Changing Mindsets: From Saving and Investing to Enjoying What You've Worked Hard to Save and Invest

[bennybear]

5 hours ago, BamaVol said:

I saved while I was working, especially after the last kid moved out. We retired 4 years ago and live on our annual income from pensions and social security. We don’t have any debt or much in the way of bills. 
 

We meet with our financial advisor every year to make sure our goals haven’t changed and to see if we want to lower risk or increase returns. This year, he told us that our money would continue to grow and if we had no other plans, we would be leaving quite a bit to our children. In essence, he was telling us we could afford to spend much more than we do. We already travel when we can and neither of us needs or wants anything. So, my wife emptied her closet, donated it all to a thrift store, and announced she was going shopping!

Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to be told you can spend more,  reward for being careful for years!  
may have to experiment with some small cruise lines.  

[crystalspin]

10 hours ago, BamaVol said:

We meet with our financial advisor every year to make sure our goals haven’t changed and to see if we want to lower risk or increase returns. This year, he told us that our money would continue to grow ...In essence, he was telling us we could afford to spend much more than we do. 

Ours told us the same! We went and bought a magnificent home! (This was in 2020, when our plans to travel in retirement were put on hold.)

[shipgeeks]

I just came across this thread last night.  My brain has been on overtime ever since.  We have so much in common with many of the thoughts....and some not so much.

I intend to post some of my own thoughts.  Will try to keep them brief.

Background:  We, too, were frugal throughout our youth and working years.  (I allowed myself one new garment a year during college, to be able to pay my tuition.)

I discovered my life calling at 39: becoming certified and teaching fitness classes. Taught at a university; decent pay but no benefits.  Added a regular job there, in medical research; poor pay but outstanding benefits, which we now realize have us set up for life.

But so far, our efforts to spend are meager.  Primarily, I no longer "fret" over the cost of things.  If groceries, and utility bills, seem ridiculous, I just let it go.  If I run out of the reduced-price transportation vouchers, I just use full-price ones.

To be continued....

[Clay Clayton]

Just finished book that is worth reading IMH, "Die with Zero".  It is really more applicable to younger folks, but helped me realized the path we are on is the right one. Was the final straw that let me let go of my fears about the future and book the World Cruise this January😀

[shipgeeks]

Our dilemma, re how to spend all the $$ we now have.

Being on a cruise ship, preferably at sea, is our best bliss.  We have been upgraded from inside cabin to balcony; realized we do not like having a balcony.  OV is perfect for us.  Suite?  I don't see any reason to want one, especially if it has a balcony.  We have done most of the excursions we ever wanted.  Not interested in spa services or other onboard extras.

Over our first 60 or so years, we travelled to and/or lived in Europe, UK, Mexico, Australia/NZ, Nepal, Malaysia, Thailand, all across the US, and more.  We are more than satisfied with having done that, and not anxious to do more land or air travel.  We have flown first class; it was nice but still requires showing up at the airport, sitting in a seat, and other uncomfortable elements.  No real wish to do any more.

I gave up driving at 40, as a gift to myself, getting rid of something I disliked.  DH gave up his license at 80; our one car went to grandson.  No interest in having an RV, or having to travel to a resort or hotel.  The good life is either here at home, or on a ship.  We are doing four cruises a year.

[Clay Clayton]

1 hour ago, shipgeeks said:

Our dilemma, re how to spend all the $$ we now have.

Being on a cruise ship, preferably at sea, is our best bliss.  We have been upgraded from inside cabin to balcony; realized we do not like having a balcony.  OV is perfect for us.  Suite?  I don't see any reason to want one, especially if it has a balcony.  We have done most of the excursions we ever wanted.  Not interested in spa services or other onboard extras.

Over our first 60 or so years, we travelled to and/or lived in Europe, UK, Mexico, Australia/NZ, Nepal, Malaysia, Thailand, all across the US, and more.  We are more than satisfied with having done that, and not anxious to do more land or air travel.  We have flown first class; it was nice but still requires showing up at the airport, sitting in a seat, and other uncomfortable elements.  No real wish to do any more.

I gave up driving at 40, as a gift to myself, getting rid of something I disliked.  DH gave up his license at 80; our one car went to grandson.  No interest in having an RV, or having to travel to a resort or hotel.  The good life is either here at home, or on a ship.  We are doing four cruises a year.

Take me along?😂

 

 

[bennybear]

@Clay ClaytonLove this thread, the  Book sounds good and a World cruise!  Ooh!   I just read the Description of the book and it seems to align with my philosophy.  I lost my brother at 30 so I realized life is Now,  not retirement.  I put it on hold at the library, lol! Still frugal I guess. 
 

The one who leaves with the least wins, lol!   
 

Also on a more serious note, it’s also nice to help the kids now when they really need it if you can afford it.  I remember my parents buying a new washer dryer when we had our first child,   I think I appreciated that more than a much larger inheritance when I really didn’t need it. 
 

@shipgeeks just curious why you don’t like a balcony? It’s interesting when I think of the tortoise and the hare,  we are similar, didn’t make the really big bucks but that guaranteed income has made things very pleasant for us.   Sounds like you have travelled a lot along the way! Way to go! 
 

Happy travels in what ever way you wish! 

Edited August 29, 2023 by bennybear

[Clay Clayton]

1 hour ago, bennybear said:

 Description of the book and it seems to align with my philosophy.  I lost my brother at 30 so I realized life is Now,  not retirement.  I put it on hold at the library, lol! Still frugal I guess. 
 

Also on a more serious note, it’s also nice to help the kids now when they really need it if you can afford it.  I remember my parents buying a new washer dryer when we had our first child,   I think I appreciated that more than a much larger inheritance when I really didn’t need it. 
 

@shipgeeks

I also borrowed it from the library 😂

 

one of his chapters is something like, "what about the kids?"  In it he makes the point you do, better to help/give when they need it rather than when they have money of their own. 

[shipgeeks]

Anybody care to share the premise of the book, before I order one on ebay (ranked by lowest price, of course)?

[CDNPolar]

1 hour ago, shipgeeks said:

Anybody care to share the premise of the book, before I order one on ebay (ranked by lowest price, of course)?

 

Essentially this book challenges what many of us - me included - were raised to think, that you have to work hard, save, and pay everything off before you relax.  (This is how I was raised anyway...)

 

This book challenges this and guides you to how to enjoy your money and not put everything away for the golden years or a rainy day.  It is about creating memorable experiences as you go.

 

I have not read the book but have read some lengthy reviews of the book and I have been practicing a similar philosophy for many years now because I watched my mother and father kill themselves building the nest egg - with the children in mind too - but then not being able to enjoy it because serious health issues kicked in before they could enjoy it.  My father was work, work, work, sick, sick, sick, then he died.  He never experienced any personal joy and benefit from his hard work.

 

We don't have children, so we are in a different mindset when it comes to leaving anything behind.  Our goal is to literally die with Zero left and our financial planner helps us to realize how we can draw on our investments to do just that.

[shipgeeks]

Thank you, CDN.  I'm not sure we fit the intention of the book, but will explore further.  My big question at the moment, thanks to this post, is how to spend what we do have.

Example:  I do enjoy some shopping, but prefer the adventure of charity stores over department stores. In the past year or so, I have bought two fabulous cruise dresses, and a purse I've been wanting for years.  Total for the three: under $20.  A drop in my bank account bucket, and a drop in the bucket of the charities, even when I rounded up.  (But I have doubled - or more - my annual contributions to my chosen charities.)

I am just not finding any luxury goods or services I want, or that will improve our quality of life.  I tried some high-end shampoos and lipsticks; found that I preferred my cheap old classics.

Both our local laundries/dry cleaners are gone, so we no longer have that little luxury of DH's shirts being washed and ironed.

We have more than enough "things" (artwork, rugs, furniture, appliances) in our home, so we don't want more.....so what can we spend on?

[bennybear]

Everyone is different, but it’s not a badge of honour to do without and deprive yourself of something you really want if you can afford it.  We have friends who fall into this camp and will leave a very large inheritance.  As our age creeps up, the horizon comes nearer.  
 

I learned a lot from my parents, my dad grew up in the depression and it made it almost impossible for him to spend any money.  He saved everything and loved going to Hawaii,  but we had to buy the tickets without his full knowledge.  You could only borrow money for a house, period.   My mother taught me the importance of donating to charity,  she didn’t have a large income but faithfully donated her entire life and from her estate.  
 

We’ve always been about experiences rather than things.  I have always loved to travel and that has been a priority in our family.   New cars didn’t come until much much later in our lives.  
I am grateful to have more than enough, so we follow my parents examples.  

[CptBoatface]

On 8/28/2023 at 7:22 PM, Clay Clayton said:

I also borrowed it from the library 😂

 

one of his chapters is something like, "what about the kids?"  In it he makes the point you do, better to help/give when they need it rather than when they have money of their own. 

This 100%.  Lived many years where my visiting family (all high paid professionals) meant spending 2 months worth of all my disposable income. Not something they understood. Nor were they willing to visit. 

Even modest distributions would have helped greatly and allowed me to keep my pride by not asking for help. Which I wouldn't have done unless I was hungry. 

 

 

[bennybear]

On 8/31/2023 at 1:32 PM, CptBoatface said:

This 100%.  Lived many years where my visiting family (all high paid professionals) meant spending 2 months worth of all my disposable income. Not something they understood. Nor were they willing to visit. 

Even modest distributions would have helped greatly and allowed me to keep my pride by not asking for help. Which I wouldn't have done unless I was hungry. 

 

 

So important!  

[shipgeeks]

On 8/28/2023 at 8:33 PM, bennybear said:

 

@shipgeeks just curious why you don’t like a balcony? It’s interesting when I think of the tortoise and the hare,  we are similar, didn’t make the really big bucks but that guaranteed income has made things very pleasant for us.   Sounds like you have travelled a lot along the way! Way to go! 
 

I've been pondering this very valid question ever since you posted it.  I hope my thoughts provide at least a bit of clarification.  I'm very aware that Lobster and Balcony are the two essentials for a great number of cruisers.

When we booked our first cruise, in 1991, none of the ships we were interested in had balconies. Being frugal, we decided on an inside cabin, but the TA refused to book us unless we took an OV.  We did, and we loved it.  Being close to the sea, right outside our window, was great.

Over the next ten years we had some inside, and some OV. Some of the insides were right across the hall from a door to an open deck, and we spent a lot of time out there.

Cruise #28 was to be Alaska, just before retiring from the job I didn't especially like but which provided outstanding lifetime benefits along with its low pay.  Still frugal, we booked an inside, but circumstances led to us being moved to a balcony.  We were thrilled!  But when we got there, we were a bit dismayed at how dark the room always was, with the steel "tunnel" around all four sides of the glass door. The sea wasn't there. When we went out onto the balcony, it felt like such a limited view of one side of the beautiful world out there.  So we spent all day, every day, on the sunny upper decks, taking it all in.  At the end of the ten days, we had spent a couple of hours, one time, on the balcony, freezing and damp.  

Then in 2020, we booked a Caribbean cruise, 14 nights, for which balconies were cheaper than OV. Still frugal, we took the balcony.  We still had expectations of an enhanced experience.  It wasn't. 
Great cruise, but every time we thought "Let's sit out on the balcony" we just found it an unrewarding inconvenience.  Whether in a port or at sea, it just was not something we enjoyed.  We did enjoy all the excellent outdoor public spaces around the ship, as well as the inside ones.

As we all know, balcony doors cannot be left open, even a tad, so having fresh air in the cabin is not something to be gained by having a balcony.

So now we know ourselves, and have had a lot of OV cabins, frequently on Deck 4, but occasionally on 3.  The sea and sky are right there; sometimes I sit right in the window and just gaze.  The exception to that is our two experiences in forward-facing OV cabins directly under the Nav Bridge. Outstanding!  We got the same wide views the officers have on the Bridge.  The only downside was that at night, our curtains had to be closed tight, which meant we couldn't star-gaze.  We loved those cabins, but in the long run, I think our absolute favorite is an OV, cozy, private, and comfortable, and low enough to be able to see the ocean right outside our window.  And that is still the case even now that I am trying my best to spend the $$ we find ourselves with.

 

 

[CDNPolar]

11 hours ago, shipgeeks said:

I've been pondering this very valid question ever since you posted it.  I hope my thoughts provide at least a bit of clarification.  I'm very aware that Lobster and Balcony are the two essentials for a great number of cruisers.

When we booked our first cruise, in 1991, none of the ships we were interested in had balconies. Being frugal, we decided on an inside cabin, but the TA refused to book us unless we took an OV.  We did, and we loved it.  Being close to the sea, right outside our window, was great.

Over the next ten years we had some inside, and some OV. Some of the insides were right across the hall from a door to an open deck, and we spent a lot of time out there.

Cruise #28 was to be Alaska, just before retiring from the job I didn't especially like but which provided outstanding lifetime benefits along with its low pay.  Still frugal, we booked an inside, but circumstances led to us being moved to a balcony.  We were thrilled!  But when we got there, we were a bit dismayed at how dark the room always was, with the steel "tunnel" around all four sides of the glass door. The sea wasn't there. When we went out onto the balcony, it felt like such a limited view of one side of the beautiful world out there.  So we spent all day, every day, on the sunny upper decks, taking it all in.  At the end of the ten days, we had spent a couple of hours, one time, on the balcony, freezing and damp.  

Then in 2020, we booked a Caribbean cruise, 14 nights, for which balconies were cheaper than OV. Still frugal, we took the balcony.  We still had expectations of an enhanced experience.  It wasn't. 
Great cruise, but every time we thought "Let's sit out on the balcony" we just found it an unrewarding inconvenience.  Whether in a port or at sea, it just was not something we enjoyed.  We did enjoy all the excellent outdoor public spaces around the ship, as well as the inside ones.

As we all know, balcony doors cannot be left open, even a tad, so having fresh air in the cabin is not something to be gained by having a balcony.

So now we know ourselves, and have had a lot of OV cabins, frequently on Deck 4, but occasionally on 3.  The sea and sky are right there; sometimes I sit right in the window and just gaze.  The exception to that is our two experiences in forward-facing OV cabins directly under the Nav Bridge. Outstanding!  We got the same wide views the officers have on the Bridge.  The only downside was that at night, our curtains had to be closed tight, which meant we couldn't star-gaze.  We loved those cabins, but in the long run, I think our absolute favorite is an OV, cozy, private, and comfortable, and low enough to be able to see the ocean right outside our window.  And that is still the case even now that I am trying my best to spend the $$ we find ourselves with.

 

 

 

Each has their own reasons for booking the cabin that they do.  Some will be price, some will be to have more space, some will be for a balcony.

 

The truth is that for me having a balcony is kind of to alleviate a certain claustrophobic feeling that I have when in a cabin without.  I have cruised in cabin without balcony, but don't like it.

 

Our first river cruise cabin was - as I call it - in the basement with a window that was at my shoulder height.  That meant to me that from shoulder height down we were under water!  Yikes!  I made it through this cruise because I had to but I had to not think about the window and where we were when in the cabin.

 

We are not ones that sit on the balcony endlessly or even enjoy our morning coffee on the balcony.  We are ones that go to the decks to get the 360 view of where we are more often than look out our cabin window or balcony...  BUT after Covid and the stories of folks that were locked in inside cabins for weeks, now I don't think I could ever cruise without at a balcony on an ocean ship and a Juliette balcony on a river ship. 

 

Again, everyone has their reasons and their needs and that is why there are so many options!

[shipgeeks]

Well, this is discouraging.  My attempts to Die With Zero are being thwarted.

My most recent grocery bill was $60, following my previous one of $100.  My most expensive item was $3+; every other item was $1+ or $2+.

Then the cashier at the other store gave me the senior discount without any hints from me.

And the beautiful, high-end pajamas I decided to treat myself to, after reading this thread, are not available in my size.

[MamaFej]

2 hours ago, shipgeeks said:

Well, this is discouraging.  My attempts to Die With Zero are being thwarted.

My most recent grocery bill was $60, following my previous one of $100.  My most expensive item was $3+; every other item was $1+ or $2+.

Then the cashier at the other store gave me the senior discount without any hints from me.

And the beautiful, high-end pajamas I decided to treat myself to, after reading this thread, are not available in my size.

I imagine you can find some fantastic charities that align with your values. 

You might want to check Charity Navigator (dot) org  which will give you an excellent idea of how well they use donations. 

[shipgeeks]

On 9/3/2023 at 12:43 PM, MamaFej said:

I imagine you can find some fantastic charities that align with your values. 

You might want to check Charity Navigator (dot) org  which will give you an excellent idea of how well they use donations. 

Agreed!  We have found CN to be very helpful when we had airline miles to donate, as well as our ongoing $$ donations.

[bennybear]

Well finally got Die with Zero out of library, lol!    I think I have been inadvertently following this,  I learned in my early thirties we have one life to live and it’s finite.  My parents taught me the value of donating to charity and to helping your kids when they need it 

 

I think I appreciated the new dryer they bought me when we had our first child more than a lot of cash when I inherited.    
 

Hope all are well and enjoying spending a little more. 

Edited January 11 by bennybear

[Clay Clayton]

We are currently onboard Viking’s World Cruise which we booked when emailed a promotion that cut the price significantly that happened to arrive a few days after finishing “Die with Zero”. Coincidence?😂

[bennybear]

50 minutes ago, Clay Clayton said:

We are currently onboard Viking’s World Cruise which we booked when emailed a promotion that cut the price significantly that happened to arrive a few days after finishing “Die with Zero”. Coincidence?😂

Fantastic!   Do enjoy!  

[crystalspin]

1 hour ago, Clay Clayton said:

We are currently onboard Viking’s World Cruise which we booked when emailed a promotion that cut the price significantly that happened to arrive a few days after finishing “Die with Zero”. Coincidence?

There are no coincidences!!!

[crystalspin]

After cancelling our Hawaii-Tahiti trip over worries about others' health back home (already had the replacement trip booked), it was time to arrange flights and hotels for Voyage of the Vikings (R/T Boston) and a B2B2B in the Mediterranean. Using long-time accumulated credit card points. 

 

Maybe because it was points and not dollars, I was able to look at the bigger picture and choose more convenient hotels and no red-eyes, only one short lay-by (last leg of one of the trips and no other choice). 

 

I think it was good practice for future bookings: minimizing stress levels in the airports and achieving a level of comfort in lodging.

 

Edited March 8 by crystalspin

[BamaVol]

We are still relatively busy despite being retired. Can’t travel whenever we feel like it. The stock market has been quite kind to us over the last year. So, we are taking family with us on our next cruise. We are used to booking a condo at the beach and sharing with kids and grandkids. This seemed like a natural next step. I booked a mini suite and they will be right across the hall in an inside. Next year, who knows?