dining with others

[ontheweb]

It has been quite awhile since we cruised on NCL (August 2012 on the Epic in the Western Mediterranean). Now we have a cruise booked for August 2023 on the not yet built Prima from London (Southampton) to Reykjavik.

 

On the first night of that Epic cruise, we were asked when we checked in at a dining room whether we wanted a table for 2 or to eat with others. We like meeting and interacting with fellow passengers, so we opted for a larger table. And then we waited, and we waited, and we waited. And finally when it became obvious that no one else wanted to meet and dine with others, we said we would go for the table for 2.

 

Now I had always thought that was partly because the Epic was so large. On the whole I would characterize that cruise as the unfriendliest we were ever on. But, I did also remember reading many posts before the cruise on the cc NCL boards where NCL posters basically said "why would I ever want to eat with other passengers?".

 

Through thread drift, the topic of do NCL passengers not want to eat with others came up on a thread in Ask a Cruise Question on the topic of what cruise line would you want to try. There was at least one poster who said she had always found this true on NCL ships. Another who did not find this problem on a smaller NCL ship. And I was not sure if it was just the overly large size of the Epic, or maybe just that particular sailing or maybe it was an overall attitude of NCL cruisers.

 

I thought that the NCL boards would be a good place to ask if NCL cruisers in general want to dine with and meet other passsengers or do they in general wish to eat alone. So, please share your opinions.

Edited November 12, 2021 by ontheweb
spelling correction

[roger001]

My wife and I wish to always eat alone.  Nothing personal about other guests, but just time for the two of us.  

[HuliHuli]

26 minutes ago, ontheweb said:

It has been quite awhile since we cruised on NCL (August 2012 on the Epic in the Western Mediterranean). Now we have a cruise booked for August 2023 on the not yet built Prima from London (Southampton) to Reykjavik.

 

On the first night of that Epic cruise, we were asked when we checked in at a dining room whether we wanted a table for 2 or to eat with others. We like meeting and interacting with fellow passengers, so we opted for a larger table. And then we waited, and we waited, and we waited. And finally when it became obvious that no one else wanted to meet and dine with others, we said we would go for the table for 2.

 

Now I had always thought that was partly because the Epic was so large. On the whole I would characterize that cruise as the unfriendliest we were ever on. But, I did also remember reading many posts before the cruise on the cc NCL boards where NCL posters basically said "why would I ever want to eat with other passengers?".

 

Through thread drift, the topic of do NCL passengers not want to eat with others came up on a thread in Ask a Cruise Question on the topic of what cruise line would you want to try. There was at least one poster who said she had always found this true on NCL ships. Another who did not find this problem on a smaller NCL ship. And I was not sure if it was just the overly large size of the Epic, or maybe just that particular sailing or maybe it was an overall attitude of NCL cruisers.

 

I thought that the NCL boards would be a good place to ask if NCL cruisers in general want to dine with and meet other passengers or do they in general wish to eat alone. So, please share your opinions.

It's entirely anecdotal @ontheweb, but on our first Windstar cruise (small yachts/ships) in July the vibe was quite different toward people eating together.  You may be on to something regarding ship size or prevailing culture of a given line.

[G-DawgMN]

 My wife and I personally prefer to eat alone for dinner, but that's our personal preference. We enjoy NCL because that's never an issue. We are rarely asked if we want to be seated with other people, it's been several years. Of course now with COVID they're not asking it at all (at least were weren't asked on the Bliss).

 

[suometar]

My husband and I never wanted to cruise because we had no interest in regimented, set-time dining with strangers  and formal, dress-up nonsense. It wasn't until NCL and it's free style format that we really got into cruising. We were asked once on an early cruise whether we wanted to dine with others but we declined. I suspect that 

(BTW ontheweb,  ( my husband grew up in Monticello.)

[cassie55]

We also prefer to eat alone. We have hectic lives and (pre-covid) I travelled frequently on business so we like to spend quality time together on holiday.  

[SeaShark]

I don't think it has anything to do with NCL or with the size of the ship. People like eating with people they know...friends, family, significant other...much more than they like eating with strangers.

 

Remember on the other lines people are forced to sit with others...NCL does not do that. NCL treats dining just like it is treated outside the cruise world.

 

Think about all of the restaurants around your home. How many of them ask if you want to eat with strangers? What to you think would happen in a local restaurant if you just "joined" people at their table?

 

I think that if cruise world dining (set times, dress code, eat with strangers, same wait staff every time) as all that popular, SOMEBODY would open a land-based restaurant offering these features. Yet there are none.

[kitty-sail]

When NCL first introduced "free style dining" back in 2000, there were a few bugs that needed to be worked out. 

      Problem 1 - Since you were no longer forced into a specified dining time, NCL staff had trouble handling the flow of people. NCL found that most people preferred to dine between 6 and 7:30 so there were long lines waiting for an open table at these times, as well as some very unhappy guests. 

      Problem 2 - When assigned dining times were in affect, the staff was accustomed  to serving tables of 6 or 8. Once NCL removed the assigned dining times, they found that many people come to dinner as a couple rather than a group of 6 or 8.

     NCL Solution 1 - At one point NCL began handing out buzzers so people waiting for an open table could wander off to the bar and have a drink instead of standing in line getting anxious and upset. This at least made the situation a little more tolerable.

     NCL Solution 2 - The dining room was setup for groups of 6-8. Since a lot of diners were couples, NCL began asking if you wanted to join another couple or two as they tried to fill up as many tables as possible because the room just wasn't equipped to accommodate a large quantity of couples only.

     We did this in 2001 on our cruise to Hawaii right after 9-11. We got to meet a couple from our neighborhood and shared tours with them which was fun. 

     NCL Solution 3 - Sharing a table was fun but sometimes one couple was not compatible with the other people at your table, leading to disagreements and unpleasantries.  NCL finally came to the understanding that they needed many more tables of 2 and that most couples preferred to eat alone. So now you see a vast quantity of tables for 2.

     NCL Solution 4 - To take some of the pressure off the Main Dining room, NCL opened 'specialty' dining restaurants. During assigned seating days, ships had 2 or 3 dining rooms plus the buffet to accommodate the entire ship in one or two seatings. Creating 'specialty' dining rooms allowed people to move around more and expand on the 'free style dining' concept.

     Of course, we all know that other cruise lines followed NCL's lead.  Now it seems to be the standard across all ships.

    

 

 

 

[tafawke]

I have cruised as solo many times and I love having dinner with others, solos, couples or families ... My next cruise will be with my husband and I know he will not want to mix with others at dinner (drinks in the bar are different) I am trying to explain how much fun it is but I am being met by a brick wall - this is his first ever cruise (officially labelled as our honeymoon as we married in the middle of the pandemic so I could move into Canada from South Korea where I was working as an expat). 

[Yesimapirate]

To be frank,  I don't like many people.   I have little patience for ignorant comments and I'm quick to judge people (though I'm almost always correct).  I don't want to eat with a stranger.  Hell, I try to book private tours (especially to historical sites) whenever possible.   

 

I'm happy to get to know someone over a drink where you aren't trapped together for so long and let it escalate from there.  Perhaps I'm a jerk and you're better off?  But it's definitely my preference. 

 

I find it very similar to dating (though I haven't done that for years).  I would meet a first date for coffee or a drink and not a dinner. 

[ziggyuk]

You will find most people would rather dine with their immediate group and not join strangers, I for one hate having to join strangers on other lines. While you enjoy it, your previous experience demonstrates most people put on a brave face and suffer it....... then, invariably spend the rest of the cruise hoping they don't bump into those people again for an obligatory catch up acting like old friends 😂

 

My advice is ask on your roll call and see if there are other like minded people who might like to join you for dining, having to stand at the entrance in the hope others turn up will be no fun.

[HuliHuli]

1 hour ago, SeaShark said:

I don't think it has anything to do with NCL or with the size of the ship. People like eating with people they know...friends, family, significant other...much more than they like eating with strangers.

This is why Windstar seems so much different - their clientele is heavily repeat customers that know each other from prior cruises.

[ontheweb]

OP back. First I would like to thank all of you who have replied and given their honest opinions. I appreciate that.

 

Although the sample size is too small to actually draw a definite conclusion, it does seem that NCL when it pioneered freestyle tended to attract passengers who did not wish to share tables, and that has continued.

 

The funny thing is that though I have in the past liked the various anytime dining options on other cruise lines and liked meeting strangers, I probably would feel different about that now. I would still like it, but my hearing is not too good these days and might feel embarassed when I did not hear conversations properly and either could not comment or made an inappropriate comment based on mishearing what was said to me. Also, I sometimes seem to be ignoring people when they speak to me when it is really I did not realize they spoke to me.

 

Again, thank you to all who replied. I was very interested in this.

[goldmom]

While we prefer a table for 2, there are times when we have struck up a conversation with someone at the table next to us, but still have a degree of privacy at our own table.  This seems to happen a lot in the Haven restaurant where you will often see the same people while dining.

Also, if you happen to meet people at the bar or sitting on deck you have the option of asking if they'd like to join you for dinner which is a nice benefit of free-style.

While my husband and I are not adverse to occasionally dining with others we opt for it more at lunch in the main dining room.  We've found that at lunch the waiters seem to take you order right away rather than waiting for the table to be filled.  We've had similar situations as the OP at dinner where we were waiting forever for other people to join us and it just wasn't worth the bother.

[ontheweb]

1 hour ago, suometar said:

My husband and I never wanted to cruise because we had no interest in regimented, set-time dining with strangers  and formal, dress-up nonsense. It wasn't until NCL and it's free style format that we really got into cruising. We were asked once on an early cruise whether we wanted to dine with others but we declined. I suspect that 

(BTW ontheweb,  ( my husband grew up in Monticello.)

I  was never into the formal dress part; DW was excited about it at the begining of our cruising. For our very first cruise (2002 for our 25th anniversary), she even bought a pattern and material and made a formal dress.

 

We have had very few cruises with set time dining as on our non-NCL cruises after our first few, we were able to do some form of anytime dining and always picked that.

 

If I may ask, what period of time did your husband grow up in Monticello, as I always have lived here. Just wondering if it is someone I might have known (small town).

[complawyer]

i'm with yesimapirate on this one. we  want a table with just the people with whom we are traveling.

 

i dont go in for small talk or polite conversation with people i dont know, and have absolutely no desire to sit with strangers.  

 

look up "terribly anti-social" in the dictionary and you'll probably see my picture

[ChiefMateJRK]

5 hours ago, ontheweb said:

On the whole I would characterize that cruise as the unfriendliest we were ever on.

 

5 hours ago, ontheweb said:

the topic of do NCL passengers not want to eat with others came up on a thread in Ask a Cruise Question on the topic of what cruise line would you want to try. There was at least one poster who said she had always found this true on NCL ships. Another who did not find this problem on a smaller NCL ship.

 

5 hours ago, ontheweb said:

maybe it was an overall attitude of NCL cruisers.

Why is this a "problem" and an "attitude?"  The fact that some prefer privacy and a peaceful meal with their own party does not constitute "unfriendly."  Most/all here would be happy to have a friendly interaction at a show/bar or on deck or in the observation lounge.  That doesn't extend to dinner for many/most.  The last thing I want to do is risk being trapped at the dinner table with somebody who talks constantly or asks probing personal questions.   We wouldn't know who we're getting until it's too late.  No thanks.  I'll smile and say hi, but you're not joining me for dinner unless I invite you.

[pbenjamin]

When we first cruised (Carnival) in 1996 we had our 2 sons with us.  We were seated with another couple who also had 2 boys.  It was a perfect relationship, we were encountering the same stuff, had someone we could relate to and the boys had instant friends.

 

On a 15 day Panama Canal cruise on Celebrity in 2002 they were still on the assigned table approach.  There was just the two of us.  We got to know the other 6 at our table.  One couple, from Ireland, hung out with us a bit at non-dinner times.  We kept in touch afterwards and our and a friend actually visited them at there home in Ireland a couple of years later.

 

Flash forward to 2017, a Cuban cruise on a smaller ship.  No assigned tables or times.  When we arrived at the MDR we were asked if we wanted to join others or get a table for two.  Since the previous experiences had been pleasant and useful we opted to join some others.  We ended up at a table where the other folks were downright obnoxious.  They were all from that same state and did a good job of fulfilling the negative stereotype of people from there.  From there on we asked for a table for two.  Kind of disappointing.  

[MoCruiseFan]

I want to eat when I want to eat and only with the people in my group.  If we did happen to meet folks (earlier on the cruise) and opted for meal together we would go as one group, but we would NEVER just randomly sit with whoever they chose to seat us with.

[coffeebean]

Hubby and I much prefer to dine by ourselves. As others have said, there is always other opportunities on board to meet people and socialize. If you really hit it off with strangers, then, by all means, make plans to dine together.

 

We cruised on other lines prior to them adopting NCL's Freestyle concept. I did not care to dine with strangers. One problem hubby and I came across was that the pace of the courses always was set by the slowest person at the table. There were times that we and all others at the table were finished with the course but there was one person either slowly eating their food or eating several selections for one course. I'm sure you have all been there. Well.......been there, done that and do not ever wish to do it again.

[ColeThornton]

My nightmare is having to sit with others and on the first night finding out it's some annoying Cruise Critic poster I put on my ignore list.  lol       🙂

[ChiefMateJRK]

9 minutes ago, ColeThornton said:

My nightmare is having to sit with others and on the first night finding out it's some annoying Cruise Critic poster I put on my ignore list.  lol       🙂

No worries @ColeThornton, I only sail NCL.  😎🐀

[ontheweb]

1 hour ago, ChiefMateJRK said:

 

 

Why is this a "problem" and an "attitude?"  The fact that some prefer privacy and a peaceful meal with their own party does not constitute "unfriendly."  Most/all here would be happy to have a friendly interaction at a show/bar or on deck or in the observation lounge.  That doesn't extend to dinner for many/most.  The last thing I want to do is risk being trapped at the dinner table with somebody who talks constantly or asks probing personal questions.   We wouldn't know who we're getting until it's too late.  No thanks.  I'll smile and say hi, but you're not joining me for dinner unless I invite you.

It was not just no one with sit with us at dinner that made me consider our cruise on the Epic the unfriendliest we have ever been on. Normally, (we have sailed on 4 different cruise lines with the Epic not being our only NCL cruise), we find lots of people friendly and acting like they are enjoying their vacation and do want to socialize. We just did not find that on that particular voyage on the Epic.

[IrishKathy]

I agree completely with ChiefMate.  My husband is perfectly willing to join others at various tastings, trivia games, shore excursions, etc., during the day, but NOT at dinner.   We enjoy spending time together at our table for two reminiscing about our days activities and going over our plans for the next day.  Forget the tables for six or eight.

[nolatravelgirl]

I think there is a big difference where in the past you were assigned a table and time where you were stuck with that table for the remainder of the cruise. I have cruised on some of the luxury lines where they will ask if you want to sit with others. That didn't mean you were stuck with that group for the whole cruise nor was it always huge tables. I have been seated with just one other couple or maybe a 6 top. It was interesting to meet other people and learn about their travels. These were also on longer cruises and it was fun to mix it up a bit.