Recovering cancer patient wearing hat in MDR?

[nittany lion fan]

We are cruising to Bermuda with a good friend who is in treatment for cancer. Because of chemo, hair is gone. Should we take select dining, because he wants to wear a hat (uncomfortable without it) or should we avoid the dining rooms @ dinner and go to buffet?? Do any of you have a recommendation for a hat ? Fedora???? Thanks.

[Diva Onboard]

I was on an Alaska cruise and a woman who just completed chemo wore a scarf-type hat and a stocking-like cap. Since this is a gentleman you are asking about, I would probably suggest a lightweight stocking-like cap. The other suggestion I would have is that you stop by the dining room when you first board the ship and ask to talk to the maitre'd and explain the situation. It should not be any problem.

[Eglesbrech]

Firstly there will be no issue with wearing whatever style of hat your friend wants to.

 

A hat with a slight brim will cover the fact that your friends eyebrows will probably also go with the chemo.

 

I have been in this situation with a close relative on a cruise and my one bit of advise would be request a table on the edge of the MDR so that there less chance that your friends hat could be knocked off by anyone passing and cause him any distress.

 

He will probably already have been told this but his skin will be very very sensitive to sun so take lots of high factor sunscreen.

 

Have a wonderful cruise.

[mutzy]

my husband wore a soft stocking type cap and no comments

were ever made

[pkw]

We are cruising to Bermuda with a good friend who is in treatment for cancer. Because of chemo, hair is gone. Should we take select dining, because he wants to wear a hat (uncomfortable without it) or should we avoid the dining rooms @ dinner and go to buffet?? Do any of you have a recommendation for a hat ? Fedora???? Thanks.

 

I would be inclined not to go for select dining as you will be sitting with different people every night whereas you go for an early or late seating you will be with the same people every night so although he may feel a little uncomfortable on the first night he should be more relaxed for the remainder of the cruise. This is my opinion only & how I think I would handle it.

 

I think it is wonderful that he is on the way to recovery & would think the majority of passengers would think the same. I hope you all have a wonderful cruise.

[Bundles917]

On a recent Reflection cruise I noticed a gentleman wearing a cowboy hat each night during dinner, even for the formal night... and actually, it was a rather spiffy topper.

[Cruise Arizona]

There was a man sitting next to us a few table over that wore a watch cap every night, I thought it was simply because he was bald and it was cool in the dining room, and now I wonder if he had lost his hair to chemo.

 

Anyway, I would say a knit watch cap, beret, newsboy, or fedora would be fine. People might wonder, so you might want to offer a simple explanation, and then I don't think anyone would have a problem with a hat in the dining room for medical reasons. High Schools have made exceptions to the no hat rule for years for kids undergoing chemo.

 

I wish your friend the best of heath and speedy recovery.

[olemissreb]

First of all - congratulations to your friend for making it through his treatment. He should enjoy every second of his cruise and enjoy wearing whatever hat makes him feel the most comfortable.

 

Second, given that he's so fresh out of treatment, I would suggest Select Dining. You will have the flexibility to go when he doesn't feel tired and you can request that it just be a table for 4 each night.

 

I do a lot of volunteering for a breast cancer organization here in Atlanta and personally, I've come to love the bald heads of cancer survivors! They are my heros. Please give your friend a hug from me and tell him HE ROCKS!:)

[Essiesmom]

Perhaps a scarf-type covering, with an eyepatch. Instant pirate! EM

[midwestchick]

Perhaps a scarf-type covering, with an eyepatch. Instant pirate! EM

 

:eek: :eek:

 

I hope you didn't mean it the way you wrote it.

As a former Oncology nurse, we see people all the time who have been through cancer treatment and have lost their hair. Thank goodness, they are no longer stared at the way they once were...if I happen to see someone who is bald, I glance away quickly, albeit the normal aging process for some,...I would never want them to feel self confident about their condition or hair loss.

I'm so glad he is taking this cruise....and yes, talk to someone on the ship and explain the situation. Most people only think losing the hair and the body image applies to women...so not true...I had male patients also tell me, like my female patients..."the hardest part about this was losing my hair"...when you sit with them and administer their chemo you learn so much. Bravo to him.

[Oville]

:eek: :eek:

 

I hope you didn't mean it the way you wrote it.

As a former Oncology nurse, we see people all the time who have been through cancer treatment and have lost their hair. Thank goodness, they are no longer stared at the way they once were...if I happen to see someone who is bald, I glance away quickly, albeit the normal aging process for some,...I would never want them to feel self confident about their condition or hair loss.

I'm so glad he is taking this cruise....and yes, talk to someone on the ship and explain the situation. Most people only think losing the hair and the body image applies to women...so not true...I had male patients also tell me, like my female patients..."the hardest part about this was losing my hair"...when you sit with them and administer their chemo you learn so much. Bravo to him.

 

What a very nice and kind response! Bravo to you for sharing your personal experiences about both men and women. (My guess is you meant self conscious not self confident, darn automatic spell check.)

[midwestchick]

What a very nice and kind response! Bravo to you for sharing your personal experience about both men and women. (My guess is you meant self conscious not self confident.)

 

 

Both and thank you for pointing my typo out...they do lose confidence about so many things also. My oncology patients were the best patients I had ever had the opportunity to treat and be with....they are truly a very special group of people. I feel very blessed that God led me down that path...I had to have been there for a reason.

Has your friend considered a toupee? Some men do this like women do their....oh and I so dislkike this term...wigs. I prefer to call them hairpieces. I've seen some very life like looking toupees for men...I know there used to be some assistance for cancer patients...he may want to check that out, if he hasn't already.

Tell him, no matter what route he chooses, I'm sure he will look quite dapper.

Another thing...I have also treated men with breast cancer...men do not think this will ever happen to them and they are devastated with the diagnosis of breast cancer.

[MicCanberra]

I have been through this scenario myself and found my head would feel cold even on warm days. I would wear a beanie to keep my head warm but this may be too casual for a dining room. So, can I suggest a beret, it is warm, comfortable, stylish and not too ostentatious.:D

[Andy]

We are cruising to Bermuda with a good friend who is in treatment for cancer. Because of chemo, hair is gone. Should we take select dining, because he wants to wear a hat (uncomfortable without it) or should we avoid the dining rooms @ dinner and go to buffet?? Do any of you have a recommendation for a hat ? Fedora???? Thanks.

 

Hi Nittany lion fan,

 

It's wonderful that your friend can join you on your sailing. As far as the hat - I'm sure it will be fine. By all means, dine in the MDR (if that's your preference) and enjoy yourself. If you are overly concerned about him wearing a hat, you may wish to have a word with the Maitre'd or Restaurant Mananger, so they are aware of the situation.

 

May God Bless your friend, and I wish him a speedy recovery. I hope this helps. Enjoy your Cruise.

[buchhalm]

Hey, a nice hat is cool!!!!!!

:)

I am sure your table mates won't mind.

 

(Baseball caps however belong outside)

[kyriecat]

I'm sure that Essiesmom meant for her comment to be tongue-in-cheek and not in any way disparaging to the OP or friend. It's hard to denote joking in the written word, although the addition of a smiley would have helped.

 

I know people react differently to cancer treatments and losing their hair. Some have fun with it, but others prefer to cover up.

 

I know one woman who wore some of the most outrageous scarves and hats I have ever seen. I think she outdid royalty at the Will & Kate wedding. :D;) She wanted people to notice her because it gave her the opportunity to show that cancer is not something to be hidden away. I'm surprised she didn't wear a scarf and eyepatch to be a pirate for a day. She did have her head painted like an egg for Easter. It's been a couple years and so far, so good for her!

 

I also know a man who became really depressed by the loss of his hair. He wore a beret everyday to cover his head and didn't want to discuss his illness. It's only been a couple months for him. His hair is coming back and he quit wearing the beret.

 

With regard to the OP's question, I think a nice hat would be fine if that helps your friend deal with his hair loss. A beret, fedora, or even a cowboy hat would be fine. If he wants to have some fun, he can wear a top hat and tails for formal night. :D;)

[wvufan]

Both my parents and my wife have had major cancer, so I am sensitive to the needs of cancer patients.

 

Having said that, I suspect if you looked around the dining room on a Celebrity cruise you would find more bald guys than those with a full head of hair. I'm one of them.

 

Happy Sails to You

 

OOOEEE :D:D Bob and Phyl

[Starry Eyes]

It is wonderful that your friend is able to join you. Of course, he should wear a hat (or not...there are many handsome bald men) if that is most comfortable for him. I'd probably suggest he avoid the ubiquitous baseball hat...that is probably the hat most often worn indoors without need by men unwittingly violating the old no hat rule for men, so staff and guests might challenge that hat more. If he does not necessarily want to talk about his condition and headwear, something understated may be best...Like a thin stocking cap or beret in an understated color. If he is wants to make a statement and potentially talk about his condition and such, he might let his personal style run free.

[boston_scientist]

There are some very fashionable hats out there -- members of my family (thank goodness none of them have had cancer) actually prefer to buy their hats at gift shops that are connected to hospitals with oncology clinics. Not only do profits benefit cancer treatment/research but the hats are very high quality.

[CruisinNole]

Just a note about wearing a head covering in general -- A friend undergoing chemo wore a headscarf at check in for a cruise. She was told that she had to remove her headscarf when she had her picture taken at security. She was extremely upset because her picture showed her as bald and she was concerned that if she wore her wig off the ship, she'd have a problem when she tried to reboard. Plus, her baldness was an issue with her and she was so upset because all of her friends boarding the ship with her, saw her bald for the first time. Her husband talked with security afterwards about how the whole issue was handled but they were adamant that she would have to remove her headscarf for her security photo. Naturally, everyone handles the effects of chemo differently and the OPs friend may not have a problem removing his hat for his photo but he should be prepared that he may have to do so.

[suekay]

Just a note about wearing a head covering in general -- A friend undergoing chemo wore a headscarf at check in for a cruise. She was told that she had to remove her headscarf when she had her picture taken at security. She was extremely upset because her picture showed her as bald and she was concerned that if she wore her wig off the ship, she'd have a problem when she tried to reboard. Plus, her baldness was an issue with her and she was so upset because all of her friends boarding the ship with her, saw her bald for the first time. Her husband talked with security afterwards about how the whole issue was handled but they were adamant that she would have to remove her headscarf for her security photo. Naturally, everyone handles the effects of chemo differently and the OPs friend may not have a problem removing his hat for his photo but he should be prepared that he may have to do so.

 

That is dreadful. I feel so sorry for her. It's something that should be taken to the highest level to avoid it happening to anybody else

[buchhalm]

Post nr 20, about removing head scarfs...

How can the rent-a-cops do that? Will the ask Muslim ladies to remove their veils or Indian gentlemen to remove the turbans?

As long as the FACE is visable, that should be enough for the cruise card.:eek:

[kyriecat]

CruisinNole,

 

You bring up a good point that I had forgotten about. My husband likes to wear a baseball cap during the day (not to the dining room!). On Silhouette when we returned to the ship, he was always asked to remove his cap when he swiped his Sea Pass card to reboard. I can't remember for sure, but I think he has been asked to remove his hat for most, if not all, our cruises when returning through security. I don't normally wear a hat, but the few times I have, I was also asked to remove it.

 

Even though the OP's question was about dining, he should mention to the friend that he will probably have to remove his hat during reboarding (assuming the friend plans to leave the ship) so the friend can be prepared and hopefully not too self-conscious about others seeing his head.

 

I can't recall seeing turbaned men onboard but I remember seeing a veiled Muslim woman who was taken to a screened area at the side by a female security guard so the woman could let the guard see her face in a private setting. I wasn't there when the Muslim woman had her Sea Pass photo taken so I have no idea how that was handled.

 

If the OP's friend is extremely self-conscious about removing a hat, I would imagine he could ask for privacy. To be honest (hopefully this doesn't sound sexist) so many men (even those with full heads of hair) deliberately shave their heads these days, I doubt that I would notice whether a man was bald due to shaving, genetics, or chemo. I would probably pay more attention if he did ask for privacy.

[Hlitner]

We hope the OPs friend makes a full recovery and can cruise for many decades. He might want to consider that bald guys are really not uncommon, attract no attention, and its even considered a fashion statement by some men who shave their heads. Wearing a hat in the MDR, on the other hand, will attract attention and look a bit silly. Another option is to get a decent hairpiece.

 

Hank

[terigo]

I'm of the opposite opinion to the person that recommended select dining. If you have the same tablemates every time, you just make an offhanded remark explaining the situation just once, and then everyone knows what the deal is for the rest of the cruise.