Questions Regarding Style

[CatalinaUK]

Hello, I'm new to these boards and I'm currently researching a possible Mediterranean cruise for myself & my husband. I've been on one cruise before (Fred Olsen to Iceland) and while I liked the cruise itself, I felt occasionally uncomfortable onboard. And this has to do with my personal style.

 

I am in my 40s with very brightly-coloured hair and a nose piercing. I like to wear 1950s style dresses - you know the whole vintage flair. For my Iceland cruise, I packed practical but very nice clothes. 1950s style slacks with sweater sets and I wore a lovely satin dress on gala nights matched with a low heel pump. All the same, I got the feeling from the other passengers that I didn't dress correctly. I got a few comments from fellow pax that honestly made me unhappy. 

 

As I'm researching my next cruise, I worry that my personal style might continue to make me uncomfortable on cruises? What I've read on these forums also makes me worry because some people say nasty things about others' style.

 

My husband works in men's fashion and while he dresses very, very well, he has visible tattoos and has a distinct (and smart) clothing style. 

 

Any suggestions as to what I can do for us to fit in better and not feel uncomfortable? I am currently looking at Viking Ocean, Azamara, and Oceania which all fulfill our cruise criteria, but also seem to attract a much older crowd. 

 

 

[jsn55]

If your personal style is as described, you're certainly going to stand out in the crowd.  And that's just fine. I'm 6'1 or 2, depending on my shoes.  I often wear a hat with a hatband that compliments my outfit.  I have a coat that's also a big swirling cape.  I stand out in any crowd and I'm perfectly comfortable knowing that some people admire the way I look, some don't.  I'M happy with how I look.

 

I'm rather baffled at why you'd be uncomfortable with your personal style.  It's your choice, isn't it?  Are there other environments where you're uncomfortable with the way you look?  Or just a cruise? 

 

People have their own views of what they like and dislike.  Anyone who would be overtly critical of another's appearance is not worth bothering about.  Think of it this way:  you're getting ready for dinner, you look just like you want to look.  You are seated in the dining room and people look at you.  That applies to all of us.  YOU are happy with how you look, and you're never going to see any of these people again unless you wish to.  Therefore, their opinion of you is of absolutely no importance.  Know that all kinds of people will be delighted to see someone who doesn't just blindly conform to the crowd.  Anyone who is critical doesn't deserve any of your attention whatsoever. 

 

And, so, finally, I will address your question ... I've never been on a cruise that wasn't full of older people, a few families, ancient folks and a younger crowd partying it up.  In other words, a cross-section of financially-comfortable humanity.  So I can't recommend a cruiseline or ship where you might be comfortable with your style.  It will be more efficient if you learn to be comfortable in any environment.  Remember the rule:  you'll never see any of these people again, so who cares what they think?

[CatalinaUK]

You raise some really good points! 

 

In our regular life, my husband and I socialise a lot with people who are also into 1950s fashion (we used to go camping in a nice retro motorhome and attend jitterbug events - my health issues have sadly curtailed some/most of these activities) and so I'm used to not standing out so much.

 

Reading back my post and reading your kind reply makes me wonder if my recent health issues have made me more self-conscious and less confident. That is certainly something for me to ponder. 

 

I'll continue to look at cruises and hopefully I'll find somewhere with good company and interesting ports. And worry less!

 

If anybody sees a pink-haired gal in 1950s sweater sets & cute skirts (and a walking stick) on your next Mediterranean cruise, come and say hello 😊

 

Cat

[gotta cruise again]

@CatalinaUK welcome to Cruise Critic!!

 

Take a look at this trip report:

 

DH and I were on this cruise too and loved seeing and briefly chatting with this couple. Wonderfully charming folks with a unique sense of style. 
 

Maybe seeing that there are other folks who also have a unique personal style will encourage you to fully embrace yours when you cruise, as you do during your non-cruise days.

 

I tend to dress differently (my cruise style) when I cruise and have some clothes that I wear on cruises and rarely wear elsewhere. 
 

Enjoy your style!!

[shipgeeks]

We, too, sometimes get "looked at", but usually by people in wrinkled t-shirts who notice we are in classic tuxedo and perhaps an elegant gown.  (We have regular Senior hair color and other ordinary elements, but we do "dress" when we cruise.)  In at least some of the cases where we were given funny looks, I think the people were uncomfortable with the fact that they had not made any effort, so they covered themselves with "Why would you dress up?" and such.  "I want to take your picture" is one I'm not sure how to take; do you think we look attractive/interesting, or ridiculous?

We really love seeing other passengers who express their style, even if it is not something we would choose.  (Okay, I take that back, we don't so much love it when the style is My Old Gardening Clothes.)

We have some fond memories of people who inspired us to take advantage of the opportunity to dress up, enjoy some glamor, some vintage looks, etc.

As to the cruise lines you mention, I'm sorry I am not familiar with any of them.  Please keep exploring! And I would not mind if you posted pictures!

[Mum2Mercury]

7 hours ago, CatalinaUK said:

I am in my 40s with very brightly-coloured hair and a nose piercing. I like to wear 1950s style dresses - you know the whole vintage flair.

If this is what you enjoy wearing, go for it!  Nothing you just described is at all inappropriate for a cruise.  My only concern is -- and I'm thinking of Caribbean cruises, given that they are the most common -- whether you'd be physically comfortable.  I personally don't need a sweater or wrap in the MDR or theater in the evenings, even in fall or winter.  I'd be a little concerned about you being overly warm in a sweater set.  

7 hours ago, CatalinaUK said:

What I've read on these forums also makes me worry because some people say nasty things about others' style.

Helping people plan for a cruise isn't the same as making comments to fellow passengers.  If someone says something to you in person, here's how you handle it:  Adopt a slightly amused /befuddled look, give a little laugh, tilt your head to the side a bit, lower your chin and look the speaker straight in the eye as you say with confidence:  

- What makes you think that's okay to say? 

- You do realize you actually said that out loud, don't you?  

- So?  

And just stay away from anyone who is anything less than pleasant to you.  You'll almost certainly never see your fellow cruisers again.  

6 hours ago, jsn55 said:

If your personal style is as described, you're certainly going to stand out in the crowd.  And that's just fine. I'm 6'1 or 2, depending on my shoes.  I often wear a hat with a hatband that compliments my outfit.  I have a coat that's also a big swirling cape.  I stand out in any crowd and I'm perfectly comfortable knowing that some people admire the way I look, some don't.  I'M happy with how I look.

Standing out can be a good thing.  I'm only 4'11", and I guarantee that if you and I walked up to a bar side-by-side, you'd be waited up on before me.  Being your opposite, I am often ignored.  

6 hours ago, jsn55 said:

I'm rather baffled at why you'd be uncomfortable with your personal style.  It's your choice, isn't it?  Are there other environments where you're uncomfortable with the way you look?  Or just a cruise? 

Good question. 

1 hour ago, shipgeeks said:

In at least some of the cases where we were given funny looks, I think the people were uncomfortable with the fact that they had not made any effort, so they covered themselves with "Why would you dress up?" and such.

Totally agree.  

[shipgeeks]

Some further thoughts on my part, and perhaps the other side of the coin.

I make an effort to dress well/interestingly/creatively.  I love a lot of vintage glamor. But if our paths crossed, and you happened to look my way, you might see a grimace that you could interpret as disapproval. In reality, I'm probably saying to myself, "Ugh, I hate being such a Plain Jane. All these years of trying, and I'm again reminded that I'm still ordinary and boring". Then you might turn away just before I gave you the big smile of "well done".

 

 

 

[shipgeeks]

30 minutes ago, Mum2Mercury said:

If this is what you enjoy wearing, go for it!  Nothing you just described is at all inappropriate for a cruise.  My only concern is -- and I'm thinking of Caribbean cruises, given that they are the most common -- whether you'd be physically comfortable.  I personally don't need a sweater or wrap in the MDR or theater in the evenings, even in fall or winter.  I'd be a little concerned about you being overly warm in a sweater set.  

And I am just the opposite!  I now wear long sleeves every evening on a cruise, especially on the ships that have had enhanced post-covid AC installed. I miss wearing many of my sleeveless dresses, but I refuse to do what some end up with, a big grey hoodie over a nice outfit.

[slidergirl]

You do you.  Rock the hair (I wish my post-COVID hair could take some bright pink!!).  Wear the Vintage clothes.  I have a friend who does that and I love it.  I think what happens is that some women have set idea as to what is "cruise attire" and they can't understand why some don't follow along.  Me?  I'm an old hippie lady and casual mountain town resident and that's how I dress.  I have zero need to be admired for my choice of clothes.   The dress "recommendations" from the cruise lines give wide latitude to the clothes that fall with the recommendations.    Some women may clutch their pearls and faint at the sight of a women dressing different from their opinion of what is appropriate - just ignore them or give them a snarky smile.  They are the ones living in "Blandland". 😉

 

[Wayfairers]

Unfortunately, many people believe that their way is the only correct way and anyone doing anything else is wrong and inappropriate.  I have some of those people in my life, and they are people I do not want remove from my circle so I have learned to be me and do my thing ignoring the snide comments and sideways looks.  Takes some self confidence, but surprisingly, I have found that once I quit worrying about  their reactions, my confidence has grown exponentially.  They do this not just to me but to everyone they meet in life.  Rather than keep an open mind and get to know someone, they prejudge and as a result have few or no friends.

 

When I am on a cruise ship I know we will see people many times as we take long cruises.   If I see someone judging me I make it a point to talk to them - sometimes they run the next time they see me (LOL) but sometimes I have misunderstood their body language and I make a new friend.

 

It is unfortunate that people on a cruise ship made you feel badly about who you are and how you dress.  Screw them…..you enjoy your trip being the person you choose to be.

Edited August 28, 2023 by Wayfairers

[Kristelle]

Just on the point you raised about visible tattoos  - surely these are a non event for everybody now , so many people have visible tattoos that it is unremarkable, on a cruise or anywhere. 

 

My husband has a couple of visible tattoos - haven't noticed anybody being even slightly interested or bothered by that. 

 

And too bad if they are. 

[islandgirlejfan]

3 hours ago, Kristelle said:

Just on the point you raised about visible tattoos  - surely these are a non event for everybody now , so many people have visible tattoos that it is unremarkable, on a cruise or anywhere. 

 

My husband has a couple of visible tattoos - haven't noticed anybody being even slightly interested or bothered by that. 

 

And too bad if they are. 

I totally agree....I'm 61 and a much older gal than myself on a Celebrity cruise was a push for me to finally take the leap to get my own tattoo (she had several!).  So many people have them in places that are seen that it's really a non issue.

[islandgirlejfan]

On 8/26/2023 at 1:11 PM, CatalinaUK said:

You raise some really good points! 

 

In our regular life, my husband and I socialise a lot with people who are also into 1950s fashion (we used to go camping in a nice retro motorhome and attend jitterbug events - my health issues have sadly curtailed some/most of these activities) and so I'm used to not standing out so much.

 

Reading back my post and reading your kind reply makes me wonder if my recent health issues have made me more self-conscious and less confident. That is certainly something for me to ponder. 

 

I'll continue to look at cruises and hopefully I'll find somewhere with good company and interesting ports. And worry less!

 

If anybody sees a pink-haired gal in 1950s sweater sets & cute skirts (and a walking stick) on your next Mediterranean cruise, come and say hello 😊

 

Cat

Just be you....I think it's awesome that you have a style.  Truthfully, it sounds like a lot of fun!  Life is way too short to even care what someone else is thinking.  

[Mary229]

If you are traveling in summer to the Med it will be hot.  That will have an impact on your fashion choices. 
 

I am of the mind as long as I am neat and clean it is all good.  You are probably noticing the wrong people on the cruise, there are plenty of us on cruises who march to our own drummer and who don’t watch other people’s attire.  At least you are stylish which is more than I can say for myself.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Mary229

[2BACRUISER]

Given your age Fred Olsen maybe wasnt the best choice for your first cruise lol 😀 its known for its older demographic and shall we say traditional style. As others have stated hold your head up high dress in what you feel good in, vintage fashion is very on trend and lots of versions of it were seen at both Royal Ascot and the Ebor meeting in York, ladies and gents both looked fab, whilst there may be not many wearers on a cruise i'm sure you look fab so go channel your inner Doris Day, Audrey Hepburn or Jayne Mansfield and enjoy yourself. 

[Mum2Mercury]

On 8/26/2023 at 7:01 PM, shipgeeks said:

Some further thoughts on my part, and perhaps the other side of the coin.

I make an effort to dress well/interestingly/creatively.  I love a lot of vintage glamor. But if our paths crossed, and you happened to look my way, you might see a grimace that you could interpret as disapproval. In reality, I'm probably saying to myself, "Ugh, I hate being such a Plain Jane. All these years of trying, and I'm again reminded that I'm still ordinary and boring". Then you might turn away just before I gave you the big smile of "well done".

Very good point.  It's too easy to assume that we know what someone is thinking based upon a moment of facial features.  It's just not true, and most people's interest in your clothing might last 2-3 seconds at most -- then they'll forget you.  

On 8/26/2023 at 7:15 PM, shipgeeks said:

And I am just the opposite!  I now wear long sleeves every evening on a cruise, especially on the ships that have had enhanced post-covid AC installed. I miss wearing many of my sleeveless dresses, but I refuse to do what some end up with, a big grey hoodie over a nice outfit.

The point being, Know thyself.  Valid.  

 

Yeah, I love my toasty gray hoodie, which hangs on a hook next to the dog's leash.  I have no plans to take it cruising.  But -- for a cruise -- options exist in between gray hoodie and the cold.  A nice wrap, a colorful sweater?  Maybe you don't have to say goodbye to the sleeveless dresses you already own and have enjoyed.  

On 8/30/2023 at 7:39 AM, Kristelle said:

Just on the point you raised about visible tattoos  - surely these are a non event for everybody now , so many people have visible tattoos that it is unremarkable, on a cruise or anywhere. 

I've never seen a tattoo that I personally didn't consider ugly; but it's not my business to care about other people's choices, and -- as you say -- they're mainstream now.  Not remarkable or rebellious as they once were.  

On 9/1/2023 at 7:43 PM, Mary229 said:

I am of the mind as long as I am neat and clean it is all good. 

Agree with moderation.  Your athletic clothes, even if straight from the washer, non-stained, no picks or holes, still aren't quite right for the MDR -- but I'm talking extremes.  

[Mary229]

On 9/6/2023 at 10:13 AM, Mum2Mercury said:

Agree with moderation.  Your athletic clothes, even if straight from the washer, non-stained, no picks or holes, still aren't quite right for the MDR -- but I'm talking extreme

I guess my overall point is one should pay no attention to the people who fancy themselves the fashion police.  Just follow the guidelines published by the cruise line and ignore the self appointed hall monitors. 

[iTownPrincess]

On 8/26/2023 at 11:18 AM, CatalinaUK said:

Any suggestions as to what I can do for us to fit in better and not feel uncomfortable? I am currently looking at Viking Ocean, Azamara, and Oceania which all fulfill our cruise criteria, but also seem to attract a much older crowd. 

 

 

Once you have been on a few more cruises you will probably discover that your unique style is far less unusual than your first experience indicated. I have seen some truly bizarre and outlandish (IMO) outfits on many passengers. Something they all had in common was having a great time! I urge you to let your style flag fly high and enjoy yourself to the max. Attitude is everything! 😀

[rtdiva]

On 8/26/2023 at 8:18 AM, CatalinaUK said:

Hello, I'm new to these boards and I'm currently researching a possible Mediterranean cruise for myself & my husband. I've been on one cruise before (Fred Olsen to Iceland) and while I liked the cruise itself, I felt occasionally uncomfortable onboard. And this has to do with my personal style.

 

I am in my 40s with very brightly-coloured hair and a nose piercing. I like to wear 1950s style dresses - you know the whole vintage flair. For my Iceland cruise, I packed practical but very nice clothes. 1950s style slacks with sweater sets and I wore a lovely satin dress on gala nights matched with a low heel pump. All the same, I got the feeling from the other passengers that I didn't dress correctly. I got a few comments from fellow pax that honestly made me unhappy. 

 

As I'm researching my next cruise, I worry that my personal style might continue to make me uncomfortable on cruises? What I've read on these forums also makes me worry because some people say nasty things about others' style.

 

My husband works in men's fashion and while he dresses very, very well, he has visible tattoos and has a distinct (and smart) clothing style. 

 

Any suggestions as to what I can do for us to fit in better and not feel uncomfortable? I am currently looking at Viking Ocean, Azamara, and Oceania which all fulfill our cruise criteria, but also seem to attract a much older crowd. 

 

 

First of all I’m sorry that your first cruise made you doubting yourself.  Second I’m glad you didn’t give up on cruising. That said- Cunard has a dance floor full of unusual clothing on quirky people. That sounded judgmental, I like quirky people. However then there is a matter of taste. Tastefully quirky is not the same as “scandalous”. 
 

I must admit I like artsy clothing but hesitate to wear them, I don’t know why. A couple of women wore exactly what I like, on the last cruise, I was on, made me have second thoughts.  I promised myself to wear what I’m drawn too regardless of the occasion.

 

I bet fifties style cotton thin strapped dresses or two piece short sets will be comfortable in the Mediterranean. Enjoy!