Questions for solo cruisers

[Hflors]

I have read thru this thread and agree with the points about being solo.  I lost the love of my life 18 months ago.  I have been on two cruises and was scheduled to do a world cruise this past Jan. 23 but my bil became gravely ill and I cancelled to be with my sister.  He has passed I am sad to say, but the two of are booked on a cruise the end of this month and we need it!!  So now I am booked on a 51 day cruise go hawaii and tahiti in October, a b2b panama canal in January 24 and am looking at the 2025 world cruise all solo!!  

 

Everyone keeps asking me how I do "being solo" and "keep going".  I just smile and tell them I don't have a choice.  My husband would be very upset with me if I didn't keep going!!

 

Ps: I asked the moderators to make this thread a sticky.

[lazey1]

@vswanI am sorry you lost your husband and so unexpectedly. My late husband and I had been on approximately 20 cruises, usually in a balcony. We preferred cruises of at least 14 days and enjoyed even longer cruises of up to 30 days. 7 days was just to short a time for us.

It seems that most of your questions have been answered except for sharing the personal experiences.

My husband of 57 years passed away in Sept. of 2015. The first Thanksgiving and Christmas I spent with my in-laws as I have no relatives except a son who had used all his timeoff prior to his dad's illness and death and was unble to take any more time off work.  I neeeded some time to myself and went on my first solo cruise over Christmas and New Years of 2016/2017; a 16 day cruise. The ship I chose was The Prinsendam, a small ship that I had not been on before. I was very shy but went to the Singles and Solo's luncheon which was quite difficult for me. I met a lovely lady of over 90 who had literally been all over the world and was an excellent story teller, had lunch with her several times. 

I spent a lot of time on my balcony reading but did go to all of the entertainment in the show room. I also went to several trivia games and just observed.

The Christmas celebrations, singing carols while the tree was officially lit, listening to the Santa Claus countdown then seeing the  Captain and other officers give the children Christmas presents were by far the most healing experiences that I had.

Since that first solo cruise I have gone on several other cruises, some by myself, other with friends. Each has it's own rewards. I believe that you will know when it is time for you to resume cruising.

Edited March 3, 2023 by lazey1

[cruising sister]

10 hours ago, 3rdGenCunarder said:

 

It's sort of like taking the training wheels off your bike. You build confidence with that extra help until you're ready to go on your own. I like your comment about being alone all day. Having adjusted to that makes solo travel easier. You learn to be good company for yourself. Enjoy your cruise!

 

Thank you for your encouragement. So often others are discouraging me to venture out alone. I did put a deposit on the 94 day Grand Australian cruise. The May cruise is to test the waters to see if I can cruise alone. 

[travelers07]

Good luck to you! I agree about learning to be comfortable being alone. And I find I am so much better when I am traveling because I don’t have as many reminders.

 

I have found some good books on grieving and it seems to help. One thing that really stuck with me was from a counselor who lost her own partner. She said she used to tell people that they will get over their loss but now she understands that does not happen. She says that all you can hope for is to find a way to continue living with your loss and be kind to yourself as you do. 
 

Thanks for everyone’s support! Feels so good knowing there are so many of us supporting each other. 
 

Bon voyage-

Sue

 

[cruising sister]

On 3/2/2023 at 5:43 AM, vswan said:

I'm going to go there and ask a question that is somewhat uncomfortable. My daughter and son-in-law love to cruise and go yearly with their 2 children ages 13 and 2. I know I would be welcome to join them, and probably will on occasion, but feel this is their family time. The one week a year they take as a family. I am also concerned that our cruise styles are very different - not because they are huge party people, but just the time and place they are in life. At this point their favorite cruise line is CCL, and I'm more of a HAL type person.

 

Would you suggest that I jump in and join them for my first return to cruising, or should I go solo or find a friend to go on a more peaceful cruise first. I do have several single friends, but even if I share a cabin that's already paid for, asking someone else to pay airfare, taxes and port fees, gratuities, shore excursions, etc. adds up. And asking them to spend money so I can have a companion for vacation just seems wrong to me.

 Did my first cruise with my sister and second with a friend. It was a nice way to get back into it. I did a DCL cruise with my son and his family in January. Not restful but never a dull moment. The first cruise was 3 months after my DH died. I still was very teary and wanted some time alone. The second one 9 months later and I did better. The third was a cruise on steroids (DCL) 6 weeks later. The parents enjoyed the break from the 2 and 5 yo and the 5yo shared my room. I would talk it over with them. It is hard to find a friend that has the same finances that you have that wants to cruise too. 

[durangoscots]

2 hours ago, cruising sister said:

Thank you for your encouragement. So often others are discouraging me to venture out alone. I did put a deposit on the 94 day Grand Australian cruise. The May cruise is to test the waters to see if I can cruise alone. 

There are a number of us singles on that cruise.   I have been cruising alone for a number of years after my traveling companion of many years became unable to travel....and the majority of these cruises have been longer cruises.... segments of the WC, the Grand South America, VOV. Sometimes I miss having a companion for the "Wow!!! Did you see that?" interaction at a given moment.... but I have yet not to make friends and acquaintances on board to visit and do things with. I find I do better on longer cruises than on the shorter ones. The fact that I am hoping to head out on a Grand again says it all.

 

Susan

 

 

[Destiny0315]

10 hours ago, OlsSalt said:

Perhaps enough requests to the moderator can make it a "sticky" thread, like the smoking discussion thread? Eg: Tips for HAL Solo cruisers

 

Well the pinned thread 'How are things where YOU live?' started out as a discussion about the Coronavirus virus nearly three years ago on here but in the last year it has morphed into a place where people are posting pics and discussing the weather in their area.  In fact there were posts suggesting that it be unpinned nearly a year ago! I think a pinned thread for people who are HAL solo cruisers might garner more support if one was added.

[TiogaCruiser]

21 hours ago, Pickalily, Wilts said:

 

Is "Walt" still the moderator?  I saw his name attached to other 'stickies' from way back, but wasn't sure if that's still the person to contact.  (Told you I was useless at this laptop lark 🙃 !)

 

Just a bit of background:  40 years ago (after a divorce) I had to pluck up courage to take solo trips, so I know how the OP feels.  Have never been the most gregarious person, but somehow I did it.  The result was several longish trips to countries I'd always wanted to visit, which gave me the confidence previously lacking.

Bump.

Unfortunately Host Walt passed away a couple years ago. Actually, I think about 5 years ago. Reporting the thread will get the request to a moderator, and “stickifying” is a function only a Mod can do. 
 

I do hope this thread stays within the HAL board, as it is HAL focused. And agree a sub forum for widowed makes sense. 
 

Adding, I, too, have felt my room stewards have taken that extra care when I’ve sailed solo. They have seemed to have shown up in the afternoon for a short check in chat. This was prior to Covid. (I haven’t sailed solo since Covid.)

[3rdGenCunarder]

12 hours ago, cruising sister said:

 Did my first cruise with my sister and second with a friend. It was a nice way to get back into it. I did a DCL cruise with my son and his family in January. Not restful but never a dull moment. The first cruise was 3 months after my DH died. I still was very teary and wanted some time alone. The second one 9 months later and I did better. The third was a cruise on steroids (DCL) 6 weeks later. The parents enjoyed the break from the 2 and 5 yo and the 5yo shared my room. I would talk it over with them. It is hard to find a friend that has the same finances that you have that wants to cruise too. 

 

That last sentence is true for me, too. We used to travel with my BF and her husband. When her husband died, my BF took her first cruise without him with us, on HAL. Because our husbands had health issues, we expected to travel as widows together. When you're in your 40's it's a funny joke that "we'll keep cruising as long as one of us can push the other in a wheelchair." We didn't get that far. She died 6 years ago--I'm still cross sometimes that she wasn't here to help me through widowhood, as I had done for her. But her grown daughters were there for me, and it was their cruise I joined. Sort of going full circle, since they were pre-teens when we all went on their first cruise. 

 

I miss having cruise buddies. I miss sharing the pre-cruise excitement as we researched and found interesting things to do. I miss the comments later, "remember when...?"  As you said, it's awkward to suggest someone travel with you when you aren't sure if they can afford it. It can kill a friendship to offer to pay for them. And the friends who are still working can afford it but have very little time off. 

 

So solo cruising it is. We don't' always get to choose how things go. We can only choose to make the best of it and keep on keepin' on. 

[cruising sister]

I think if we keep posting the thread will stay alive even if they don’t make a sticky. 

[highscar]

My first solo cruise. On the Eurodam,  in our favorite cabin, walked through the room onto the balcony, took a selfy and said “honey I’m home”. 

[Destiny0315]

In 2014 a close friend of my wife's for many years passed away. We had some good times together with her and her husband over the years but they never cruised because of her health issues. When her now widowed husband found out in 2015 that we were going to Bermuda on the Veendam that summer he told us that he had always wanted to go on a cruise so we helped get him booked on our cruise in his own room. He joined us in the MDR nightly and on our balcony a couple of times and told us of his experiences and the new friends he had met. I still remember after debarkation walking on the dock and people yelling down from the ship wishing him well and how this relatively quiet guy was now beaming after the new world he had discovered.

[vswan]

OP poster here.

1 hour ago, 3rdGenCunarder said:

As you said, it's awkward to suggest someone travel with you when you aren't sure if they can afford it. It can kill a friendship to offer to pay for them. And the friends who are still working can afford it but have very little time off. 

This is my concern with asking others to join me. I know I can take my children and grandchildren and wouldn't have any concerns, but they have limited time off, and I don't want to take away from their family time. The others that I know can afford it I don't think I would be comfortable traveling with, our lifestyles are just not the same, and I have my cruise routine pretty well figured out and know their priorities are much different than mine. Think I will be better off just jumping in on my own.

 

Not related, but I have booked my first solo air flight for later this month. My mother and her SO winter in a warmer climate (inherited family property that has fond memories for me) and both families are concerned with them driving cross country. I will be joining them for a couple days, then driving their car back. My mom will come with me, her SO will fly back. So, I'm getting out there.

[lazey1]

I also requested that this be made a sticky thread.

 

Semi related.  On my last cruise I had enough carry over credits that the cruise was fully paid for. I asked a friend if she would like to cruise with me, told her the cruise was fully paid for and that her only expenses would be the flights and excursions. She did come with and we both enjoyed it.

 

Edited March 4, 2023 by lazey1

[3rdGenCunarder]

1 minute ago, vswan said:

OP poster here.

This is my concern with asking others to join me. I know I can take my children and grandchildren and wouldn't have any concerns, but they have limited time off, and I don't want to take away from their family time. The others that I know can afford it I don't think I would be comfortable traveling with, our lifestyles are just not the same, and I have my cruise routine pretty well figured out and know their priorities are much different than mine. Think I will be better off just jumping in on my own.

 

Not related, but I have booked my first solo air flight for later this month. My mother and her SO winter in a warmer climate (inherited family property that has fond memories for me) and both families are concerned with them driving cross country. I will be joining them for a couple days, then driving their car back. My mom will come with me, her SO will fly back. So, I'm getting out there.

 

That sounds like a good start. Family, good memories, and a little warm weather and sunshine will lift your spirits. 

[Gsel]

I am not a widow, actually I am in "limbo". My husband is in a nursing home with severe Alzheimer's disease.  He does not recognize me or our daughter. He is getting excellent care. My daughter mentioned last year she would love to see Alaska some day. So, her dream will come true this summer. We will be visiting Alaska along with my sister and niece. It will be my sister's first cruise after losing her husband and my 9-10th time to Alaska.  We both know how proud our husbands would be that we have planned this adventure. I know my husband will be fine, but he is well cared for and we planned for any eventuality. Please remember life is very short and do and go as long as possible!

[Pickalily, Wilts]

 

Another 'bump'.

 

The whole premise of this thread could have led to a lot of negativity, but given that individual contributors' situations have mainly resulted from loss and sadness, it's remarkable how uplifting the result has been IMO.  In just a few days something positive has emerged and if it helps others to overcome doubts about coping with the future, it can only be a good thing.

[bellebaby]

My husband of 25 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly just over 2 years ago.  We loved cruising together...especially to Alaska.

 

I have traveled alone extensively in the past for business.  As did he.  But it's very different to travel knowing someone is at home waiting for you or will be there in the event of an emergency while away.  We both took a few cruises by ourselves when the other didn't have time off from work.  Texting and calling each other quite often.

 

I had a difficult time deciding to take that first solo cruise, but am booked on an Alaskan R/T out of Vancouver in May.  Hoping for the best.  My siblings don't want to cruise and our couples cruising partners currently have health issues.  One of the couples has volunteered to take care of my dog while I'm away...much comfort for me.

 

B

 

 

[lcand1923]

It is somewhat ironic what happens when you cruise solo.  Twice now, while on a Shore Excursion, I’ve struck up a conversation with someone.  As we talk, I’ll discover that the person is a member of Cruise Critic.  As we talk, we’ll mention our “handles” and continue the conversation about some threads that we’ve been on.  

 

I agree with the comment that cruising solo is easier on a long cruise than on a short one.  You have a greater opportunity of seeing the same folks over and over again.  Short cruises tend to attract families, too.

[bellebaby]

Pickalily

 

You live in a very beautiful area.

 

Years ago, a friend's daughter married a young man that lived in Allington, near Salisbury.  

 

We went to the engagement party and stayed with his family in The Old Rectory.  

 

Wonderful memories.

 

B

Edited March 5, 2023 by bellebaby
Clarity

[3rdGenCunarder]

2 hours ago, lcand1923 said:

It is somewhat ironic what happens when you cruise solo.  Twice now, while on a Shore Excursion, I’ve struck up a conversation with someone.  As we talk, I’ll discover that the person is a member of Cruise Critic.  As we talk, we’ll mention our “handles” and continue the conversation about some threads that we’ve been on.  

 

I agree with the comment that cruising solo is easier on a long cruise than on a short one.  You have a greater opportunity of seeing the same folks over and over again.  Short cruises tend to attract families, too.

 

I got "outed" as a CC member on Cunard 10 or more years ago We were settling in on embarkation day, and DH was talking to the man in the next cabin. DH said something about we had found out about an excursion because of me being on CC and how I was excited about some detail of it, maybe something to do with where my grandparents came from. Ihad posted about this, so the man recognized who I am. He man said, "Oh, is she 3rdgencunarder?" And DH called to me to meet the man I'd already "met" on CC. 

 

Cruising can be a surprisingly small world. I think traveling solo you meet more people (if you're outgoing enough) than if you're in a couple, just because you don't have that same person to talk to all the time. 

 

[vswan]

Another question. I've gone to the HAL website and was looking at future cruises. I understand that you have to pay double the room rate even if you are traveling solo (single supplement). Do you pay double the port charges and gratuities also? If I'm understanding correctly you can add the HIA (or club orange) later and only get it for the solo traveler and not double up on the cost.

[3rdGenCunarder]

5 minutes ago, vswan said:

Another question. I've gone to the HAL website and was looking at future cruises. I understand that you have to pay double the room rate even if you are traveling solo (single supplement). Do you pay double the port charges and gratuities also? If I'm understanding correctly you can add the HIA (or club orange) later and only get it for the solo traveler and not double up on the cost.

 

No, you don't pay double port charges or gratuities. 

 

I think the 100% supplement is unfair. One person eats less food, uses fewer towels and less water than two people do. We should get a little break. Cunard's supplement is 75% until you get up to the Grills Level, and then it's 100%. Once in a while they do a sale with a reduced single supplement.

[Crew News]

13 minutes ago, vswan said:

Another question. I've gone to the HAL website and was looking at future cruises. I understand that you have to pay double the room rate even if you are traveling solo (single supplement). Do you pay double the port charges and gratuities also? If I'm understanding correctly you can add the HIA (or club orange) later and only get it for the solo traveler and not double up on the cost.

You are correct.  HIA and CO are per person so just pay for one if cruising solo.

[Red Haired Lady]

16 minutes ago, 3rdGenCunarder said:

 

No, you don't pay double port charges or gratuities. 

 

I think the 100% supplement is unfair. One person eats less food, uses fewer towels and less water than two people do. We should get a little break. Cunard's supplement is 75% until you get up to the Grills Level, and then it's 100%. Once in a while they do a sale with a reduced single supplement.

If you book an inside or OV cabin on HAL it is usually 79% supplement on ships that are NOT Pinnacle Class.  It is 100% for balcony or suites on all ships and all cabins on Pinnacle Class (Rotterdam, Koningsdam, Nieuw Statendam)

 

On the Grand Voyages it is 60% for an inside or OV. This includes segments of Grand Voyages.