Cabin Stewards Gifts

[Georgia_Peaches]

3 minutes ago, NutsAboutGolf said:

 

Wasn't calling out any individual, was a generalization.  It should be noted, as one can imagine this has been asked hundreds of times since the beginning of cruising.  Has always been thumbs up to cash and thumbs down to souvenirs

I appreciate that which is why I deleted my post. I have great respect for your opinion as well as @RichYak .  Collectively I believe a diverse set of opinions and experiences is part of what makes this forum so great!

 

[NutsAboutGolf]

1 minute ago, jbcallender said:

I saw a video from a staff member that emphasized that storage is so limited that a lot of things are useless.  We are from an NBA city, so we have brought Spurs t-shirts or Texas centric t-shirts, but after that video, I'm rethinking it.  We usually leave a healthy tip, too.

 

 

More than likely they probably only watch their home countries soccer team.  Even if someone gets a team they like, will they buy the correct T-Shirt size and will it be the fit they like (rhetorical)?

[Laurab23]

I was on a cruise and told the bartender I would be back on the ship when they would still be there. I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to bring her the next time. First she said no,nothing but then she said chocolate. That she really loved chocolate.  So I brought her a large bag of assorted chocolates the next time I cruised with her. I always ask crew if there is anything they need from the ports we dock at if they are not going ashore. A lot of them would rather sleep than go ashore even if they are allowed to.

 

Laura

[NutsAboutGolf]

11 minutes ago, Laurab23 said:

I was on a cruise and told the bartender I would be back on the ship when they would still be there. I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to bring her the next time. First she said no,nothing but then she said chocolate. That she really loved chocolate.  So I brought her a large bag of assorted chocolates the next time I cruised with her. I always ask crew if there is anything they need from the ports we dock at if they are not going ashore. A lot of them would rather sleep than go ashore even if they are allowed to.

 

Laura

 

The issue there and most likely the reason they said no/nothing at first is they simply can't answer "no, I don't want anything, just give me cash!!!".  They have no problem acquiring chocolate although to be fair, it may not be free for them and it may not be a specific brand they want

 

With sleep vs going to shore, they have a system in place where one person picks up items for everyone else.  In some ports, you can have things affordably delivered to the terminal.  On most cruise lines including X, not only is there no free-wifi, they cannot buy unlimited wi-fi.  So even though they're tired, if the terminal area or a crew spot has relatively good free wi-fi, they'll most likely want to get off to check on things back home with wifi that's faster than on the ship

[bEwAbG]

Take the money you would use to buy whatever and give them the cash.  They can buy their own candy and trinkets if they want them.  Even if you're thinking "oh, I'll give them both!" just give them the money.  That's why they're on the ship working long hours away from their families.

[PTC DAWG]

CASH is King

[buchhalm]

On 1/31/2023 at 11:48 AM, natshala said:

This. Some people treat crew as if they’re pets or little children. They are adult professionals. Be positive and kind but not condescending.

Ouch.

Im sure the OP did not mean to be condescending. 👎

[shellunderwater]

Cash.  Offer to pick up in Port if they need something.  I expect they will say no, but I believe it is a polite offer to help them.

 

Best non-cash gift... we put a sign on the cabin door stating the cabin attendant shouldn't touch our cabin on christmas day.  Did a sign so they don't get in trouble if someone inspected the cabin.

[KellyCz]

On 1/30/2023 at 6:36 PM, mom says said:

The best gifts are courtesy, a positive comment card delivered to Guest Relations, and/or an extra tip at the end of your cruise.

We always do the first and last things you mentioned. Will start doing the second as well!

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

On 1/30/2023 at 7:52 PM, Northern Aurora said:

The best gift is an extra tip.

 

While the extra tip is nice in the moment, a positive mention BY NAME on a comment card, directly to guest services, and/or a follow-up letter it the BEST gift because it will ultimately mean more because THAT can lead to a promotion which will lead to more money long-term, not just a one time thing.

[Cruzinforpeace***]

23 hours ago, Georgia_Peaches said:

Op I say you do whatever makes you feel good. You certainly don’t need permission or approval from anyone here. If you offer a sweet or something from home that ends up in the trash or more likely, up for grabs among fellow crew, then so be it. You’ll never know but you’ll have the endorphins associated with doing something nice and your steward will be touched that you thought of them. Having said that, a cash tip at the end will go a long way to help line the wallet of a deserving professional as they eek out a living like the rest of us. 
 

As a retired middle school principal, I can’t tell you how many gifts I’ve received over the years from students, parents, and teachers. I was a professional and certainly nobody’s pet. Did I want/need all those goodies and trinkets?  Lord knows I didn’t. But I was touched by the thought as any gracious and appreciative person would be.  The things I didn’t keep went to our church and local retirement home. Nothing ever went to waste, I can tell you that!  Perhaps your gift is just the thing your steward can’t wait to send off to a family member back home. Bottom line… you just don’t know. An act of kindness in the form of giving should never be discouraged. Do what’s in your heart. 

I totally agree with your response!  I give cash AND usually bring something small and encouraging to give to various crew members as I’m led (along with the cash).  I brought silicone bracelets with uplifting scriptures printed on them as well as some homemade bookmarks with encouraging sayings and scriptures on my last cruise in November.  I gave one to one of the crew members in the spa and she started to cry.  She said that it was just what she needed!  I can say having worked on ships that one can get very lonely and sad on those long contracts.  They are paid to smile and make your vacation fantastic even when they maybe don’t feel so happy. They have to be “on” every day for usually 7 days a week 9 months at a time.  I know I would have been very touched receiving a gift from a passenger if I felt it was from the heart.  I think that’s the key; the intention of the gift.  

[Pinboy]

I posted this recently on another thread-- seems appropriate here as well:

" I always write a note of praise regarding our Room Steward, Waiter , Asst Waiter  ,and any other Staff member (public washroom Attendant as an example )that we want to recognize for their excellent service --- and hand it in at Guest Relations a day or two before the end of the cruise.

By the next day most will have been informed , thank us , and tell us how important it is for their career advancement.

We always tip these employees over and above the Daily Gratuities ----  it makes for a nice ending to our cruise ".

[Jim_Iain]

We generally just tip at end of the cruise.   Right after resumption of cruising when the staff were not permitted off the ship we would usually ask our room attendant, butler, waitstaff etc if they needed anything we could pick up for them.    We got some strange request but always picked it up for them.  

 

Some of the stranger requests -

 

From a Bartender in Retreat -   Canned Sardines

 

Waiter-   Tie Clasp -  he lost his and said he really needed one

 

Waiter -   Deodorant and shaving cream

 

Assistant Waiter -  KitKat's -   We got a huge bag and left some for he and the waiter every night.   It became a fun tradition -  The waiter said he had to cut it out as he was putting on weight and was getting married at end of his contract.

[NutsAboutGolf]

46 minutes ago, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

I totally agree with your response!  I give cash AND usually bring something small and encouraging to give to various crew members as I’m led (along with the cash).  I brought silicone bracelets with uplifting scriptures printed on them as well as some homemade bookmarks with encouraging sayings and scriptures on my last cruise in November.  I gave one to one of the crew members in the spa and she started to cry.  She said that it was just what she needed!  I can say having worked on ships that one can get very lonely and sad on those long contracts.  They are paid to smile and make your vacation fantastic even when they maybe don’t feel so happy. They have to be “on” every day for usually 7 days a week 9 months at a time.  I know I would have been very touched receiving a gift from a passenger if I felt it was from the heart.  I think that’s the key; the intention of the gift.  

 

Religious scriptures?  Religion and politics are definitely slippery slopes since the crew could be from anywhere and not share the givers point of view.  I'm glad it worked out for you, with my luck I'd probably offend someone 😅

[sbcs5390]

I usually give my first gift when we speak on day one - I give the steward the mornings off! They are really appreciative. Other than that, I've asked if they need anything from stores but usually it's just cash at the end. 

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

9 hours ago, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

uplifting scriptures printed on them as well as some homemade bookmarks with encouraging sayings and scriptures

 

Ooh... PLEASE be very cautious with using scripture. MANY of the crew are not Christian.

 

Encouraging phrases, sure. But make them secular to respect all faiths.

[Cruzinforpeace***]

9 hours ago, NutsAboutGolf said:

 

Religious scriptures?  Religion and politics are definitely slippery slopes since the crew could be from anywhere and not share the givers point of view.  I'm glad it worked out for you, with my luck I'd probably offend someone 😅

I don’t worry about offending anyone with something positive.  I handed them to my Hindu waiters and they were very touched.  We  had very mature discussions about each other’s faiths and the “meaning of life”.  No one was offended.  We’re all humans.

 

[Cruzinforpeace***]

1 hour ago, WrittenOnYourHeart said:

 

Ooh... PLEASE be very cautious with using scripture. MANY of the crew are not Christian.

 

Encouraging phrases, sure. But make them secular to respect all faiths.

I respect everyone.  We are all human.  Love is universal.

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

58 minutes ago, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

I respect everyone.  We are all human.  Love is universal.

BUT for many who are not Christian, giving them Christian scriptures is not showing respect of other faiths. It's pushing yours on them.

 

Better to stick with secular encouraging sayings for true respect. There are plenty of those.

[prmssk]

1 hour ago, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

I don’t worry about offending anyone with something positive.  I handed them to my Hindu waiters and they were very touched.  We  had very mature discussions about each other’s faiths and the “meaning of life”.  No one was offended.  We’re all humans.

 

Giving people who don't share your religion something religious isn't necessarily positive for the person you are giving it to.  And crew are way too polite and depend on tips/survey responses such that they aren't going to tell you if they are offended or uncomfortable.

[Cruzinforpeace***]

16 minutes ago, WrittenOnYourHeart said:

BUT for many who are not Christian, giving them Christian scriptures is not showing respect of other faiths. It's pushing yours on them.

 

Better to stick with secular encouraging sayings for true respect. There are plenty of those.

That’s your opinion.  I’m going to keep handing them out as I’m led.  Have a great day!😀

[Cruzinforpeace***]

11 minutes ago, prmssk said:

Giving people who don't share your religion something religious isn't necessarily positive for the person you are giving it to.  And crew are way too polite and depend on tips/survey responses such that they aren't going to tell you if they are offended or uncomfortable.

You know that for sure?  It hasn’t been my experience and I’ve been doing it for years.  

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

Just now, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

That’s your opinion.  I’m going to keep handing them out as I’m led.  Have a great day!😀

 

Things like handing out scripture to people who don't share it is why Chritsianity has a bad name for so many people. If you KNOW they are Christian, sure. Share scripture. But if you know they aren't, there are plenty of secular phrases that work just as well. 

 

Think about how you'd feel if you were in a position where you were serving people of another faith and you had to be happy with whatever they said or gave you and they were foisting their beliefs on you. It's not fun or helpful. (Honestly, even being mainstream and much more open than evangelicals makes dealing with them difficult. I totally block out my para when she starts going off about spirits because it's just NOT comfortable. No matter what she thinks or how helpful she thinks she's being. It's honestly just creating resentment.)

 

[WrittenOnYourHeart]

4 minutes ago, Cruzinforpeace*** said:

You know that for sure?  It hasn’t been my experience and I’ve been doing it for years.  

 

You've had crew members express displeausre at something? I doubt it. They depend on tips and positive comments. If they indicate they aren't happy or comfortable with a guest, the guest is likely to go whine at Guest Services about it. They aren't going to tell you it's offensive - but they will vent with their friends when they're not serving you. 

 

My sister works on another cruiseline and has many friends and colleagues who are not Christian and they DO complain behind the scenes about religion being foisted on them. Even while smiling and seeming happy to the guests' faces.

[Jeremiah1212]

Money. Gifts, t-shirt’s from home, religious stuff, candy…all super awkward and a bit tone deaf IMO. These people are paid to please and act appreciative. They aren’t your friends. They aren’t going to call you out on a strange gift before it goes into the trash. 
 

This thread gets even more strange. Virtue signaling is not a gift. Money is! 

Edited February 2, 2023 by Jeremiah1212