Restaurant Discounts for Bariatric Surgery Patients?

[Husky1987]

Meh.

 

OP, more power to you if you ask. Whether a few folks get a few bucks off a dinner doesn't bother me in the least.

 

Just one more thing, like people wearing shorts in the MDR, that has absolutely no effect on the enjoyment level of my cruise.

[CruiseAfterWLS]

WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY AND RESTAURANT MEALS   ---------------------->>>>>

I know I'm really late to the party, but I HAD to respond to this. I stumbled upon this thread while searching how to get my card replaced, as I've lost it. At first, I was really in shock because I had assumed I was reading in a forum for people who had weight loss surgery. I couldn't believe the lack of empathy. After reading through a few REALLY misinformed replies, I realized it was a cruise forum and most people responding here likely don't know anything about this type of procedure, or life after having it. They have accepted my card on a cruise, btw.

 

When you have this surgery, it's not about just eating LESS. For most people, particularly with standard gastric bypass, it's about STARVING your body to make the weight come off. You eat almost nothing. It's generally because typical diet and exercise won't do it and most of us don't have the willpower to literally starve ourselves voluntarily. Many people who become morbidly obese did NOT get there by eating everything they see. There are a variety of health conditions that lead to weight gain, or inability to lose, or even just really shitty (IE: ancestors evolved really well to survive famine) metabolism. On that note, I've always been jealous of skinny friends who don't have to exercise and can stuff themselves literally all day long, with the WORST stuff, and just stay skinny. While there are heavy people out there who just eat too much and there are thin people who starve themselves and spend 10 hours a week in the gym to stay that way, body size is largely about genetics. Most people who have weight loss surgery were not eating 5 servings at restaurants pre-surgery.

 

People don't show restaurants this card and ask for a discount because they're "only going to eat one or two plates of food, while others eat three or ten." It's not because they're "eating light." It's because they literally are not consuming a "meal." It's also not free. For instance, a place may have a senior menu where you can order half a sandwich and a cup of soup, instead of paying for a whole sandwich and bowl of soup that you're just going to waste. AN EXAMPLE: Imagine if you went out with your family to a place that charges $50 a person for an all you can eat buffet, but you couldn't eat AT ALL. Are you wealthy enough to feel completely comfortable handing them $50 plus tax for the privilege of joining your family in their establishment? I'm not. Even if you can afford to throw away money like that, would you feel good about going to the buffet and putting food on your plate, only for you to eat two bites and someone to pick it up and dump it in the trash when you leave? Would you go, or would you be left out of family gatherings so you're not having to basically buy a ticket to be present? I may show them my WLS card, explain how I eat, and the manager could approve me to pay $20 for the otherwise $50 buffet. Then I'd go to the buffet and get my egg, or two pieces of shrimp, or bowl of broth, and they'd get $20 for it. Cruise or not, buffet or not, LOTS of social activities are based around dining. People who can't eat ,and are probably making payments on their surgery bill and ongoing associated care, shouldn't be bullied for not wanting to spend $$ to $$$ for food they aren't eating, just so they can spend time with friends and family. 

 

Serious insight:

 For the first year after I had the surgery, I couldn't finish a hard boiled egg. That's ONE EGG. That's not as "part of breakfast" or something like that. It was literally too much for me to eat an egg as an entire meal. I had to carry water with me at all times and take tiny sips every few minutes, all day long, because there wasn't enough room in my stomach to just "drink a glass of water." I went to an all you can eat steakhouse once with friends and the management wouldn't help me out. I had to pay the same as everyone else and for my "meal," I went to the salad bar and put a piece of pepperoni and a small chunk of cheese on a cracker. FULL (and even in pain for eating too much that time). In the next couple of years after that, I could eat half of a sandwich. Again, I'm not talking about half a sandwich plus a salad and soup, nor am I talking about half a sub at Subway. I mean one slice of bread, folded in half, with a couple deli cuts or peanut butter. Ordering a restaurant meal for an adult would not only be a major waste financially, it would also be a major waste of food because I wouldn't be physically capable of finishing the leftovers before they were no good. Note that I'm not saying I wouldn't WANT the leftovers, I'm saying I would have to eat them for every single meal for 2 or 3 days to possibly finish one restaurant serving. Now that my stomach has stretched (it eventually does or you would starve to death), I can eat portions like an average child. It's been 10 years now and I still eat like a little kid (and I've gained back 30 pounds of what I lost in the initial, starvation period because A. super slow metabolism + B. I eat some food sometimes). For restaurant portion references: I can go to Olive Garden and have between one third and one half of a bread stick and a bowl of Pasta e Fagioli. I can't have salad if I plan to have anything else. Your body also doesn't break down food as well after weight loss surgery. The idea is that your body clung to too many calories before so, even when you're eating only a little bit, it's worthwhile to try not to absorb ALL of the food you manage to eat. If I eat salad and then meat, the roughage will stop up the digestion process and then I just wind up with an esophageal obstruction because the meat can't go down. If I eat junk food with someone at a fast food place, I might get something like chicken nuggets or french fries. NOT both. I can have one or the other. I might order a small burger instead, remove half of the bun, and almost finish the patty and other half of the bun. The last bite or two goes out the window for the birds. If I try to really splurge (usually for someone else who insists), and eat a more adult portion, I wind up in pain with my blood pressure skyrocketing, extreme fatigue, palpitations, light-headed, nauseous or rocking back and forth with severe stomach cramping, maybe confused, and sweating, from postprandial hypoglycemia (look it up). 

 

Please try not to look at other people and assume your challenges in life are comparable. I don't like to talk about the surgery because many people *as shown in some of the replies here* are very judgmental. They think it's "the easy way to lose weight," which couldn't be further from the truth. Hell, weight loss surgery almost killed me, and I'm not the only one. That was after years of dieting, starving myself, and being looked down on and treated badly by others because I was fat. Particularly as a woman, people treat you like you're actually a BAD PERSON if you're overweight. It's pretty sick and demented, really. People also think that if you had weight loss surgery, it's because you can't control yourself and just eat and eat, so you had to have surgery to keep you from overeating. After being faced with those assumptions time and again, I stopped telling anyone who didn't already know I had it. I've had acquaintances who were absolutely certain I was anorexic. People are always trying to force me to eat more. When I'm sick, they discount my real health issues and tell me it's because I'm not eating enough. I only found out I had lupus AFTER I had gastric bypass. I had it done because I couldn't lose weight and was becoming diabetic. I had been very sick for a while and doctors kept insisting I was just so exhausted and in so much pain all the time because I was fat... I had to schedule naps on my way to and from work so I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. I was in incredible pain and I never felt like I had any sleep. I was falling down the stairs frequently because my legs would just stop working properly. When the weight started falling off and my health got worse, instead of better, they finally took my symptoms seriously and figured it out.

 

 

[QueenofKrakatoa]

10 minutes ago, CruiseAfterWLS said:

WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY AND RESTAURANT MEALS   ---------------------->>>>>

I know I'm really late to the party, but I HAD to respond to this. I stumbled upon this thread while searching how to get my card replaced, as I've lost it. At first, I was really in shock because I had assumed I was reading in a forum for people who had weight loss surgery. I couldn't believe the lack of empathy. After reading through a few REALLY misinformed replies, I realized it was a cruise forum and most people responding here likely don't know anything about this type of procedure, or life after having it. They have accepted my card on a cruise, btw.

 

When you have this surgery, it's not about just eating LESS. For most people, particularly with standard gastric bypass, it's about STARVING your body to make the weight come off. You eat almost nothing. It's generally because typical diet and exercise won't do it and most of us don't have the willpower to literally starve ourselves voluntarily. Many people who become morbidly obese did NOT get there by eating everything they see. There are a variety of health conditions that lead to weight gain, or inability to lose, or even just really shitty (IE: ancestors evolved really well to survive famine) metabolism. On that note, I've always been jealous of skinny friends who don't have to exercise and can stuff themselves literally all day long, with the WORST stuff, and just stay skinny. While there are heavy people out there who just eat too much and there are thin people who starve themselves and spend 10 hours a week in the gym to stay that way, body size is largely about genetics. Most people who have weight loss surgery were not eating 5 servings at restaurants pre-surgery.

 

People don't show restaurants this card and ask for a discount because they're "only going to eat one or two plates of food, while others eat three or ten." It's not because they're "eating light." It's because they literally are not consuming a "meal." It's also not free. For instance, a place may have a senior menu where you can order half a sandwich and a cup of soup, instead of paying for a whole sandwich and bowl of soup that you're just going to waste. AN EXAMPLE: Imagine if you went out with your family to a place that charges $50 a person for an all you can eat buffet, but you couldn't eat AT ALL. Are you wealthy enough to feel completely comfortable handing them $50 plus tax for the privilege of joining your family in their establishment? I'm not. Even if you can afford to throw away money like that, would you feel good about going to the buffet and putting food on your plate, only for you to eat two bites and someone to pick it up and dump it in the trash when you leave? Would you go, or would you be left out of family gatherings so you're not having to basically buy a ticket to be present? I may show them my WLS card, explain how I eat, and the manager could approve me to pay $20 for the otherwise $50 buffet. Then I'd go to the buffet and get my egg, or two pieces of shrimp, or bowl of broth, and they'd get $20 for it. Cruise or not, buffet or not, LOTS of social activities are based around dining. People who can't eat ,and are probably making payments on their surgery bill and ongoing associated care, shouldn't be bullied for not wanting to spend $$ to $$$ for food they aren't eating, just so they can spend time with friends and family. 

 

Serious insight:

 For the first year after I had the surgery, I couldn't finish a hard boiled egg. That's ONE EGG. That's not as "part of breakfast" or something like that. It was literally too much for me to eat an egg as an entire meal. I had to carry water with me at all times and take tiny sips every few minutes, all day long, because there wasn't enough room in my stomach to just "drink a glass of water." I went to an all you can eat steakhouse once with friends and the management wouldn't help me out. I had to pay the same as everyone else and for my "meal," I went to the salad bar and put a piece of pepperoni and a small chunk of cheese on a cracker. FULL (and even in pain for eating too much that time). In the next couple of years after that, I could eat half of a sandwich. Again, I'm not talking about half a sandwich plus a salad and soup, nor am I talking about half a sub at Subway. I mean one slice of bread, folded in half, with a couple deli cuts or peanut butter. Ordering a restaurant meal for an adult would not only be a major waste financially, it would also be a major waste of food because I wouldn't be physically capable of finishing the leftovers before they were no good. Note that I'm not saying I wouldn't WANT the leftovers, I'm saying I would have to eat them for every single meal for 2 or 3 days to possibly finish one restaurant serving. Now that my stomach has stretched (it eventually does or you would starve to death), I can eat portions like an average child. It's been 10 years now and I still eat like a little kid (and I've gained back 30 pounds of what I lost in the initial, starvation period because A. super slow metabolism + B. I eat some food sometimes). For restaurant portion references: I can go to Olive Garden and have between one third and one half of a bread stick and a bowl of Pasta e Fagioli. I can't have salad if I plan to have anything else. Your body also doesn't break down food as well after weight loss surgery. The idea is that your body clung to too many calories before so, even when you're eating only a little bit, it's worthwhile to try not to absorb ALL of the food you manage to eat. If I eat salad and then meat, the roughage will stop up the digestion process and then I just wind up with an esophageal obstruction because the meat can't go down. If I eat junk food with someone at a fast food place, I might get something like chicken nuggets or french fries. NOT both. I can have one or the other. I might order a small burger instead, remove half of the bun, and almost finish the patty and other half of the bun. The last bite or two goes out the window for the birds. If I try to really splurge (usually for someone else who insists), and eat a more adult portion, I wind up in pain with my blood pressure skyrocketing, extreme fatigue, palpitations, light-headed, nauseous or rocking back and forth with severe stomach cramping, maybe confused, and sweating, from postprandial hypoglycemia (look it up). 

 

Please try not to look at other people and assume your challenges in life are comparable. I don't like to talk about the surgery because many people *as shown in some of the replies here* are very judgmental. They think it's "the easy way to lose weight," which couldn't be further from the truth. Hell, weight loss surgery almost killed me, and I'm not the only one. That was after years of dieting, starving myself, and being looked down on and treated badly by others because I was fat. Particularly as a woman, people treat you like you're actually a BAD PERSON if you're overweight. It's pretty sick and demented, really. People also think that if you had weight loss surgery, it's because you can't control yourself and just eat and eat, so you had to have surgery to keep you from overeating. After being faced with those assumptions time and again, I stopped telling anyone who didn't already know I had it. I've had acquaintances who were absolutely certain I was anorexic. People are always trying to force me to eat more. When I'm sick, they discount my real health issues and tell me it's because I'm not eating enough. I only found out I had lupus AFTER I had gastric bypass. I had it done because I couldn't lose weight and was becoming diabetic. I had been very sick for a while and doctors kept insisting I was just so exhausted and in so much pain all the time because I was fat... I had to schedule naps on my way to and from work so I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel. I was in incredible pain and I never felt like I had any sleep. I was falling down the stairs frequently because my legs would just stop working properly. When the weight started falling off and my health got worse, instead of better, they finally took my symptoms seriously and figured it out.

 

 

This was an amazing response. Thank you. 

[Merion_Mom]

Welcome to Cruise Critic, @CruiseAfterWLS

[travelplus]

On 3/20/2018 at 6:06 AM, Yvonne said:

 

Why would you think it is a joke? Sounds like a perfectly legitimate question to me. I worked many years in a restaurant and saw several people who had had weight loss surgery and had a special card from their doctor. We had a buffet and the owner would only charge them the kids price for it. Most weight loss customers ate very little so I can understand them not wanting to pay the adult or full price.

Agree not a joke. OP try and email special_needs@rccl.com and ask them the same question perhaps they can work it out.

[Iamcruzin]

On 3/20/2018 at 7:42 AM, penguinchick121 said:

Hello,

 

I have gastric sleeve surgery about 18 months ago and was curious if anyone was aware of Royal Caribbean offering discounts at the specialty restaurants for surgery patients. I'd love to go, but I feel like it would be a waste spending all the money knowing I really won't get my moneys worth. I also feel bad because others going with me want to go, but don't want to leave me out. I'm in the process of contacting Royal Caribbean was well, just curious if anyone had first hand knowledge.

 

Thanks,

Heather

You took the big step to change your life and overall health. You need to get over the idea of getting your money's worth when it comes to dining and socializing. I have family and friends who had this surgery and it failed because they went back to their old habits.  Go to the restaurant with your friends and only eat what you can.  

Edited October 14, 2019 by Iamcruzin

[CruiseAfterWLS]

37 minutes ago, Iamcruzin said:

You took the big step to change your life and overall health. You need to get over the idea of getting your money's worth when it comes to dining and socializing. I have family and friends who had this surgery and it failed because they went back to their old habits.  Go to the restaurant with your friends and only eat what you can.  

Did you even read MY reply? Can you really blame someone for wanting to eat when they paid for a meal in a restaurant? The OP wasn't talking about "going back to old habits," which likely were not what YOU are imagining anyway. It was about whether restaurants will force the OP to pay full price for a meal they won't actually get to eat. Would you buy a wedding cake if you knew the total amount that would be consumed would be equivalent to a single donut hole?  

 

P.S.  

When you literally can't eat food, not "can't overeat," just going to such places is basically torture. No matter what someone's metabolism or what size they are / have been, we are all drawn to delicious food. Many people who've had these procedures are just as hungry as any other adult but can't satisfy that hunger even though eating something the size of their thumb is physically filling for them. Some are far HUNGRIER than the average person and always will be. I was never a big eater, even though I'm hungry, because I have always known my metabolism is my enemy and spent much of my life trying to be "average" sized. I can't eat like a typical adult and maintain a BMI under 40. I had this surgery 10 years ago, I'm 100 pounds lighter than I was when I had it, and I have a tiny stomach. I'm usually hungry, painfully so. It's a struggle when I feel famished and everyone around me eats regular meals but I know I can't get away with that (and physically couldn't if I decided to try, due to WLS). Your friend whose surgery "failed" is likely very hungry all the time. It's typically not physical so much as hormonal. You have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes. The point of the restaurant discount is to avoid being financially penalized for showing up to be with your friends / family, even though you can't have what they are all having. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by CruiseAfterWLS
Clearer wording / arrangement of text

[John&LaLa]

@CruiseAfterWLS what is the card you are referring to? Not sure I remember it from earlier

[Iamcruzin]

I understand the procedure perfectly and know that there is a limitation. However the stomach can stretch and the mind set of wasting food and money comes into play. Either sit it out or go and be with the group. Those are the options. Asking for a discount because of personal needs is wrong and tacky. I would be embarrassed to be with anyone who asked for this in a restaurant that charges a cover. It’s just as bad as a vegan asking for a discount in Chops.

Edited October 14, 2019 by Iamcruzin

[CruiseAfterWLS]

9 minutes ago, John&LaLa said:

@CruiseAfterWLS what is the card you are referring to? Not sure I remember it from earlier

It's a little business card your surgeon's office gives you to show at restaurants explaining that it's physically impossible for you to eat more than an ounce or so of food. It helps so that people who've had weight loss surgery can get a break when it comes to being charged full price when they won't eat a meal but want to be there with others. It also helps mitigate the need to "get your money's worth" as others here have brought up. If you're not being charged for it, there's no pressure to eat enough to justify the price you're paying. 

[ownedbypets]

5 minutes ago, Iamcruzin said:

I understand the procedure perfectly and know that there is a limitation. However the stomach can stretch and the mind set of wasting food and money comes into play. Either sit it out or go and be with the group those are the options. Asking for a discount because if personal needs is wrong and tacky. I would be embarrassed to be with anyone who asked for this in a restaurant that charges a cover. It’s just as bad as a vegan asking for a discount in Chops.

 

I ask for a discount at Chefs Table because I don't drink wine.

[CruiseAfterWLS]

5 minutes ago, Iamcruzin said:

I understand the procedure perfectly and know that there is a limitation. However the stomach can stretch and the mind set of wasting food and money comes into play. Either sit it out or go and be with the group. Those are the options. Asking for a discount because of personal needs is wrong and tacky. I would be embarrassed to be with anyone who asked for this in a restaurant that charges a cover. It’s just as bad as a vegan asking for a discount in Chops.

So, you would prefer your friends have to pay to hang out with you, even though they won't be enjoying a meal like you are? Don't you think it's better not to tempt people who've been through hell trying to lose weight by making them feel the need to justify what they're being charged? Get real (and learn some empathy). 

[Tulsacoker]

1 minute ago, ownedbypets said:

 

I ask for a discount at Chefs Table because I don't drink wine.

did you get it? 

[CruiseAfterWLS]

1 minute ago, ownedbypets said:

 

I ask for a discount at Chefs Table because I don't drink wine.

This is one of the reasons I never get a package that's all inclusive! I don't and never did drink alcohol, so I try not to pay for it. 

[ownedbypets]

Just now, Tulsacoker said:

did you get it? 

 

Every time

[BNBR]

5 minutes ago, CruiseAfterWLS said:

So, you would prefer your friends have to pay to hang out with you, even though they won't be enjoying a meal like you are? Don't you think it's better not to tempt people who've been through hell trying to lose weight by making them feel the need to justify what they're being charged? Get real (and learn some empathy). 

 

If at a restaurant with a cover charge, then absolutely.  You would have gladly paid if you could eat your money's worth.  So its really about value to YOU with no regard for those running the business and trying to earn a living. Why don't you have some empathy for the restaurant owner who is trying to earn a living and pay his own bills.  You are taking up a seat. See how that works?  Go to a restaurant that doesn't have a cover and don't order anything.  You won't be charged. Brilliant, right?  A restaurant offers a lot more than just food. It's an experience. Why should you be entitled to that experience for free? 

Edited October 14, 2019 by BNBR

[Tulsacoker]

while i understand the plight of the OP and the thought process on the up-charge for the specialty restaurants, where does the line get drawn since the cruise fare include all you can get in the MDR, windjammer and all the other included food venues? 

Edited October 14, 2019 by Tulsacoker

[ownedbypets]

1 minute ago, CruiseAfterWLS said:

This is one of the reasons I never get a package that's all inclusive! I don't and never did drink alcohol, so I try not to pay for it. 

 

We never pre book it. As soon as we board we are approached about all of the dining packages and I always say that I don't drink wine when they mention Chefs Table. They have always replied that they will give me a discount.

[BNBR]

2 minutes ago, Tulsacoker said:

while i understand the plight of the OP and the thought process on the up-charge for the specialty restaurants, where do the line get drawn since the cruise fare include all you can get in the MDR, windjammer and all the other included food venues? 

 

The line is already clearly drawn. If you want to hang out with friends at a place with a cover, then you pay the cover. That's part of being an adult and making adult decisions. 

 

There is no plight. I went to a rather expensive chefs tasting menu a couple of weeks ago and was full half way through. I picked just a tiny bit off the remaining dishes to taste them but couldn't really eat it all.  I sure as heck didn't ask for a discount. I paid for the experience accordingly. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by BNBR

[CruiseAfterWLS]

2 minutes ago, Tulsacoker said:

while i understand the plight of the OP and the thought process on the up-charge for the specialty restaurants, where do the line get drawn since the cruise fare include all you can get in the MDR, windjammer and all the other included food venues? 

It can't be 100% fair and still be done efficiently when it comes to package deals. Not being charged a fortune for a specific meal you can't eat helps though. It also helps keep your social life alive in general when you don't have to pay (or at least don't have to pay quite so much) to NOT EAT with your friends and family. 

[Tulsacoker]

I wonder has anyone gone to a specialty restaurant to hang with a group (but not to eat) and not be charged? 

[CruiseAfterWLS]

2 minutes ago, BNBR said:

 

The line is already clearly drawn. If you want to hang out with friends at a place with a cover, then you pay the cover. That's part of being an adult and making adult decisions. 

 

There is no plight. I went to a rather expensive chefs tasting menu a couple of weeks ago and was full half way through. I picked just a tiny bit off the remaining dishes to taste them but couldn't really eat it all.  I sure as heck didn't ask for a discount. I paid for the experience accordingly. 

Someone who's had WLS isn't generally going to get full "half way through." That picking to taste a couple of things is their limit. 

[Iamcruzin]

12 minutes ago, ownedbypets said:

 

I ask for a discount at Chefs Table because I don't drink wine.

That has always been offered by any cruise line I have sailed.

[sjb317]

7 minutes ago, ownedbypets said:

 

We never pre book it. As soon as we board we are approached about all of the dining packages and I always say that I don't drink wine when they mention Chefs Table. They have always replied that they will give me a discount.

They always give us a discount too and we do drink wine.😂😂😂 In fact, we don’t do Chef’s Table unless we are offered a decent discount.

 

Sherri🙂

[BNBR]

6 minutes ago, CruiseAfterWLS said:

Someone who's had WLS isn't generally going to get full "half way through." That picking to taste a couple of things is their limit. 

 

What's your point?  They still sat there and enjoyed the experience.  They still took up a seat in the establishment.  They could still have picked a little off each plate and enjoyed the experience. 

 

This is all about you feeling you are getting your money's worth.  You, you, you. You would gladly pay the cover if you could eat more. So it's not about being unable to pay the money. It's about value. If you don't see the value at a certain establishment, then don't go there. But don't show up and try to change the rules or product.

 

I have a back injury and can't do rock climbing. Should Royal discount my cruise fare since the rock wall is built in? Such lack of empathy! 

Edited October 14, 2019 by BNBR