What constitutes "bad behavior"?

[josetann]

Another thread got me a bit steamed...so I'm asking this here to see if I really am off base.

 

What exactly constitutes bad behavior for a child? What is, and is not, allowed?

 

Ok, I have a three year old son. I stated that in restaurants we do let him crawl under OUR OWN table, and even be right next to the table. Never out of arm's reach, not any more in the way than a high chair would be (right next to the table means just that, not an arm's length from the edge of the table). Something I didn't mention in the other thread...if there's music playing I might let him dance next to the table, but we're liable to do so too. Oh, and I even have the gall to let him sit at the table next to us, if it's not too busy (i.e., if there are tons of empty tables and no one's waiting for one).

 

I have to reiterate...we haven't done this on a cruise yet. Just talking about normal everyday stuff. The types of restaurants I'm talking about are Denny's, Taco Bell, etc. Nothing high-end.

 

I also stated that when we go out, we don't leave the very second he gets fussy. We'll try for a couple minutes to calm him down before giving up and leaving. Basically if he's fussy we'll break out crayons, let him under the table (our table, not someone else's), switch seats, etc. If that doesn't work, then we get to take turns walking him around until the food comes. And when I'm done eating, if he gets fussy I often get to leave with him and wait in the car while my wife finishes.

 

Due to this I'm rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. I don't think I am. But perhaps I am. Hence the post. I'm curious what others who are currently parents think is acceptable behavior. Should you simply not bother going on a cruise with a three year old? Is it acceptable to take him to a restaurant and try for a couple minutes to get him to sit still before you admit defeat, or should you just never go out? Should a child not be allowed to crawl under a table or sit at a table next to you, assuming he/she isn't physically bothering anyone else?

 

So, what do you let your kids get away with, and what just isn't acceptable? Any gray areas? It's a serious question. I know I'm not always right (far from it). Just curious if I'm way out of line, or if when we get older we just want the kids to be out of sight, out of mind (i.e., a kid just being a kid is bad enough).

[skippyy]

As parents, we have responsibilities to and for our children.Seems like when children are younger, they excell at play. Certainly, this is an im-position for parents and they must manage it. At what point a childs

play becomes an imposition for others is a heated, judgemental debate.

 

Reasonably, we should all have some tolerance and appreciation for young

people. Unfortunately, I am not always reasonable, nor are you. I am much better at raising/criticizing other peoples children than my own:eek:

 

However, we are all good at providing behavioral and verbal clues indicative of whether we approve of anothers conduct or if we find

it annoying or intrusive. Within reason, I suggest you take your child

to appropriate activites, be responsible for that child and at the same

time sensitive to others....in short..take the kid and accept the responsibility....I have seen children misbehave in restaurants and

observed their parents: admonish, remove and spank..as the parents

took what I thought were appropriate actions, I had no qualms with their

attempt to share a meal-out with them...if a parents refuses to act and

expects me to have to put up with the child...I am offended....

 

Don't know if this helps...just the way I look at it without flames:)

[brenderlou]

We have a 5 yr old and she has been on cruises with us since she was 3.

When having dinner in the main dining room, she is to act accordingly as if we were home and going out to a very nice restaurant.

Can she get up and come stand by me to stretch her legs between courses? Yes, of course she can.

Can she dance very close to the table if there is music? Yes she can as long as she is mindful to those around and not bumping into anyone/anything.

Can she sit at a table next to ours? No. She is to sit at our table and not at an empty table next to ours that has a dinner set up on it.

Can she crawl under a table. ABSOLUTELY NOT. She isn't allowed to do that at any resturant or at home during dinner. And honestly, do you REALLY want your child crawling on the floor under table that has who knows what, spilled on it?????

Can she fuss? For a VERY short time. I mean we will tell her to stop a couple of times and if she isn't, it's out the door. We bring small toys/crayons etc to occupy her time if she starts getting figgety.

We are VERY mindful to those around us at dinner and don't want to disrupt others with a fussy child. If this does happen and it doesn't stop, we leave and go to the buffet area for dinner (luckily this has only happened once when she was 3).

Another option that we use now that she is older is the kids club. We will get her dinner early at the buffet area and then take her to the kids club which she loves alot better then sitting 3 hours having dinner. It's a win-win situation. She's having a blast playing and we are having adult time at dinner.

[josetann]

Don't know if this helps...just the way I look at it without flames:)

 

I think that sums it up for me. We do gravitate towards kid-friendly places. Buffets, any buffet at all, is generally kid friendly (you get your food ASAP, no waiting). We'd miss out on some great places if we ONLY went to kiddie places though. Mexican restaurants (sit-down) are one that come to mind. Chips and salsa come out immediately, that keeps him occupied. He loves eating rice and beans, and probably wouldn't have thought to offer that otherwise. Now the ones in Houston TX that have big play areas for them...bravo!

 

Curious what others think. Any examples of what you'll let your kids get away with, and what just isn't allowed? Ages might help, as I'm not sure I'd let a 12 year old crawl under our table.

[josetann]

Can she sit at a table next to ours? No. She is to sit at our table and not at an empty table next to ours that has a dinner set up on it.

 

What if it wasn't busy? And what if we're not talking about a cruise, but a regular restaurant that doesn't have the tables setup (maybe they have some silverware and that's it, which often we need anyways as they don't bring any extra for him)? Sorry about asking a somewhat non-cruise related question...but in the other thread I had said this is what we let him do in land-based restaurants, not sure what we'd do on a cruise...would just have to see. Was still chided for this.

 

Can she crawl under a table. ABSOLUTELY NOT. She isn't allowed to do that at any resturant or at home during dinner. And honestly, do you REALLY want your child crawling on the floor under table that has who knows what, spilled on it?????

 

Ok, you don't allow it, but is it for cleanliness reasons or because it would be too disruptive to those around you? I shudder to think of what my son's put in his mouth, I don't think crawling under a table is going to kill him (we do check to make sure there's no tasty morsels left under there that he might want to try). Again, just curious what your thoughts are behind this. And thanks for responding.

[6rugrats]

Another thread got me a bit steamed...so I'm asking this here to see if I really am off base.

 

What exactly constitutes bad behavior for a child? What is, and is not, allowed?

 

Ok, I have a three year old son. I stated that in restaurants we do let him crawl under OUR OWN table, and even be right next to the table. Never out of arm's reach, not any more in the way than a high chair would be (right next to the table means just that, not an arm's length from the edge of the table). Something I didn't mention in the other thread...if there's music playing I might let him dance next to the table, but we're liable to do so too. Oh, and I even have the gall to let him sit at the table next to us, if it's not too busy (i.e., if there are tons of empty tables and no one's waiting for one).

 

I have to reiterate...we haven't done this on a cruise yet. Just talking about normal everyday stuff. The types of restaurants I'm talking about are Denny's, Taco Bell, etc. Nothing high-end.

 

I also stated that when we go out, we don't leave the very second he gets fussy. We'll try for a couple minutes to calm him down before giving up and leaving. Basically if he's fussy we'll break out crayons, let him under the table (our table, not someone else's), switch seats, etc. If that doesn't work, then we get to take turns walking him around until the food comes. And when I'm done eating, if he gets fussy I often get to leave with him and wait in the car while my wife finishes.

 

Due to this I'm rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. I don't think I am. But perhaps I am. Hence the post. I'm curious what others who are currently parents think is acceptable behavior. Should you simply not bother going on a cruise with a three year old? Is it acceptable to take him to a restaurant and try for a couple minutes to get him to sit still before you admit defeat, or should you just never go out? Should a child not be allowed to crawl under a table or sit at a table next to you, assuming he/she isn't physically bothering anyone else?

 

So, what do you let your kids get away with, and what just isn't acceptable? Any gray areas? It's a serious question. I know I'm not always right (far from it). Just curious if I'm way out of line, or if when we get older we just want the kids to be out of sight, out of mind (i.e., a kid just being a kid is bad enough).

 

 

I don't know anything about your other thread; these are my thoughts on your post quoted above.

 

The problem with allowing this, is then your child thinks it's o.k. to crawl under the table, sit at the table next to you, etc. no matter where you go, and I speak from experience. They just can't differentiate at that age between Taco Bell and a nice restaurant, including the dining room on a cruise. It's better to start them out right. Has nothing to do with germs, etc. It has to do with correct behavior. You've got to start them doing it the right way from the start, or you will have an even bigger battle on your hands.

 

We would take our children out for meals and realize they were only capable of age appropriate behavior. You really cannot expect a hungry child with a short attention span to sit still for a couple of hours. We would always make sure we packed snacks, or fed them first, and we always had a special bag with toys that were just allowed in restaurants. This certainly helped encourage calm behavior. If they started to act up, out the door they went with one parent, while the other either finished their meal or had food packed up to go.

 

It's really hard to do this, because you want to enjoy yourselves, but it just has to be done to teach them. Also, it's so inconsiderate to other diners and dangerous to servers carrying heavy trays to have your child wandering around or making a fuss. Eating out is a treat for many people and they don't deserve to have their time ruined by having to watch/listen to a fussy child.

 

I would really advise you to start back from the beginning. Tell your child there is a new game and explain the rules. Then, you absolutely have to stick to them. Give in one time, and you're right back to the beginning. If they can get through this, they are much more ready to start cruising.

[Snowbuddy]

Can she fuss? For a VERY short time. I mean we will tell her to stop a couple of times and if she isn't, it's out the door. We bring small toys/crayons etc to occupy her time if she starts getting figgety.

 

FYI, he didn't reiterate it on here, but the OP did clarify in the other conversation that they try to calm the child down, and if it doesn't work in a couple of minutes (yes, he stated 1-2 minutes or so), then they take the child out, walk around w/ him, etc., as needed. However, on the other thread, the consensus seemed to be that the child should be removed at the first little peep.

 

 

As for the under the table discussion, I personally do not intend to let my child do so, but that is my personal choice. Do I find it disruptive or insulting if someone else chooses to do so? Only if I am at their table. However, that does not appear to pose a problem, based on what the OP has said (it is only their table, where they are the only ones seated, no one else).

 

I think that, to some extent, kids have to be allowed to be kids. Within reason of course, but if all we do is tell our kids "no", "don't do that", "stop", I think it can cause more problems. I am not one of those that thinks a parent should indulge their child's every whim, allow them to be a free spirit, or anything like that, though. Our DD will be raised to be considerate of others and well-behaved, but I have no intentions of making her act like she is 80 when she is only 18-months-old, either. I think some ppl just have a burr in their paw about kids (esp kids cruising), and some have forgotten what little children are like, what their needs are.

[isk8]

I have a four year old, and I agree with what brenderlou said. One other thing I'd like to mention that is a pet peeve of mine...my son is not allowed to stand on the bench in the booth or on the chair while we're at a restaurant.

[josetann]

I don't know anything about your other thread; these are my thoughts on your post quoted above.

 

The problem with allowing this, is then your child thinks it's o.k. to crawl under the table, sit at the table next to you, etc. no matter where you go, and I speak from experience. They just can't differentiate at that age between Taco Bell and a nice restaurant, including the dining room on a cruise. It's better to start them out right. Has nothing to do with germs, etc. It has to do with correct behavior. You've got to start them doing it the right way from the start, or you will have an even bigger battle on your hands.

 

We would take our children out for meals and realize they were only capable of age appropriate behavior. You really cannot expect a hungry child with a short attention span to sit still for a couple of hours. We would always make sure we packed snacks, or fed them first, and we always had a special bag with toys that were just allowed in restaurants. This certainly helped encourage calm behavior. If they started to act up, out the door they went with one parent, while the other either finished their meal or had food packed up to go.

 

It's really hard to do this, because you want to enjoy yourselves, but it just has to be done to teach them. Also, it's so inconsiderate to other diners and dangerous to servers carrying heavy trays to have your child wandering around or making a fuss. Eating out is a treat for many people and they don't deserve to have their time ruined by having to watch/listen to a fussy child.

 

I would really advise you to start back from the beginning. Tell your child there is a new game and explain the rules. Then, you absolutely have to stick to them. Give in one time, and you're right back to the beginning. If they can get through this, they are much more ready to start cruising.

 

I disagree with a small part of that. I think that it's ok to expect less of a child at a younger age. Should you expect a one year old to only be able to eat using a spoon and fork? Or do you let him/her use their hands? We're still at the early stages granted, but so far I can attest that we are able to introduce more grown-up manners/behaviors at different ages. I.e. he rarely eats with his hand at the table (except for chips, pizza, etc.). There's the occasional lapse (I have a picture of his face in his ice cream bowl), but nothing like when he was 1. I imagine by age 5 he'll be able to act even more grown-up. Maybe being under the table won't be allowed unless he's trying to get out and we're too lazy to move (I remember doing this when I was a wee lad). Don't think we'd keep him from sitting at a different table as long as it wasn't inappropriate. My opinion might change later though.

 

BTW the rest I'm right there with you. If he gets too fussy, we'll take turns walking him around or one of us will get to sit in the car with him while the other finishes. I hadn't thought about having a set of toys that he can only play with at restaurants...I'll have to try that. Thanks.

[brenderlou]

What if it wasn't busy? And what if we're not talking about a cruise, but a regular restaurant that doesn't have the tables setup (maybe they have some silverware and that's it, which often we need anyways as they don't bring any extra for him)? Sorry about asking a somewhat non-cruise related question...but in the other thread I had said this is what we let him do in land-based restaurants, not sure what we'd do on a cruise...would just have to see. Was still chided for this.

 

 

 

Ok, you don't allow it, but is it for cleanliness reasons or because it would be too disruptive to those around you? I shudder to think of what my son's put in his mouth, I don't think crawling under a table is going to kill him (we do check to make sure there's no tasty morsels left under there that he might want to try). Again, just curious what your thoughts are behind this. And thanks for responding.

 

Personally I just don't think it's appropriate to have a child under a table while eating dinner. I don't like to see this while I'm out but that's because I don't allow our daughter to do that.

I want my child to have good table manners. Part of this is being able to sit at a table while eating. When we are home and she is done before we are, she asks to be excused from the table and all is well.

If we are out she knows she needs to be patient and be well behaved at the table, not under it. We too always go to kid friendly places that don't take a long time so we really never have issues with her acting up plus she loves eating out (just like her mother).

[josetann]

I think that, to some extent, kids have to be allowed to be kids. Within reason of course, but if all we do is tell our kids "no", "don't do that", "stop", I think it can cause more problems. I am not one of those that thinks a parent should indulge their child's every whim, allow them to be a free spirit, or anything like that, though. Our DD will be raised to be considerate of others and well-behaved, but I have no intentions of making her act like she is 80 when she is only 18-months-old, either. I think some ppl just have a burr in their paw about kids (esp kids cruising), and some have forgotten what little children are like, what their needs are.

 

Thanks. This sums up my feelings exactly. If you don't want to be around a 3 year old who's behaving well for a 3 year old, then don't go places where 3 year olds are allowed to be. Not that long ago we considered going to a new restaurant. Looked like it might be a bit too fancy. Asked if there was a kids' menu. There wasn't. We didn't go. On the other hand if they break out the crayons and coloring book, then I will assume kids are allowed, and won't feel bad for going there at least once to see how it goes.

 

As I stated in the other thread, we haven't been to the movies in a loooooong time. We just know that won't work out. We might actually try tonight, as there's a restaurant here that has a theater in it, and they're playing Up this afternoon. We'd go for the food, and not be too disappointed if we couldn't stay for the whole movie. Here's hoping it works out.

 

I cringe when I see kids being whipped for what appears to be nothing at all. So they're running around like crazy bumping into other kids...they're in a kids' play area! I don't say anything, because there may be a valid reason (sometimes my son is disciplined not so much for what he did, but for refusing to stop when I said stop).

[beckyjohns]

We have twin boys who are almost 2 1/2. To some extent, yes, you have to understand that kids are kids and they do not have the same patience/behavior as adults. That said, we have always followed the same rules with our kids at the dinner table, whether it's at home, in a casual restaurant, in a fancy restaurant, or on a cruise. They sit in their seats and that's that. No crawling under the table, no walking around. On a cruise you often see the waiters dancing; our kids love to dance and if they want to dance, we ALL get up and stay very close to the table. When the music is done, we all sit down again in our chairs. If the kids get fussy, we do try to appease them, whether that is with toys, food, calming them down, etc. If they persist beyond 2 minutes, out we go. We sit outside (while everybody else continues their meal) and calm down. Once they're calm, we go back to the table. So, no, we don't remove the kids at the very instant a fuss is made. We make an effort to calm them down, but for no more than 2 minutes before they're removed. Like somebody else said, kids don't distinguish between a nice restaurant and a non-nice restaurant. For that reason, we've always had the same rules at any table, home or out. There is no confusion for them.

[josetann]

Personally I just don't think it's appropriate to have a child under a table while eating dinner. I don't like to see this while I'm out but that's because I don't allow our daughter to do that.

 

This is a good point. It's hard to tell our son he can't do something when others all around him are doing it. This is a possible way that we could be directly disturbing someone else. Not sure we'll ban this behavior, but we'll be more aware of it if there's a family with small kids at a nearby table. I simply had not thought of this before.

[Snowbuddy]

This is a good point. It's hard to tell our son he can't do something when others all around him are doing it. This is a possible way that we could be directly disturbing someone else. Not sure we'll ban this behavior, but we'll be more aware of it if there's a family with small kids at a nearby table. I simply had not thought of this before.

 

That had been my main concern about that, which is trying to teach my DD not to do something while another child is doing the same thing at a nearby table. However, that being said, I also realize that it is my responsibility to parent my child, and it is not my responsibility to tell you how to parent yours just so that I won't have to deal with any "issues". (does that make sense?)

 

GL w/ the dinner & movie!

[njmomof2]

I think that I agree that manners for eating out must be taught at an early age. I have been taking my boys out to restaurants since they were babies (and I'm not kidding about that...my younger one was born on a Thursday night, we came home from the hospital on Saturday, were out eating breakfast at our favorite haunt Sunday morning!).

 

That said, there were a couple of years that we could not go out to eat with our older son. He simply could not handle it. Now, I am a big believer in not setting your kids up to fail. By this, I mean going to a restaurant generally not considered "kid friendly" at an hour long past when the average small person would be at their best (late dining hour). You know this when you see it...family comes in to eat at 8 PM or so, smaller kid in the group, fusses, gets loud, up and down from the chair, tosses stuff on the floor, won't eat, general uncooperative behavior. Now, is this really the kid's fault? Generally, no. It's the parents, for setting that poor child up for failure. I'm sorry, but I'm kind of tired at 8 PM and almost always really hungry if I haven't eaten yet. Why do that to a kid?

 

I did not let my kids under the table. I just don't find that necessary or appropriate. Did I let them stand up next to me, yes. Did I let them sit at another nearby table, no. Did I let them dance near me...only if I had my hand on them so they never moved from my grasp (too many people moving and waiters with trays of hot, heavy food nearby).

 

And if they got fussy (and could not be calmed down in a short amount of time quietly) one of us left the restaurant while the other finished, then we swapped. I think that this is one of those things that we as parents have to accept...that depending on our child, we might have to forgo decent restaurants for a while (at least with the kids).

 

My boys are now 11.5 and 7. And they know what is expected in a nice restaurant. They have cruised twice and we go to Disney every year, eating at many of their "deluxe" restaurants and both know how to sit, order, eat and behave in such an atmosphere. I attribute this not to my excellent parenting (LOL!) but to being consistent early on with my expectations of their behavior. I think that there are certain things we can expect at each age and I think it's important for us as parents to know where we can take our kids at each of those stages of development. But I also think that there are basic rules that need to be in place early on to help them learn proper behavior.

 

I hope that you find whatever works for you.

[josetann]

That had been my main concern about that, which is trying to teach my DD not to do something while another child is doing the same thing at a nearby table. However, that being said, I also realize that it is my responsibility to parent my child, and it is not my responsibility to tell you how to parent yours just so that I won't have to deal with any "issues". (does that make sense?)

 

GL w/ the dinner & movie!

 

I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect, and am more than glad to hear constructive criticism. This is a perfect example. Like I said, I may or may not change what we do, but I like knowing multiple views. Heck, I'm still trying to understand some of the feelings from people in the other thread, as I hope to be part of the older generation one day. Maybe it'll help me from being a grumpy one :)

 

Now that I think about it, perhaps UP is the perfect movie to watch after participating in the other thread. We have another five hours before it starts, it'll probably be tomorrow before we can report back on how it went.

[cb at sea]

I'm quite sure that there will be so much going on in the dining room, that even a short-attention span will be filled for a longer period than normal! The waiters are GREAT with kids, and help to keep them entertained off and on throughout the meal.

I think you're anticipating problems that you won't have!

[josetann]

I think that there are certain things we can expect at each age and I think it's important for us as parents to know where we can take our kids at each of those stages of development. But I also think that there are basic rules that need to be in place early on to help them learn proper behavior.

 

I hope that you find whatever works for you.

 

Thanks. I think we have the same basic goal in mind, and a slightly different idea as to the best path. Glad you shared your thoughts.

[josetann]

I'm quite sure that there will be so much going on in the dining room, that even a short-attention span will be filled for a longer period than normal! The waiters are GREAT with kids, and help to keep them entertained off and on throughout the meal.

I think you're anticipating problems that you won't have!

 

Well, it all started with...a comment made about children in general. It got me upset, and I guess I tried to qualify my statement with stating what was the worst behavior our child was allowed to get away with. He started his terrible twos around the time he turned three, so didn't have anything to really go by as far as being on a cruise was concerned. Well, we did walk him around some last year on our Alaska cruise, but he wasn't too fussy otherwise. You'd think my kids were pushing the elderly overboard with the responses I got.

 

Eh, I've calmed down some though...still upset about the one comment...but I'll get over it. We'll continue doing what we do, i.e. go to have a fun time, let kids be kids, but only as long as it's not too disruptive to others. Some people are bothered just by seeing a kid near them...not going to try to please them.

 

Oh, almost forgot to say, I definitely agree about some of the waiters. The most kid-friendly ones I'd have to say were on the Celebrity Zenith (which I think only had one family with kids onboard). I saw different people over there talking with the kids, the waiters would sometimes perform magic tricks for all the tables, etc. The Disney cruise, not so much...I think maybe we just got a dud. Not a big deal for us, son was only 3mos old, but there was another kid seated with us. Here's to hoping we luck out in November!

[josetann]

That had been my main concern about that, which is trying to teach my DD not to do something while another child is doing the same thing at a nearby table. However, that being said, I also realize that it is my responsibility to parent my child, and it is not my responsibility to tell you how to parent yours just so that I won't have to deal with any "issues". (does that make sense?)

 

GL w/ the dinner & movie!

 

Makes perfect sense. There's many things he's not allowed to do that he sees others doing. And I agree it can be hard.

[lovesublime]

I don't think any restaurant should be considered a kids play area-unless it's a McD with a play area. Crawling under the table and sitting at neighboring tables should be nipped right now. When I see this kind of behavior, I think wild animal. It's not good behavior for any age. I agree that kids are gonna be kids and some can sit still for longer than others, but that is where discipline and parental guidance come in.

 

I didn't see the other post you mentioned so I don't know what is specifically bothering you. Your child sounds normal and I don't see why you can't cruise and do other things with him. And I have to agree with snowbuddy-it's not my place to tell you how to raise your kid.

[CowPrincess]

It appears the OP has seized and repeated the words that appear to support or encourage his position, while completely ignoring anyone who feels that the child under a table, child beside a table, child at a nearby table is not appropriate. Pretty much a waste of bandwidth, and pretty much a waste of the time of anyone who tried to educate the OP regarding what many others consider appropriate behaviour. In both this thread and the other thread where it was suggested that the OP come to this forum and get others' opinions.

 

I'm sure the OP and his family will have many happy self-absorbed cruises, oblivious to the impact they and their children are having on others. Certainly that appears to be what will happen based on his replies both here and in the other thread. I can only hope that the children's behavior causes no one else any harm.

[josetann]

I didn't see the other post you mentioned so I don't know what is specifically bothering you. Your child sounds normal and I don't see why you can't cruise and do other things with him. And I have to agree with snowbuddy-it's not my place to tell you how to raise your kid.

 

I was going to PM you the other post, but can't figure out how to do it on this board. Does one have to be "friends" before private messages can be sent?

[CanadianTwosome]

:p

Makes perfect sense. There's many things he's not allowed to do that he sees others doing. And I agree it can be hard.

 

Yes, that makes perfect sense to me as well. As far as I'm concerned, unless an individual (child or adult) is engaging in behaviour that I can't ignore (this usually entails being loud, throwing things, or that type of thing), I don't care. If I do happen to notice them doing something that is against the rules for our daughter, I point it out and make a lesson out of it. I would say the thing I see the most is open-mouthed chewing, which is EASY to make a lesson out of because all I have to do is point out the person and say, 'See? You don't want other people to look over at you and see THAT, do you?' *ick* :p

 

For the record, we used to let our daughter dance next to our table as well. Every single time we would discuss the parameters first and make a big deal out of looking for servers and finding the 'safest' corner of the table to dance in, and then we (the adults) would keep our eyes peeled for anyone heading in the direction of the 'dance floor'. We didn't let her play under the table, but we did let her crawl out on occasion. I'm just too grossed out by what might be under the table. *shudder*

 

The one thing I do think shouldn't be done (and this is just my opinion) is to let your child sit at another table. Whether it's set or not, it needs to be wiped between uses for health reasons, and allowing your child to sit at it means that one of two things will result - either a staff member has to wipe (and/or reset) an otherwise unused table, or none of the staff notice and someone comes and sits to eat their meal at a table that has 'kid germs' on it - and if said kid has been playing under a table, even worse. Again, *ick*.

 

Really, in my opinion, as I said above, if a child (or adult) is not doing something that actually disturbs me, I couldn't care less how their parents choose to keep them busy during dinner. I am extremely fortunate to have a very laid back, even tempered child. She's been going to restaurants from McDonald's up to fine dining since she was a baby. We went to one restaurant when she was about four that wasn't our choice and didn't have a kid's menu. We simply sat her on a jacket and ordered her an appetizer, and she was much more well behaved than some of the adults that we could hear from elsewhere in the restaurant. Aside from the dancing, we never had to deal with the vast majority of things that I've seen parents mention on the boards. In her entire childhood, she's had ONE temper tantrum, and that was at a friend's home, so I didn't even have to deal with it in public! I've always been prepared for the 'carry-out', but I've never had to act on it. (for which I am eternally grateful)

 

There are sadly some people who just see a child and get a foul look on their face, glare at you, roll their eyes, or even make rude remarks. As far as I'm concerned, it's their problem, and I generally enjoy smiling as sweetly as I can back at them... (and I have to admit I'm usually hoping to see them get even more upset at my unmitigated gall!! :p)

[crusinmama06]

I was going to PM you the other post, but can't figure out how to do it on this board. Does one have to be "friends" before private messages can be sent?

 

You can't PM on cruise critic. :( So that's why you can't find the option.

 

To answer your original question (and believe me, I have been involved in some pretty heated battles over kids being kids) no, I don't allow my children to do that. Ever. And the reason is, I just think it isn't the right behavior for a dining room (at any restaurant besides chuckee cheese). I don't know, call me a germaphobe, to me its just icky to see a child crawing on a dirty floor. ;)

 

Sitting at the next table. No, not usually. If we were at Mickey D's, then yes, maybe. But anything above Mickeys, no way.

 

Dancing during the music times...my kids are usually taken by the waiters to go dance with them. So in that case, yes, of course, they go dance. Just to pass the time, nope, not going to happen.

 

I do ALOT of redirection with my youngest to keep her attention. When she gets antsy, I fold a piece of paper and make a paper animal that we color together. Or something like that. :)