Missing school, your thoughts

[chipmaster]

Actually my parents weren't that engaged or involved, they were too busy working hard putting me thru school and making the sacrifices. What I learned most was values and not compromsing and making sacrifices for them.

 

It's too slippery a slope to get into doing something or not because the outcome may or may not materially change. Its about values and teaching your children to stand by that. Look at the arguments here, all about doing something by explanining how it is "okay" why do you have to "explain?"

 

For some its vacation time togather above other things. I'm okay with that for you, but it wouldn't be for me nor what I am willing to compromises on.

 

I have to ask those that are against. Did you do well because your parents were involved in your education and not so much whether they pulled you out of school for an activity?

 

I believe that children's success in school has more to do with the parent's involvement than the school or being in school for that matter (not condoning mass absences;)). I was fortunate enough to attend a private high school and there were plenty of kids there not learning and usually those were the same that had absent parents, whether they worked all the time or other issues.

 

Parental involvement gets ignored because your cannot question parents ever. My brother works in the schools and he hears all the time parents complaining to the teacher "Why did you fail my child?"; like it is the teacher's fault the child did not do the work. Hysterical.

 

Again it all comes down to what you think is right.

[chrisc71]

Look at the arguments here, all about doing something by explanining how it is "okay" why do you have to "explain?"

 

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It has to be explained because some people only view life through their narrow lens. Life is not a one size fits all way for things to work. I guess all those against taking a child out are against home schooling since you are not in a school building like everyone else?

[jac1976]

In my opinion (both as a mother and a teacher), it is not okay to pull a child out of school for a vacation unless it is a one time only, highly educational experience that can not be recheduled. Getting work together ahead of time is more work for the teacher, as is helping the child get caught up with any new material upon his/her return. A student can easily get flustered if they don't know the material, and can also feel the weight of catching up.

[blitznbobs]

As a doctor who spends a lot of time with patients (and parents) who are dying - not once have i ever heard anyone say ' I regret not sending my kids to school more often' - the most common regret is not spending enough time with their family. Education is very important but nowhere near as important as a truly quality memory of family time... Each to their own but I know which side of the argument I come down on.

[6rugrats]

It has to be explained because some people only view life through their narrow lens. Life is not a one size fits all way for things to work. I guess all those against taking a child out are against home schooling since you are not in a school building like everyone else?

 

I believe chipmaster is asking if you are doing what you think is right, why do you feel the need to explain your choices to strangers?

 

And you really don't have to explain it to others; they aren't paying attention anyway. Your analogy about homeschooling is just not applicable here, and actually is not a conclusion a logical person would reach.

[junglejane]

How much time out of school are we talking about? I would never take my kids out of school for a week for a vacation, but we do occasionally take them out for a day or two. For example, in past years we have gone on Spring Break cruises that leave on a Saturday. On those occasions, we took them out of school on Thursday or Friday so that we could drive or fly to the embarkation port.

 

Our oldest DD is now starting her freshman year in high school. Now she will have end of quarter exams just before the breaks. We have a land trip to Paris planned for our next Spring Break. I didn't want to risk a conflict with the exams, so we're going to fly out on Saturday but she will miss the first two days of the 4th quarter after Spring Break.

 

So for me the answer depends on how much time is being lost from school, and how good a student your child is. Will the teacher be flexible? Does your kid have a friend in class who can collect any notes or handouts? Is your child good at time management so he or she can work around the absence?

[chrisc71]

I believe chipmaster is asking if you are doing what you think is right, why do you feel the need to explain your choices to strangers?

 

And you really don't have to explain it to others; they aren't paying attention anyway. Your analogy about homeschooling is just not applicable here, and actually is not a conclusion a logical person would reach.

 

Isn't the point of this forum to exchange ideas and get input from others? I do not believe they are looking for approval as much as seeing if others feel as they do. This is an issue that is personal and does not have a right or wrong answer.

 

As far as the home schooling analogy; it was meant to point out the false logic of people saying children need to be IN school; my point is that the work gets done not so much the where. A lot of the people who do not support taking children out of school are writing that children should be in school versus focusing on the work getting done.

 

Either way this is an interesting debate.

[Onessa]

I believe chipmaster is asking if you are doing what you think is right, why do you feel the need to explain your choices to strangers? . . . .

 

I don't know if the OP was looking for an affirmation of his/her choice.

 

As to why to post such a question -- OP got a lot of good advice. Such as:

1. Check with your school district before you book for the district's (state's) regulations for planned absences.
   
2. Let your child's school and teachers know well in advance that your child will be out of school
   
3. All children are different, so taking your kid out of school may or may not "work" for that child. Be honest with yourself to decide whether your child will be able to handle an absence
   
4. Make certain your child knows the expectaions -- when make-up work is due, etc.
   

One other piece of advice -- since your child's teacher is doing some extra work to help you out if you do pull your kid out of school -- be certain to thank the teacher! We do a written TU and usually a small gift for his/her classroom (if something from the trip makes sense that's fine, otherwise a gift certificate to Office Depot or the local school store).

[Kra]

I have not read each post but from skimming I can see the opinion is mostly educational as to whether it is okay to take a child out of school for a family vacation. Education is not the only reason I disagree with this type of school absence. Let us deal with equality and team spirit.

 

Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes.

 

A class is also a team. It is in this pod of education a child first learns the meaning of team and school pride. This is a lesson we hope is kept throughout life. As adults our cooperation as a member of team is always present whether it is on a committee, aerobics class, and especially at a job. This spirit of cooperation is learned in school. It is not taught, it is lived. A family member or a teacher does not teach this value, the children learn it from one another. They learn responsibility. Where would our wonderful cruises be if the crew did not work as a team?

 

I do not mean to offend parents who feel they have every right to take a child out of school, which is their option. I just hope to educate those who are wavering in their decision. A world of peace and harmony begins in childhood with equality and team spirit at home, school, and play.

[blitznbobs]

But to be a good member of a team you have to know the value of I. Like it or not people are not born equal and to work well in a team you have to learn to accept that fact too... If everyone was perceived as equal teams would not work.

[6rugrats]

Let us deal with equality and team spirit.

 

Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes.

 

A world of peace and harmony begins in childhood with equality and team spirit at home, school, and play.

 

Welcome to the real world. Nothing is or will ever be "equal". If a child comes to school wearing new boots, and another child's parents cannot afford that brand, will they also feel less valued? Are you talking about a situation in your own life, or a hypothetical child?

 

Why not turn this around the other way? If you see something you want, you may be motivated to work hard to get it.

 

If the world was peaceful and all lived in harmony, overpopulation would be even worse than it is now.

 

Namaste

[lddam]

Except the issue here is cost. If it is not viable when they are not in school that does not fit the definition of convenient. And I know the next response is usually "tough then do not go"; is hardly the realistic answer.

 

No, it's not "tough then do not go," but rather "sorry, we can't afford to go on a cruise this year." Is it so unreasonable to consider placing the money aside, saving it to combine with next years' discretionary funds and go when you can afford it at a time that will not interfere with the formal academic year? Granted, it's not instant gratification which, for many, seems to be at the heart of this issue and one which no one appears willing to address. But, a lesson to be learned by deferring the vacation is that "good things are worth waiting for."

 

Isn't the greater obligation that the child actually do the school work and pass? Just being in the school building is not the only part of the obligation.

 

I do not see anyone who supports the idea saying the child does not have to do any work while away; quite the contrary. All seem to write that if the child does not miss work and is getting good grades where is the harm? At the end of the day the obligation of getting the work done is accomplished; the where is sort of secondary.

 

The assumption with this argument of getting the work done is that the preponderance of classroom learning takes place via paper & pencil, and/or reading a book. How can a child who is absent benefit from classroom discussions which augment the curriculum? How can a child who is absent from the classroom experience the learning process if the classroom teacher utilizes the Socratic method of learning, for example? Or, if the teacher utilizes the discovery approach? Or if the teacher organizes the classroom to optimize team learning? No amount of make-up work is going to duplicate those aspects of a formal educational program. When considered in this light, the "where" is not sort of secondary, but takes on much greater significance.

 

Education is more than simply "what" is being taught. It is also about "how" it is being taught and the "manner" in which it is being learned.

[junglejane]

Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes.

 

If you follow that logic, kids should never be asked or allowed to talk about "What I did on my summer vacation" because they might may another kid feel "less valued."

[lddam]

I too am happy that this poster is no longer subjecting our children to such mean-spirited attitudes.

 

Onessa, I have read many of your posts, and although I may not necessarily agree with your opinions, I have always respected them as being well thought-out, reasonable and free of pejorative terms. However, in the above instance, I must take exception. Education in my former district was, and still is, viewed as a cooperative effort requiring commitment equally by students, parents and teachers. Please explain to me how setting high standards, ensuring that all parties understand those standards, and then holding all accountable to those standards is "mean-spirited."

 

Although I do not feel it necessary to validate myself to you, I want to note that, at the beginning of the school year, I gave any parent/student unwilling to accept these standards the opportunity to opt out of my classroom without prejudice. In 35 years of teaching, I did not have a single student or parent exercise that option...not one.

 

Your above comment is demeaning, offensive, and beneath you.

[youngestof9]

As a doctor who spends a lot of time with patients (and parents) who are dying - not once have i ever heard anyone say ' I regret not sending my kids to school more often' - the most common regret is not spending enough time with their family. Education is very important but nowhere near as important as a truly quality memory of family time... Each to their own but I know which side of the argument I come down on.

 

Amen. When I booked my family cruise for January of this past year, I did it 2 days after my 36 year old friend, mother of 2 young boys, died of pulmonary hypertension after a double lung transplant.

 

It was then I decided that life is way too short to keep saying "we should take our kids on a cruise". My daughter was in 6th grade. She took a bit to get caught up when she got back, but not for one instance did I regret taking her out. Why? Because every day of that cruise I thought about my friend and how she sure as hell would have wanted to be there with her boys.

 

I wouldn't do it more than once in a school year and I wouldn't do it if my child were struggling with the work beyond repair, but the memories that my children have from that week on a cruise ship and to places they've never been far outweigh what they would have learned that week.

 

When my daughter was in 2nd grade we went to WDW along with her 1 year old sister. She can still tell you things we did that week and what was fun, always telling my little one about all the fun things she watched her do for the first time. I couldn't tell you, nor could she, what she missed that week. But she's still (almost 5 years later) reminding me of stuff we saw and did.

[ILUVCRUIZN]

"Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes."

 

REALLY, I think this is the most absurd post that I read. Now we as parents have to take into account all the other classmates social and economic standing. I am not going to punish myself or my child by not taking him on a family vacation. My husband and I work very hard all year long to take our son on vacation, now if that offends someone in his class I am sorry about that but not my concern.

 

Some due to work schedules cannot take time off during off school times. My husband works outdoors and is swamped from early spring to late fall and it is impossible to take time off so we take our family vacation during the late fall early winter months. I do not like that it interferes with school but it does and we make the best of it. It is just a personal decision each and every person has to make. I do not think there is a right or wrong answer. Traveling is a great experience for children and I do feel that they learn a lot from it . :D

[98Charlie]

I have not read each post but from skimming I can see the opinion is mostly educational as to whether it is okay to take a child out of school for a family vacation. Education is not the only reason I disagree with this type of school absence. Let us deal with equality and team spirit.

 

Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes.

 

A class is also a team. It is in this pod of education a child first learns the meaning of team and school pride. This is a lesson we hope is kept throughout life. As adults our cooperation as a member of team is always present whether it is on a committee, aerobics class, and especially at a job. This spirit of cooperation is learned in school. It is not taught, it is lived. A family member or a teacher does not teach this value, the children learn it from one another. They learn responsibility. Where would our wonderful cruises be if the crew did not work as a team?

 

I do not mean to offend parents who feel they have every right to take a child out of school, which is their option. I just hope to educate those who are wavering in their decision. A world of peace and harmony begins in childhood with equality and team spirit at home, school, and play.

 

While I can appreciate your opinion and see where you are coming from on this matter I have to say I do not agree with where you are coming from on this subject.

 

``Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already have already labeled their child as priviledged.''

 

In the eyes of the other children in the class or in the eyes of the other children's parents?

 

Priviledged is a big word and one that doesn't normally spew out of the mouths of children unless they have learned from those older about it's meaning.

 

Have raised 3 children and am now helping to raise 8 grandchildren and never, ever, have I heard any one of these children use the word ``priviledged'' when talking about a classmate at school -- not about vacation time, about pulling kids out of school for vacation or about what educational status their classmates have in their school.

 

Only time I've heard the word ``priviledged'' associated with classmates in classrooms has been from grownups -- parents, teachers and grandparents.

 

In the world you describe as equality for all, kids could work as teams but there could never be a team captain, never be a valedictorian or class president. Not if they're all to be considered equal. That would designate those scholars and atheletes as ``priviledged'' because they got something the other classmates didn't achieve.

 

Dianne

[MichelleChell]

I'm taking my daughter out of school in March for a cruise. Dows that make me a bad parent? Heck no! They are only young for so long. I want that family time! Her school has so many un-excused absences thing but things like this are up to that school. My child is an honor student in the 3rd grade and in a program for kids ahead of the regular classes. I think she will be just fine.

[Essiesmom]

Since when does one have to go away on vacation to have quality experiences with their children? EM

[chrisc71]

Since when does one have to go away on vacation to have quality experiences with their children? EM

 

Looking at it the other way since when does a child only learn in school?

[Regguy]

Deleted.

 

Enjoying the discussion, but decided it really isn't one I need to weigh in on.

[6rugrats]

Since when does one have to go away on vacation to have quality experiences with their children? EM

 

Looking at it the other way since when does a child only learn in school?

chrisc71- your example is not looking at it the other way. Essiesmom didn't say anything remotely close to "children learn only in school".

[lovesublime]

I'm taking my daughter out of school in March for a cruise. Dows that make me a bad parent? Heck no! They are only young for so long. I want that family time! Her school has so many un-excused absences thing but things like this are up to that school. My child is an honor student in the 3rd grade and in a program for kids ahead of the regular classes. I think she will be just fine.

 

 

 

 

If you're going in March, then it must be during spring break. I'm surprised you would take your child out of school for a week here in this state. You know how they are about the mandatory attendance. Her absences will be unexcused.

[bus man]

Not every child in a class has the opportunity to “skip” school. Every child has the right to an education. Parents taking a child out of school for vacation have already labeled their child as privileged. Johnny knows he will never be able to go on a vacation because his parent or parents do not have the means to sail to the Caribbean in September. As smart as he is, he becomes a little less valued in his own eyes.

 

Granting the premise of your statement, I see two potential outcomes as far as little Johnny is concerned.

 

(1) he becomes resentful towards his more-privileged classmates, and angry at his parents because of their inability to afford cruise vacations. He grows up to be an angry, sullen man with a chip on his shoulder.

 

My response: tough. I am not responsible for his attitudes, and I will not shortchange my own family out of concern for his tender feelings. The real world won't always bow to his whims, and the sooner he learns that, the better off he'll be.

 

(2) he becomes motivated to work hard in school and learn all he can, so that he can be successful in life and be able to afford the fine things that were denied him as a child. Along the way, he will probably become aware of the many ways his parents did all they could for him, even though they couldn't afford a lot of material things. He grows up to be a talented, hard-working man, grateful for what he has and -- remembering how it was when he was young -- willing to share with those less fortunate than himself.

 

My response: I'm happy for his success, and I'm glad to see another productive member of society added to our ranks. I'm sure I'll enjoy seeing him on my cruise, wide-eyed with joy and wonder as he's finally able to afford taking that trip he's long dreamed of.

[chrisc71]

chrisc71- your example is not looking at it the other way. Essiesmom didn't say anything remotely close to "children learn only in school".

 

 

It is the spirit of what was written. It appears to me that this debate's two sides are school should be the priority and cannot be missed versus quality time with the family and that you can keep up with the work and even augment it with travel.

 

So when someone writes about getting quality anytime I choose to look at it from the other side of the debate, that you can keep up with school work and not be at a loss. And say "since when do you only need to be in school to learn?"