Kids on their own on the boat - 10 yr old

[Tatka]

1 minute ago, BND said:

Most parents I know, myself included didn't overprotect them until one day we just released them on the world.  Mine were gradually given more responsibility as they got older.  

 

But, the reality is, this is about the letting a kid wander around on their own on a ship full of strangers.  The ship is not their hometown.  You need to look at it from that perspective.

 

I, myself have stopped several children (usually around 10-11 yrs old) running up and down hallways and stairs and around corners.  It's all fun and games until they run into and knock someone over, especially an older person.

 

I grew up in 1.5 million people city, some other people I know in 3-5-10 million people cities. While we knew some people in our districts, most people were still strangers. I attended activities in downtown for example. Rules were the same.

 

I see huge issues with young people here in US due to over-protection. Do I need to say what happens on campuses of colleges or just when students rent apartments in another cities to attend colleges?

 

This is what you do.. you gradually allow kids wander in the city, ship etc full of strangers. I actually think that ships are better than average city. Yes, there are bad people, but percentage is way lower due to costs.

[BND]

1 minute ago, Tatka said:

 

 

 

This is what you do.. you gradually allow kids wander in the city, ship etc full of strangers. I actually think that ships are better than average city. Yes, there are bad people, but percentage is way lower due to costs.

Are you saying only poor people commit crimes?  

[mjkacmom]

26 minutes ago, BND said:

Babysitting at 9?  That wasn't even legal when I was 9 and I'm 63.  12-13 is appropriate (and legal in most places) age for babysitting.  We had a lot of freedom as kids, but no way would my parents (or us or anyone I know) ever let a 4 year old go anywhere by themselves. 

I walked close to a mile to kindergarten alone.

[mjkacmom]

24 minutes ago, BND said:

Are you saying only poor people commit crimes?  

I doubt most passengers paid for a vacation to commit crimes, especially a venue with cameras and other people everywhere, where there is no escape.

[Tatka]

32 minutes ago, BND said:

Are you saying only poor people commit crimes?  

 

 People of all walks of life commit crimes, but you need percentage.

 It is not difficult.

 In US it is even more visible. Compare towns/cities/districts by income of population and you can draw a conclusion. Of course there are all kinds of exceptions because for example some groups of immigrants are poor, but very determined so less crime in such ethnic enclaves. Otherwise it is not difficult to see connections between income and crime data.

 

Overall I see cruise crowd on average more prosperous  than numerous districts of US cities.

Edited August 11, 2023 by Tatka

[goldfish65]

How else is a child going to acquire confidence and independence if they aren't allowed to figure things out unsupervised? There are cameras everywhere. She isn't afraid. If she gets lost, crew members are there to help her. Of course you will instruct her not to run and to pay attention to her surroundings. And see that she has a grasp of the deck plans near the elevators. Start off with her only going back and forth to the kids club. Then see how you feel about allowing more freedom. She'll be so proud to do things on her own.

 

These are only my own opinions as an older person, only you know what is right for your child. 

 

 

[BND]

21 minutes ago, mjkacmom said:

I doubt most passengers paid for a vacation to commit crimes, especially a venue with cameras and other people everywhere, where there is no escape.

Have you heard of crimes of opportunity?  My point was not just poor people are capable of it.  It was not very good wording by the poster.

Edited August 11, 2023 by BND

[Mum2Mercury]

It seems to me that 10 is old enough for some freedom -- but not "go have fun, be back in the room by 5:00 to dress for dinner" freedom.  I'd say a 10-year old could leave Mom at the pool and go to the Windjammer alone to get a snack.  Or he could be left in the room alone playing his video games /resting while Mom leaves for an hour.  But I wouldn't allow a 10-year old to go to Movies-Under-the-Stars alone.  I wouldn't allow a 10-year old to walk himself to a kids-club event after dark alone.  

 

Even when our kids were teens, our rule was that we ate dinner together, then the kids were either at an organized kids-club event or with the family afterward.  Never had any problems.

 

 

 

[cruise1957]

On 8/10/2023 at 5:27 PM, zimmerman said:

Are Walkie Talkies an option?

 

not tried it, did consider it for our then 10yo though.

 

EDIT: broadwaybaby beat me to it

We've never had walkie talkies work indoors on the ship and they were pretty good walkie talkies.

[Amanda31]

Last cruise my DS was 10. We allowed him to go one place then check back in, such as go play putt-putt or go get pizza. I got chuckled one night after we had eaten an early dinner at chops a few hours earlier, he said he was going to walk back down to chops and eat another piece of lava cake. I thought this is something I have to see, him sitting alone eating cake at chops so I gave him a few minutes and walked down. I never found out if they assumed he wanted it to go or just wanted him to go but by the time I got down he was heading back up with two lava cakes, very proud of himself and his cake. 

[MommaBear55]

23 hours ago, Tatka said:

5 is definitely too early. 7 is a bit too yes.

This is the age of my granddaughters and I don't trust them out of my sight. They have very little common sense. The 7 year old stood on a chair to look over the balcony to see the seal on the dock. Luckily I was there to stop her. She could have been a statistic. 

[seasidemama]

Depends on your child's maturity level and familiarity with ships in general and this ship in particular. Also whether you will be able to stay in reliable contact. My children 10 & 12 were allowed to sign in/out for the first time this year. I made sure they had phones, voom, knew they had to let me know (and wait for my confirmation that I know) that they are moving from one area to another. My children have been on multiple sailings though and this was their third time on this particular ship. Maybe monitor the first day and see how it goes.

 

Edit:  This was a very positive experience for them. Gave them a wonderful boost for confidence/independence. We live in a large city and do not allow this type of freedom independence at home. Giving them the opportunity for independence on the ship was a great growth opportunity for them (and me).

Edited August 12, 2023 by seasidemama

[techteach]

In 2 weeks I’ll be on Quantum of the Seas with 10 1/2 year old grandson. I’ve never cruised RCCL. We cruised Alaska on Solstice last summer and he did great. I just bought him a phone because I thought we would be able to use RCCL messaging on board. I’ve read all of the posts in this thread and I think I’m understanding that he won’t have his own account to message me. Is this true? We’ll both have an internet plan so I hope we can just send regular text messages. Any thoughts? (He will not be running around unattended, but I want him to be able to go get pizza or soda or ice cream and bring it back to where we are sitting)

[reallyitsmema]

51 minutes ago, techteach said:

In 2 weeks I’ll be on Quantum of the Seas with 10 1/2 year old grandson. I’ve never cruised RCCL. We cruised Alaska on Solstice last summer and he did great. I just bought him a phone because I thought we would be able to use RCCL messaging on board. I’ve read all of the posts in this thread and I think I’m understanding that he won’t have his own account to message me. Is this true? We’ll both have an internet plan so I hope we can just send regular text messages. Any thoughts? (He will not be running around unattended, but I want him to be able to go get pizza or soda or ice cream and bring it back to where we are sitting)

 

He will not be able to have an account to use the app but if there is someone else sailing with you, you could have them log into their account on his phone so you can communicate.  I would make sure to set up wifi calling on his phone prior to sailing as it needs to be done while connected to cellular.  Since you both will have internet, I would just communicate via texts as you know that will work.  The app has notification issues at times.  Make sure he keeps his phone in airplane mode so you don't get hit with a huge cellular bill.

[Loracpin2]

On 8/10/2023 at 12:15 PM, topnole said:

3 and 7.   Wow.  Can’t imagine leaving a 3 year old with a 7 year old in charge.   At some point that strategy is going to fail miserably.   

I'm in absolute awe as well. As a 75 year old grandmother of three 3 boys and five girls, I can't phathom any parents leaving a 7 year old in charge of their 3 year old sibling......especially on a cruise ship!!!!

[seasidemama]

1 hour ago, techteach said:

In 2 weeks I’ll be on Quantum of the Seas with 10 1/2 year old grandson. I’ve never cruised RCCL. We cruised Alaska on Solstice last summer and he did great. I just bought him a phone because I thought we would be able to use RCCL messaging on board. I’ve read all of the posts in this thread and I think I’m understanding that he won’t have his own account to message me. Is this true? We’ll both have an internet plan so I hope we can just send regular text messages. Any thoughts? (He will not be running around unattended, but I want him to be able to go get pizza or soda or ice cream and bring it back to where we are sitting)

 

Texts and other messaging apps work fine (whatsapp/imessage etc.). I never rely on the messaging feature in the app as it is NOT reliable and as others have mentioned, children are not able to use it.

[Loracpin2]

9 hours ago, MommaBear55 said:

This is the age of my granddaughters and I don't trust them out of my sight. They have very little common sense. The 7 year old stood on a chair to look over the balcony to see the seal on the dock. Luckily I was there to stop her. She could have been a statistic. 

Our youngest grandson (now 17) did the same exact thing 11 years ago on the Freedom of the Seas. Fortunately my husband was there to pull hime back!!

[toxicfairy]

On 8/11/2023 at 1:21 PM, mjkacmom said:

I walked close to a mile to kindergarten alone.

Where I live a child can not legally be left alone until they are 12. The authorities can be called.  I know people it happened too because they didn't get along with the neighbors. So the neighbors reported them. It's considered child neglect here.

[mjkacmom]

24 minutes ago, toxicfairy said:

Where I live a child can not legally be left alone until they are 12. The authorities can be called.  I know people it happened too because they didn't get along with the neighbors. So the neighbors reported them. It's considered child neglect here.

Only some states have laws that state when children can be left alone, 37 do not. You must be in Delaware or Colorado. Illinois is 14, another state is 11, and the other states with laws are 10. My state has no law. I know my niece and nephew were left alone before in Illinois.

[moesyk4]

On 8/11/2023 at 12:54 PM, BND said:

Babysitting at 9?  That wasn't even legal when I was 9 and I'm 63.  12-13 is appropriate (and legal in most places) age for babysitting.  We had a lot of freedom as kids, but no way would my parents (or us or anyone I know) ever let a 4 year old go anywhere by themselves. 

Varies by state! Completely legal and I was very good at it 🙂 It was just for an hour or two and gradually it became my main source of income until I went to college!

[3yorkies]

On 8/10/2023 at 8:04 AM, paulfoel said:

Not so sure. Its a big boat (Wonder of the Seas).....

Shes keen but not sure if I let her go back and forth to kids club to the room etc.

Or how safe it is?

 

Although what the messenger app like?

Let me answer it this way:  There is nothing to keep sexual predators from cruising.  Just something to consider.  

[Tatka]

On 8/12/2023 at 12:27 PM, MommaBear55 said:

This is the age of my granddaughters and I don't trust them out of my sight. They have very little common sense. The 7 year old stood on a chair to look over the balcony to see the seal on the dock. Luckily I was there to stop her. She could have been a statistic. 

It is good to have a talk with kids about balconies. Many in US grow in 1-2 story houses without balconies or elevators so they are not used to them.

It’s more of “get used to things” than age. I grew up in 5 then 9 story building with 1 and 2 balconies, surrounded with 5-9-12-16 story buildings. I don’t remember ever kids falling from balconies. 

[BND]

On 8/13/2023 at 12:03 PM, mjkacmom said:

Only some states have laws that state when children can be left alone, 37 do not. You must be in Delaware or Colorado. Illinois is 14, another state is 11, and the other states with laws are 10. My state has no law. I know my niece and nephew were left alone before in Illinois.

Just because there is no law doesn't make it right or smart.  I remember reading about child development when I was in college.  The statement that stood out to me most was that children under age 10 have zero idea of what can happen and can't make the same judgment calls as older children.  They do not think like adults no matter how "mature" you think they are.   The other thing that was pointed out was that for example, when a younger child rides their bike they have no clue what can happen to them in the street.  Their concepts are based in mostly a fantasy type life.  As in, you get hit by a car, you pop right back up and are fine, like in a lot of cartoons.

Edited August 15, 2023 by BND

[TwoMisfits]

I'll start with it depends on the child.

 

That said, for a 10 year old, I'd let them walk from place to place on the ship with check ins when they arrive (or if not possible, returns to me every hour) during the daytime, like 7am-7pm.

 

After dark, I'd be accompanying the child.  Passenger alcohol levels tend to increase throughout the day, peaking at night, and it's that risk that would make me accompany one that young then.  You don't want the child to unknowingly set someone off or walk into a situation they aren't prepared for and don't know how to leave.  No one goes on the cruise ship to make scenes or commit crimes, but intoxication can ruin the best intentions for a few.  And while your child would likely still be fine, it's not something I'd want them to remember.  As an adult, we all know how to spot something going south and find another way - the younger kid, less so.

 

[mjkacmom]

49 minutes ago, BND said:

Just because there is no law doesn't make it right or smart.  I remember reading about child development when I was in college.  The statement that stood out to me most was that children under age 10 have zero idea of what can happen and can't make the same judgment calls as older children.  They do not think like adults no matter how "mature" you think they are.   The other thing that was pointed out was that for example, when a younger child rides their bike they have no clue what can happen to them in the street.  Their concepts are based in mostly a fantasy type life.  As in, you get hit by a car, you pop right back up and are fine, like in a lot of cartoons.

Well, never had an issue and my kids rode bikes all over town at 10. I don’t know how many children you’ve raised, but I’ve gotten 5 into their 20’s and they’re fantastic traveler’s, and learned independence and situational awareness at a young age. The term helicopter parent wasn’t around when I was growing up.