LIVE from the most hated ship in the NCL fleet, Epic, March 26-April 2

[spenecer]

I really wanted to LIVE blog my first ever cruise ever and I thought that this forum would be kinder than the place that cannot be named.  Last November, I knew nothing beyond cruising besides watching a few YouTube videos when I booked my cruise on the Norwegian Epic and paid in full.  Imagine my newbie horror to discover that due to the bathroom layout, it appears to be the most hated ship in the NCL fleet and this hate appears to attach itself to how long people have to stand in line in the hot San Juan sun before they embark (4 hours with people fainting from heatstroke!), the speed of service at the pool bar (45 minutes!), the number of times the cabin is cleaned (never during the entire week!), the soot from the smokestack in Spice H20 (OMG, all my clothes were ruined and NCL doesn't care), the entertainment (NCL got rid of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and replaced it with nothing), the food (toughest and most tasteless steak ever at Cagney's), the music (they played music in Spanish on the pool deck!), the crowding (the cruise is sold out, but we hates it so much!) and the money (#EpicFail was the hashtag trending the week after Christmas).  

 

I picked my first ever cruise for the itinerary: Aruba, Curacao, Bonaire, St. Lucia and St. Kitts. I am determined to get out of the frozen Midwest (18F on Saturday, so cold...). I picked the time based on when my kid was on Spring Break.  Also, I'm in an inside cabin because my co-worker who has taken 2-3 cruises every single year for the last ten years told me that balcony cabins are a waste of money because on an port-heavy itinerary you will never be in your cabin. I'm not very good at keeping track of expenditures so I paid for everything ahead of time: Free at Sea Plus (the kid wanted unlimited Wi-Fi and I didn't want to be going to Internet Services to get our minutes back every day when she forgot to log out), Service Charges, Excursions, Airport Transfers, and this is still the cheapest 7-day vacation to exotic locations EVER. I'm flying in a day ahead of time per advice that I've read in this forum and staying at a boutique hotel in Old San Juan.

 

A few (mental) statistics:

 

I'm travelling with my teenage daughter.  I will get plenty of complaints from her.  So, this live blog will be my honest reaction to an experience I have never had.  It is just the two of us and I diapered her butt.  I don't care if I see her naked in the shower, but I'm pretty sure she cares.  Imagine the horror if her father was also in the cabin with us, but no, he has a high profile corruption trial to manage and refused to go on vacation.  If only we could turn his Comp time and overtime into cash.  I'm sure it would pay for 2 weeks at an all-inclusive resort.

 

After taking 6 years of Spanish in high school and college, I am unintelligible and illiterate in Spanish.  I hope I have enough internet to make Google Translate work.

 

I have downloaded a SpeedTest App to my phone to find out the actual Wi-Fi speed on the Epic.  I must know if it is faster or a slower than a team of hamsters running full out.  I'm planning on starting each entry with the internet speed.

 

I have joined not one, not two, but four different roll calls for this cruise in various forums/the place that cannot be named.  Only two are active.  I'm hoping to attend both a Meet and Greet and a Pub Crawl.

 

Because I paid for the Free at Sea Plus for the Wi-Fi, if my kid can't stay connected to the internet, then I plan to drink back the cost of the 'upgrade'.  I worked out that if I drink an additional 3.3 drinks every day that would pay for the Premium Plus (or 5.2 additional drinks every day if I need to 'earn back' the cost of my daughters upgrade too). There will be a post of every drink I get and possibly, if I'm not too drunk, I will run a timer on how long it takes to get it.  

 

[Oakman58]

While the Epic is my least favorite ship, I'm sure as a first-time cruiser you will have a great time on the Epic.  The bathroom is unique but there is a curtain for privacy that can be pulled between the bathroom and the rest of the cabin.

 

The water slides are fun, and she definitely should go down the toilet bowl slide.  The climbing wall can be a challenge too, and make sure she checks out the teen club.

[spenecer]

23 minutes ago, Oakman58 said:

 

The water slides are fun, and she definitely should go down the toilet bowl slide.  The climbing wall can be a challenge too, and make sure she checks out the teen club.

To give you some idea of the level of teen grumpiness I am already receiving, I have mentioned all these items.  Climbing wall (hard no, she is scared of heights and has refused climbing walls at every Outdoor Ed and Olympic Day event since elementary school).  Toilet Bowl Slide (no, that looks stupid mom, you cannot take a photo of me on the slide). Teen Club (no, teen boys are stupid).  I have arranged to meet up with some parents who are also bringing teen girls outside of the club, so hopefully she will be willing to interact with these girls.  She claims she is only coming on the cruise to spend time with me so that I won't be lonely.

Edited March 20, 2023 by spenecer

[Aauclair]

You are hysterical:). We survived and thrived on the Epic three weeks ago with our 14 year old ( poor kid…I booked the trip on the wrong week of his March Break, so while he got a three week March Break, we could bring no one with us and he was stuck with just us ). 
 

He completely rejected the teen club. 

 

Aruba and St Kitts had awesome beaches, We did the Aerial Tram in St Lucia which was interesting if your kid likes naturey things. We had a guide tell us about all the things that can kill you in the rainforest:). 
 

Pro tip: book the swim with the turtles tour in Curacao with Samurai Tours - total hit with the teen. Also Teppanayaki…but basically he loved the buffet and all the ice cream he could eat. 
 

Pro Pro Tip: unlimited wifi for the teen paid off. Had him find five weird and interesting facts about every stop every morning. I know people criticize unlimited wifi for kids on the ship but they don’t usually have teens. He was not on his phone the whole time;). 
 

I hope you have an awesome time and as with all things, the Free At Sea drink package helps with everything:)

 

 

 

[spenecer]

5 minutes ago, Aauclair said:

 

Pro tip: book the swim with the turtles tour in Curacao with Samurai Tours - total hit with the teen. Also Teppanayaki…but basically he loved the buffet and all the ice cream he could eat. 
 

I did book a Snorkel Trip to Turtle Bay tour through NCL for Curacao (because $100 in excursion credit isn't going to spend itself).  I don't know if this is being sub-contracted to Samurai Tours, but fingers crossed.  I also made a reservation at Teppanyaki for the night we board because the teen likes hibachi (and those 3 specialty meals must be used) though I've been asked to re-direct any attention from the 'chef' away from her because that would be way too embarrassing.

[Travelicious]

Great, funny start!  Looking forward to the rest.

[Aauclair]

Yep. Our guy was the only kid at the table full of overly nice seniors. He would have crawled under the table if that was possible...

 

Anyone getting you to the turtles will be great. If it is the same spot, be warned that there is a man who will yell at everyone from the pier - he is harmless but very loud. Also...water shoes. Teen absolutely refused to put them on...and then did because the rocks were rough. There are no photos with him in those shoes. 

 

Also, absolutely find a waterproof camera ( even a cheap one ) for the turtles. They get really close and the photos are amazing! We even had a pelican land on us. Maybe don't tell her that. 

 

If you can get her to go to Howl at the Moon with you, do it. We couldn't get our kid to go but it is a lot of fun. 

 

 

[spenecer]

19 minutes ago, Aauclair said:

Anyone getting you to the turtles will be great. If it is the same spot, be warned that there is a man who will yell at everyone from the pier - he is harmless but very loud. Also...water shoes. Teen absolutely refused to put them on...and then did because the rocks were rough. There are no photos with him in those shoes. 

 

Also, absolutely find a waterproof camera ( even a cheap one ) for the turtles. They get really close and the photos are amazing! We even had a pelican land on us. Maybe don't tell her that. 

 

If you can get her to go to Howl at the Moon with you, do it. 

I got us waterproof clear bags for our iPhones for the turtles and snorkeling. I hope they work. They had good reviews on Amazon. I also bought water shoes as I wasn’t sure if the tours provided them like the snorkeling equipment. 
 

My daughter has promised to attend all the entertainment with me, possibly to ensure that I make it back to our cabin if I’m too drunk.  She has told me that nobody listens to the Beatles and Elton Jon anymore but on TikTok everyone is playing Flowers by Miley Cyrus. For what it is worth, I know some of the lyrics to the song now and could totally belt it out at Karaoke.  Do the Howl at the Moon performers take requests?  I’m pondering what naughty song I could request that would horribly embarrass her. 

[smillerholmes]

I really enjoy the Epic - I know it is not the most beloved ship in the fleet, but I have always had a good time.

Caveats:  I am a solo traveler so while the bathroom set up is quirky, I just live with it.  As for the balcony cabin thing.  My first two cruises I paid for the balcony (Alaska and Western Caribbean) afterward I bought into the "insides because you spend so little time in the cabin/port intensive" thought process.  So, I keep booking studio/insides, but have never sailed in one because I have been super lucky with the Upgrade Advantage program and each time I have bid at nearly the lowest bid allowed and received a balcony upgrade prior to my cruise.  The most I have paid to go from Studio/Inside to Balcony was $210 (bid was $105) most have been substantially less.  Something to keep in mind if you fall in love with cruising.  Last, but not least I have only been on the Epic for Transatlantic crossings.  Rome to NY and Lisbon to NY.  

 

Cruise Critic is great for giving you the experiences of others as well as tips and tricks to help you get the most of your cruise.  Fortunately, we each place value on what's important to us so you may find you don't feel the same way as the majority of the posters with regard to Epic. Once your cruise is done and you have time to reflect; think about that bathroom layout, smoke stack, missing entertainment and any other negative you heard about and see how much those things ended up impacting your overall cruise enjoyment.  At that point you can decide for yourself if the Epic is "never again" or maybe if I go solo or it was great and I want to take everybody I know on this ship (a slight exaggeration, but I'm sure you get the point).

 

Enjoy your cruise - you only get one first cruise!

 

 

[mking8288]

Following and thank you.  Always refreshing to get a newbie's perspective to cruising - the good, the so so and the not so great onboard experience, getting on the ship and hearing the announcement of it's final call, get off the ship, etc.  Watch for the pier runners.  

 

Do go to the M&G, it's informal, fun and you get to see some of the senior officers in charge of the ship's operations.  They give out a card with their names, titles and onboard extensions to dial directly - if you can post that here, much appreciated in advance.  

 

As for that unique shower & bathroom setup ... pack some sort of (spray it) air freshener - that, plus a bit of natural sound coming from the TV if both of you are in the cabin.  

 

Enjoy that first cruise experience, start the final countdown.  Just think, the ship is boarding with 20 to 25 aircraft's worth of passengers on just one end of Terminal 1 at O'Hare with just 2 gates (referred to as "gangways")   Go with the flow, patience and humor. 

[Aauclair]

1 hour ago, spenecer said:

I got us waterproof clear bags for our iPhones for the turtles and snorkeling. I hope they work. They had good reviews on Amazon. I also bought water shoes as I wasn’t sure if the tours provided them like the snorkeling equipment. 
 

My daughter has promised to attend all the entertainment with me, possibly to ensure that I make it back to our cabin if I’m too drunk.  She has told me that nobody listens to the Beatles and Elton Jon anymore but on TikTok everyone is playing Flowers by Miley Cyrus. For what it is worth, I know some of the lyrics to the song now and could totally belt it out at Karaoke.  Do the Howl at the Moon performers take requests?  I’m pondering what naughty song I could request that would horribly embarrass her. 

Howl at the Moon is all requests! If you add a couple of dollars OR a beer for the boys and a cranberry vodka for Genesis, you will definitely get consideration…add that you want to mortify your teen and they may be all over it! Miley is possibly in their repertoire ( so is Baby Got Back…). 
 

The  Elton John shows are really good - not imitating him really, kind of a tribute to him. The second show is very different than the first ( good broadway feel ). I was surprised how much I liked it. The Beatles is more imitation. My kid really liked the Elton John show ( summer camp songs he knows ) and didn’t like The Beatles ( despite being raised in them ). 
 

 

[Crazy planning mom]

You are off to a great start with your review.

Hope you have a great time!  We were on the Epic a few years ago and really enjoyed it.   

[Jldevlin]

Hate the toilet situation on the Epic .. But love the ship so we booked it again for Greece next year. Teen girls can surprise you ...cranky then lovely ....rinse and repeat. Having this time with her will be something she will never forget. Have a wonderful time and I will be following along.

[Smitheroo]

Please tell us what the bathroom is like that is so different?  

[amygutman]

We booed the Epic for November for a TA - the Haven was literally 1/2 price over other Havens for the same-ish TA itinerary. Even though we know the pool is uncovered (hence, the cheaper fare), and the ship gets not-so-glowing reviews, I think if you go into the trip knowing these things, then it's not worth complaining. 

 

As the mother of an eye-rolling 13 yo boy, I feel your pain, and you are giving DH and I a good laugh at your initial postings. Can't wait to follow along. 

 

Warmest, Amy

[mjkacmom]

On our second cruise, our oldest was 14 (siblings were 12, 9, 7, 7), she wanted to stay home with her friends, we said no, and made her go to the teen club the first night. She met a bunch of girls (no interest in boys, late bloomer) and had a blast. After that, the only cruise she was hesitant about was when she was 20 (no club to meet others), but she and her 19 year old brother were on a mission, and even ran into a girl they met on a previous cruise, soon they had a posse. She did start out with a bad attitude (again, 14 year old girl), but it worked out.

[Oakman58]

1 hour ago, Smitheroo said:

Please tell us what the bathroom is like that is so different?  

 

The toilet will be on one side of the cabin and the shower will be on the other side with path into the living area in the middle.  Both areas are enclosed with frosted glass so you can see the silhouette of the person inside.  The washbasin is actually in the cabin area.  It’s a sight and sound experience.

[genealogyfan]

1 hour ago, Smitheroo said:

Please tell us what the bathroom is like that is so different?  

There is also a large curtain that can be pulled and separates the toilet and the tower/tub from the rest of the cabin.  If you are traveling with someone else and need a private area to change, just pull the curtain and make sure the door to the hall is locked from the inside and then you can change, etc.. My friend and I didn't think the bathroom setup was that big of a deal. We enjoyed having more room behind the curtain to change, etc..

Edited March 20, 2023 by genealogyfan
added words

[Aauclair]

2 hours ago, amygutman said:

We booed the Epic for November for a TA - the Haven was literally 1/2 price over other Havens for the same-ish TA itinerary. Even though we know the pool is uncovered (hence, the cheaper fare), and the ship gets not-so-glowing reviews, I think if you go into the trip knowing these things, then it's not worth complaining. 

 

As the mother of an eye-rolling 13 yo boy, I feel your pain, and you are giving DH and I a good laugh at your initial postings. Can't wait to follow along. 

 

Warmest, Amy

We just came off the Haven on the Epic and had the best time. The staff was outstanding and they totally catered to our teen:). So many good snacks and always a chocolate milk in the fridge. We have been in the Haven on two other ships and The Epic was as great as our other experiences. Maybe it depends on the staff, partly, in which case, we struck gold:). Have fun!

[Smitheroo]

2 hours ago, Oakman58 said:

The toilet will be on one side of the cabin and the shower will be on the other side with path into the living area in the middle.  Both areas are enclosed with frosted glass so you can see the silhouette of the person inside.  The washbasin is actually in the cabin area.  It’s a sight and sound experience.

What were they thinking?  Sounds like an old ship?

[amygutman]

31 minutes ago, Aauclair said:

We just came off the Haven on the Epic and had the best time. The staff was outstanding and they totally catered to our teen:). So many good snacks and always a chocolate milk in the fridge. We have been in the Haven on two other ships and The Epic was as great as our other experiences. Maybe it depends on the staff, partly, in which case, we struck gold:). Have fun!

Merci!!!

It's great when you hear about other fantastic experiences. I think there are 6-7 sea days between the Azores and Port Canaveral at the end of the TA so am looking forward to exploring what looks to be a very cool ship. 

Warmest, Amy 

[Pat.D]

I have enjoyed sailing the Epic a few times and will be sailing her again in a few weeks (her San Juan to NYC reposition).

 

It IS a bit different from the Breakaway and newer ships, but it's still a fine ship.  Yes the stateroom bathrooms are a bit odd (and were not repeated on newer ships), but that's not a deal breaker.  Also the soot from the smokestacks at Spice H2O is only a problem while sailing hard into the wind.  On my last Epic sailing that happened once... (to put this in context, soot raining down was almost daily when I sailed the brand new Prima).

 

On a plus side it's got a nice big Cavern Club with a dance floor for the awesome Beatles show, the Howl At The Moon dueling pianos and comedy club is also nice and big and the Epic has the absolute BEST Spice H20 adults area of the whole NCL fleet, with stadium seating, food and a pool. 

 

I have no doubt you'll have an amazing time.  Don't overthink this, just have fun.

[prov2727]

I loved the Epic and am always ready to defend her, LOL. Disclaimer that I am a solo traveler so the "bathroom situation" was no problem for me. You will LOVE your itinerary. St. Lucia is amazing.

 

[Travelicious]

59 minutes ago, Pat.D said:

It IS a bit different from the Breakaway and newer ships, but it's still a fine ship.  Yes the stateroom bathrooms are a bit odd (and were not repeated on newer ships), but that's not a deal breaker. 

This is pretty much my feeling.  We had a great 11 day cruise on her.  Unfortunately, Spice H20 was closed for repairs, so didn't get it experience it.  Maybe next time.

 

I think the strangest thing for me was that the aft elevators did not go to Deck 5.  You have to get off on 6, walk toward mid-ship and take an escalator down. I've just never experienced that on a ship before.

[AK Dreaming]

I've sailed the Epic so many times!  Every cabin from Solo Cabin, Ocean view, Balcony to 2 Bedroom Haven.  I LOVE the Epic.  Best crew in the Fleet!!.  I sailed a few times out of Barcelona but my last time was the one out of PR that did your ports and it was amazing.  I stayed at the Embassy Suites in PR and it was perfect place to get some rest.  I speak no Spanish and had no issues at any port, especially PR.  BTW made my Dad do the toilet bowl slide.  If only we could have taken a picture.  It was super fun!  Enjoy and tell everyone when you get back what a great ship the Epic is (even with the weird bathrooms)