At What Age do you Feel it's Safe to Let Your Kids Roam (Allure esp.)?

[ginadv]

Hi All!

 

Super newbie here--I believe this is my second post (my first was on my roll call) and I have a question for veteran cruisers with kids. Our girls will be on the older end of 10, 12, and 14 (they all have April birthdays) when we sail on the Allure in mid-February.

 

Obviously this is a very personal decision and one that relates to one's own comfort levels and parenting styles, but I wanted to see if there's a general rule of thumb with regard to letting kids fly solo aboard the ship.

 

I'm not sure how much time my kids will want to spend in Adventure Ocean--my 10 year old will definitely be into it (social butterfly!), but the older two are a bit more reserved. I believe they will be able to be in the same age group, so that may help. But beyond the kids' clubs, how do people feel about giving their kids a bit of free range time?

 

I'm apprehensive for primarily two reasons--one, the possibility of pitching themselves overboard (I know, that's dumb, but that's sometimes where a mother's brain goes!), and two, the thought of one of them getting pulled into a cabin by some pervert (Obviously also very unlikely for several reasons and besides, I would never allow either of the two older girls roam without her sister; safety in numbers).

 

The Allure is ginormous and we won't have cell phones (though I'm sure my husband will want to bring the walkie talkies we use when we're skiing) and I know you can leave one another messages on stateroom phones from house phones, which is a good method of communication.

 

What's the going wisdom, folks? What do you all do? I think my girls would appreciate a bit of freedom and I think it would make it more relaxing for everyone if they wanted to go to the pool and we didn't, for instance. I'd love some insight here.

 

Sorry for the extremely long winded post essentially asking a simple question. I guess I just needed to spew out all of my thinking here!

 

Thanks!

[brenderlou]

It really depends on the maturity level of the 12 and 14 yr old. Our 12 yr old is a straight A, 4.5 GPA student but common sense is not a strong suit.

We let her stroll around the promenade while hubby and I are chilling and having a drink near by.

I would be nervous about being alone at the pool should someone slip and fall on the slippery deck. I presume they are both great swimmers but also you just never know. You can always grab a chair or table in the shade while they are in the pool. For me, there are too many variables for the pool alone.

 

I would feel better if during the day they wanted to walk around for a bit and then meet up. Perhaps hour increments and then stretch that out if you feel comfy.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Edited December 14, 2016 by brenderlou

[dwayneb236]

I'm not a parent and at my age never will be, but I'll post my concerns as a police officer of over 20 years.

 

It depends on the maturity level of the girls. I have no problems with kids running around a ship in the daytime or early evening as long as they use the buddy system and are VERY aware of the dangers of the world we live in.

 

We all know that most bad things happen at night, and yes I am aware the bad things happen at any time, but for the most part in my experience and I have a lot, this is what I've seen.

 

Again, it's your comfort level. There will be people coming on here saying absolutely not. Their experiences and ideals may be different from yours.

 

But what I always tell people is Just Be Aware. I am constantly checking my surroundings and always have an exit plan for where ever I am. Guessing it's the cop in me.

 

Good luck on your decisions and have a great time.

[ginadv]

For the sake of clarification I should add that I can totally trust these girls not to be foolish--like yours brenderlou, they are both honor roll kids and are extremely conscientious--the kinds of kids that teachers always say at parent-teacher conferences, "I wish I had a whole classroom full of kids like her!" They're very safe, mature, responsible girls with good heads on their shoulders and are strong swimmers (hence my pool example). So I'm not worried that they'd go off the rails, so to speak, if left to their own devices. My concerns lie more with their own safety. That, and it feels like setting them free in a small city!

Edited December 14, 2016 by ginadv

[mjkacmom]

It really depends on the kids. My kids have had the run of our small town since 10 (3 square miles but close to 30,000 residents), so I was comfortable letting my 10, 10 and 12 year old freedom, as long as I knew where the were, and neverformore than an hour or so. Heck, a few weeks ago, dd13 and dd15 spent the day exploring NYC with friends.

 

When my oldest was 14, she just had to check in on a regular basis, and come back to the cabin at curfew (1?). It's nice when you have siblings, safety in numbers.

[srlafleur]

If you would feel comfortable letting them wander alone at a large mall, they should be fine on board a ship.

Buddy system - always, common courtesy to other guests - always, and general awareness of personal and shipboard safety (pay attention at the muster drill), always.

[breeze123]

Agree that it depends on the maturity of the child and comfort of the adult. That being said, we let our daughter start roaming by herself at age 10. She had an iPod touch and we paid for wifi so we could communicate with her via text. She had guidelines on where she could go and what she could do. Also had to check in at set times. We reviewed the rules (don't go in any rooms, don't go off with strangers, etc) and gave her some leeway to prove her responsibility. I don't think you're ever fully comfortable with it, but I think you adjust as much as you can. With siblings in your group, the safety in numbers really helps (we have an only child).

[cello56]

Just remember, like any small city - which is what the Allure size ship is - most people are inherently good and would never hurt anyone. Some people however are simply bad people. Yes, Homeland Security runs a check of who is on board, but there are many bad people who have never been caught. Yet.

[Grandma Dazzles]

Be aware that walkie talkies do not work well on ships (too much metal) and often passengers comment about the squaking and general nuisance they create. Many Caribbean islands do not allow them, or camouflage clothing.

 

That being said, I think you need to concentrate on the fact that the ship is a small city. Make sure they have definite rules - example - no visiting any cabin, or visitors in your cabins. Set forth rules about no "running wild" "elevator riding" etc. just because other kids do it, not okay!

 

You know your kids and their strengths and weaknesses. For example, are they good athletes; would you be happy leaving them for an hour on the sports court, pool, ice rink. Remember pools do not have lifeguards.

 

Many people suggest going to Adventure Ocean on the first night - especially for teenagers, as often friendships are made for entire cruise.

 

Register on your meet and mingle. You may make friends with another family.

[dcgrumpy]

I second the recommendation of having the 12 & 14yo go to the teen Mix & Mingle the first night.

[tlatrice]

I let my son roam at 12 (1 week shy of 13). He's very mature and I told him:

 

1. Do not let new friends pull you into anything that you know is wrong. Just walk away. You don't have to explain. Just leave. If it involves hurting someone, walk away and GET HELP!

 

2. Stay out of other people's rooms.

 

3. Don't let anyone into OUR room.

 

4. Don't let ships personnel have to call me because you're doing something stupid. It won't end well for you.

 

Cruising is his favorite vacation because it gives him time away from me as well as with me. On port days were joined at the hip. But on the ship he gets to be independent for a while. He's actually made friends that he still keeps in touch with and when he changed school districts in 9th grade he ran into kids he'd met on our first cruise! He's now a cruise addict too!

[cyntil8ing]

My kids are 10 and 13 and have been cruising since they were 2 and 5. They are not kids clubs fans.

 

For our kids, freedom is a slow, ongoing process, based on their previous success. It started when the oldest was around 8, when they could leave the table to go get ice cream. I still remember my fear that they wouldn't be able to find the table again. This summer, we left them in the cabin to order room service and watch movies while dh and I went to dinner.

 

The rules are no pool without an adult. They must have a destination or general area where they will be, and an expected return or check-in time, generally no more than two hours. If they go together, they must stay together. I also let my daughter go alone occasionally when she gets tired of her brother. She likes to feel like she's not a babysitter sometimes, but they mostly enjoy each other's company.

 

We don't just let them wander the ship aimlessly, but will agree if they ask to go look at our photos or play trivia or listen to a musician, etc. They have been very responsible and never not been where we expected them to be when we expected them to be there. So, we continue to loosen the reins a bit each time as we all gain a little more confidence.

[ZoeyVictoria]

Sometime during the last few years, a parent posted the "contract" that he and his children signed regarding what was expected behavior-wise during the cruise. If somebody will be kind enough to repost it, you might find that seeing the rules in writing and signing the contract will make more of an impact than discussion with your kids.

[mil76]

I have two boys, so the perspective may be a bit different. For the two older girls, assume they will be roaming the ship. They will be in Teen Club, which is come and go as you please. There are two different groups (12-14 and 15-17) so they will be in the same group. Most teens tend to use the teen club as a base rather than a destination, so they will do some of the events, and spend the rest of the time running in packs around the ship doing other things. Lucky for you, you have two in that group, so they have numbers playing in their favor. Contrary to everyone's worst fears of what could happen to their kids on cruise ships, the biggest potential for trouble is other kids their age (or slightly older). Kids can let their guard down on vacation just like adults, so there is the potential for bad decisions. My oldest has been through all levels of AO and Teen Club and the youngest will been through all of them next year, so we have heard horror stories of what some of these kids have done. The biggest priority would be having that conversation with the older kids to set expectations more than worrying about some boogeyman yanking them into a room. Sounds like your kids have good heads on their shoulders so it shouldn't be an issue.

 

For the youngest, she'll be in the oldest Adventure Ocean group. Alot of these kids, especially the 11 year olds, will be allowed to sign themselves out of AO, which means they are not tied to AO like the younger kids. 10 is tough because you may not be 100% comfortable with letting them self-signout, but she will probably ask since the other kids are doing it. With my boys, we did let them do self-signout at that age, but with explicit instructions on what they could or could not do. The rules were they could sign-out to go straight back to the room, unless we had previous agreement on where they were going, such as the sports deck. We would check up to make sure they were complying, and made sure they knew it.

[akcruz]

Sometime during the last few years, a parent posted the "contract" that he and his children signed regarding what was expected behavior-wise during the cruise. If somebody will be kind enough to repost it, you might find that seeing the rules in writing and signing the contract will make more of an impact than discussion with your kids.

Many versions of a kids contract on the family board.

 

As others have said only you know your kids. I would start out with smaller amounts of time and ease into longer time frames as you feel comfortable. Understand that the 12 and up groups have free reign to come and go as they want, the next group under that you choose whether they can sign themselves out or not.

 

Walkie talkies, especially on ships the size of Allure, are pretty useless. We always set check in times for our kids and would wander by where they said they would be to make sure they were there. Cruising can be a great family vacation but planning, setting rules and consequences ahead of time is needed.

 

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

[SilkySal]

Register on your meet and mingle. You may make friends with another family.

 

Click on the attached page below and find your week to connect with your fellow cruisers going on the Allure the same week as you!!;)

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=578

[jamesboat]

Id say 10 is old enough

[frisbeewife]

Everybody else has pretty much given the same answer about whether to let the kids have some free-range time as I would have given, but I do have a comment about your worry about the girls going overboard. While it's something that you do have to consider, I have to point out that when you hear about a passenger going overboard it is NEVER a kid. It's always an adult and usually one that's pretty drunk. They don't make it easy to go over the rail and you have to work at it to get there.

 

So if your girls are responsible people I think falling overboard would be the least of the concerns.

[foxgoodrich]

Just a couple of comments from a grandmother and former educator...;)

 

I think you are the best judge of the amount of freedom your girls can handle. It sounds like they are responsible and smart kids, and from your description, I think they will be fine. You know all the things to warn them about, and I would add one more to that list. I don't want to sound paranoid, and I hate saying they should be somewhat wary of ship crew/staff, but the fact is that although 99% of the crew/staff are wonderful, helpful, nice people, the law of averages says there will be a few bad guys in that group too. When a person is wearing a uniform, kids tend to follow what they say. 99% of the time that will be fine (they give directions from A to B, they answer questions, etc.), but please warn the girls not to go anywhere with ANYBODY - guest or crew. If they have some kind of a problem, ask them to go to Guest Services or to come find you.

 

Use your cabin as home base and set up regular times to meet there. Leaving phone messages on your cabin phone is a good idea too - make sure everyone knows how to listen to messages. Go to the dollar store and buy a little white board with a marker and magnet on the back. (I have one - it cost a buck at the dollar store. It's about the size of a manilla folder, packs easily.) It will stick to the cabin walls as there is metal behind the wallpaper. You can easily leave each other notes and reminders on this. It's really helpful when you return to an empty cabin to see a note on the wall - "gone for ice cream, be back in 15 min" or something like that.

 

On the pools - as somebody pointed out, there is technically a rule that kids must have an adult present when they use the pools. I think it's a good idea to go with them at first, then you can decide whether it's safe to leave them for awhile. Be aware that on sea days the pools will be very very crowded!

 

On the Kids Club - DO encourage them to go on the first night. They can meet other kids their ages and find out what's planned during the week - then they can decide what activities interest them. DH and I always get a kick out of seeing the group activities for kids their age. I actually got pulled into one of those activities myself on Voyager of the Seas a few cruises ago....

 

DH and I were sitting at a table out on the pool deck after 2nd seating dinner one evening, about 10:30pm or so I think. Very few people were around at that time. (No big screen by the pool back then!) It was a lovely clear night and we were enjoying the the soft sound of calm seas and the view of the stars as we finished a drink. Suddenly we heard the sounds of an exuberant group of 5-6 kids, same age range as your older girls, running toward us. They spotted us and came immediately over to me, asking me how many pieces of jewelry I was wearing. They were on a scavenger hunt and they had to "collect" a woman wearing 12 or more pieces of jewelry. They carefully counted my jewelry - I wear 4 rings on one finger, so that was a real head start. Also another ring, earrings, 3 bangle bracelets, and a couple of 'stacked' necklaces. Turned out I met their criteria, so they excitedly asked me if I would please go with them to the kids club. I went with them, and they presented me for inspection. They won the scavenger hunt! Those kids were having a blast.

 

Allure is a beautiful ship with lots and lots of things to do and see. It takes a day or two to get used to the size of the ship and figure out where everything is, and you can speed up the learning curve by printing out some deck plans ahead of time. Walk around the ship together the first afternoon and give yourselves a self-guided tour. You can specify some meeting places and be sure everybody knows how to get to them.

 

I hope you and your family have a wonderful cruise! I think your girls will love the Allure!!

Judy

Edited December 14, 2016 by foxgoodrich

[Havingfun2010]

The simple answer is what do you do at home, and you do the same on the ship. The ship is a floating city, with 8,680 people on board from 50 different countries.

 

So answer the question. Do you let your kids walk around your neighborhood. Do they walk to school? Do you allow them to walk to school? Do they take the bus on their own? What about at night? Do you kids walk down Main Street with the bars open?

 

The ship is no different than what you do at home. Yes, there are many cameras, but they don't cover every space.

 

I'm not going to tell you what to do, and my guess is that you should not be asking strangers what they do.

[vacationlover_mn]

I don't have kids, but of course I have advice :). I'd make sure they each have a device that has Royal IQ on it, so you can reach them via text. Actually, that's my advice for anyone in a group... on my girls trip on Independence, my 66 year old friend kept getting lost! Really wish we would have had Royal IQ to find her :)

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app

[S.A.M.J.R.]

As mentioned, this is something that isn't age specific. There are some 10 year olds that can handle the freedom and 16 year olds that can't.

 

On our last cruise, we let DS(then 12) have free reign. He had to have dinner with us, and then be back by curfew. He left us notes where he was going to be. DD(10) stayed with us or big sister and friend.

[brenderlou]

I just don't get this contract thing. Either you will do as I say and all is well or you don't and.........

If there needs to be a contract printed and signed then my child isn't mature enough.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[dcgrumpy]

I just don't get this contract thing. Either you will do as I say and all is well or you don't and.........

If there needs to be a contract printed and signed then my child isn't mature enough.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

 

Yeah.

 

My contract is "don't do anything to piss me off or you'll be sitting in the cabin by yourself all week".

[brenderlou]

Yeah.

 

 

 

My contract is "don't do anything to piss me off or you'll be sitting in the cabin by yourself all week".

 

 

I see we went to the same school of parenting. [emoji1]

 

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums