If You Had a Sick Relative

[herbanrenewal]

This isn't hypothetical to me - my 90 year old mom was in a car accident several years ago while i was in the middle of a 3 week trip in Turkey. She broke her neck but was able to tell my brothers that she didn't want me "to worry" about her. My brothers decided I needed to know, but advised me to continue on the trip since there was nothing i could do and mom wanted me to continue my trip. I had a few rough days over the next 10 days before i got home but was in daily communication with my family. Mom survived for 2 months after that, but eventually succumbed to complications from that accident.

While I would have preferred to come home and spend that time with her, they downplayed the severity of her injuries at HER request.

My feelings in retrospect is that in these situations there are three perspectives to be reconciled - the sick/injured/deceased person, the traveler, and the person/people who have to make a decision. Mom loved me enough to want me to enjoy my trip. My brothers loved me enough to tell me anyway, even though they advised me to continue. I loved them all enough to accept their decision on how to handle the situation.

[notentirelynormal]

This isn't hypothetical to me - my 90 year old mom was in a car accident several years ago while i was in the middle of a 3 week trip in Turkey. She broke her neck but was able to tell my brothers that she didn't want me "to worry" about her. My brothers decided I needed to know, but advised me to continue on the trip since there was nothing i could do and mom wanted me to continue my trip. I had a few rough days over the next 10 days before i got home but was in daily communication with my family. Mom survived for 2 months after that, but eventually succumbed to complications from that accident.

While I would have preferred to come home and spend that time with her, they downplayed the severity of her injuries at HER request.

My feelings in retrospect is that in these situations there are three perspectives to be reconciled - the sick/injured/deceased person, the traveler, and the person/people who have to make a decision. Mom loved me enough to want me to enjoy my trip. My brothers loved me enough to tell me anyway, even though they advised me to continue. I loved them all enough to accept their decision on how to handle the situation.

 

What an awesome post. Thanks for the tears and a proper set of perspectives.

[geoherb]

My father and great aunt made a road trip to Arizona to visit relatives way back in the 1950s. They found out as soon as they got there that another relative had died. They turned around immediately to head back to North Carolina. Back then, it was a five-day trip. My mother thought it was ridiculous to have headed back so soon--and she has said that she doesn't want us to interrupt a trip if she dies while we're gone.

[ger_77]

We had an Instance a few years ago dealing with DH's aged uncle who was like a father to DH. Uncle's health was rapidly declining, but we had a cruise planned to celebrate a special anniversary, so what to do? None of the family wanted to talk to the old fellow (he was 96) about his possible demise, so I stepped in (I wasn't in the will, so I had nothing to lose!). I visited with him a while, then said we were leaving in a few days for a 2 week vacation, and if God came calling for him during that time, what did he want to have happen? Did he want us to be notified right away to come home for the funeral, or did he want us to find out later? After only a couple of seconds he replied "Tell them to put me on ice, you guys can have my funeral when you get back after your holiday." Two weeks after our return, he passed away in his sleep.

 

Smooth Sailing! [emoji3] [emoji3] [emoji3]

 

 

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[pris993]

I actually made this decision, about 25 years ago, my mother top a turn for the worse the night before we left on a 12 night Mediterranean cruise...it was not easy to go, did not know if she would be here when we got back. My sister was here and has a very strong support system so we went and prayed it would all work out. Did not make any arrangements to be contacted. When we returned my mother recovered and lived another six months, then died suddently with out any warming. One day she was fine, relatively speaking, next day she was gone. So ones has to live your life and trust what ever happens is the way it is meant to be.

[gymbomb]

If anything serious happened to my child, spouse, or parents I would want to know immediately and get home as quickly as possible. For more distant relatives, no.

 

 

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[Living4acruise2day]

Thank you for all of the opinions, but especially all of the very touching stories you shared.

[Elaine5715]

and you were on a cruise, and the relative passed away, would you want to be contacted on the ship?

nope

[GUT2407]

and you were on a cruise, and the relative passed away, would you want to be contacted on the ship?

Depends on which relative I guess.

[MicCanberra]

Yes, if they were close, I would change my plans. If they were not, it would be carry on, and send condolences.

[DirtyDawg]

Depends on which relative I guess.

 

Same for me in most cases. If it were a close friend or relative I'd want to know the bad news even if there was nothing I could do. For a distant relative or a casual friend, save the news until I get back. But if it was a relative who I never liked or trusted, I'd want to know the good news right away. That way I could get the celebrational high fives and toasting out of the way before I got back for the wake.:D;)

[Bonnie J.]

My daughter-in-law's mom had to have heart surgery just before they were to leave on their 1st cruise so they canceled their cruise Their insurance covered this and they got their $$ back.

 

On another cruise a passenger got a message to call home at our Meet & Greet on after we got on the ship. Her 28 year old son had been found dead in a hotel room. The next day was at sea but she got off and flew home at our 1st port.

[griffy116]

I wouldn't mind being informed....it would be unlikely to change my plans, unless it was immediate family. For an elderly, ill relative to pass while we were away, we would complete our trip. If it was an unexpected death of my mom or kids...then of course I'd cut my trip short!

 

Same here. Depends on who it is that the the sick relative.

[lbjen]

It would depend on the relative.

[crazy4tweety]

My dad passed away when I was on a cruise with my son in 2001. It was unexpected a heart attack. My husband made the decision not to tell me. He said there was nothing I could do. He wanted me to enjoy my cruise before I had to come back and have enough sorrow to deal with. He told me the next morning after he let me have a good night sleep first.

 

I first was upset he didn't tell me but knew my dad would want me to finish the cruise.we had the funeral a couple of days after I got back and I bough my dad a hat that said bahama papa and I buried him with that hat on.

 

I did not take out insursance that trip now every cruise I do. I would want to know if it was my husband if he not on the cruise with me or one of my children,grandkids.

[MicCanberra]

I think it really is a case by case basis depending on the relative and where you are and what you are doing when it occurs.

Of course, insurance is a safety net for when these things may occur and your trip may be cut short.