Recovering cancer patient wearing hat in MDR?

[Starry Eyes]

Just a note about wearing a head covering in general -- A friend undergoing chemo wore a headscarf at check in for a cruise. She was told that she had to remove her headscarf when she had her picture taken at security. She was extremely upset because her picture showed her as bald and she was concerned that if she wore her wig off the ship, she'd have a problem when she tried to reboard. Plus, her baldness was an issue with her and she was so upset because all of her friends boarding the ship with her, saw her bald for the first time. Her husband talked with security afterwards about how the whole issue was handled but they were adamant that she would have to remove her headscarf for her security photo. Naturally, everyone handles the effects of chemo differently and the OPs friend may not have a problem removing his hat for his photo but he should be prepared that he may have to do so.

 

That is an uncomfortable story. Having read it, were I traveling with somebody alternating between wig and scarf/hat, I might suggest the wig for embarkation day, so the security photo would perhaps be less uncomfortable. Once on board, visits with the MadreD (so dining room entry would be smooth) and with head of security or higher (so rebounding would be smooth) might be worth the time invested.

 

My DH has regularly been asked to remove his baseball cap when reboarding the ship in port. I would hope with advance notice an exception would be made for a non-obscuring headscarf/hat or that privacy would be provided.

[pxy cda]

What an interesting thread.

 

I love bald heads - very sexy!

 

That said, i understand if your friend is uncomfortable.

 

He should consider that hat wearing is not for the faint of heart as it will draw more attention than a bare head and an explanation may have to ensue, whereby embracing the baldness may be an easier route - just my opinion.;).

 

If he is leaning towards the hat route, I suggest he commit 100% and coordinate his wardrobe with a variety of hats

• A neutral or white straw pork pie with coordinating casual cotton attire for smart casual nights - the pork pie has a shorter brim so it is a bit less obtrusive at the table
  
• A sleek black bowler (again smaller brim) for formal night - or he could go scottish - a tartan vest or bowtie (or brave the full kilt) with a tam
  
• A neutral beret or lightweight cotton cap with tropical shirt for daytime meals
  
• a straw fedora (bigger brim for shade) for outside in the sun
  

Whatever he decides dont miss out on the MDR or other restaurants - people are curious but understanding. One will often discover all that worry is internal and others really are supportive and welcoming if given the opportunity.

 

i hope you both have a fabulous cruise

[Cruise Arizona]

A few years ago on the fashion board their was a lady who had advanced cancer who was taking chemo to give her a chance at a few more years. She was trying to figure out what to do and asked if a bald head would be offensive. The ladies ( and a few men) on that board were very supportive and suggested that a wig, a scarf, or a hat or whatever she felt most comfortable with would be appropriate. She ended going wig shopping with her daughter and found one that she really liked and with which she felt comfortable. I think she did scarfs and hats during the day. Anyway on formal night she and her husband had one formal picture taken with her wig, and then another one with both of them showing off their bald heads. She had a tremendous spirit and we all miss her on the fashion board, but boy did she make the most of that pricious extra time.

 

 

And many many many years ago when I used to moonlight as a Karaoke DJ, there was a man with terminal cancer who couldn't sing at all, but he would dress up in a full Elvis costume and come to our karaoke nights to sing Elvis songs. He loved wearing the Elvis wig.

 

So I think my thoughts here are that what every helps you friend feel most comfortable is appropriate. I hope the two of you have a fabulous cruise.

[Essiesmom]

We had a woman in our chorus who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her close friends held a 'shower' for her, giving her all sorts of head coverings. She usually wore a scarf under a baseball cap, but she also had a hot pink wig she wore every Tuesday...She had to leave us to care for her elderly mother, but I understand she is doing well. EM

[constantcruiser]

And if your friend is looking for female attention, there's nothing that will make a Southern lady "swoon" more than a charming gentleman tipping his hat to her! A touch of the brim and a slight nod is all it takes...

[CruisinNole]

CruisinNole,

 

I can't recall seeing turbaned men onboard but I remember seeing a veiled Muslim woman who was taken to a screened area at the side by a female security guard so the woman could let the guard see her face in a private setting. I wasn't there when the Muslim woman had her Sea Pass photo taken so I have no idea how that was handled.

 

Interesting that you mentioned this because at dinner the first night of the cruise after my friend's issue with security, there was a father and two sons seated at the table next to us. The father wore a turban and the sons had on a different head covering, probably appropriate for their age. My friend's husband remarked to security the next day at his appointment to discuss the issue, that he doubted that the father and sons had to remove the headcoverings (and rightly so) but wondered if an exception could have been made for his wife. The answer was a resounding "no". This happened 5 years ago and my friend has since passed away but I will never forget how upset she was and how uncomfortable she felt each time she left the ship at a port. In fact, towards the end of the cruise, she chose to stay on board rather than have to go through the security screening. Hopefully, times have changed and security has become a little more sensitive to situations like this.

[journeymore]

we are cruising to bermuda with a good friend who is in treatment for cancer. Because of chemo, hair is gone. Should we take select dining, because he wants to wear a hat (uncomfortable without it) or should we avoid the dining rooms @ dinner and go to buffet?? Do any of you have a recommendation for a hat ? Fedora???? Thanks.

 

 

This is on the Silhouette last February or maybe the Eclipse in 2011. Anyway,he wore a different hat everywhere including dinner. Your friend shouldn't have a problem. I hope he enjoys the cruise.

[phoenix_dream]

My sympathy to anyone having to go through chemo, and then forced into embarassing situations for security purposes. Just curious - isn't it the norm at airport security to also have to remove hats and other headwear? At least there you can request a private screening. I guess I can understand the hat removal request as something could be stored under a hat and sneaked in, but why one needs to remove a scarf that hugs the head and does not obscure any facial features is beyond me.

 

I am sure hats (other than very casual hats like baseball caps or large beachwear) will be perfectly acceptable in the dining room. That said, I tend to agree that very, very few people wear hats in the MDR so it will do much more to call attention to the person than a bald male head. Not my decision to make, and no disrespect meant, just putting forth an opinion on attracting attention.

[MicCanberra]

I suggest the OPs friend does what ever he feels most comfortable with.

On my last cruise, a new friend that we met through CC, joined us for trivia.

There was a question about hair and I commented on her beautiful blonde hair. When she joined us for dinner that night, she had brown hair in a different style, I made a comment on how good the hairdressers were onboard and that is when she told us that it was a wig. Apparently she had alopecia and no one would ever know form the variety of wigs, scarves and hats that she wore.:D

[wvufan]

Both my parents and my wife have had major cancer, so I am sensitive to the needs of cancer patients.

 

Having said that, I suspect if you looked around the dining room on a Celebrity cruise you would find more bald guys than those with a full head of hair. I'm one of them.

 

That was my earlier post on this thread. Since then, after reading many other-particularly those who seem to feel that baldness is bad, I feel I need to add some further thoughts.

 

Being bald is not a hideous condition. We are not shunned by society. We are not relegated to lonely lives of humiliation and rejection. We are not so grotesque as to scare children and small dogs. And we don't need to hide our baldness. I sympathize with the guy who had chemo, but he needs to get over being "uncomfortable" without hair.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE :D:D Bob and Phyl

[midwestchick]

Both my parents and my wife have had major cancer, so I am sensitive to the needs of cancer patients.

 

Having said that, I suspect if you looked around the dining room on a Celebrity cruise you would find more bald guys than those with a full head of hair. I'm one of them.

 

That was my earlier post on this thread. Since then, after reading many other-particularly those who seem to feel that baldness is bad, I feel I need to add some further thoughts.

 

Being bald is not a hideous condition. We are not shunned by society. We are not relegated to lonely lives of humiliation and rejection. We are not so grotesque as to scare children and small dogs. And we don't need to hide our baldness. I sympathize with the guy who had chemo, but he needs to get over being "uncomfortable" without hair.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE :D:D Bob and Phyl

 

Your situation is entirely different than someone losing their hair very quickly due to chemo. No, bald is not hideous...some men look wonderful. My husband has a huge bald spot that started years ago...normal aging process.

Please don't tell someone to get over being uncomfortable without hair. You don't understand what they go through.....I do hope your post wasn't as "cold" as it sounds to me when I read it.

[SamfromOz]

I cruised the Caribbean last February about 12 weeks after finishing chemo (and I'm female)

 

I think I just looked like someone with very, very, very short hair - barely past a crew cut. Nobody seemed to notice or bother too much.

 

If your friend has any time at all (even a few weeks) between the last chemo and his cruise he may be able to pass for having a number one cut. Rogain foam is a really big help here. I used it after reading some positive research results re cancer patients, and my grew faster than all my fellow patients!

 

I would recommend he wear a beret in the MDR at night. Its a little more dressy, and has a bit of a European vibe which can be very stylish. People might think he is French. Save the straw hats for day time.

 

Its likely that your friend will feel more comfortable with his baldness by the time your cruise comes around. It seems awful and scary at first, but you do get used to it. I'll wager he ends up going bear-headed in the end.

 

Re the security people making that poor woman remove her head scarf - that's outrageous! Celebrity need a serious rethink of their procedures and staff training.

[6andy6]

We are cruising to Bermuda with a good friend who is in treatment for cancer. Because of chemo, hair is gone. Should we take select dining, because he wants to wear a hat (uncomfortable without it) or should we avoid the dining rooms @ dinner and go to buffet?? Do any of you have a recommendation for a hat ? Fedora???? Thanks.

 

TBH - what a sad state of affairs your nation has become...a joke really...if you have to worry about of all things...whether a recovering person should or should not wear a hat or whether you should change your dinning plans due to being worried about what really are socially inept ingrates are thinking about your dress.

 

My opinion, you and hubby have been tho enough stress. Go, wear what you want and don't bother trying to justify yourself to anyone that wants to tut tut behind your back.

 

And have a wonderful time....

[SamfromOz]

Look, I'm sorry Andy but you are totally out of line.

 

The OP was just trying to find ways to make a sick person feel more at ease. Maybe they were worried whether they would encounter problems wearing hats in the MDR and the OP was trying to research, sort it, and reassure them.

 

Of course no-one would be tut-tutting, that was never suggested. People generally are understanding and kind - but that doesn't stop the chemo patient from feeling self conscious, anxious, worried or embarrassed. That's how I felt at times, and if a friend was trying to allay those feelings on my behalf that would NOT mean that our country had become a joke, or was in a sad state of affairs (to the contrary)

 

So it doesn't mean those labels apply to their country either.

 

Honestly, life really is too short to waste being mean to one another.

[wvufan]

 

Your situation is entirely different than someone losing their hair very quickly due to chemo. No, bald is not hideous...some men look wonderful. My husband has a huge bald spot that started years ago...normal aging process.

Please don't tell someone to get over being uncomfortable without hair. You don't understand what they go through.....I do hope your post wasn't as "cold" as it sounds to me when I read it.

 

Actually, I do understand. If you read my post again, you will note that both my parents and my wife had cancer. It killed my dad. He weighed 56 pounds when he died. My wife was hospitalized for 39 out of 41 days and needed significant aftercare when she was able to return home.

 

I can assure you I am very aware of the emotional and physical problems associated with cancer and chemo.

 

My additional response was prompted by all the commments on how the OP could avoid being seen in public without hair-as though it is something he should be ashamed of. The more I read, the more I felt that such attitudes are insulting to those who are naturally or voluntarily bald.

 

I aplogize if my remarks were seen as cold. However, rather than the OP hiding his head, I think that he would be better served by telling him that he looks fine without hair and that he should "wear" his baldness with pride. I do.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE :D:DBob and Phyl

 

.

[Texed]

TBH - what a sad state of affairs your nation has become...a joke really....

 

Never mind.

[NLH Arizona]

I think one should do what they feel comfortable and if someone doesn’t like it, it is their problem.

 

In July and November of 2011, I went through two brain tumor surgeries and ended up being bald as a cue ball. At my first outing, I wore a scarf hat and was so uncomfortable, people kept staring at me and one lady even came up and patted my arm and said “breast cancer?”, I said no and walked away. I didn’t go out of the house for a few weeks because of how I felt after this outing. When I started going out again, I continued to wear hats, scarves and head coverings and the stares continued, so I decided not to wear a head covering and give people something really to stare at (I couldn’t wear a wig, because I had 5 months of infections). My hair was about an inch or so and unfortunately the 7 inch scar on the side of my head showed through a little, but I wore it as a badge of courage - I survived two surgeries to my brain - yeah! I actually had the last laugh; I have always had a lot of thick hair (shoulder length) that took some time to style, but when I was bald and when it was growing, it only took minutes to wash my head (I would smile each time I washed my head, thinking of how long it took most women to do their hair)….no blow dryer, straight iron, etc. My hair grew out, even though it seemed like it took forever (until you are bald, you really don't know how long it takes for your hair to grow), but now I keep it shorter than before…I got use to the ease of it.

　

No matter what you do, you will get stares; either from those that think you should not be wearing a head covering inside or those that are curious as to why you are wearing a head covering or those that come up to you and try to guess why you are wear a head covering. Bottom line is, do what is comfortable to you, it doesn’t really matter what others think, especially those that would judge you without knowing why you are doing something, the only thing that matters is what YOU THINK.

[USVI-4-me]

NLHArizona, Thank you for your post.

"I think one should do what they feel comfortable and if someone doesn’t like it, it is their problem."

 

 

 

In addition, I find inspiration in the courage of fellow passengers who are getting out with bald heads, eye patches, mobility issues, and tremors to name a few.

 

When I see the courage of others who are meeting their life challenges, I want to stop and give a heartfelt BRAVO. However, I do not. Instead, I try NOT to show my admiration. I choose to swallow hard and keep the memory in my heart. I know my own challenges will be met because I've learned from others who meet their own.

 

Happy cruising to all who are dealing with challenges. There are many of us aboard the ships.

 

It's not about what others are thinking, it's about getting out there and living your life as best you can. Friends who cruise with you are also absorbing your courage.

 

-Marisa

[6andy6]

Look, I'm sorry Andy but you are totally out of line.

 

The OP was just trying to find ways to make a sick person feel more at ease. Maybe they were worried whether they would encounter problems wearing hats in the MDR and the OP was trying to research, sort it, and reassure them.

 

Of course no-one would be tut-tutting, that was never suggested. People generally are understanding and kind - but that doesn't stop the chemo patient from feeling self conscious, anxious, worried or embarrassed. That's how I felt at times, and if a friend was trying to allay those feelings on my behalf that would NOT mean that our country had become a joke, or was in a sad state of affairs (to the contrary)

 

So it doesn't mean those labels apply to their country either.

 

Honestly, life really is too short to waste being mean to one another.

 

Come on, what planet are you really on. Read the other threads, even read some of the answers in here ( such as go speak to the Maitre de or 'no one will care') and the virilant comments on those that don't conform to a dress code they think should never change or that you should eat in the buffet if you don't want to dress the right way. And this is the result of people seeing that.

 

See my friend, that is the problem and its compounded by your comment by ignoring the fact of what a judgemèntal society we have become and none more so than where most of the 'if you don't dress as I want you to dress then I will whinge bridgade' come from. Ignoring this fact doesn't solved a problem that should be tackled head on.

 

The OP is feeling the need to check for feedback because of the concern 'others' will have problems with someone wearing a hat in the MDR. End of story.

 

 

So sorry I respectfully disagree. Tat this thread appears with the questions asked is reflective of that concern about others.....and as I said they have bigger issues to be fretting about if they are concerned about others disapproving of head gear.

 

Even the maitre de comments implying a sense of needing to justify the reasons.

[6andy6]

Look, I'm sorry Andy but you are totally out of line.

 

The OP was just trying to find ways to make a sick person feel more at ease. Maybe they were worried whether they would encounter problems wearing hats in the MDR and the OP was trying to research, sort it, and reassure them.

 

Of course no-one would be tut-tutting, that was never suggested. People generally are understanding and kind - but that doesn't stop the chemo patient from feeling self conscious, anxious, worried or embarrassed. That's how I felt at times, and if a friend was trying to allay those feelings on my behalf that would NOT mean that our country had become a joke, or was in a sad state of affairs (to the contrary)

 

So it doesn't mean those labels apply to their country either.

 

Honestly, life really is too short to waste being mean to one another.

 

Come on, what planet are you really on. Read the other threads, even read some of the answers in here ( such as go speak to the Maitre de or 'no one will care') and the virilant comments on those that don't conform to a dress code they think should never change or that you should eat in the buffet if you don't want to dress the right way. And this is the result of people seeing that.

 

See my friend, that is the problem and its compounded by your comment by ignoring the fact of what a judgemèntal society we have become and none more so than where most of the 'if you don't dress as I want you to dress then I will whinge bridgade' come from. Ignoring this fact doesn't solved a problem that should be tackled head on.

 

The OP is feeling the need to check for feedback because of the concern 'others' will have problems with someone wearing a hat in the MDR. End of story.

 

 

So sorry I respectfully disagree. Tat this thread appears with the questions asked is reflective of that concern about others.....and as I said they have bigger issues to be fretting about if they are concerned about others disapproving of head gear.

 

Even the maitre de comments implying a sense of needing to justify the reasons.

[tip]

I have never concerned myself with what others choose to wear on a cruise and I think that you will find that to be true once you get on the ship.

 

On the other hand, there are way too many busybodies on these boards who find it necessary to comment on what others choose to wear.

[MicCanberra]

No comment:D

[GeorgiaPeach51]

TBH - what a sad state of affairs your nation has become...a joke really...if you have to worry about of all things...whether a recovering person should or should not wear a hat or whether you should change your dinning plans due to being worried about what really are socially inept ingrates are thinking about your dress.

 

My opinion, you and hubby have been tho enough stress. Go, wear what you want and don't bother trying to justify yourself to anyone that wants to tut tut behind your back.

 

And have a wonderful time....

 

Wow. You're kidding, right? Just because people are discussing a question and trying to be helpful to the person who asked the question, you say our nation has become "a joke really"? Are you for real? Play nice, children, play nice. :(

[MicCanberra]

Wow. You're kidding, right? Just because people are discussing a question and trying to be helpful to the person who asked the question, you say our nation has become "a joke really"? Are you for real? Play nice, children, play nice. :(

Agree.:D

[CaroleSS]

My husband and I were discussing this thread....his comment was, in case someone says he should remove his hat in the MDR, he should reply, I'll remove my hat if you remove your Halloween witch mask!

 

Hahahahaha. :eek: