Cruising alone after loss of husband

[mskitty1]

My dear husband passed on recently.  We were 5 star Mariners with over 1000 actual sailing days on a DAM ship.  I'm thinking of booking the Volendam for April 21, 2024-Ft Lauderdale to Montreal.  Just a little nervous as it would be my first cruise without him by myself.  Actually, I'm a pretty independent person, but need some advice from you solo widowed cruisers.  I don't mind going to hear music or to the shows or the casino or to the pool by myself or even some shore excursions.  And in Canada I'm not at all afraid to venture off the ship by myself.  We have taken many, many Canadian cruises with HAL.  Are there activities/"meet n greets" for solos?  I would prefer to meet some people for conversation so am wondering about dining.  We always liked to have Early dining with the Fixed Seating so we could have the same waiters.  What do you find is best when on your own?   I know that the GREAT HAL crew will make it a fun enjoyable cruise!  

[crystalspin]

Hi Kitty! First, my condolences. I cannot speak from experience, but wanted to direct you to:

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/forum/279-solo-cruisers/

and

https://boards.cruisecritic.com/forum/85-singles-cruises/

 

You might think that "singles" would be strictly for solos wanting to "hook up", but scanning the first page, it seems there is about 50% overlap with issues such as loneliness on board, etc, cropping up.

[3rdGenCunarder]

@mskitty1, as one who can speak from experiences, I am sorry to learn of your loss. Your attitude/approach to cruising sounds a lot like mine. I'm braver about wandering alone in some ports than in others. 

 

This thread was started last spring. Many long-time HAL cruisers posted their experiences. I think it will help you find the confidence to travel on your own. 

 

 

[julia]

My condolences on your loss.  First and foremost would be for you to join your roll call and be proactive on it (without divulging anything too personal).  You may very well cultivate other singles who will be grateful for your cruising expertise.

[Gsel]

I will also be taking my First solo cruise this year. Traveled for years by myself when younger and the world seemed safer. (Or maybe I was too young and innocent!)

Now I know this is what DH would want me to do.  My love of ships and seeing everything I can will help!

[vswan]

I'm the original poster of the thread referred to you above. I understand where you are coming from but thought I'd give a bit of an update. My husband will be gone a year next month. I decided that at 66, I could either continue to do what I love or stay home by myself.

 

I went on my first cruise in August with my 14 yr old grandson. Just the two of us. I went on another in November with my daughter. It was good to cruise with someone who understood where I was at in my recovery. I had a good time and am now confident to be able to branch out on my first solo cruise. I leave next week for an 11 day cruise. I'm taking my mom to Florida to visit friends and decided I would jump on a cruise ship while she visits. Since Tampa was not a port for HAL, I choose to do the NCL option which has daily solo gatherings. I am 3 star on HAL and platinum on NCL, so have cruised both lines quite a bit. I'm excited to go and give this a try. I did book most excursions through the cruiseline. Right now that is my comfort level. Agree, join your roll call. You are not alone as a solo cruiser, think more are doing it all the time.

 

[cruising Katie]

I am sorry for your loss.  I have been widowed for 18 years,, and some things never get better.

I started solo cruising on smaller ships, Azamara and Emerald River Cruises.  I loved the size and the number of cruisers.  Once I had a few under my belt I tried bigger ships, like Hollands.  I am not into the glitz and glam of other lines ships, and prefer the elegance and familiarity of Holland.  I have made wonderful friends over the years, and cherish them all.  I have found that when dining in the MDR I always ask for a 6 person table with others.  Each night is fun, meeting new people, and by the end of the cruise you have another great bunch of new friends.  A table of 8 is a little too big, harder to talk across. Holland ships have lots of quiet places to be alone if you want to be or your stateroom can be a haven for sad memories. 

 

Kate 

[shipmeoff!]

MsKitty, my mother and I did many mom/daughter trips on HAL after my father passed away. Our TA recommended requesting fixed dining at a table for 6, and we stuck to that after the first trip turned out so well.

 

In our experience, the tablemates that were selected for us by the dining room planners were amazing. Very often our table included at least one or two solo female travelers, in about mom’s age range, and the connections were easy and genuine. This was prior to Covid but I hope that the same thought goes in to the fixed seating now. 
 

edited to add - Kate ❤️ 😊

Edited January 9 by shipmeoff!

[Niagarawine]

Very sorry for your loss. We cruised after the loss of our son and Inwas unsure how it would be. What I found was that the passengers on the ship were very kind and easy to make friends with and it provided healing for us. We had other solo passengers at our table and we all enjoyed making new friends. 

[DaveOKC]

Not a solo traveler, but we dine at Open seating and enjoy tables for 6 the best.  Very often we are joined by one or two solos and have always enjoyed their company, so go for it!

[richwmn]

1 hour ago, mskitty1 said:

I'm thinking of booking the Volendam for April 21, 2024-Ft Lauderdale to Montreal.  Just a little nervous as it would be my first cruise without him by myself.  Actually, I'm a pretty independent person, but need some advice from you solo widowed cruisers. 

Please consider joining the roll call

you will not be the only solo cruiser, and actually not the only recent widow.

 

[luvteaching]

@mskitty1 My condolences on your DH's passing. I lost mine on June 27th after 46 years married. He loved to cruise and, even with his mobility issues and memory loss, it was a good vacation strategy for us. All our cruises were to Alaska out of Seattle and I'd already paid for one in September (he insisted he was going to go) so I went. I did quite well. I had a table for 6 in the dining room and 3 of us were there every night but Juneau. After the first night the other couple didn't return - said it was too early for them. We drank a toast to DH and went on with things. The cruise was good for me and he'd be happy that I went. I have cruises booked for summer 2024 and am hoping to do a burial at sea with a small portion of his ashes. He'd have liked that. 

 

I always felt safe and found people to visit with. In ports, since we'd been to them many times, I did my own wandering and went to some of our favorite places. 

 

Karen

[shippmates]

45 minutes ago, luvteaching said:

@mskitty1 My condolences on your DH's passing. I lost mine on June 27th after 46 years married. He loved to cruise and, even with his mobility issues and memory loss, it was a good vacation strategy for us. All our cruises were to Alaska out of Seattle and I'd already paid for one in September (he insisted he was going to go) so I went. I did quite well. I had a table for 6 in the dining room and 3 of us were there every night but Juneau. After the first night the other couple didn't return - said it was too early for them. We drank a toast to DH and went on with things. The cruise was good for me and he'd be happy that I went. I have cruises booked for summer 2024 and am hoping to do a burial at sea with a small portion of his ashes. He'd have liked that. 

 

I always felt safe and found people to visit with. In ports, since we'd been to them many times, I did my own wandering and went to some of our favorite places. 

 

Karen

I am sorry for your loss.  I loss my DH 2 years ago and made several solo sailings.  I boarded by myself but met some friends I met on other sailings.  My first solo sailing was on QM2 and buried my DH at sea.  It was the easier thing to arrange.  You do have to contact the cruise line and furnish proof that the urn is biodegradable and a certificate from the crematorium.  They will email you all the details and once on board the Captain will inform you when the ceremony will be.  QM2 has a private area where the service is performed and you are able to stay in that area for as long as you need.

It is interesting and different to sail solo and I have enjoyed them all.  I hope you enjoy them and keep traveling the world.

[kazu]

2 hours ago, mskitty1 said:

My dear husband passed on recently.  We were 5 star Mariners with over 1000 actual sailing days on a DAM ship.  I'm thinking of booking the Volendam for April 21, 2024-Ft Lauderdale to Montreal.  Just a little nervous as it would be my first cruise without him by myself.  Actually, I'm a pretty independent person, but need some advice from you solo widowed cruisers.  I don't mind going to hear music or to the shows or the casino or to the pool by myself or even some shore excursions.  And in Canada I'm not at all afraid to venture off the ship by myself.  We have taken many, many Canadian cruises with HAL.  Are there activities/"meet n greets" for solos?  I would prefer to meet some people for conversation so am wondering about dining.  We always liked to have Early dining with the Fixed Seating so we could have the same waiters.  What do you find is best when on your own?   I know that the GREAT HAL crew will make it a fun enjoyable cruise!  

 

I am SO very sorry to hear of your loss. 💔.  

 

Yes, there is a get together for solos and usually a luncheon as well.

 

I travel alone now as I am now in your situation.  fixed dining gives you the opportunity to have the same people each night and get to know them.  

 

My advice is to join your roll call.  You may well find some people you can connect with.  There’s a Meet and Greet planned for our first sea day (first full day of the cruise) so go ahead and book and join us. 

 

Your DD DH (Dearly Departed Dear Husband) would want you to go, I’m sure. 

 

I won’t lie - being solo is different and can be hard at times with loss  - but, it will get less daunting as you do it more.

 

Do book and join us.  The Volendam is the perfect ship to be sure to see some people you know again.

 

 

 

1 hour ago, richwmn said:

Please consider joining the roll call

you will not be the only solo cruiser, and actually not the only recent widow.

 

 

Sadly, that is so true.  

[RuthC]

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your husband. I, too, know what it feels like to have loved cruising, and now have to go alone. It's scary. 
I will say flat out that the first cruise alone was very tough, but will also say that every cruise after that got easier and easier, until it became second nature. 

I agree with so many others who have posted that fixed seating, at a table for six, is best; ask for a round table. You get to know a few people well, much better than open seating, and come to look forward to dinner time. It's nice to have the same people with whom to share the details of the day. 

It will be incumbent on you to get out and mix & mingle. If you go to a lounge, don't sit all alone at a table, but rather hop up on a barstool and chat with people next to you. Go to activities you enjoy, ask to join a team, find an open seat at a show or lecture and start chatting with the person next to you. 
Having a cabin to yourself will give you a place to escape to when you need some down time; you will need to get away once in a while. Expect it. 

After a while, things will get better and easier. You will learn to be alone, and to travel alone! 
Since my husband died I have more than 700 additional HAL days, and I have to say most of them have been a joy. 

Chin up. 

[3rdGenCunarder]

2 hours ago, shipmeoff! said:

MsKitty, my mother and I did many mom/daughter trips on HAL after my father passed away. Our TA recommended requesting fixed dining at a table for 6, and we stuck to that after the first trip turned out so well.

 

In our experience, the tablemates that were selected for us by the dining room planners were amazing. Very often our table included at least one or two solo female travelers, in about mom’s age range, and the connections were easy and genuine. This was prior to Covid but I hope that the same thought goes in to the fixed seating now. 
 

edited to add - Kate ❤️ 😊

 

I don't know how they do it, but cruise lines manage to assemble tables of people who find common interests. Maybe it's just that people who ask for fixed dining at large tables are open to meeting others. Last winter, I sat with two other couples. We all love theater and art museums. What are the odds???

 

My last cruise was on Queen Victoria. It was a table for 10, one couple and the rest singles. On a table that large, conversations do get fragmented, but we filled in as we arrived, so we sat in different combinations each night. It was fantastic--we laughed so much, it was good we were way at the back where we couldn't disturb too many people! I met the food and beverage manager and I asked her how they put tables together and she said "Managing a restaurant is an art." All I can say is HAL and Cunard are good at that art. 

 

To anyone unsure about asking for a large table, I agree with @DaveOKC, go for it!

[StLouisCruisers]

On our last cruise in August, we would go to Ocean Bar before dinner each night.  DH and I noticed a woman who usually sat near us, who was alone every night.  After a couple of days of this I got up and went over to her to ask if she would like to join us.  She quickly agreed and we soon found out she was a recent widow.  She was named Sharon from the Toronto area and this was only her second cruise since her husband passed away.  We enjoyed sharing where we liked to cruise.  After a few nights of inviting her to join us she started coming in and coming right over to us.  We always enjoyed sharing the before dinner cocktail time with her and I know she smiled a lot more after that. Someday it may be one of us on a cruise ship without our partner and we would love to find others who would like our company.

[3rdGenCunarder]

3 hours ago, StLouisCruisers said:

On our last cruise in August, we would go to Ocean Bar before dinner each night.  DH and I noticed a woman who usually sat near us, who was alone every night.  After a couple of days of this I got up and went over to her to ask if she would like to join us.  She quickly agreed and we soon found out she was a recent widow.  She was named Sharon from the Toronto area and this was only her second cruise since her husband passed away.  We enjoyed sharing where we liked to cruise.  After a few nights of inviting her to join us she started coming in and coming right over to us.  We always enjoyed sharing the before dinner cocktail time with her and I know she smiled a lot more after that. Someday it may be one of us on a cruise ship without our partner and we would love to find others who would like our company.

 

What a lovely story! One of the things I love about HAL is that passengers are friendly. I think women traveling solo kind of look out for each other and try to be friendly. I guess we notice kindred spirits. 

[Haljo1935]

@mskitty1 condolences on losing your husband.🙏

I am fresh off my first solo cruise (disembarked 3 days ago) although a different situation than yours. Cruising w/DH, we usually ate in the Lido as he does not like the waiting that can happen between courses in MDR. This cruise w/o him, I had fixed late dining and asked the first night if I could change tables if it wasn't a fit - of course, was told yes, but it wasn't necessary - we gelled and conversation was easy.

I agreed to a sharing table at breakfast and mostly it was good. Lunch was either Lido, GDC, pizza or Dive In - always solo; it was my time to reflect and just chill.

I booked 1 excursion through the ship and ended up being "adopted" by a 3-person family who invited to join them at dinner one night. We also shared a shuttle 2 days going into port. The other ports I went out on my own as I felt comfortable even though I'd never been to them before. There are ports I've been to w/DH that I would not go to alone, so going on excursions alone or w/an organized group would be on a case-by-case basis for me.

I felt perfectly comfortable going to shows, etc on the ship by myself and spa time (Thermalpass addict right here 😀) is always solo for me.

As others mentioned, the roll call for your specific cruise is a great place for making connections. There will be events for solos on the ship, both through the ship (listed on the daily program) and likely from the roll call; I did not go to any, so cannot comment on what they're like, but would think they'd be different cruise to cruise based on passenger mix.

Nice to hear you are looking to continue to cruise - water and travel can be relaxing, healing and therapeutic. I hope you make many new wonderful memories. And be sure to show yourself some grace when things get a bit bumpy. ❤️

[CruisinS]

22 hours ago, mskitty1 said:

My dear husband passed on recently.  We were 5 star Mariners with over 1000 actual sailing days on a DAM ship.  I'm thinking of booking the Volendam for April 21, 2024-Ft Lauderdale to Montreal.  Just a little nervous as it would be my first cruise without him by myself.  Actually, I'm a pretty independent person, but need some advice from you solo widowed cruisers.  I don't mind going to hear music or to the shows or the casino or to the pool by myself or even some shore excursions.  And in Canada I'm not at all afraid to venture off the ship by myself.  We have taken many, many Canadian cruises with HAL.  Are there activities/"meet n greets" for solos?  I would prefer to meet some people for conversation so am wondering about dining.  We always liked to have Early dining with the Fixed Seating so we could have the same waiters.  What do you find is best when on your own?   I know that the GREAT HAL crew will make it a fun enjoyable cruise!  

Hi!  I am also on that Volendam cruise and am a widow traveling solo.  There is a rollcall for the cruise you can join - a Meet and Greet is being scheduled... so you can meet others.  I believe there are daily "solo luncheons" on sea days where you could meet people and maybe someone to dine with (I have open sitting this cruise, but like to dine later in the evening).  Join the Roll Call!

Susan

[Bemidji Ty]

My deepest condolences. 

 

It reminded me of a cruise we took a few years ago.  We were at a fixed-time table for 8 in the main dining room.  It included a single man (late 70's to early 80's) seated with us.  As we were introducing ourselves, the gentleman told us that he had lost his wife about a year previously.  They had taken many cruises together and their daughters had encouraged him to cruise again and get on with his life.  He was a learned, articulate gentleman with a well-developed sense of humor and appeared to be a man of means.  Toward the end of the cruise, he told us that his daughters would be picking him up at the port.  We seriously discussed having a couple of the younger ladies at our table join him when his daughters picked him up - one on each arm - with him saying, "These are my new friends."  I don't believe we did it due to flights.  But, we spent a delightful evening planning it - including him guessing what his daughters' reactions would be.

 

Cheers