Vow Renewal Surprise

[ChiefMateJRK]

4 hours ago, SomewhereGirl said:

The OP is asking how to set it up, not for opinions on if they should.

Yep.

 

@bookgirl1384: "How should I set it up?"

@ChiefMateJRK: "Not at all."

 

Asked and answered.  Next?

[cruisernh]

Just don't forget ladies like to choose their dresses. So the "groom" will need to make sure she has a beautiful dress to wear.

[ChiefMateJRK]

42 minutes ago, cruisernh said:

So the "groom" will need to make sure she has a beautiful dress to wear.

Some of us have pretty much concluded that the groom is not thinking any of this through.🤣

 

hint: it is the posters suggesting that the OP calls the whole thing off.😎

[complawyer]

im just really curious, why would anyone want to make the same mistake twice? LOL

[realtorgranny]

I only wish my husband was romantic enough to surprise me with a vow renewal. We renewed our vows after 25 years and I had to plan everything. I’d like just one time that he would take the initiative and do something sweet like that. 
Yes, contact Guest Services and they will assist him/you with everything. Have a wonderful time on your cruise and know that you are so blessed to still have your parents to share these memories with.

[Wayward Son]

12 minutes ago, realtorgranny said:

I’d like just one time that he would take the initiative and do something sweet like that.

 

I suggested a vow renewal to my wife for our 20th anniversary. Her response was, "Why? Didn't you mean it the first time?"

 

Haven't considered it again since, and, the reason I suggested that he should maybe not just surprise her.

 

 

[Susandt]

21 hours ago, Wayward Son said:

 

 

I don't tend to agree much with zqvol, but, oh my. Vow renewal isn't something you just pop on someone. Your dad might be the one in for the surprise.

 

But, I'm sure it will be fine. Have fun!

 

 

 

Totally agree

[omahabob]

We did a vow renewal on our 40th a few years ago. I secretly bought my wife a custom made three diamond ring representing past, present and future. Beside our hotel was a tourist gift shop with a billboard advertising $29.95 wedding sets, and I kept joking we should buy one for our ceremony. At the chapel, I got down on one knee, presented her the ring and asked her to marry me again. Her response was, "Is it real?" She thought maybe I'd snuck off for the $29.95 special.

[gizfish]

23 hours ago, fastpitchdad said:

For those saying this is a bad idea, you need to leave it up to the OP because you don't know the situation. My wife talks about doing an exotic vow renewal all the time, I guarantee if I surprised her with one she would be 100% thrilled. 

I am sure the exotic trip part of it would thrill her.  But the part where you read your vows to her, and then because it's a surprise, she stands there tongue tied, will almost certainly not thrill her.  The whole point of a vow renewal is that the two of you read your vows to each other.  If it's a surprise for one of you, it kinda turns into a surprise quiz in a class they didn't take.  Don't know about you, but decades out of school, and I still have that recurrent nightmare.

[ChiefMateJRK]

Some people just don't enjoy surprises of any kind.  Period.  They create awkward moments and can overwhelm the "victim."  I hear many more reports from people claiming "they loved my surprise" than those claiming "I loved being surprised."  In fact, I can't remember a single such report.  Even in this thread, we're hearing unsubstantiated claims that somebody's genius preplanned surprise will be loved by the target/victim.  Let's hear from the victims.

[mjkacmom]

Keep in mind the package costs around $2000 if you want to go that route.

[schmoopie17]

We got married on a mountaintop overlooking Lake Tahoe. We were married by a minister we found online. May, or may not, have been a real minister...which means we may, or may not have been officially married. However, we did have a license, so I guess so.

 

But because it always seemed a bit...I don't know...unofficial, we decided to do a 10 year vow renewal in our church with our REAL pastor. 

 

Oh...and I hesitate to say this, but the renewal was my idea. Mrs. Schmoopie (maybe reluctantly) agreed to it. 

 

Oh, and regarding the comment about women wanting to wear a nice dress...our renewal ceremony was completely casual. Everyone wore shorts, etc. Mrs. Schmoopie wore a t-shirt that said, "He's so nice, I married him twice". (Everyone knew that was a lie, but went a long with it)...

[Wayward Son]

I think we've beaten this, somewhat unusual, topic enough. So I'll just give my wife's point of view and be done.

 

In her mind, a marriage vow is a lifetime deal. It doesn't fade, or lose meaning over time. It doesn't need to be renewed like a Costco membership.

 

If I'd pop this on her without consulting her, she'd deal with it, but be one angry little puppy.

 

To each their own.

 

[bookgirl1384]

I do appreciate the concern about the surprise aspect, but we have thought this through and are confident it will be good. My mom did buy a beautiful formal gown for the cruise for a formal night (she may believe this is more important than it is.....) and a few more casual dresses. She hasn't let my dad see the formal dress because she wants him to see it for the first time on the cruise, as he has never seen her in a formal gown. This will not be a surprise walk-into-the-room deal, he is just keeping it a surprise until they head off on their trip a few days pre-cruise. She will have time to prepare vows if she wishes to do so. She is a big fan of surprises and romance, which my dad doesn't typically do. I completely get that not all people would like or enjoy this, but pretty sure she will. We are bringing a bouquet for her as well. They did not do a real wedding the first time around. The only thing that would make this better for her would be if her other (adult) kids joined, but we tried, and they all backed out for various reasons. I was just looking for the how-to book, but the poster who gave me the link took care of that answer.  

[ColeThornton]

16 minutes ago, bookgirl1384 said:

I do appreciate the concern about the surprise aspect, but we have thought this through and are confident it will be good. My mom did buy a beautiful formal gown for the cruise for a formal night (she may believe this is more important than it is.....) and a few more casual dresses. She hasn't let my dad see the formal dress because she wants him to see it for the first time on the cruise, as he has never seen her in a formal gown. This will not be a surprise walk-into-the-room deal, he is just keeping it a surprise until they head off on their trip a few days pre-cruise. She will have time to prepare vows if she wishes to do so. She is a big fan of surprises and romance, which my dad doesn't typically do. I completely get that not all people would like or enjoy this, but pretty sure she will. We are bringing a bouquet for her as well. They did not do a real wedding the first time around. The only thing that would make this better for her would be if her other (adult) kids joined, but we tried, and they all backed out for various reasons. I was just looking for the how-to book, but the poster who gave me the link took care of that answer.  

 

 

Hope everything turns out wonderfully for all.   Let us know how it went.  😉

[zqvol]

1 hour ago, bookgirl1384 said:

I do appreciate the concern about the surprise aspect, but we have thought this through and are confident it will be good. My mom did buy a beautiful formal gown for the cruise for a formal night (she may believe this is more important than it is.....) and a few more casual dresses. She hasn't let my dad see the formal dress because she wants him to see it for the first time on the cruise, as he has never seen her in a formal gown. This will not be a surprise walk-into-the-room deal, he is just keeping it a surprise until they head off on their trip a few days pre-cruise. She will have time to prepare vows if she wishes to do so. She is a big fan of surprises and romance, which my dad doesn't typically do. I completely get that not all people would like or enjoy this, but pretty sure she will. We are bringing a bouquet for her as well. They did not do a real wedding the first time around. The only thing that would make this better for her would be if her other (adult) kids joined, but we tried, and they all backed out for various reasons. I was just looking for the how-to book, but the poster who gave me the link took care of that answer.  

If your bouquet is real check with NCL. Fresh flowers are not allowed on board according to the FAQs

[bookgirl1384]

6 minutes ago, zqvol said:

If your bouquet is real check with NCL. Fresh flowers are not allowed on board according to the FAQs

Thank you - it is a small silk flower one since we are still several weeks out. I'm not surprised no live flowers are allowed.

[schmoopie17]

4 hours ago, bookgirl1384 said:

I do appreciate the concern about the surprise aspect, but we have thought this through and are confident it will be good. 

Now you've done it...you've made the anti-surprise group on this board very upset. 

I don't know if they'll ever be able to forgive you. 😛

[ChiefMateJRK]

18 minutes ago, schmoopie17 said:

Now you've done it...you've made the anti-surprise group on this board very upset. 

I don't know if they'll ever be able to forgive you. 😛

Speaking for the entire anti-surprise group:

a) "confident it will be good" doesn't play in Peoria

b) we're all quite calm and nobody is upset about anything but hash browns😎

 

disclaimer: I once lived in Peoria.

Edited June 13 by ChiefMateJRK

[gizfish]

12 hours ago, bookgirl1384 said:

I do appreciate the concern about the surprise aspect, but we have thought this through and are confident it will be good. My mom did buy a beautiful formal gown for the cruise for a formal night (she may believe this is more important than it is.....) and a few more casual dresses. She hasn't let my dad see the formal dress because she wants him to see it for the first time on the cruise, as he has never seen her in a formal gown. This will not be a surprise walk-into-the-room deal, he is just keeping it a surprise until they head off on their trip a few days pre-cruise. She will have time to prepare vows if she wishes to do so. She is a big fan of surprises and romance, which my dad doesn't typically do. I completely get that not all people would like or enjoy this, but pretty sure she will. We are bringing a bouquet for her as well. They did not do a real wedding the first time around. The only thing that would make this better for her would be if her other (adult) kids joined, but we tried, and they all backed out for various reasons. I was just looking for the how-to book, but the poster who gave me the link took care of that answer.  

Well now that you have explained that it's not really a surprise, the whole thing sounds lovely.  I have a feeling your mom may have an inkling since she is bringing a formal gown for formal night which is not a thing on NCL, and the whole dad can't see it yet thing lol.  I hope everything goes beautifully.