience over someone who immediately starts with attitude and anger. We do understand that you are calling in because something is broken or you arent happy with something for some reason, thats why we are here, thats our job, but it is not me specifically who caused the issue to happen. I am here to help try to make it right for you, so give me that opportunity without judgement and I promise you i will do everything in my power to find the solution that will help you. Its the same with our cruises, if you have something that is wrong and have to go to guest services or your room steward or even the cruise director. Go to them with patience, smile and say please and thank you, let them know that you understand that its not specifically their fault that something is wrong, explain the issues with facts rather than emotion. Tell them, hey, when you get a chance can you please take a look at this issue and see what can be done to fix it.. i promise you that 99% of the time they will get on it immediately when you come to them with apparent patience. And when it does get fixed, say thank you, show appreciation!

 

Wow we have so much in common. I spent 12 days with my Mom in hospice in 2013. The year before that my Dad coded in front of me but was thankfully revived. My father in law died this spring and my MIL is bedridden with dementia. (I also work in a customer support area.) This weekend should be my parents' 56th anniversary. Instead my Dad is placing 56 red roses on her grave.

 

Every time we get to cruise I feel so lucky that we are 1) healthy enough to cruise together 2) can afford to cruise together 3) can take time off work and life to do it! 4) still have each other.

 

Thank you for the post. Too bad we can't tag the whiners in it. ;p;p

 

Like others said, I hope you can take a great cruise vacation and enjoy it soon. Hugs

[sturderick]

Best cruisecritic post I've ever seen.

[Daytonasailor]

I dont totally disagree with you, yes I believe that we spend a lot of money and our expectations can be high because of that. I do agree that someone who finds that something is wrong should ask to have those things corrected within reason and do so respectfully. What is wrong with using patience, kindness, understanding, please, and thank you when asking for something to be fixed? When you are standing in line at guest services waiting to talk to them about an issue, dont get angry because the line is long. Wait for a better time to go, or even use it as an opportunity to be kind to others in line and brighten someone else's day by smiling at them, say hello, meet a new friend you would be surprised at how fast that 20 minutes in line will go when you are having a fun conversation with someone else. This post is about making the best out of any situation as much as humanly possible. It's about realizing that sometimes life is too short to be so unreasonably angry about something that is inconsequential. My last cruise wasnt perfect. I had an issue with my sail and sign not letting me in my room one night, had to change my card 3 times that night. But instead of being angry or irritated by it, I turned it into a funny joke and even laughed with the people at guest services... in will tell you that by me being understanding and patient with guest services that night, when I needed something else the next day, it was taken care of very fast.

 

Agree with you. Few years ago I got stuck in a snowstorm in the midwest while returning to florida. Flight cancellations for snow were new to me and I wasn't to bothered by this. The airline had us line up at the counter to provide hotel rooms for us. I'm a retired police officer and the conduct I saw from some of the passengers bordered on disorderly conduct. They were really giving the girl at the counter a hard time. When I got to the counter, I told the girl that she was doing a good job and that the delay was not her fault. She smiled for the first time and asked me if I would like to stay at the Hyatt Regency along with the crew. I said that would be fine and got on the special bus with the crew. The hotel was first class and seemed to be a lot better that the other passengers were going to. I don't know if the treatment was in kind for what I gave, but I like to think it was.

[TEXSUN46]

In my 55 years I can't think of any one negative thing about any vacation, though I am sure each one had some things that did not meet expectation or was not perfect but I am not going to dwell on those things. I spend my hard earned money to enjoy a vacation and that is what I choose to do, It would be an awful feeling at end of a vacation to feel that your time and money were wasted, and most complaints we here, see or read are based on perception. Cruising is not the exclusive, privileged activity it once was. Really I think all the budget oriented cruise lines do a good job considering they are continuously running. They do a pretty good job of making you feel you are doing something special even though they are doing it every week of the year with a different group.

[mdwcruises]

We are just the opposite of you. We find that if someone points out a negative on a ship, we will look for it. Had we not read about it ahead of time, we probably wouldn't even notice it.

 

 

 

Case in point, before going on the Victory years ago, there was a posting about rust around the balcony door. When we got to our cabin, I looked and sure enough, there was rust. Had I not read that ahead of time, I never would have even looked for it let alone noticed it.

 

 

 

We learned a long time ago to just go with no expectations. Then we aren't disappointed if it doesn't happen.

 

 

 

I totally agree with the OP about how you treat the crew. Quite often I will be standing in a check out line and the person in front of me is giving the check out person a hard time. When it's my turn, I will always make a joke that I promise not to give them a hard time. That breaks the ice and immediately the person lets you know it was appreciated.

 

 

 

See exactly what I was saying. People are different. I find negative reviews more useful and you don't.

 

I am not easily bothered by little things and 90% of reviews, positive or negative, mention things I know that won't affect me. But when the few negative reviews mention things I think will have negative impacts I watch out and learn from them. And some have been extremely beneficial.

 

I want to see all sides but especially the negatives. That's what I am here on Cruise Critic, not any cruise line fan clubs.

[Bert64]

Shows how different people are.

 

While I take all reviews with a grain of salt I find reading negative reviews and complaints much more beneficial so I know what to watch out for and to adjust my expectation accordingly.

 

Rave reviews are fun to read for sure but less useful as I don't need to read about how cruise lines deliver exactly what they say in big flashy ads that they are supposed to deliver.

 

I do the same thing! That way I'm not surprised. So, if it happens, I was prepared and/or knew it was coming. If it doesn't, then great!

 

As long as my room is not flooded and they don't run out of food, I'm not going to sweat the small stuff. There's a lot you can choose to be petty about. In the grand scheme of things, is it going to be that big of a deal when you look back on your cruise years from now?

[kctwinmommy]

Yep!! Is there always room for improvement on cruises, of course. Are things perfect? Of course not! But are they things that make or break my vacation? Nope!! We've always enjoyed our vacations.

 

 

 

We are also in a similar situation, having lost a child 5 years ago. Our son knows we do these things because we know all too well how short life can be. We're fortunate that we can afford to take the vacations we do though. We want our son to enjoy life, learn things, and know that you should do the things you want to do, when you can do them. It's great that you're doing what you can to get out there as well. I hope you continue to have the chance to travel and see things! And honestly, a little adversity in your travels can also be a teaching lesson!

[evandbob]

There is always a balance - and an event like a cruise is indeed remembered by the attitude we have about it. While we count our blessings and enjoy them, we shouldn't have to settle or accept sub standard things that rub us the wrong way,

 

I do try to avoid being a polyanna or a curmudgeon about any of my vacations.

 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

 

Courage to change the things I can,

 

And the wisdom to know the difference.

[Bernardo62]

WOW.....JUST WOW

You just open a lot of eyes!!!

I Thank You for this...

You hit it out of the park and then some!!!

I do a lot of sarcasm on here but this was AWESOME.....

[YankeeFan4Ever]

Excellent post OP!

 

My mom raised me as a single mother and saved as much as she could so that we could share vacation experiences together. That was nearly 30 years ago and we still have very fond memories of those vacations. Bringing your kids with you on a cruise is awesome and worth all the sacrifice! I'm sure you will make lifetime memories!

 

Enjoy your cruise!!! :)

[maxydu]

Everyone has their own life story but how individuals react to the up's and down's in life determines their persona.

My family just returned after being evacuated from the coast of NC due to hurricane Florence. There were so many levels of devastation. We have friends who have trees down in the middle of their homes which are no longer habitable and others like us who had roof damage, fence damage, broken lights, soffit and trim ripped away. Folks died and others were injured. It's during these times when the best and the worst come out in people. Most people began working on their own issues but soon thereafter neighbors were helping each other. Then there were looters.... There were tears and laughter throughout most days. It may be years before our community regains it's sense of normalcy. The main lesson learned from this disaster is that this is just "stuff". Life and health are clearly the main concerns. Loosing memories of loved ones who have passed rates a close second because those memories can't be replaced.

DW and I are trying to keep things in perspective as we are booked on the Sunshine Nov 1, 2018. That is our light at the end of the tunnel and I can guarantee you......a little rust, long lines, slow food service, and slight inconvenience won't mean a hill of beans. We're happy to be healthy enough to cruise soon and we'll get to our house damages AFTER the folks who are truly desperate have their needs met. Keeping things in perspective may even add a few years to this special thing we have called LIFE.

Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a chainsaw?.........................Nuff said.

[Lottacruises]

Nice post, thanks for sharing!

[oldguysandgalls]

Thank you angeleyez915, thank you for your down to earth and realistic post.

Thank you!

From ''oldguysandgalls''

[bakersdozen12]

I feel the same way you do. I constantly get accused of being a “Carnival cheerleader” just because I try to point out to people that the things that they complain about aren’t that big of a deal. I grew up poor and we never went on vacations as a family. When my son was young, I couldn’t afford vacations on just my paycheck. So now that I am living comfortably, I travel as much as possible. And I enjoy every moment. No cruise that I have been on has ever been perfect. But, life is rarely perfect. It’s just much more pleasant if you focus on the good things and not the imperfections.

 

 

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[Cozzette3]

Thank you for a great post.

I have like many of us who have cruised for a few years have seen some cutbacks. But, prices have remained pretty consistent .

I look at it like this, I am on the ocean. I have my husband all to myself. No work phone calls, no dishes to do no cooking. Tableclothes are lovely, not having one, not a deal breaker , Im still not cooking.

I think that to be able to relax, see other countries and make some new friends is a blessing that most of the world will never experience .

Perfect, hardly anything ever is But some of those imperfections are what great stories are made of

[Joebucks]

Love your post! As I gear up for my next one in two days, I was thinking about how fortunate I was. How fortunate that I have someone to enjoy it with, that I can afford it, that I'm healthy and even alive to be able to go. There are so many people who have none of these things. I couldn't imagine such a life!

 

There's a big difference between something legitimately going wrong and the miserable people who complain about everything, and try to justify their negativity. No one gives a crap about "your hard earned money". We've all worked hard for our money. For every "inedible meal," there's 10 people who loved that same meal. For every complainer who had their experience ruined by tableclothes, there's 20 other people enjoying their time without even noticing it. And on and on.

 

I'm sorry but the complainers are just unhappy people. Take offense to that all you want. I have friends and family members that are complainers. I still love them, but they tend to be unhappy often. They are contributing to their own problems. Lighten up and have a good time. No one likes a busy body,

[Hillbillygram]

Well said!!