Kids on their own on the boat - 10 yr old

[cruisequeen4ever]

I sure wouldn’t! Even though I always feel much safer at sea than I do on land, what people have described being at sea to be like is a great analogy. They say that a cruise ship is a microcosm of society, so think of a city, having X number of criminals, and then use proportion to figure out that there must be at least some onboard a cruise ship, too. Best to keep your pride and joy in the kids club, safe and sound, or with you, safe and sound. 

[Jerseygirl1416]

40 minutes ago, mjkacmom said:

Well, never had an issue and my kids rode bikes all over town at 10. I don’t know how many children you’ve raised, but I’ve gotten 5 into their 20’s and they’re fantastic traveler’s, and learned independence and situational awareness at a young age. The term helicopter parent wasn’t around when I was growing up.

You are extremely lucky you never had an issue. I’m sure there’s a lot of parents out there that wish they had a due over. There’s a big difference between 13-17 year olds and 3-12 year olds. Kids can learn independence and situational awareness at older ages when they’re more prepared to deal with the consequences of their mistakes. The idea that your kids will only grow up to be independent and confident adults is if you allow them free range at young ages is ridiculous. 

[BND]

1 hour ago, mjkacmom said:

Well, never had an issue and my kids rode bikes all over town at 10. I don’t know how many children you’ve raised, but I’ve gotten 5 into their 20’s and they’re fantastic traveler’s, and learned independence and situational awareness at a young age. The term helicopter parent wasn’t around when I was growing up.

I raised two completely independent, happily married successful sons that we see every couple of weeks.  They were gradually given freedom and responsibility for their age.  As for what I posted, did you READ where I said "child development"?    Kids do not think and reason the same way as adults do.  It's a fact.  

Edited August 15, 2023 by BND

[GTO-Girl]

1 hour ago, mjkacmom said:

Well, never had an issue and my kids rode bikes all over town at 10. I don’t know how many children you’ve raised, but I’ve gotten 5 into their 20’s and they’re fantastic traveler’s, and learned independence and situational awareness at a young age. The term helicopter parent wasn’t around when I was growing up.

The world is not the same as it was when your 20yr olds were young.  Social media has changed a lot of things for the good and a tremendous amount of things for the bad.   

[mjkacmom]

36 minutes ago, GTO-Girl said:

The world is not the same as it was when your 20yr olds were young.  Social media has changed a lot of things for the good and a tremendous amount of things for the bad.   

Actually things are statistically safer, it’s the 24/7 media that skews our perception. I’ve lived in the same town my entire life, my kids attended the same schools we did, and were raised as we were (except they didn’t walk to school until 2nd grade).

[HappyTexan44]

I have an extremely responsible 13-year-old who is pretty free-range.   It wasn't her I was worried about, it was all those people. I assume that anytime there is a large # of people, guaranteed some will be sickos.  So, for us, I invited one of her friends to come along.  DD would be joined at the hip to the friend unless they were in the cabin or with us.  

 

An online friend of mine from another forum, her daughter was targeted by a sicko on Royal earlier this year.   I don't remember if she mentioned it here or not.  A crew member asked her preteen's phone number and then followed her back to the cabin.   The preteen locked herself in the cabin, and then the crew member then pounded on the adjoining door and pretended like that cabin had asked for maintenance.  Fortunately her dad was napping in there.  

 

[BND]

8 minutes ago, HappyTexan44 said:

I have an extremely responsible 13-year-old who is pretty free-range.   It wasn't her I was worried about, it was all those people. I assume that anytime there is a large # of people, guaranteed some will be sickos.  So, for us, I invited one of her friends to come along.  DD would be joined at the hip to the friend unless they were in the cabin or with us.  

 

An online friend of mine from another forum, her daughter was targeted by a sicko on Royal earlier this year.   I don't remember if she mentioned it here or not.  A crew member asked her preteen's phone number and then followed her back to the cabin.   The preteen locked herself in the cabin, and then the crew member then pounded on the adjoining door and pretended like that cabin had asked for maintenance.  Fortunately her dad was napping in there.  

 

And, that is the issue in a nutshell.  As I said earlier in this thread, people treat a cruise like Disneyworld and assume (incorrectly) that nothing bad can happen either place.  But, it does.  

[reallyitsmema]

15 minutes ago, HappyTexan44 said:

I have an extremely responsible 13-year-old who is pretty free-range.   It wasn't her I was worried about, it was all those people. I assume that anytime there is a large # of people, guaranteed some will be sickos.  So, for us, I invited one of her friends to come along.  DD would be joined at the hip to the friend unless they were in the cabin or with us.  

 

An online friend of mine from another forum, her daughter was targeted by a sicko on Royal earlier this year.   I don't remember if she mentioned it here or not.  A crew member asked her preteen's phone number and then followed her back to the cabin.   The preteen locked herself in the cabin, and then the crew member then pounded on the adjoining door and pretended like that cabin had asked for maintenance.  Fortunately her dad was napping in there.  

 

 

This story still doesn't make sense as there are cameras everywhere and only certain crew are allowed in the cabin corridors.  Anyone coming to the cabins for maintenance is in blue coveralls, carrying a bag or bucket of tools.  If they can't fix it or is more than they are allowed to fix, someone from engineering comes to the cabin.  They are in white coveralls, typically with a tool chest on wheels.  They typically will leave the door open so you are never alone with them or they come in pairs, with one staying at the open door unless needed to help the other.  Any crew member seen in an area they don't below is subject to discipline or termination.

[Tatka]

4 hours ago, BND said:

Just because there is no law doesn't make it right or smart.  I remember reading about child development when I was in college.  The statement that stood out to me most was that children under age 10 have zero idea of what can happen and can't make the same judgment calls as older children.  They do not think like adults no matter how "mature" you think they are.   The other thing that was pointed out was that for example, when a younger child rides their bike they have no clue what can happen to them in the street.  Their concepts are based in mostly a fantasy type life.  As in, you get hit by a car, you pop right back up and are fine, like in a lot of cartoons.

 

Is this a serious assessment?!?!

 

 

[mjkacmom]

31 minutes ago, BND said:

And, that is the issue in a nutshell.  As I said earlier in this thread, people treat a cruise like Disneyworld and assume (incorrectly) that nothing bad can happen either place.  But, it does.  

Why would Disney world be any softer than on a cruise? There are way more people, and escape after the fact is much, much easier. Folks should always have their guard up, and trust their instincts. My kids were taught what to do in different situations, including running and screaming. I can’t think of many places on cruise ships where one would be alone.

[Tatka]

3 hours ago, Jerseygirl1416 said:

You are extremely lucky you never had an issue. I’m sure there’s a lot of parents out there that wish they had a due over. There’s a big difference between 13-17 year olds and 3-12 year olds. Kids can learn independence and situational awareness at older ages when they’re more prepared to deal with the consequences of their mistakes. The idea that your kids will only grow up to be independent and confident adults is if you allow them free range at young ages is ridiculous. 

 

I am not sure how 3-12 are lumped in the same group.

 

IMHO 10 is much close to 13 than to 3-7.

[BND]

5 minutes ago, mjkacmom said:

Why would Disney world be any softer than on a cruise? There are way more people, and escape after the fact is much, much easier. Folks should always have their guard up, and trust their instincts. My kids were taught what to do in different situations, including running and screaming. I can’t think of many places on cruise ships where one would be alone.

Huh?  What exactly did you think you read in my post?  Please, show me where I said people don't need to have their guard up?  

[BND]

15 minutes ago, Tatka said:

 

Is this a serious assessment?!?!

 

 

I know you're attempting to defend your stance, but what about my statement is an issue for you?  Kids are not adults.

Edited August 15, 2023 by BND

[mjkacmom]

2 minutes ago, BND said:

Huh?  What exactly did you think you read in my post?  Please, show me where I said people don't need to have their guard up?  

You said people treat cruises like Disney world, implying they shouldn’t treat cruises like Disney world.

[Tatka]

22 minutes ago, BND said:

Have you taken any child development classes?

 

I remember myself at this age, kids around me. I raised kids and watching kids around me.

 

I can absolutely confirm that unless child is severely neglected or has developmental delays at 10 he or she can assess many things.

 

For example what may happen if she/he

 

• crosses a street without looking
• walks with a stranger
• plays with a matches

etc, etc, etc

 

Of course if parents treat 8-9 yo as 3-4 years old this may never happen.

 

Then people are surprised older teens behaving as if they were young kids. Why would they behave differently if they are treated as if young kids for so long?

 

As I already described in this thread and with a picture in my country we mostly lived in midrises (5-16 floors). Most if not all apartments had balconies. We did not have rules about when kids can be home alone so majority of kids if they were not signed for afterschool program just walked home and spent time alone doing homework, attending activities in various places (sometimes taking public transportation) since they were 7 years old. Kids were not falling from balconies.

 

Btw we did not have micriowaves till late 80-s (and then only some people) so many kids warmed prepared food in gas or electric stoves. (I do not remember fires or explosions of gas)

 

When I was 6, I and my friends were walking several blocks for baby food provided by city (for all kids) for our baby siblings. It involved crossing one large road. It was late 70-es. It was pretty common practice and everything worked fine.

 

Families mostly had 1-2 kids sometimes 3 so it is not like we were replaceable and our parents did not care if we would die.

 

I am describing very late 70-s and 80-s.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Tatka

[HappyTexan44]

1 hour ago, reallyitsmema said:

 

This story still doesn't make sense as there are cameras everywhere and only certain crew are allowed in the cabin corridors.  Anyone coming to the cabins for maintenance is in blue coveralls, carrying a bag or bucket of tools.  If they can't fix it or is more than they are allowed to fix, someone from engineering comes to the cabin.  They are in white coveralls, typically with a tool chest on wheels.  They typically will leave the door open so you are never alone with them or they come in pairs, with one staying at the open door unless needed to help the other.  Any crew member seen in an area they don't below is subject to discipline or termination.

 

This person wasn't genuinely maintenance.  He was obviously hoping that the adjoining cabin was empty in order to try to get access to the pre-teen through the connecting door.  When someone answered he just said something to cover for why he was pounding on the door.  Either that was the first time that crew went into the cabin areas, or it just wasn't noticed on the cameras.  There are a lot of cameras and isn't like each one has one person watching that camera.  The person watching the feeds will be looking for particular things, not a crew member in the wrong area.  

I don't blame Royal.   They claimed that they took care of the problem, and that the family wouldn't be seeing that person again, and they didn't.  But, knowing that the criminal would be easily identified because of the cameras, doesn't help the victim.  

ETA:  I told my family about this, and we brainstormed what to do.   
The girl had trouble sleeping for the rest of the cruise because she was scared he'd come in at night since he knew their cabin.  
 

 

 

Edited August 15, 2023 by HappyTexan44

[reallyitsmema]

7 minutes ago, HappyTexan44 said:

 

This person wasn't genuinely maintenance.  He was obviously hoping that the adjoining cabin was empty in order to try to get access to the pre-teen through the connecting door.  When someone answered he just said something to cover for why he was pounding on the door.  Either that was the first time that crew went into the cabin areas, or it just wasn't noticed on the cameras.  There are a lot of cameras and isn't like each one has one person watching that camera.  The person watching the feeds will be looking for particular things, not a crew member in the wrong area.  

I don't blame Royal.   They claimed that they took care of the problem, and that the family wouldn't be seeing that person again, and they didn't.  But, knowing that the criminal would be easily identified because of the cameras, doesn't help the victim.  

 

 

 

 

One of the things a person reviewing the feeds is to make sure crew are following rules and are not in an area they do not work in or have permission to be in.  Crew need to get permission to enter areas they are not allowed in.  Not all cabins have connecting doors either and there is no way of knowing if the cabin is connecting by just looking at the doors to the corridor.

 

Your online "friend's" story has lots of holes in it.  If it is in fact true, the employee was likely fired.  I hope the child is fine and the family used this as a teaching experience.  

[LobsterStalker]

1 hour ago, Tatka said:

 

I remember myself at this age, kids around me. I raised kids and watching kids around me.

 

I can absolutely confirm that unless child is severely neglected or has developmental delays at 10 he or she can assess many things.

 

For example what may happen if she/he

 

• crosses a street without looking
• walks with a stranger
• plays with a matches

etc, etc, etc

 

Of course if parents treat 8-9 yo as 3-4 years old this may never happen.

 

Then people are surprised older teens behaving as if they were young kids. Why would they behave differently if they are treated as if young kids for so long?

 

As I already described in this thread and with a picture in my country we mostly lived in midrises (5-16 floors). Most if not all apartments had balconies. We did not have rules about when kids can be home alone so majority of kids if they were not signed for afterschool program just walked home and spent time alone doing homework, attending activities in various places (sometimes taking public transportation) since they were 7 years old. Kids were not falling from balconies.

 

Btw we did not have micriowaves till late 80-s (and then only some people) so many kids warmed prepared food in gas or electric stoves. (I do not remember fires or explosions of gas)

 

When I was 6, I and my friends were walking several blocks for baby food provided by city (for all kids) for our baby siblings. It involved crossing one large road. It was late 70-es. It was pretty common practice and everything worked fine.

 

Families mostly had 1-2 kids sometimes 3 so it is not like we were replaceable and our parents did not care if we would die.

 

I am describing very late 70-s and 80-s.

Ever watch any hidden camera documentary type shows where they run real experiments with strangers interacting with kids while parents watch . Many times parents ( Like many on this board ) who thought their kids were so responsible and "savvy" are shocked to see just how easy it was to lure these kids with things like "Can you help me find my cute little lost puppy ?"

>>>But that could never be the case for anyone's kids here ... Right ?

 

[BND]

56 minutes ago, LobsterStalker said:

Ever watch any hidden camera documentary type shows where they run real experiments with strangers interacting with kids while parents watch . Many times parents ( Like many on this board ) who thought their kids were so responsible and "savvy" are shocked to see just how easy it was to lure these kids with things like "Can you help me find my cute little lost puppy ?"

>>>But that could never be the case for anyone's kids here ... Right ?

 

I was thinking the same thing earlier.  It's very eye opening for the parents who thought their kids knew better.  Kids are kids.  Maturity comes with age.  Are some more irresponsible and less mature for their age?  Yes.  But more mature than most of their peers, not really.

[GTO-Girl]

5 hours ago, mjkacmom said:

Actually things are statistically safer, it’s the 24/7 media that skews our perception. I’ve lived in the same town my entire life, my kids attended the same schools we did, and were raised as we were (except they didn’t walk to school until 2nd grade).

We too have lived in the same town all our life but I have to disagree with you about how safe things are now.  
 

Yes the media does skews things but my husband is retired law enforcement and I can assure you things are NOT safer today and sadly are progressively getting worse.

 

But maybe not where you live…..and if not you are truly lucky….

[Tatka]

3 hours ago, LobsterStalker said:

Ever watch any hidden camera documentary type shows where they run real experiments with strangers interacting with kids while parents watch . Many times parents ( Like many on this board ) who thought their kids were so responsible and "savvy" are shocked to see just how easy it was to lure these kids with things like "Can you help me find my cute little lost puppy ?"

>>>But that could never be the case for anyone's kids here ... Right ?

 

I described you real life where million kids lived like this daily and there was no mass abductions of children.

You are taught and you practice daily. It becomes your rule.
Of course everything may happen, but you cannot live overprotected life.

Overprotected 10 years old may easily get into difficult situation due to lacking skills of being independent.

[mjkacmom]

https://www.newsweek.com/majority-americans-mistakenly-believe-violent-crime-worse-now-30-years-ago-poll-1641967#:~:text=The FBI data found that,they were three decades ago.