Choosing between friends and cruise lines

[Birdie1410]

We have some friends who would love to cruise with us, one group is a family of four and the other group is a pair of older ladies (sisters). Hubby and I are older, not very active but love our friends with kids who want us to go on a Disney cruise with them. Our other friends don't want to cruise Disney because of the expense and the ratio of kids to adults (we told them there are adult only areas). Hubby and I can afford maybe one cruise every 4 or 5 years so it's a tough choice. The family group wants to do a shorter cruise of 4 nights; the sisters want to do a week long. NEITHER group wants to go to the area I would prefer.

I hate to disappoint anyone, especially when it's nearly a one-shot deal. I'm just wondering, what would you do? Too many good choices and not enough money or time. lol;)

[Keith1010]

Let the friends with the kids go on the Disney cruise and let the other friends do what they want to do.

 

Then go where you want to go on a cruise.

 

Keith

[euro cruiser]

I agree with Keith, you can spend time with your friends and relatives elsewhere. If you had "world enough and time" you could make everyone happy but, since you can't, focus on your own needs and desires.

 

At least this way they'll all be equally disappointed (no favorites).

[Bonnie J.]

Remember a shorter cruise, 3-4 days, has a lot of YOUNG people who cannot afford a longer 7 day cruise. There is a LOT more drinking and partying on short cruises. Do all of you have to go on the same cruise???

Decide which cruise YOU want to go on to where YOU want to go and book it. This is your vacation and will be paying for it so you should do what YOU want to do! Then tell family & friends and ask them to join you on that cruise. If you have booked it you can't change to another ship.

And, if they join you make sure you do what you want to do, not what they tell you you must do with them. Our rule when traveling with friends is to do what we want. If its the same things our friends great but if its not, we'll talk about our day at dinner.

[cb at sea]

I would choose my cruise, then invite them to join YOU....apparently THEY want to cruise with YOU....so then, the ball is in their court!

[ovccruiser]

I would choose my cruise, then invite them to join YOU....apparently THEY want to cruise with YOU....so then, the ball is in their court!

 

Very well put. You cannot please all the people all the time etc etc Just make sure you please yourself and let them come to you.

[Marie51]

I would choose my cruise, then invite them to join YOU....apparently THEY want to cruise with YOU....so then, the ball is in their court!

 

Agree completely. The Disney cruise is expensive and over run with kids of course. While it is true that there is an adult only area on Disney ships, it is after all only one area so you still have the rest of the ship to deal with. Also Disney does not have a casino if that is important to you.

Other lines cater to kids and have wonderful programs for the children. Why not consider one of these?

[LHT28]

I would pick the cruise that suits you then just tell the others this is what we are doing feel free to join us if you wish...let them decide ;)

[DonnaK]

I agree with the above posters. Go on the cruise YOU want to go on, and let your friends go on their preferred cruise. It's too big an investment to let others choose less desireable options for you.

[GlendaleCruiser]

We have some friends who would love to cruise with us, one group is a family of four and the other group is a pair of older ladies (sisters). Hubby and I are older, not very active but love our friends with kids who want us to go on a Disney cruise with them. Our other friends don't want to cruise Disney because of the expense and the ratio of kids to adults (we told them there are adult only areas). Hubby and I can afford maybe one cruise every 4 or 5 years so it's a tough choice. The family group wants to do a shorter cruise of 4 nights; the sisters want to do a week long. NEITHER group wants to go to the area I would prefer.

I hate to disappoint anyone, especially when it's nearly a one-shot deal. I'm just wondering, what would you do? Too many good choices and not enough money or time. lol;)

 

 

Don't spend your valuable cruise time and money on a cruise that is not your first choice, especially when you don't get to cruise that often. I have cruised with a couple of friends for years and we don't agree on the next destination so I will go where I want to go and they will go where they want to go. I would be very resentful on the trip and not enjoy it knowing that I didn't get to go where I wanted to go or see what I wanted to see.

[fann1sh]

It's unanimous. Please yourself first.

 

(Voice of experience: I've had to make choices like this.)

[sail7seas]

We have been cruising since about 1990 often on our own and sometimes with friends.

 

We learned very long ago to pick the cruise we want, going where we want, on the ship we want and then in the most kind way possible tell friends this is what we are planning to do and they are very welcome to join us if they wish.

 

All too often we hear of people who all plan to travel together, book and then when it's time to make final payment and someone backs out. That leaves you on a ship you didn't choose to a place you are sailing only to please them.

 

It just doesn't work. It builds resentments and can ruin friendships.

 

Please, carefully consider that you are the one who needs to choose where YOU want to travel.

The others fall into place with your or not.

[Janet Foster]

All of the postings were great advice. If they really want to be with you they will go wherever you go..

 

I'd be out on the Disney Cruise for sure.. LOL..

[Putterdude]

I am inclined to agree with the #9 post, choose the cruise that you want to go on, there is no way under the circumstances that you describe that you can please everybody. It's your money and it's your vacation.

[printingchick]

Another vote for Keith's suggestion. I went down this road once and it did NOT work out well. There is no way for everyone to be happy. Whatever you do, there will be some resentment on the part of those who sacrificed their chosen cruise line or itinerary. Do what you want and let the others do what they want. Like you, I can only afford one cruise per year. This year, I am about to cancel my booked cruise due to extended unemployment. To give up such a precious week out of my year is painful enough when I'm doing it for financial reasons. If I was to do it to suit someone else's preferences, I'd certainly end up resenting having sacrified such hard-to-come-by funds on something considerably LESS than I wanted. My cruise is the highlight of my year. It's too important to me to make sacrifices and not feel some resentment. I also wouldn't want to instill resentment in friends by convincing them to sacrifice what they wanted to do what I wanted to do. If you've reached a point where you're asking the question, "Do I choose my friends or the vacation I want," you're in a no-win situation.

[DanJ]

At Easter dinner with my wife's family, we discussed a family cruise. My wife's parents have cruised with us and have cruised with her sister and husband, so the idea came up that we all go together. Of course, my wife's sister had to lay down the law that it had to be Disney on one of their new big ships and it had to be in April, as they don't like going away in the middle of winter and coming back to winter for a couple more months. I said that I absolutely won't go on Disney as expensive as they are, and I can't plan a getaway in April when we don't even have our vacation schedule done until the end of February at work. And even if I could plan it, I prefer a mid winter getaway.

 

They just returned from a Disney cruise with their 4 year old daughter and think Disney is the only way to go with kids. We have taken our kids on Carnival and Royal Caribbean and know full well they have excellent kids programs. So, needless to say, we'll make our own plans.

[Talisker92]

To quote Shakespeare, "To thine own self be true". We travel alone because there are too many chances with a group grope for something to go wrong, especially if there two or more other people. The decisions on where to go or what to do my engender resentment on someone's part.

It is your hard earned money, and that gives you the right to spend it as YOU chose, not to try to please anyone else.

[Zubsin]

What's that old saying ... you can pick your friends you can pick your cruise but you can't pick your friends cruise?!? Something like that...I vote pick your cruise!!! Donna

[Artrina]

If I were you I'd pick a cruise on a line that's family friendly, but, isn't one or at a time that would cater specifically to young kids. I'd make my plans and then share the plans with my friends. I'd also point them to this website where they can learn about the cruiseline, ship etc and make informed decisions about joining you.

[Taxguy77]

At Easter dinner with my wife's family, we discussed a family cruise. My wife's parents have cruised with us and have cruised with her sister and husband, so the idea came up that we all go together. Of course, my wife's sister had to lay down the law that it had to be Disney on one of their new big ships and it had to be in April, as they don't like going away in the middle of winter and coming back to winter for a couple more months. I said that I absolutely won't go on Disney as expensive as they are, and I can't plan a getaway in April when we don't even have our vacation schedule done until the end of February at work. And even if I could plan it, I prefer a mid winter getaway.

 

They just returned from a Disney cruise with their 4 year old daughter and think Disney is the only way to go with kids. We have taken our kids on Carnival and Royal Caribbean and know full well they have excellent kids programs. So, needless to say, we'll make our own plans.

 

We gave DD and family a week at Disney, part in the park and part on the ship and they loved it! They asked us to join them, but we declined. We like what we like, not necessarily what young boys (at that time) like.

That's why they have different cruise lines and different itineraries.

[PennyAgain]

Over the years we've done some large group family cruises. It requires that one person (with a great travel agent) be in charge. It is a game of compromise for sure.

 

I'm glad we did it, but we won't be doing it again. As time passes the younger folks have their own ideas of fun..... and so do we.

 

I agree with Keith on this!

[Dayenu]

What if for some reason your friends won't join you on the cruise? You'll be stuck on a route you don't appreciate. Pick a cruise you like, and send invitations to others. If they decline, it's their loss.

[griffy116]

You've gotten some good advice...plan your trip, and say you are getting ready to book and anyone who wants to go along is welcome to JOIN you. We planned a vacation several years ago with my family, which included a favorite aunt. Her children called and asked if we minded if they went along and of course, we said it was a great idea. They completely hijacked the vacation, including chartering a bus to make the trip from Atlanta to Port Canaveral (which cost us more than a plane ticket). They didn't like the hotel we had reservations at, and refused to check in when we got there. It was so embarrassing we left the hotel. They moved the date we left to include trips to Disney and Universal, which necessitated more vacation days for about 6 of us. They moved the kids from our table in the MDR to a separate table and pressured the rest of us into a different dining time. A couple of them were obnoxious to the waiter, were saving loungers by the pool, shorted the cabin steward on tips (causing us to slip the difference to the cabin steward). By the time we boarded "The Bus from Hell" for our trip home, the family was completely fed up with each other and we didn't even want to speak on the trip home. As the saying goes, "you can pick your friends, but the relatives from hell are your mother and father's fault..." (LOL). Never again! We don't tell our family or friends that we are going on a cruise until it's too late for them to "join" us.

[Tralynn]

I would choose my cruise, then invite them to join YOU....apparently THEY want to cruise with YOU....so then, the ball is in their court!

This is exactly what I would do!

 

Whenever possible, we always try to get everyone together to pick a cruise that makes everyone happy. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out. Everyone should be happy with their vacation. If that means different cruises, then so be it. Hopefully there will be a future opportunity to cruise together.