How do you get up the nerve to speak to fellow passengers?

[RedgeToo]

So sorry to hear about your loss.

 

I love solo cruising and find the easiest way to meet people is to simply say hello especially when sitting at a bar or in a restaurant.

 

If there's a solo event, I go to them and listen to people, chipping in where appropriate. If there isn't a solos event, I will just ask people if I can join them if the bar is full. The the bar is quieter, but I like it, I will sit down and say yes when anyone asks if they can have the spare seats.

 

Simply saying "yes" a lot gets you far on a cruise! 

 

On my last cruise, I got friendly with a 70 year old woman, a 22 year old man, and a 28 year old woman.

 

Coming up, I'm booked on MSC from Barcelona for Christmas and P&O from Barbados to Southampton in March 23.

 

Happy days!

 

Enjoy your cruise.

[dwc13]

Condolences on your loss. 

 

Full disclosure, I've only been on a cruise ship with my wife. So not solo in the truest sense of the word. That being said, we often do our own thing at breakfast, during the day on sea days, and when I'm at the casino -- so I'm basically a solo traveler during those times, lol. 

 

One of the best places to strike up a conversation is at trivia. It's an excuse to talk with others! There are usually quite a few teams with less than the maximum number of players allowed (if such rule exists). Many teams only have 2 or 4 players. Since a larger team generally has a better chance of getting more correct answers, most will gladly welcome additional players. So take the initiative and ask to join a team. In between questions, it's easy to ask about excursions, upcoming ports and what to do, past/future cruises, favorite places to travel, where everyone is from, etc. 

 

Another great place to strike up a conversation is at the buffet, especially breakfast. Why breakfast? It's easy to talk about plans for the day or the upcoming port, the ship's specialty restaurants & shows, and mundane things like the weather. My wife often skips breakfast but I need that all important meal. So I'll end up eating alone at the buffet, at least early in the cruise before I've met others. If people are seated near me, I'll say good morning and ask where they are from. If applicable, I'll comment on a cap/sweatshirt, especially if it's college football season. I have found most people enjoy sharing their opinion/knowledge about cruises and excursions they have taken, as well as the places they visited. 

 

If you see 2 people taking pictures of each other, offer to take a picture of them together. They can also take one for you if desired. Selfies, while they can turn out decent, generally aren't nearly as good as when a third party takes the picture. I was outside on an upper deck watching the sail away from Boston when I noticed an officer and his SO standing next to me taking turns shooting pictures of each other. I offered to take their picture, which they very happily agreed to. I took several just in case (since the sunlight was less than optimal). About 20 minutes later, I saw the same couple seated at a table enjoying a bottle of wine. There was also a small bud vase with some flowers on the table. As I walked up, they saw me and I jokingly commented I could now take a proper picture. Took several with both of their cell phones this time, which was greatly appreciated.    

 

I learned to play pickleball during our recent cruise on Zaandam just by showing up at the court one day and watching people play. Met several really nice people that way. All of us had a great time playing pickleball. We scheduled sessions to play throughout the cruise. Later many of us got together for music trivia. 

 

It's good to have discussions with various crew members throughout the stay aboard. Favorable passenger comments about crew members go a long way to landing the next contract, promotions and a spot on a better ship/route. Sometimes a crew member is having a tough day and it helps when someone is willing to listen. A few days into the cruise, I talked with a waiter at the buffet when it wasn't busy. We talked about the usual -- where he was from, how long he had been with the cruise line and ship, as well as how the food was for the crew. Turns out the food was pretty good on his ship because this cruise line employed cooks from Indonesia and Philippines to cook for the crew from those countries. Since it was a port day, I asked if he would be able to get off the ship; he wasn't. I also inquired what he bought on port days when he was able to get off the ship. We typically buy things such as decent chocolate bars and other in-demand items for crew members who were at the top of their game. I bought a small magnet and gave it to the waiter since he collects them from every stop the ship makes -- something I found out while talking with him.  

 

Finally, most passengers on a cruise will be in a very good mood. Almost all are on vacation -- and who doesn't love being on vacation? So strike up a conversation with the people next to you during sailaway. Even if they're wearing a TTUN sweatshirt.  

 

Edited October 30, 2022 by dwc13

[shippmates]

I have also found myself sailing solo this year.  It has been a huge change but I have adjusted after a few solo cruises.  I love to talk to people about travel and cross stitching.  While on a long QM2 cruise, I met a wonderful couple on the deck.  She was cross stitching so I had to stop to see what see was making.  It turned out we had lots in common and spent lots of time together onboard.  

Please book a large table in the dining room.  That is a great way to get to talk to many different people on the length of the cruise.  The cruise lines do a great job putting like people together at a table.  When I say that I really mean it.  I was on the QM2 to have a burial at sea for my husband.  The Captain did an awesome job.  I had 5 other persons at my table and we had so much in common, they attended my husband service and I had only know them for 3 days.  What a blessing they were and still are.

 

Just day Hi and smile at people as you pass them on deck.  You will never know what that little word can mean for you or for the other person.

 

Enjoy your cruise!  I know you will be able to meet people to spend sometime with.

 

Happy Holidays

[shadow 123]

On 8/26/2022 at 1:37 PM, amyemilia said:

You can do it! 

I'm really not a mixer. I don't drink so I don't go to the bars. But I really love to travel. I met wonderful wonderful people on cruise  ships . So far ,thank heavens, I have  enjoyed myself. 1 of my 1st cruises was a 38 day world cruise.

Edited February 27, 2023 by shadow 123

[Z'Loth]

On 8/7/2022 at 7:05 AM, Hflors said:

I am a widow and alone for the first time in my life.  I am terribly shy around people I don't know.  I have booked on a world cruise and am now struggling at thought of making friends. Anyone have some strategies for 'breaking the ice" and talking to strangers?

 

My condolences on your loss, and my congratulations for tackling this challenge. I would join the Roll Call for the cruise which you are taking here on Cruise Critic. That way, you have a bunch of people who you already "met" online, and finally get to meet in real life.

[calliopecruiser]

5 hours ago, shadow 123 said:

I don't drink so I don't go to the bars.

You can go to the bars, even if you don't drink alcohol (unless you're too tempted by an addiction, in which case I'm sorry for an inappropriate suggestion).  They can make any number of "mocktails" like a Virgin Mary, Seedlip and tonic, or a Nojito, or you could just order an iced tea or soft drink while sitting chatting, reading, or watching the crowd. 

[cruiser3775]

Glad to see this thread is still ongoing. I was an early contributor, before my first solo cruise, and was encouraged by all the positive comments to go ahead with it. 

Although I had doubts beforehand, I loved my first cruise,and am now booked on two more. I didn't expect to make lifelong friends, but I enjoyed good conversations with people. I especially appreciated being able to dine with a group of people, as there's nothing sadder than sitting in a restaurant alone, reading a book.  I didn't opt for a fixed time and group, just turned up outside the most busy meal times and asked to share.  I got tables for six to eight people mostly, and had some great conversations. Even if you didn't have much in common with the other diners, it was interesting to listen and talk to people you might never meet otherwise.

I'm off on a New Zealand cruise next week, and I would encourage other wavering solo cruisers to try cruising.

[Honolulu Blue]

1 hour ago, cruiser3775 said:

there's nothing sadder than sitting in a restaurant alone, reading a book.  

I can think of a hundred things sadder without breaking a sweat.

 

On my personal patheticness scale, either reading a book or seeing someone else do so barely rates. But it's interesting that you think so, and I'm sure you're not alone.

[cruiser3775]

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

[Honolulu Blue]

2 hours ago, cruiser3775 said:

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

Fair enough. I still don't agree. I've dined in many restaurants solo on my life and seen many others do the same. I don't apply the sadness label to them and I hope it's not applied to me. Because it's just not true.

[Lois R]

WOW...really? I agree with Honolulu Blue.........there are many, many, MANY sadder things than dining alone. I could name some of them but won't as it would be getting WAY off track from the topic. 

But to give 1 example, some of us live alone and eat alone every day........if you think I am sad because of that? I am glad we are all different that is for sure.  I dine on my own all the time. Please don't be sad for me.......I am not sad for myself.  Not everyone has a mate/partner/ SO.........life brings everyone different versions.  I also don't apply sadness to seeing someone dining alone. I don't know what is going on in their life and why perceive it as sad? They might be happier than you could ever imagine😀

[shadow 123]

12 hours ago, cruiser3775 said:

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

You get used to it. I used to think it was pathetic as well when I was younger. But you get used to it .Especially on a cruise ship. It's expected. Actually there are times I'd rather be alone. I have  refused people that asked  me to join them because I just wanted to spend some downtime with myself. Quiet time, you know

Also, I'm an older woman. Maybe it's an age thing.

Edited February 28, 2023 by shadow 123

[shadow 123]

10 hours ago, Honolulu Blue said:

Fair enough. I still don't agree. I've dined in many restaurants solo on my life and seen many others do the same. I don't apply the sadness label to them and I hope it's not applied to me. Because it's just not true.

When I was younger , how do I explain this, I always wanted to be able to go into a restaurant by myself and have a meal. I just didn't have what it took to do that. But a lot of people I knew were able to go into a restaurant by themselves and enjoy nice meal and I envied them. 

Actually, there was a time when I couldn't do anything alone. I always had to have an entourage. That's no longer the case thank goodness. My friends were way ahead of me in that area. They were always self  sufficient.

I am grateful that I am at  a point in my life where I can do things on my own. I don't have to stay home because someone else doesn't wanna go. It's very freeing. Hope that made sense

Edited February 28, 2023 by shadow 123

[Lois R]

1 hour ago, shadow 123 said:

When I was younger , how do I explain this, I always wanted to be able to go into a restaurant by myself and have a meal. I just didn't have what it took to do that. But a lot of people I knew were able to go into a restaurant by themselves and enjoy nice meal and I envied them. 

Actually, there was a time when I couldn't do anything alone. I always had to have an entourage. That's no longer the case thank goodness. My friends were way ahead of me in that area. They were always self  sufficient.

I am grateful that I am at  a point in my life where I can do things on my own. I don't have to stay home because someone else doesn't wanna go. It's very freeing. Hope that made sense

It makes total sense........(to me anyway)😀

[shadow 123]

2 hours ago, Lois R said:

It makes total sense........(to me anyway)😀

Thank you Lois

[periodic itinerant]

On 2/27/2023 at 11:31 PM, cruiser3775 said:

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

I actually often enjoy dining alone with a book. Not always - I often like company and conversation, but part of my "getting away from it all" vacations involve solitary enjoyment of meals.

 

I agree that it would be sad if you are really wanting some interaction, but wanted to toss in another voice that it isn't necessarily a sad thing and I wouldn't want anyone to pity my chosen solo meals.

[billslowsky]

On 2/28/2023 at 2:31 AM, cruiser3775 said:

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

It beats the heck out of not traveling.

[cruiser3775]

Thanks for all the comments and messages of support.  I guess my reluctance to dine alone is because I have had decades of dining as a couple, but now I am getting used to travelling solo.  It's the conversation I miss when dining, not the problem of being alone, which I am happy enough to do most of the time. Since I posted the first comment in February, I've been on another cruise, and tackled the dining alone problem again, in speciality restaurants. Prefer the shared tables in the MDR. But yes, it gets easier with practice.

[calliopecruiser]

On 6/11/2023 at 9:00 PM, cruiser3775 said:

It's the conversation I miss when dining,

Sure, but dining alone in a restaurant is better than the alternative of not going out at all, and it's better than being ignored by everyone else at a shared table (IMO). 

[Meander Ingwa]

On 2/27/2023 at 11:31 PM, cruiser3775 said:

It's not reading the book that's sad, it's dining alone with no-one to talk with.

 

14 hours ago, calliopecruiser said:

Sure, but dining alone in a restaurant is better than the alternative of not going out at all, and it's better than being ignored by everyone else at a shared table (IMO). 

You can sit with me anytime.  Most introverts know that feeling of being ignored in groups; not having quick and dominating "wit"  I rather eat alone than be talked over

[Etta1213]

On 2/27/2023 at 8:24 PM, Honolulu Blue said:

I can think of a hundred things sadder without breaking a sweat.

 

On my personal patheticness scale, either reading a book or seeing someone else do so barely rates. But it's interesting that you think so, and I'm sure you're not alone.

Since I have been a compulsive reader since childhood, I am almost never without something to read, even if it stays in my tote bag. Am also a lover of maps and like asking crew to show me where they're from. I learned about Mauritius that way; the young man was cleaning in the Olive or Twist bar area on a RC ship. He loved talking about home.

Edited July 1, 2023 by Etta1213

[Meander Ingwa]

talk about being alone on a cruise.  I bet many crew members are missing home and contact with people who really care about them.  What a simple gesture you made to make someone feel seen and important.

[RedgeToo]

34 minutes ago, Meander Ingwa said:

talk about being alone on a cruise.  I bet many crew members are missing home and contact with people who really care about them.  What a simple gesture you made to make someone feel seen and important.

I try to make a point of talking to the cleaning staff - not the cabin people, I talk to them twice a day 

[shadow 123]

On 6/11/2023 at 9:00 PM, cruiser3775 said:

Thanks for all the comments and messages of support.  I guess my reluctance to dine alone is because I have had decades of dining as a couple, but now I am getting used to travelling solo.  It's the conversation I miss when dining, not the problem of being alone, which I am happy enough to do most of the time. Since I posted the first comment in February, I've been on another cruise, and tackled the dining alone problem again, in speciality restaurants. Prefer the shared tables in the MDR. But yes, it gets easier with practice.

I'm glad

[chefchick]

Dining alone seems to be the most common/biggest hurdle to many new solo cruisers…one of my favorite things about cruising solo is the opportunity to dine by myself.  At home, I dine with my family or out with friends and of course, that’s great, but dining alone (just like cruising solo) allows me to focus on me…to pace the meal around what I want to do for the evening.  I generally bring my headphones and listen to a podcast (which I love) and/or just people watch and focus on my delicious meal.  I never feel lonely or pathetic…on the contrary, it is liberating. 🥂