P&O Cruisers - What are things like where YOU are?

[Harry Peterson]

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your Dad, Sue. No words can express what it’s like, but I’m glad you were able to spend some time with him in the last few hours. That’s so very important, both for him and for you. 
 

Harry

[Eddie99]

I’m very sorry to hear your news Sue

I hope everything goes smoothly wrt the funeral and such

Special thoughts for your poor Mum

[bobstheboy]

My very best wishes to you Sue and your family.

[Josy1953]

Deepest condolences to you and your family.  I am glad that you were able to be with him at the end.

[P&O SUE]

1 hour ago, Angel57 said:

@P&O SUE I’m so sorry to read your post this morning. What a sad time for you and your family. How is your Mum doing?

So glad you were able to be with your Dad at the end and that he was surrounded by all those who he loved and who loved him. No one can ask for more than that and this will give you all so much comfort in the times ahead.

Sending a virtual hug.

Gill x

Thank you Gill. Mum is ok, it was my grandson’s 5th birthday yesterday and they came round to open presents with my mum then John and I went bowling with them and my son’s fiancée’s family while my sister sat with mum.

It was nice to have a break as she is hard work, she falls lots but is very stubborn and tries to be independent.

 

One of the hardest bits is when my mum gets calls on her mobile or tries to make calls. Often her speech is very bad so she just throws her phone at me and I have to talk to them, some I don’t know very well! After about 4 calls I asked if we could leave it for a bit as it was very emotional. 

[P&O SUE]

2 hours ago, lincslady said:

So sorry you are having a sad and very busy time, Sue.  It was good that you could be with him; that is my greatest regret when my husband died in hospital just over a year ago.

 

It is a good thing that you have quite a few family members to help and to comfort your mother.

 

You should get  help when you get the certificate.  If you don't already know,  the authorities offer to let the important official people, like state pensions and income tax etc.  know for you which is a great help in the first few weeks.  It is called Tell us Once, and the Registrar will organise it. 

 

I  hope you will feel a little comforted by the sympathetic thoughts winging their way to you, from me and as you will soon see from your other online friends here.

 

 

Thank you. My sister is 2-3 hours away though and won’t be around lots.

It’s so frustrating how long it takes to register a death now, can’t arrange anything without it and John is back at work now. We’re lucky he is home at 2.30pm every day but that means we can’t make any appointments until late afternoon. I don’t drive and it’s hard to walk round here, too many hills and steps!  Sorry, rambling now…

[terrierjohn]

So sorry for your loss Sue.

[Beckett]

9 minutes ago, P&O SUE said:

Thank you. My sister is 2-3 hours away though and won’t be around lots.

It’s so frustrating how long it takes to register a death now, can’t arrange anything without it and John is back at work now. We’re lucky he is home at 2.30pm every day but that means we can’t make any appointments until late afternoon. I don’t drive and it’s hard to walk round here, too many hills and steps!  Sorry, rambling now…

Not rambling Sue.......just expressing your frustration at the inevitable bureaucracy at a time when you least need it.

 

I am very sorry for the loss of your lovely dad Sue but echo others' comments that you were able to be with him at the end. Those days and hours will comfort you greatly in time and replace the raw loss that you feel at the moment. He sounds like a lovely dad and your wonderful memories of him can be re-visited and treasured forever.

 

I send my love and prayers. Jane xx

[Adawn47]

3 hours ago, P&O SUE said:

So for the next week we were just constantly at the hospital for most of the day. Very very draining and hard on my mum in her wheelchair. We didn’t have time to do anything else as we were up there 8 or 9 most days.

My uncle rushed up from Dover the first night and Dad was very chatty that evening but after that he was mostly asleep and he didn’t have anything to eat and drink for about 3 or 4 days, it was unbelievable he lasted so long. They told us that first day he had about 24 hours!!

 

Trouble is you don’t get a death certificate for about 5 days now so we’re just in limbo. John has had to go back to work today. We’ll need him to take us to all the various places. It’s going to be another difficult week.

I'm so sorry to learn of your very sad news this morning Sue. My sincerest condolences to both you and your family. 

This will be a very busy and stressful time you at the moment, but please, please find the time take care of yourself too. It's so easy to let your own health and mental wellbeing fall by the wayside. I have been in the same situation as you are in now, not only dealing with all the arrangements, but also bringing Mum home to live with us and making sure she was comfortable and well.

Take care and stay strong Sue, we're all here for you as and when you need us. xx

Avril

Just a thought Sue. Won't John's firm allow him a little compassionate leave?

Edited October 22, 2023 by Adawn47
added text

[zap99]

4 hours ago, P&O SUE said:

So for the next week we were just constantly at the hospital for most of the day. Very very draining and hard on my mum in her wheelchair. We didn’t have time to do anything else as we were up there 8 or 9 most days.

My uncle rushed up from Dover the first night and Dad was very chatty that evening but after that he was mostly asleep and he didn’t have anything to eat and drink for about 3 or 4 days, it was unbelievable he lasted so long. They told us that first day he had about 24 hours!!

 

Trouble is you don’t get a death certificate for about 5 days now so we’re just in limbo. John has had to go back to work today. We’ll need him to take us to all the various places. It’s going to be another difficult week.

So sorry. Our thoughts are with you.

[P&O SUE]

1 hour ago, Adawn47 said:

I'm so sorry to learn of your very sad news this morning Sue. My sincerest condolences to both you and your family. 

This will be a very busy and stressful time you at the moment, but please, please find the time take care of yourself too. It's so easy to let your own health and mental wellbeing fall by the wayside. I have been in the same situation as you are in now, not only dealing with all the arrangements, but also bringing Mum home to live with us and making sure she was comfortable and well.

Take care and stay strong Sue, we're all here for you as and when you need us. xx

Avril

Just a thought Sue. Won't John's firm allow him a little compassionate leave?

Thank you. John has had all last week off, he went back today but luckily it is his rota day off tomorrow. He doesn’t know if some of it will be unpaid though 🙄

Problem is we were told he had 24 hours and because it was a week he’s used up all his goodwill. We need the time to do all the official stuff though, so frustrating.

I should have been meeting a friend Tuesday but obviously I’ve had to cancel it. I’ll see her when John is around another day. We really can’t leave mum alone, she refuses to believe her limitations and will fall if we’re not there.

[Grandad John]

5 hours ago, P&O SUE said:

Morning all, I haven’t been around because I have some sad news. My lovely Dad passed away Wednesday 18th. He’d been a bit ‘off’ for a while then the Wednesday before my mum called an ambulance and he was taken in.

He was in a side ward in A&E and I spoke to him on his phone but he didn’t know if we could visit there and I couldn’t get through on the phone to A&E. He said he had pneumonia which I knew wasn’t good.

 

Of course I have to have Mum stay with me when Dad is not there. The next morning I heard her mobile ring at 4.45am and I dashed in her room and it was the hospital saying we should get there. Thankfully I just managed to catch John before he went to work. I contacted my sister and son and my sister set off from Worthing. About 2 hours away.

 

Anyway they both arrived and a very nice doctor explained because his heart was so weak they couldn’t do much but keep him comfortable and pain free.

 

After a couple of hours they moved him from a very noisy A&E to a side room in a cardiac ward. This was probably the best we’ve ever been treated by this hospital as we were allowed in the room all day any day and as many people as we liked. Mum, John our son and partner, my sister and brother in law and Dad’s brother were all regular visitors.

 

I’ll do another post….

Sue

More words will not help, and others have commented more eloquently than I might. The best advice I have seen is to use the Tell Us Once facility once you have the death certificate. I found that to be a great help after my wife died last year. I too found great solace in being with my wife holding her hand as she died knowing that is what she would have wanted. Take good care and make good use of a supportive family network.

[P&O SUE]

1 minute ago, Grandad John said:

Sue

More words will not help, and others have commented more eloquently than I might. The best advice I have seen is to use the Tell Us Once facility once you have the death certificate. I found that to be a great help after my wife died last year. I too found great solace in being with my wife holding her hand as she died knowing that is what she would have wanted. Take good care and make good use of a supportive family network.

Much appreciated John, I’m glad you found some comfort in your loss.

[Adawn47]

7 minutes ago, P&O SUE said:

I should have been meeting a friend Tuesday but obviously I’ve had to cancel it. I’ll see her when John is around another day. We really can’t leave mum alone, she refuses to believe her limitations and will fall if we’re not there.

I understand that Sue. My Mum had mini strokes and couldn't be left alone. 

When something like this hits you out of the blue it throws your orderly daily routine up in the air. After a few days of frustration I learned that the only way to navigate through it sanely, for me at least, was to not look at the whole picture and to deal with one issue at a time. You will get through this Sue, you'll find your own way, but as I said before do not neglect you own health in the process. 

Take care.xx

Avril

[mrsgoggins]

So sorry to read of your loss Sue and the challenges you face. It sounds like you have a good family so I hope you are able to get all the support you need in addition to your mother. 

[Eddie99]

Just a thought Sue.  It might be worth looking at taxis, just to get things done and to take a little off John’s shoulders?  Or maybe Rotary or similar can organise lifts from volunteers?

As everyone has said, look after yourself.  Know when it’s time to ensure a little “me time”

This, like all things, will pass x

[kalos]

I'm sure Johns employer will be there for him as well at this stressful time .

Regardless of when he last had a holiday ,no one could foresee sad events

like this.

Our company were great and we were entitled to two days paid leave and 

other days without pay until we felt up to it.

I'm sure Johns manager will want to help where he can.

As our manager used to say " We all need support at sometime, just keep us informed ."

[yorkshirephil]

6 hours ago, P&O SUE said:

Morning all, I haven’t been around because I have some sad news. My lovely Dad passed away Wednesday 18th. He’d been a bit ‘off’ for a while then the Wednesday before my mum called an ambulance and he was taken in.

He was in a side ward in A&E and I spoke to him on his phone but he didn’t know if we could visit there and I couldn’t get through on the phone to A&E. He said he had pneumonia which I knew wasn’t good.

 

Of course I have to have Mum stay with me when Dad is not there. The next morning I heard her mobile ring at 4.45am and I dashed in her room and it was the hospital saying we should get there. Thankfully I just managed to catch John before he went to work. I contacted my sister and son and my sister set off from Worthing. About 2 hours away.

 

Anyway they both arrived and a very nice doctor explained because his heart was so weak they couldn’t do much but keep him comfortable and pain free.

 

After a couple of hours they moved him from a very noisy A&E to a side room in a cardiac ward. This was probably the best we’ve ever been treated by this hospital as we were allowed in the room all day any day and as many people as we liked. Mum, John our son and partner, my sister and brother in law and Dad’s brother were all regular visitors.

 

I’ll do another post….

So sorry to hear you have lost your dad Sue, deepest condolences to you and your family 

[indiana123]

So sorry too hear your sad news Sue.

 

Thinking of you and your family. You have a good supportive family and also all of us  virtual but good friends.

 

Please also take care of yourself x

[grapau27]

6 hours ago, P&O SUE said:

Morning all, I haven’t been around because I have some sad news. My lovely Dad passed away Wednesday 18th. He’d been a bit ‘off’ for a while then the Wednesday before my mum called an ambulance and he was taken in.

He was in a side ward in A&E and I spoke to him on his phone but he didn’t know if we could visit there and I couldn’t get through on the phone to A&E. He said he had pneumonia which I knew wasn’t good.

 

Of course I have to have Mum stay with me when Dad is not there. The next morning I heard her mobile ring at 4.45am and I dashed in her room and it was the hospital saying we should get there. Thankfully I just managed to catch John before he went to work. I contacted my sister and son and my sister set off from Worthing. About 2 hours away.

 

Anyway they both arrived and a very nice doctor explained because his heart was so weak they couldn’t do much but keep him comfortable and pain free.

 

After a couple of hours they moved him from a very noisy A&E to a side room in a cardiac ward. This was probably the best we’ve ever been treated by this hospital as we were allowed in the room all day any day and as many people as we liked. Mum, John our son and partner, my sister and brother in law and Dad’s brother were all regular visitors.

 

I’ll do another post….

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news Sue.

Wednesday 18th was also Pauline's dear late mam's 5th memory.

Condolences to you all.

Graham.

[Peanut006]

Really sorry to hear your sad news Sue, condolences to you all

 

Michelle

[lindyloo22]

So sorry to hear your sad news condolence’s to you all, make sure you take care of yourself.

[Ardennais]

So sorry Sue to hear your sad news. I lost my father earlier this year, and although my mother is doing well and very independent, it’s been a really difficult time. We printed our own leaflets for the funeral and decided to include as many photos as possible which showed my father at different stages of his life. It gave us all something to do during the first few days after his passing and we laughed and cried a lot! 
 

The Tell Us Once service is worth doing, and another tip which we were given was to get a few more copies of the death certificate. Many establishments like banks require an original copy, so it was worth getting 6 I think. 
 

Your mother I know is already a great-grandmother and my mother became a great-grandmother a few weeks after my father’s death. This has been a blessing and I’m sure that your multi-generation family will help your mother through the difficult times ahead. Look after yourself too! 

[pete14]

So sorry to hear of your loss Sue. Condolences to you and your family. 

[Jennizor]

So sorry to read your sad news Sue. Your family and all your wonderful memories will bring you comfort I’m sure. 
 

Jennizor.