LIVE - Beyond 1/29/2023 - Live Blog, Cat Blog, Vlog!

[mac_tlc]

5 hours ago, peanut head said:

I was wondering if you could confirm if all EV's have the cute little patio.  I just read on another posting that only the Starboard EV's have the patio.  Thanks.

Only the 4 EV’s on the starboard side have the patio. 

[David Kane]

Quick Replies

 

In a breif attempt to be helpful, notes are as follows:

 

A) The Starboard Side Villas have the interior patios which, I think, if one were gregarious enough, you could bring a few bottles of wine on board, sit on the couch, and toast the folks who walk by. HOWEVER, the Port side villas have far diffrent amenities that aren't advertized anywhere. Firstly, one of the entrances places you directly in line for Luminae. You can quite literally have a spot in line on your credenza, if lines actually existed for Luminae. The OTHER entrance has a "Crew Only" door just across from it, which, according to your butler, will allow you to walk directly into the Retreat Lounge next to the bar. It is noted here:

 

 

B) No, I am not a SUNY Alum, but I have a deep love for the Empire State Plaza and the Capital in general, where my father worked for many, many years at the Deparrtment of Education. For those 11 people from Upstate who are three pages deep into this blog, I have actually been *under* the plaza, in the tunnels that run from the Egg to the Corning, many fine years ago. For those who don't quite know what I'm talking about, here is picture of me challenging a moose statue to fisticuffs, after which we will return to our regularly scheduled programming:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[David Kane]

Day 2 Continued

 

After a rather nice breakfest it seems we commenced to lunch. Now, I'm sure something else happened between the two, but who wants to see pictures of me losing at Baggo? Lunch was at Sushi on Fi...er, Raw on Five (insert Gordon Ramsay here...."It's Raawwwwwwwww") which differes from the other M and S class ship versions by having far more Oysters. I LOVE the "on 5" experience, at which XZ occasionally rolls her eyes, and, upon reviewing the photographic evidence from the previous, uh, 5 cruises it seems we eat there...9 times per trip*. Whoops. ANyhow, this is how 'On Five' looks on the Beyond:

 

 

Notes: The Raw Oysters are all Boston based and in terms fo fresh seafood, these cannot be frozen. Well, I mean, they could be, but you would likely end up with a lot of intestinally distressed guests. In terms of fresh seafood, these are guarenteed to be the freshest - the rose vinagrette is also a terrific pairing. Following up on that, the last picture is of the 'Beyond Roll,' designed by Chef Yoshi for this ship. It is quite excellent.

 

[David Kane]

Day 2 - Evening Chick

 

(A heretofore not mentioned vlogger called last night 'Evening Chick' which I find hilarious but hey, try to pronounce Buena Vista, Colorado correctly and see where that gets you). 

 

Here are some quick evening photos, along with the quite excellent Danny Bold Duck as mentioned before:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[newtampagirl]

21 hours ago, David Kane said:

BUT FIRST!

 

Let's try to end the evening. Post onboarding (the Meow jokes have run their course) and sail away which, from Ft. Lauderdale, is OK (sailing past Lady Liberty will always be a favorite) we dressed for dinner and headed to Luminae. Two important notes:

 

1) As mentioned before, if you are in a Suite, you absolutely want to attend the first night dinner in Luminae. This is your chance to get to know the staff, select your table, and otherwise get comfortable in this space. We missed Luminae exactly once, on the Reflection, years ago, and it discombobulted the rest of the week. The restaturant staff (and WHAT a staff, by the way) is ready to set your preferences on night one, from choice of bread to water selection, there is something about the first night of the cruise which sets up your service for the rest of the trip.

 

2) Danny Bold saves the day! OK! So, we were not fans of Kelly Hoppen and her design astetic at all UNTIL we sailed in the Penthouse on the Summit and used every one of the 17 closets and drawers. They prove to be impractical to everyone BUT us, because when you can drive to the Port you can bring everything but the cat. SO! After that experience, our entirely unjustified opinion of that design changed tremendously. Now, to really challenge things, along comes Danny Bold (this joke is from a popular YouTuber who walked by Le Voyage and says 'Danny Bold's restaurant is Michelle starred' and just gets better from there) who has a signature menu in Luminae consisting of an appetizer, main course and dessert which no one ever orders. The Chicken Tangine....Tagline? Tobuli? is notoriously known as being dry to the point of inedibility...and remeber, this is coming from the Celebrity Cheerleader. Good News; the Tagine has been replaced with a Duck Leg that is quite excellent. I have ordered it twice now - is it over-sauced? Absolutely; but this guy loves sauce. It is a piece of lovely, fall off the bone duck that is both sweet and savory and leave room from desert. I can't believe I am typing this, and this is liekly not for everyone, but it blows the previous offering out of the water.

 

  

We were on the Beyond last week and I agree with you that the duck leg was excellent! This coming from someone who never orders duck. The corn soup was a big miss. It is served over a couple of shrimp and tasted fishy.  My favorite dessert is the chocolate pill. It reminded me of those chocolate ice cube candies that melt in your mouth.

[David Kane]

Day 3 - Paperwork

 

Good Morning! In an attempt keep only 1 day behind I'm likely to speed through the majority of yesterday which was...Tuesday? Tuesday! First, the dailies:

[David Kane]

Day 3 - Out and About at Sea

 

Of note; Days cruising tend to begin earlier than at home, as the sun is UP and, despite blackout curtains, one can seemingly just know when it is light out. With an excellent theatre show the night before which we attended late (classic mistake - I always try to catch the early show, so if it engaging I can come back and catch the 2nd showing as well)  which all the guests I spoke to indicated was delightul (the songs from Hamilton, in particular, are splendid) followed by an even later night at the Club it means that, upon rising, I hit the jogging track for my morning stumble where I failed to keep up with 2 airelists, a singer/dancer and someone who I believe was a contortionist. 

 

XZ returned from Spa Appointment #2 - OH! Shoot! Quick note I failed to mention about the Spa. For Upper Teir Suite Guests, Celebrity is now including the Spa complimentary with the rooms. I'm kinda of shocked they don't openly advertize that - maybe it is ship-specific? Or dependant on the number of people onboard? But for this sailing we didn't need to acquire a weekly pass. (See, there IS helpful information in this Blog...somewhere).

 

After her return we frequented Rolly's Bar at the back of the ship, enjoyed Raw on 5 for lunch (again...man, she is right, we DO go there a lot) and then had dinner at the Rooftop Garden Grill. This is the Crudite (or as we call it in Pennsylanvia - a Veggie Tray) which XZ insists has the best mini-tomatoes on board. In fact, she ordered more for desert!

 

 

Here are the Wings with an interesting Dry Rub. In today's 'Taste it now make it' Heckin' Kitchen challenge we believe it was Gran Marsala, Cumin, Brown Sugar and Chinese 5 Spice - likely due to the differeing palettes of the many guests these are not hot in the slightest:

 

And finally the Seafood Skewers, of which the Salmon was the clear star:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[RMac713]

On 1/29/2023 at 10:33 AM, Azulann said:

Look forward to your live report/blog I love your writing style , and yes I read Atlas Shrugged in college man-years ago. it was tedious  as was  A. Rand.

I'm triggered.   Years ago our AP Lit teacher resigned suddenly and they asked me to cover....I had to read The Fountainhead in 3 days.  Just discussing Ayn Rand gives me the jitters.

[David Kane]

Day 3 - Night 3 - The Jazz Joint

 

One of the intriguing parts of the Edge Class is that there are two separate performance casts, one for the main stage and one for Eden. On night's when there is a cellist, bassoonist, obo---ist? or Bazooki player in Eden the cast moves over to the Club to put on a different themed show. Last night was 'The Jazz Joint' and, despite the generic name (and I realize why they have to do this - for a ship that hosts people from all over the world it is easiest to communicate directly, as opposed to trying to intrigue them with something creatively descreptive, like "Mz. Shnoggleshorns Speakeasy and Burlesque Review.' This is also how you end up with the corporate room on the Ship being creatively named 'The Meeting Place' while the Buffet is the 'The Eating Place.') thr show features modern, high energy music and 'nary a Jazz Flute in sight.

 

For those of you remember the alternative shows of ages past, this is something akin to 'Indulgence,' just with less cupckaes and more acrobatics. In fact, there is a heavy audience participation segment to the show, with performers entering and exiting the scenes from guests laps (!) and the selection of a random attendee to be foisted into the air by a burly-but-athletic Eastern European strongman (see...you may think I'm exaggerating here...guess you'll just have to show up to find out!

 

Here we are, prepared to blend in to the roaring 20s.

 

And here is XZ, investigating the eternal riddle of Art Imitating Life Imitating Art.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Cap_D]

@David Kane Thank you.  Came for the live review, and enjoying the references to wrestling (or as some more refined people call it sports entertainment) and Jim Shooter.  

 

@DaKahuna what was the brand of hair gel?  

 

Have a wonderful trip. 

 

[David Kane]

Day 3 - Tuesday Night Lights

 

After the Jazz Joint we repaired to Eden for late(r) night shenanigans. Despite the space being reportedly crowded when there are shows, when there are not shows, or just solo acts...or...duo acts? Occasionally trio acts? the Massive Bar, and three story (!) enclosure leave plenty of prime seating for everyone. Sporting *the most* expensive bar on the ship (absenting ordering High-End Whisky Shots at the World Class Bar - boy, that was a mistake from pre-COVID - Johnny Walker Blue hasn't been the same since Diego) the good news is that one only pays the difference in package levels between the price (generally $20) and the Classic/Premium maximum. So, for a few dollars more you not only get a drink, but also a mini-show, as all the upcharge drinks include a presentation worthy of the World Class Bar, if not exceeding it (apparently there is a friendly competition between the two bars for service and presentation - I hate to report it, but so far, Eden is in the lead). We should have a Vlog up shortly about the...spinning drink called the Garden. In the meantime, here's some Eden:

 

   

 

 

 

 

[David Kane]

Day 3 - There and back again, a gambling hobbit's tale

 

Post Eden, I cleverly decided to employ my previous guarenteed winning Casino strategy by letting XZ hit all the bonuses and then swiping her cash out ticket. Unfortunately, she apparently reads this blog, and decided to keep her winnings for herself. Now, you might be wondering how there were any winnings at all, and it comes down to our perfect two player strategy; as follows.

 

#1) Only one person plays at a time - the other person holds drinks, takes pictures, and scouts out other potentially friendly looking slot machines and/or Roulette tables and/or Texas Hold'em Tournaments that aren't stacked with killers. Seriously, you think you can burn $100 in a slot machine quickly? That nice looking older lady will take your money and your pride in about 3 hands of Hold 'em from the High Jack and you won't even know what happened. 

 

#2) Play a slot machine until 'the cool thing' happens. Often times, that cool thing will return about $9, but regardless, once the Cool Thing hits, play one last spin and move along.

 

Using these two clever strategies we managed to survive several good hours at the Casino; note, I didn't say 'win,' I said survive - as they say in Blackjack - a push is a win, especially in a negative EV game.

 

This shot is for the 'Degenrate Gambler' Ryan DaPaulo who always plays this game on his Vlog on 'that' video site.

 

Big Money, no Wammies!

 

Another amazing $7 win! I said we enjoyed gambling; I didn't say we were all in on it!

 

[TiredofTheGame]

😁

1 hour ago, David Kane said:

Day 3 - There and back again, a gambling hobbit's tale

 

Post Eden, I cleverly decided to employ my previous guarenteed winning Casino strategy by letting XZ hit all the bonuses and then swiping her cash out ticket. Unfortunately, she apparently reads this blog, and decided to keep her winnings for herself. Now, you might be wondering how there were any winnings at all, and it comes down to our perfect two player strategy; as follows.

 

#1) Only one person plays at a time - the other person holds drinks, takes pictures, and scouts out other potentially friendly looking slot machines and/or Roulette tables and/or Texas Hold'em Tournaments that aren't stacked with killers. Seriously, you think you can burn $100 in a slot machine quickly? That nice looking older lady will take your money and your pride in about 3 hands of Hold 'em from the High Jack and you won't even know what happened. 

 

#2) Play a slot machine until 'the cool thing' happens. Often times, that cool thing will return about $9, but regardless, once the Cool Thing hits, play one last spin and move along.

 

Using these two clever strategies we managed to survive several good hours at the Casino; note, I didn't say 'win,' I said survive - as they say in Blackjack - a push is a win, especially in a negative EV game.

 

This shot is for the 'Degenrate Gambler' Ryan DaPaulo who always plays this game on his Vlog on 'that' video site.

 

Big Money, no Wammies!

 

Another amazing $7 win! I said we enjoyed gambling; I didn't say we were all in on it!

 

Most Importantly...How is the Cat????😁

Edited February 1, 2023 by TiredofTheGame

[David Kane]

The Cat before the End of the Night

 

(sounds like a Game of Thrones Chapter or, alternativerly, the latest Glen Cook Novel, which exactly one person following this will get the reference...to? that was an odd way to end this sentance).

 

Let us check in with the Fuzzy Menace:

Whew. Cat. So. Here is the thing. It's not that the self-flagellation is tedious. It's that it's just not funny. The Humor in all of these posts is so beld dry it might as well be a poorly aged Port; full of bitterness for no reason. Crusining is what you make of it. The staff are *extremely* gracious and have mirrored the amazing skill to remember guests after 2 interactions - sometimes one. It is all about picking your spot. Yes, one may not be a quad Zenith with acess to the retreat and salmon delivered to the room every day on gold leaf paper (note: this angry little cat LOVES salmon), but there is a staff member on this ship who likes the cut of your jib/esoteric t-shirt/steely eyed gaze/preference in drink. The trick is find these people with grace. They may not be at the World Class Bar. Heck, they may not be at the Martini Bar. But somewhere, likely at the OVC bar (let's not give away secrets now) there is a staff member who doesn't care about your status, your card, or how many times you have bitten a human (for this cat, 19, at least, for the rest of you, hopefully 0). There is a chance here to make a real human connection with another person, who is likely, well, absolutely, from a foreign country, hear their story, and gain a broader understanding of the world. Half the reason we cruise is meeting a host of other interesting people...the other half is, or course, the drink package. So relax, kitty, and live a little  **

 

**We are not the Pseudo-Rich. We're not even Psue-puse-psudo (Phill Collins reference). We are folks, just like you, just like everyone, who chose to dispose of their income in this fashion. There are plenty of other ways do to it; from high end sports cars to gold bars to NFTs (note: do not buy NFTs). Sure, this cruise line has tiers, but, and I will guarentee you this, once you find a bartender/server/waiter at the Pool Bar whose life you just made easier by ordering a Miller High Life (The Champagne of Beers!) instead of the 123rd Long Island Ice Tea they had to make this day, they will invite you into a secret confederacy of service and you will always get your drink ahead of anyone else, regardless of supposed status. Meet your folks, make friends, do good.And now, Secrets of the Buffet! 

[David Kane]

Day 3/Night 3 - Secrets of the Buffet

 

To end out the evening, we went to the late night buffet, a point of much contention amounst the intelligencia of these forums. Because this is a Blog of What Cheer! and relentless positivity we will simply concentrate on what we enjoyed, and not show the Alpaca of Surprise*

 

The late night buffet has a few stations, the most important one being pizza. Perhaps I'm just a basic bitc...sorry, words I can't say on CC...a basic...person, but I LOVE late night pizza. It's 12am, and I am not expecting Beef Wellington. Offerings, and SECRETS are as follows:

Ok, I just fibbed a bit; this is the only offering you will see on this post. Sandwiches...with the CRUSTS CUT OFF!!. What EVEN. Consider that someone had to de-crust like 194 tiny sanwiches at 12am. I can't EVEN.

 

Next up; did they pay Taylor Swift for this paparazzi picture of her and...the amish? It's totally her, right?

 

 

Secrets abound! SO! At the tail end (AFT, I hear they call it) of the OVC there is...the pink room. Well, more of a rose gold room. The entirety of the rest of the OVC is Hoppen white and grey, which is a bold choice for a place that serves Italian at least one a week. Presumably it is Hydro-phobic fabric that just needs to be vac-cleaned and it is back to ne...wait, does that exist?

 

Aside from that, and small secret here, the plates one picks up are all heated, so you can make your over-indulged selection and make it back to your tabe with your food still warm and WHAT a table you should go to - check other this place in the OVC - decorated like no other. It's like Kelly Hoppen went "Let them eat cake" and included a premium dining experience at the tail end of the OVC:

 

 

*We have met any number of lovely, engaging, and interesting people so far on this cruise. I was somewhat concerned we would need to show the Alpaca but, so far, no need. To conclude this evening, because obscure reference are my thing, Rick Boogz returned on RAW the other night, and no one will get this reference but Cap_D. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[jobinhume]

16 hours ago, David Kane said:

 

 

And here is XZ, investigating the eternal riddle of Art Imitating Life Imitating Art.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

um…. how come you 2 are 10,000% more interesting and interesting looking than anyone I have ever been on a cruise with? I love it 100%. I know that math doesn’t math I’m just saying I’m loving reading this blog.

[Schmoe38]

Rick Boogs….Air guitar and air drums?

 

Randy

[David Kane]

Day 4 - Still going!

 

I am as surprised as you are that this Blog is still going. Usually, when we approach the mid point of the cruise, everything falls of the rails as we try to pack as much as is absolutely possible into the remaining time on board. One of the more experienced cruisers once told me that the first three days take a week to go by and the last 4 go by in hours. BUT! Somehow we are still here and posting. Here are the Dailies:

 

 

 

 

[David Kane]

Day 4 - Morning, or something like it

 

Today, we made the accidental choice to sleep in, which meant lounging around the room until about 11am. Lying there, in bed, casually watching the in room entertainment we came to a few hopefully helpful conclusions:

 

1) A lot of people, especially Post-COVID, have noted that a lot of the guests are coughing and hacking their way around the ship. As someone who just drank 3 bottles of water simply laying in  bed, I think know why. The ship's air is constanrly circulating and, especially at night, very dry. I know this is counter intuitive, as one imagines the daily humidity is at 80%, but from my personal water consumption I feel it is absolutely true - base line; I think everyone is just a touch dehydrated.

 

2) I SO enjoy the Cruise Director's morning program. This time, it is Tim and Alexa (still not as rough as naming your child when they were born some 23 years ago Siri or, in a very odd happenstance, Google) have this wonderful rapport that we have not seen since we first cruised on the Infinity 8 years ago and the CD team was Alejando (Ale-Handsome!) and Rachel. 

 

3) Being up at 11 means I missed Rolly in the private bar and had to walk my 10,000 steps during the docking process where everyone stands on the jogging track watching the ship very....slowly...crab-walk sideways to the pier unlike the Carnival ship which arrived later and came into port like an underized Irish man enters a bar - already drunk and ready to fight, which, incidentally, should be Carnival's Motto.

 

4) Point is, we managed to name a new area of the jogging track. Instead of the 2 story incline (boring, unless you have actually ridden on the clockwork rattletrap that is the Duquense Incline in Pittsburg), the upward facing space will heretoafter be known as "Buttslapper Alley" as one could* give everyone watching the docking process a hardy 'good game' on the way by them . This now makes the second location** of the jogging track with a new designation; the other being "Freindmaker Corner," the blind turn where you absolutely will not crash headfirst into a dutchman walking the opposite direction.***

 

*Please do not do this.

 

**Presumably, this is what happens on Virgin Voyages where passengers get to name various parts of the ship inbetween getting tattoos, doing cocaine, and taking pole dancing classes.

 

***His name was Pinky Banditsky, and we're now dear friends, Zero.

[David Kane]

Day 4 - Pool Bingo!

 

What to do with a late-rising day? First off; enjoy the buffet where, once again, the Asian/Indian selections are the clear winners. After that, since the ship came in to port at noonish, it is time to play pool Bingo while everyone is off the ship journeying to local ruins and/or buying tanzanite. Pool Bingo encompasses hopping in and out of every pool and hot tub on the ship where, on Port Days, you pretty much have them to yourself. Pool Notes:

 

1) The Hot Tubs are massive. They are also all enclosed around the edges meaning you get much less wind and also have no hope of holding a private conversation. It's like one of those domed spaces that seem to exist in every state capital where you can stand in corner and hear a dog rise on two legs and whisper secrets. Does your fellow cruiser have a deviated septum? Share this hot tub and you'll know by their heavy breathing in 2.3 seconds. NOW, it being a port day, there was no one about, and being out of the coastal wind is actually quite a nice touch.

 

2) Both the Retreat and the Main pool have shallow basins around the edge, meaning you can actually just get your feet wet without committing to chlorinating your daily wear and/or hat if/when your wife dunks you underwater.

 

3) The solarium is TOTALLY different than the M class. On, for instance, the Summit, the Thasalosotherapy (incidentally, this was once the capital of Ottoman Empire) pool is a quiet, almost meditative space, full of running water and playing the relaxing, chimed and dulcet tones of singing bowls/Zamphir where conversations are more reserved. Here, the solarium is more an indoor pool, with guests enjoying a space out of the sun with a nice pool.

 

4) There can, at times, be a seeming lack of shade on many of the pool areas but, at this point, it should no longer be much of a surprise. Every ship has drone footage, multiple walkthrough videos, and the top down view is literally the opening page of the Celebrity App. One should preclude this issue by purchasing a giant, floppy, and easily packabe hat. Using this combination, one can relax on any deck in any area.

 

 

 

 

 

[DaKahuna]

20 hours ago, Cap_D said:

 

@DaKahuna what was the brand of hair gel?  

 

 

 

 Sorry, I do not recall.  At the time of our sailing with Hilario the crew was not permitted to leave the ship.  As I recall he said any gel would be okay so we picked out one from the three offerings the drug store had and he seemed pleased with our choice. 

 

[TheHawk1]

44 minutes ago, David Kane said:

unlike the Carnival ship which arrived later and came into port like an underized Irish man enters a bar - already drunk and ready to fight, which, incidentally, should be Carnival's Motto.

Too funny, but alas too true, based on multiple YouTube videos I've seen.

[David Kane]

Day 4 - Mercy Please*

 

After having a great time in the pools and meeting some rather pleasent other guests (I have failed to mention ALL of the entertaining and enthralling guests by name - people, of course, enjoy their privacy, so if I say we met a Good Witch, an amateur astronomer (not astrologer!), an RAF veteran, a potential former spy, and someone who has been a practicing Vegan longer than XZ, you'll just have to take my word for it!).

 

For dinner, we had booked Eden, after enjoying the last several nights at the bar. Eden is the pinnacle of a new concept for this class of ship, which I am surprised is not advertized more directly - the open concept Kitchen. Any restaurant where you can lay eyes on the chef and their team making your food is a sure guarentee of quality (and, yes yes New Englanders, I know you can watch the tired and embittered Dunkin' Donuts server popping your Snakin' Bacon into the rarely-cleaned toaster oven just off the highway in Dighton at 1am - now go back to watching reruns of 'The Town'). We first encountered this at a 5 star restaurant hidden in the town of Bovina, NY (Town Motto: "Huh?") called Brushland Eating House and, since then, we have sought out these types of experiences. Suffice to say that Celebrity has started to perfect this concept - first at the Rooftop Garden Grill and now at Eden. Watching the team of professionals plate your meal with chopsticks and tweezers (no exaggeration) while the head chef runs the pass like Gordon Ramsay is a sure guarentee of pure quality. 

 

 

Note the shoes; XZ went to India recently and brought back the least comfortable pair of execellent looking, flat bottomed and unpadded shoes ever so I could understand her better when I ask her to always walk up the stairs in heels on the ship. Well Played.

 

 

*Obscure Alice Cooper song reference from the Last Temptation - very Edenesque.

[LouChamp]

Aloha. Wondering if you are a paid influencer for Celebrity or if they upgrade you for your rather extravagant posts and dress lol

[Essiesmom]

I am understanding the 8 suitcases…. EM