autism and cruising

[pandarider123]

I have aspergers syndrome and often piss people off and misunderstood. I want to go on vacation without upsetting other people. Is there places on cruise ships where I can be alone? And get privacy?

[mom says]

A lot might depend on which cruise line and which ship you're talking about. The only place for complete privacy and being totally alone would be in your stateroom/balcony. You can certainly find less crowded places on the ship, depending on the time of day and what's going on as far as activities/entertainment. If your ship has a library, chances are there might only be a few other people around. Some of the outdoor deck areas that are further away from the pools will be less busy. If a pool party is planned- head for the opposite end of the ship. If Quest is being held one night- don't go there, go up to one of the less crowded lounges. But complete solitude outside of your cabin will be too much to ask for.

[sparks1093]

I have aspergers syndrome and often piss people off and misunderstood. I want to go on vacation without upsetting other people. Is there places on cruise ships where I can be alone? And get privacy?

 

Yes, I think you will be able to find out of the way places on the ship to get away from the crowds. My middle son has Aspergers and he loved being on the ship (he was 14 when he went on his first ship).

[pandarider123]

Yes, I think you will be able to find out of the way places on the ship to get away from the crowds. My middle son has Aspergers and he loved being on the ship (he was 14 when he went on his first ship).

 

Was anyone rude to him or misunderstand him?

[sparks1093]

Was anyone rude to him or misunderstand him?

 

On our second cruise a 30-something lady hit on him which embarassed him, but I don't recall anyone being rude (he certainly didn't tell me about any incidents). The crew was fantastic and helped look out for him, he liked to go to the MDR by himself just before it closed to get a late night snack (this was on the NCL Sky). I am sure if you ask the crew where the quiet places are they will be able to point you in the right direction (and where the quiet places are will depend on the time of day and what activities are going on, etc.).

[pandarider123]

On our second cruise a 30-something lady hit on him which embarassed him, but I don't recall anyone being rude (he certainly didn't tell me about any incidents). The crew was fantastic and helped look out for him, he liked to go to the MDR by himself just before it closed to get a late night snack (this was on the NCL Sky). I am sure if you ask the crew where the quiet places are they will be able to point you in the right direction (and where the quiet places are will depend on the time of day and what activities are going on, etc.).

 

hope that lady had fee too many that sounds rather wierd

[crystalspin]

You don't need to be on the autistic spectrum for some people to be rude to you on a cruise ship! I know it's difficult, but try not to take it personally. Practice saying, "That was THEIR problem not mine!"

 

Norwegian Cruise Line is pretty poor for public spaces (that are not bars or restaurants), but there are still window seats that -- without actually being separate, -- afford a place that people are less likely to approach you. Also a deck chair is like that: if you shut your eyes, look off to sea, or lay a book on your chair or torso, it's kind of like a bubble around you -- you can watch people... or not. (I am thinking of on the Promenade and not around the upper pool, which is noisy and probably not a place to "collect one's thoughts".) And there is the library, which is quiet but still has people in it, minding their own business, if you are looking for 'quiet' without being restricted to your own cabin.

 

I should think rotating the above would give you a nice variety.

Edited January 8, 2014 by crystalspin

[pandarider123]

You don't need to be on the autistic spectrum for some people to be rude to you on a cruise ship! I know it's difficult, but try not to take it personally. Practice saying, "That was THEIR problem not mine!"

 

Norwegian Cruise Line is pretty poor for public spaces (that are not bars or restaurants), but there are still window seats that -- without actually being separate, -- afford a place that people are less likely to approach you. Also a deck chair is like that: if you shut your eyes, look off to sea, or lay a book on your chair or torso, it's kind of like a bubble around you -- you can watch people... or not. (I am thinking of on the Promenade and not around the upper pool, which is noisy and probably not a place to "collect one's thoughts".) And there is the library, which is quiet but still has people in it, minding their own business, if you are looking for 'quiet' without being restricted to your own cabin.

 

I should think rotating the above would give you a nice variety.

 

I play with orbitz lights to calm down but that can only be.done outside and not sure if cruise ships have a secluded public deck.

[middlehaitch]

hello pandarider123,

Is this you just putting out feelers before even looking at cruises or have you got a few in mind?

I ask because there is a lot of difference in what each cruise line offers, and if you could let us know what you are thinking we may be able to better advise.

I sail Celebrity, which is known as a more 'sedate' cruise line. This may be good for a first cruise as there aren't a lot of scheduled loud activities, only one announcement per day, and generally few children running around.

There is a deck at the top of the Solstice class ships that I swear most people don't know is there as nearly every time we have been up there it is empty or just a handfull of of people quietly lounging.

Do you need complete privacy all the time, or just need somewhere a few times a day to de-stress?

Indoor quiet spaces can always be found, it is just the amount of quiet you need and want I am not too sure about, but during the day the seating arrea around the Grand foyer is quiet with people just passing through to the service desks etc.

the Orbitz lights that you use sound very interesting, the top deck that I mentioned earlier would be an ideal location for using them.

Cruise lines try to accomodate all kinds of people, so though you will be different you will not be unique in having special needs.( I think the TV has made people aware of aspergers, and olny the truely ignorant would be rude to you. It still hurts, I know.

Contact the special needs dept of your chosen cruise line before you cruise; then go and introduce yourself to guest relations when you board so they can put a face to a name.

If you can do cruise with a veranda, it will afford you some private sun time.

hope you do cruise,

Cheers, h.

ps. have you checked out the Special Needs forum on Cruise Critic?

Edited January 8, 2014 by middlehaitch

[donaldsc]

I have aspergers syndrome and often piss people off and misunderstood. I want to go on vacation without upsetting other people. Is there places on cruise ships where I can be alone? And get privacy?

 

There is a Disabled Traveler on CC. You might try going on there and doing a search on aspergers. It is probable that someone who has aspergers has posted about their experiences.

 

DON

[pandarider123]

@middle hatch

 

1. My carnival magic cruise is already paid off but after being pushed out roll call group. im worried be negative experience.

 

2. If I needed complete privacy a cruise would be a bad idea. When I upset someone I often not no why and I take it personally and want 20 mins to distress.

 

3. Didn't know there was special needs area...so many areas lol

[sparks1093]

hope that lady had fee too many that sounds rather wierd

 

Yes, she had been seriously over-served. I am sorry that you got pushed out of your roll call:(. But on board ship you only have to interact with people if you want to as a rule- if you are sitting by the pool people will be paying attention to themselves (they might ask if the seat next to you is taken or something like that). Just remember that people on cruise critic make up a very small percentage of cruisers.

[sherilyn70]

1. My carnival magic cruise is already paid off but after being pushed out roll call group. im worried be negative experience.

 

2. If I needed complete privacy a cruise would be a bad idea. When I upset someone I often not no why and I take it personally and want 20 mins to distress.

1. Learn to ignore ignorant people and bullies. Stand your ground. You don't need the people in your roll call and will probably never even see them on the ship once you board.

 

2. I understand wanting to know why and what went wrong. It plays over and over in my head and drives me crazy. Anyone that knows me would tell you I don't have a mean bone in my body and care about people to much, yet strangers don't get it. I'm told I use very strong words that trigger emotional reactions that make no sense to me. I try to avoid them but when writing they are far too easy to miss. I've learned to just let out go (well after I've vented and probably repeated myself 20 times lol).

 

Are you going alone or with someone? Who is your support? Thankfully my husband also falls into the spectrum so he understands what's going on with me.

 

Your room is important. This is your safe haven and is the reason I will always pay for a room that I want to be in because I know I might lock myself in there for hours on end. I suffer from pretty bad sensory overload in crowded places. Is this your first time traveling? If not how do you normally cope while staying in hotels?

 

 

 

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4

Edited January 8, 2014 by sherilyn70

[dadroy]

I find the chapels on most ships are completely empty almost all the time and are normally very nicely appointed. Most also have very nice views. If you are lucky you can have a nice conversation with the real "Captain" of the ship.;)

[cruise_mojo]

on a sea day, you may not find an open deck area that's quiet

 

or without people

 

your cabin at least on carnival will be larger and comfortable but you shouldn't feel a prisoner to it either!

 

if you look at your daily planner of things to do, and get one of the ship deck maps at the information desk, (these are often on the wall or a desktop holder) then you can see whre the activities are, hence where people are likely to be, then just pic a place where nothing is happening

 

a bar or lounge, the piano bar, library, any of the disco or clubs during the daytime will almost never have anyone in them

 

the big lounges are empty usually during the days except for the bingo games, or shopping\port talks, although when the performers are reahearsing they usually close off those rooms

 

the thing is, anywhere by the pool, even if you are sitting there minding your own business, some waiter will be bugging you to death to buy a pitcher of beer! or a drink,

 

One thing is, you bump into all kinds of rude people on a ship, but also a great many more friendly people, I sincerely hope you have a great time! And find understanding people that will give you the needed space and time to collect your thoughts when you need to. Since you post here, and can communicate fairly well, you do seem to have a good grasp on what you need to handle any situation you get into. GOOD LUCK!

 

I could say some funny stuff here, but it wouldn't probably be appropriate, or at least the other readers might not think so. So I will withhold further comment!

 

ken

[AmandaBlue]

My son has Asperger's so I understand where you are coming from. My boy is just very blunt and says what he thinks.

 

Are you going with someone who might be able to recognize when you need some private time? Do you like music? You can always listen to some and drown out others.

[JanineM]

One thing to know is that the cabin stewards can sometimes Be a little bit overly friendly. Be sure to use the Do Not Disturb sign on your door. On some ships they will want to chat with you, on others they will quietly do their job.

[crystalspin]

@ pandarider

 

You are getting some good advice. I do not know about Carnival in particular -- go here:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=215

 

Start a thread that has your ship's name in the subject + "quiet areas -- outside?". I googled Orbitz lights -- do you have the glove type? It is so cool that you have found something that works to de-stress yourself! Lots of people (on and off the spectrum) never do, but take it out on others OR themselves.

 

Here is the Disabled Cruise Travel forum:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=190

 

Are you travelling alone? If so, here is Solo Cruisers:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=373

 

While cruising is not for perfect solitude or complete privacy (backpacking might be the only "travel option" for that!) -- the variety of surroundings and people to interact with (or not) may easily allow you *enough* space for self-care. Just need to figure out where and when!

[middlehaitch]

Hi again pandarider123

thanks for your reply. I can see how private quiet times are important after a difficult time with other people. Unfortunately I am not familiar with the Carnival Magic, however I did look at the deck plans and places like the lounge and library look as though they could offer a little refuge. Also the outside promanade deck is worth checking out, as is the Lido deck, there a few places on the deck that are out of the way.

Do check in with the special needs department before the cruise and again once you are on board. they may be able to make a room that is used at night available to you during the day with space enough you can use your Orbitz. I too googled them and thought they were wonderful; what a nice way to recentre yourself.

May I ask if you are artistic in any way? I only ask because when I watched a youtube with the lights I started biulding pictures, I am an artist ( I like your alias because I see a wild child stood on the back of a panda with a yellow cloth saddle).

Here is a link to deck plans and more info on the Magic

http://www.cruisecritic.com/reviews/review.cfm?ShipID=513

look for places that may suit your quiet times then ask if they can be made available to you.

I am sorry about the roll call but sometimes they do end up being a little clic-ish, frequent posters tend to scare off the less frequent, quite often they don't mean to, they are just chatting and trying to keep the roll call alive; of course there are the out and out rude people that do need to be ignored.

I do hope the friendly voices, many who are voices of experience, on this thread have helped assuage some of your fears.

Cheers, h.

[lady_cruiser]

Check out this website http://autismontheseas.com/ and while searching for this for you I noticed they also have a Facebook page.

 

BTW we were on a cruise with this group a couple of years ago and from what we saw, they did a wonderful job with the children and adults who suffered from Autism, Down syndrome and other related disabilities.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

Here's something I don't think anyone has mentioned before. Individuals on the autistic spectrum (this includes Asperger syndrome) often respond well to vestibular stimulation. I'm referring to the motion of the ship. I've read stories where someone autistic who normally feels tense and awkward in public, suddenly finds themselves feeling very relaxed and even social when on a moving ship. Have you ever cruised before, and how did the ship's motion affect you, if you have?

 

So what might happen is once your ship starts sailing, you might find yourself feeling more comfortable than you realize. If it happens to you, make the most of it. Exchange life stories with someone interesting. Try your skills at electric slide and cupid shuffle. And remember: this is your vacation, and you don't have to do anything that you just plain don't feel like doing.

 

One other thing I agree with others on here is to speak with Carnival's special needs department. Explain to them that you have Asperger's, and you tend to get overstimulated in certain cruise situations. (For example, the chaotic muster drill, where many people crowd into one room.) Even if you don't require actual accommodations, it'll be helpful to have crew members check up on you from time to time, and direct you to a quiet room if need be.

Edited January 15, 2014 by LandlockedCruiser01

[sherilyn70]

Here's something I don't think anyone has mentioned before. Individuals on the autistic spectrum (this includes Asperger syndrome) often respond well to vestibular stimulation. I'm referring to the motion of the ship. I've read stories where someone autistic who normally feels tense and awkward in public, suddenly finds themselves feeling very relaxed and even social when on a moving ship. Have you ever cruised before, and how did the ship's motion affect you, if you have?

I can say that this makes no difference. The ship doesn't rock enough to stimulate... and well being on a crowded ship will still cause sensory issues with noise and lack of personal space. I would do much better rocking myself on a chair or bench, but the noise is the worst part. People moving around me in all directions adds to the problem, it's even worse if they brush/bump into you. At some point I have to either sit and close my eyes and cover my ears or I retreat back into my room and enjoy the total silence. Restroom stalls are typically good escape spots as well if it's just a quick recharge that is needed.

[Ciyra]

Orbitz lights are one of the coolest destressing techniques I've ever heard of. I wish I were cruising with you. It would be awesome to watch your light show on a dark deck in the middle of the sea. I've always wanted to get myself a pair of gloves but there are so many different technical options I find it a little overwhelming.

 

I'm not familiar with your ship, but I have done Carnival before and the only time you might find it hard to escape the masses are sea days, but at night and on days in port if you circle the decks a bit you can find something quiet. If you don't mind the wind, head to the front of the ship on a high public deck, people tend to shy away from the cooler, more windy spots. Tell your room steward you like quiet spots and they'll probably be able to point you towards some under used venues.

 

Have fun. I can imagine being in an unknown environment with people you're worried will not understand you is daunting, but cruises are really wonderful and I hope you have a great time.

 

PS. The people on your roll call are a tiny sector of the people on the ship, just because you didn't find people that worked for you there does not mean you won't meet other people that are a good match. I've been on cruises where I joined the roll call but never actually met any of them onboard.

 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Forums mobile app

[pandarider123]

Orbitz lights are one of the coolest destressing techniques I've ever heard of. I wish I were cruising with you. It would be awesome to watch your light show on a dark deck in the middle of the sea. I've always wanted to get myself a pair of gloves but there are so many different technical options I find it a little overwhelming.

 

I'm not familiar with your ship, but I have done Carnival before and the only time you might find it hard to escape the masses are sea days, but at night and on days in port if you circle the decks a bit you can find something quiet. If you don't mind the wind, head to the front of the ship on a high public deck, people tend to shy away from the cooler, more windy spots. Tell your room steward you like quiet spots and they'll probably be able to point you towards some under used venues.

 

Have fun. I can imagine being in an unknown environment with people you're worried will not understand you is daunting, but cruises are really wonderful and I hope you have a great time.

 

PS. The people on your roll call are a tiny sector of the people on the ship, just because you didn't find people that worked for you there does not mean you won't meet other people that are a good match. I've been on cruises where I joined the roll call but never actually met any of them onboard.

 

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Forums mobile app

 

Wow not many people know about orbits and gloving. As some people.mentioned rocking motions bring peace but since im terrified of the ocean dont see it bringing much comfort. I dont have sociol anxiety. If noone talks to me ill manage..but when people start talking to me in a group I feel im saying wrong things or think they judgeing me

[wwcruisers]

Wow not many people know about orbits and gloving. As some people.mentioned rocking motions bring peace but since im terrified of the ocean dont see it bringing much comfort. I dont have sociol anxiety. If noone talks to me ill manage..but when people start talking to me in a group I feel im saying wrong things or think they judgeing me

 

I'm sorry if I missed something here -- if the ocean terrifies you, why are you going on a cruise? :confused: