Buyer's remorse?

[Strophic]

Has anyone ever experienced this with a travel partner? My boyfriend has never been on a cruise before and is struggling with the cost—right now we're looking at about $1,200 per person for our 7-night including everything (excursions, transportation/parking/etc) and he's having a hard time with it.

 

I feel bad because I sort of went full speed ahead into this cruise thing because I just got my vacation schedule at work and my days don't roll over, so I really wanted to take a great trip at the end of the year. We don't make huge salaries, but we don't have a rent expense and his student loan payments have started up yet, so I think it will be easily affordable, maybe more than he realizes having just started a higher-paying job.

 

I wouldn't call it cold feet exactly because we are still definitely going, but I am worried that he is going to be crunching numbers every day instead of enjoying the trip. He's not used to taking vacations and has said a couple times that with the same money he could be buying a high-end computer that will last for years. Which... that's true, but I feel like when you look back on your life you will think of a vacation sooner than a computer, especially since he tends to like the idea of new gadgets more than he likes them in practice.

 

I guess I am just hoping that he can still enjoy the cruise. I know it's a lot of money and I know it will be worth it for me, but I never had any doubts. Has anyone every traveled with someone who felt "buyer's remorse" or been that person themselves?

[BlueRiband]

From what you told us he really doesn't want to go but would rather have spent his share on a high end computer. He's going only because you want to. If you are worried that he will obsess over discretionary expenses then that's what will probably happen. None of us here can give you a formula that will cause him to see it your way.

 

If you are more than 90 days out there is still time to cancel. Maybe this isn't the right time financially for the two of you.

Edited August 12, 2016 by BlueRiband

[Markanddonna]

Financial discrepancies between couples is probably the #1 reason for a breakup. He seems to be "more practical" and he sees his student loans looming out there on the horizon. Sounds like he is trying to tell you something and maybe you aren't listening.

 

Personally, I would cancel and not just hope that he will have a great time. I love to cruise but that is because we take very affordable cruises, have always lived BELOW our means and have NO debt.

[Strophic]

Canceling is not an option because our deposit is non-refundable. He told me that half of him still really wants to go, and he is hesitant to even cut back on the excursions, which I offered to do, because they sound fun and he wants to do them.

 

He has a habit of getting really hyped up for gadgets and then not liking them as much in practice. He traded his XBONE for a PS4 and then a couple months later traded the PS4 for an XBONE. He even got a high end computer last year and then ended up returning it because he didn't care about the graphical improvements as much as he thought he would. So I don't think it's just a matter of practicality.

 

I think the main thing is that he is putting up a lot of money now for something he won't receive for another four months, and he's never done something like that before. Even though we can afford it, he's never spent money and not gotten an immediate return.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Strophic

[MCC retired]

Even a high end computer will be out dated by technology quickly . A cruise memory will last much longer .

[packer99]

As I got older, I learned "experiences" were a lot more fun than stuff.

[ScottsSweetie]

Canceling is not an option because our deposit is non-refundable. He told me that half of him still really wants to go, and he is hesitant to even cut back on the excursions, which I offered to do, because they sound fun and he wants to do them.

 

He has a habit of getting really hyped up for gadgets and then not liking them as much in practice. He traded his XBONE for a PS4 and then a couple months later traded the PS4 for an XBONE. He even got a high end computer last year and then ended up returning it because he didn't care about the graphical improvements as much as he thought he would. So I don't think it's just a matter of practicality.

 

I think the main thing is that he is putting up a lot of money now for something he won't receive for another four months, and he's never done something like that before. Even though we can afford it, he's never spent money and not gotten an immediate return.

 

So he doesn't have a clue what he wants.:rolleyes:

 

If it's all non-refundable, then just go with the flow and see how it all falls out. Going on a vacation like this, in such close quarters for so many days, can be an eye opening experience and tell you both exactly in which direction this relationship is going.

 

I have you have a great cruise!

[CPT Trips]

A drinks package may mitigate obsessive numbers crunching. ;)

[pris993]

You have two choices: cancel and cut your loses minus the deposit: go and see how it work out.

 

Let your boyfriend make the choice or just go and hope it works out.

 

Women often give in, I think I would just go and hope it works out. Regardless of how it turns out, this could be a very good learning experience for both of you as a couple.

 

Wish you the best no matter what is decided.

[klfrodo]

This is like watching a Jerry Springer show.

I didn't know this was a therapy board.

[Strophic]

This is like watching a Jerry Springer show.

I didn't know this was a therapy board.

 

How is it anything like either of those things?

[jennmaybe]

Hello neighbor! I live in NC too!

 

So, my question here is......have you guys ever spent a week in Myrtle Beach? I'm guessing no or he would not be stressing over paying this amount for a 7 day cruise. :D:)

[klfrodo]

How is it anything like either of those things?

 

Drama

Going to complete strangers searching for approval for decisions made or not made.

Seeking relationship advice on a public internet forum.

 

Bottom line

This is between you and your boyfriend. No one else.

You both need to put on your big boy and big girl pants and sit down face to face and talk.

[Strophic]

Hello neighbor! I live in NC too!

 

So, my question here is......have you guys ever spent a week in Myrtle Beach? I'm guessing no or he would not be stressing over paying this amount for a 7 day cruise. :D:)

 

Hey there! Indeed we have never been to Myrtle Beach, and his last vacation was maybe... eight years ago? I just am hoping it's a relatively common thing for people who are concerned about the expense to end up having a great time.

[Strophic]

Drama

Going to complete strangers searching for approval for decisions made or not made.

Seeking relationship advice on a public internet forum.

 

Bottom line

This is between you and your boyfriend. No one else.

You both need to put on your big boy and big girl pants and sit down face to face and talk.

 

Geez, I was just asking if anyone had ever had a similar experience, I never asked for relationship advice. I think you are looking for drama where there is none.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Strophic

[zqvol]

Hey there! Indeed we have never been to Myrtle Beach, and his last vacation was maybe... eight years ago? I just am hoping it's a relatively common thing for people who are concerned about the expense to end up having a great time.

 

When the trip finally gets here he will be excited, and end up having a good time. He seems to be concerned with the unknown more than with the trip.

[cruisemainiac]

Feed the side of him that wants to go. Every couple of weeks find a video on you tube about cruising and share it with him. Keep him excited. Maybe a couple of little gifts for the cruise, like water shoes. You guys will have a great trip.

[Flatbush Flyer]

Geez, I was just asking if anyone had ever had a similar experience, I never asked for relationship advice. I think you are looking for drama where there is none.

 

 

Certainly wouldn't worry over $1200/person, which is "chump change" for a 7 day cruise. If anything, I'd worry about the quality of what I'd be getting for so little a cost.

[Strophic]

Certainly wouldn't worry over $1200/person, which is "chump change" for a 7 day cruise. If anything, I'd worry about the quality of what I'd be getting for so little a cost.

 

We're saving money by getting a guaranteed interior stateroom and by driving instead of flying. But we're going to the steakhouse and doing excursions in three out of four ports so I am also in the camp of thinking it's quite a good price for what we're getting.

[maryann ns]

You can save a lot of money by not taking ships' excursions. I do not know where you are going but go to the Port of Call forum and do some research. Many ports can be done on your own. Others with a private excursion. Join the Roll Call for your cruise and see if you can join in with others.

[packer99]

Geez, I was just asking if anyone had ever had a similar experience, I never asked for relationship advice. I think you are looking for drama where there is none.

 

 

Don't mean to sound harsh, but if he is worried about spending money on a vacation with you but doesn't blink an eye about buying an electronic, maybe it is a relationship problem that you are unaware of.

 

Ii had a choice between a computer or a vacation with my husband/boyfriend etc, I would choose the vacation hands down. Stuff is stuff, memories last a life time. Just saying.......

 

I mean, will he ever want to really vacation with you, or is he all just about stuff. Money is a huge part of relationships. If you didn't make the comment about him buying all these electronics, I would think differently.

 

But the idea of showing him videos of the cruise ship etc might help. We got super excited for our trip after we kept watching different videos etc.

[Strophic]

You can save a lot of money by not taking ships' excursions. I do not know where you are going but go to the Port of Call forum and do some research. Many ports can be done on your own. Others with a private excursion. Join the Roll Call for your cruise and see if you can join in with others.

 

We found all of our excursions through TripAdvisor :) Definitely not paying extra money for the ship-sponsored trips when there are cheaper, very well-reviewed companies out there.

[Strophic]

Don't mean to sound harsh, but if he is worried about spending money on a vacation with you but doesn't blink an eye about buying an electronic, maybe it is a relationship problem that you are unaware of.

 

Ii had a choice between a computer or a vacation with my husband/boyfriend etc, I would choose the vacation hands down. Stuff is stuff, memories last a life time. Just saying.......

 

I mean, will he ever want to really vacation with you, or is he all just about stuff. Money is a huge part of relationships. If you didn't make the comment about him buying all these electronics, I would think differently.

 

But the idea of showing him videos of the cruise ship etc might help. We got super excited for our trip after we kept watching different videos etc.

 

I'm actually considering getting a new computer myself. I love gaming with high resolutions and good frame rates, so I understand his desire for one. I will probably put off buying it for another month or two due to the trip, but I'm definitely all about the electronics too.

 

He actually brought up that exact point himself—there's always going to be a new "thing" to buy, and he doesn't want to always be passing on vacations. I dunno, maybe he's just like a baby bird who needs to be given a gentle push out of the best. He -wants- to do the trip, he's just having trouble reconciling the fact that it's not going to be free.

[packer99]

I bet he ends up loving it then!

[jennmaybe]

Hey there! Indeed we have never been to Myrtle Beach, and his last vacation was maybe... eight years ago? I just am hoping it's a relatively common thing for people who are concerned about the expense to end up having a great time.

 

I agree with the others in pulling up some videos like on You Tube and have him watch those. You can also tell him how much you guys deserve a vacation and you'd be glad to compare prices for different things.....then go out and get a some hotel prices for a week long vaca at Myrtle Beach......then add in all your food, gas, extras for entertainment, etc. See if you have much of a difference.

 

FYI....we haven't been to MB in about 6 years now, but we rented a house a few years in a row and just the house cost us $3000 for one week. Granted hotels will not cost that much, but that still didn't include our food and entertainment for the week. :)