What to do when you skip the MDR for dinner?

[Strophic]

On our last cruise, my boyfriend and I ate at the steakhouse on the first night instead of going to the MDR. I didn't let them know we wouldn't be there, since I didn't think there was any need to. Later I asked a waiter if we should let someone know we wouldn't be coming if we were eating dinner elsewhere for the night, and he said no. But we did get held up a couple minutes when one of the other couples didn't show one night (nothing major, 5 minutes maybe.) That was Carnival, this year's cruise is Royal Caribbean.

 

On CC some people were discussing how rude it was to not show up to dinner and hold everyone up, which kind of baffled me since I didn't think (and, indeed, was told) you didn't have to give the MDR a heads up on nights you wouldn't be coming. So my question is...what do you do? Is there a number you call? Surely you don't have to go to the dining room in person just to let them know you won't be there? Or is it in fact okay to just not show up when you have other plans? Some clarification on the matter would be appreciated.

[bigque]

Other than the 1st night, I let my waiter know that I will not be eating there on whatever nights that might be when I am in the MDR and that is it. :cool:

[alfaeric]

Anymore, I think the wait staff sees the gesture as a nice thing to do, instead of rude for not doing it. Especially if it's my time dining.

 

Especially the first night, when you've not even met them....

 

Specialty dining has been around now for over 15 years, so they will fully know that you may be someplace else.

 

Where it gets a little more touchy is if you are in traditional dining, and at a large table- if they wait for you or not. That one, I can see as a concern for the wait staff, and the information being very helpful. And, yes, there is a number you can call to tell the MDR that you will not be there- it's the same number where you call for MTD.

[Clarea]

If I was in traditional dining, I would let the dining staff know. If I was in MTD with a reservation, I would tell the MTD host/hostess.

[Snit13]

In addition if TRADITIONAL it might be nice to let the other diners at your table know you will be elsewhere the following evening for dinner. No longer do Traditional dining but when we did there were nights we waited for table mates who were no shows.

 

With MTD if we have reservation or not really have never felt the need to notify anyone as we did not have an assigned table or even area of the dining room so not any harm to anyone.

[swoopy2110]

If traditional - Yes I would let them know

 

If MTD with no reservation - No

 

If MTD with reservation - Cancel the reservation

[BillOh]

On our last cruise, my boyfriend and I ate at the steakhouse on the first night instead of going to the MDR. I didn't let them know we wouldn't be there, since I didn't think there was any need to. Later I asked a waiter if we should let someone know we wouldn't be coming if we were eating dinner elsewhere for the night, and he said no. But we did get held up a couple minutes when one of the other couples didn't show one night (nothing major, 5 minutes maybe.) That was Carnival, this year's cruise is Royal Caribbean.

 

On CC some people were discussing how rude it was to not show up to dinner and hold everyone up, which kind of baffled me since I didn't think (and, indeed, was told) you didn't have to give the MDR a heads up on nights you wouldn't be coming. So my question is...what do you do? Is there a number you call? Surely you don't have to go to the dining room in person just to let them know you won't be there? Or is it in fact okay to just not show up when you have other plans? Some clarification on the matter would be appreciated.

 

 

This is a good question, I'm glad you asked. One could assume since you have a reservation that your wait team SHOULD know. On some ships they may, but others I don't think so. When we cruise on our anniversary we usually reserve Chops. I always tell my waiter that we won't be here the next night. They seem to appreciate it. We try to mention it to our table mates as well. I think it may be going the way of the "mints on the pillow" But frequently when we order one drink the first night, one is waiting for us the 2nd night, so I like to save the waiter the effort.

 

Over the past two years Royal has seen they are losing money by people not using the premium restaurants on day 1, so they are giving special pricing for those nights. On our last cruise we were at a table for 8 and only us and our friends showed up the first night. I told our friends the others may be at one of the Specialties. Sure enough night 2 another couple showed up and then to my surprise, the 4th couple showed up and said they had 9pm reservations at the Italian place, but wanted to stop and say hi. I was impressed with the gesture, and we got along with everyone at the table the rest of the cruise. I then let our waiter know the night we weren't going to be there.

 

On my upcoming 4 day cruise we will not be taking any formal clothes and will probably eat at the WJ or Johnny Rocket's. I think the wait staff appreciates it and they know you didn't come back because of something they did.

 

Good topic.

[taglovestocruise]

If we have a reservation for a specialty dinner we let the wait staff know as we leave the night before. They usually wait about 15 minutes before taking orders from the table when waiting for someone to show up. This is for traditional dinning not for MTD. Yes it is rude to make a table wait for you when you know your not going to be there.

[Merly]

If we know we won't be there,then even though we always have a table for 2, we let the wait staff know. I think it is good manners and saves him/her wondering if we are going to show.

If we were on a large table we would also mention it to the others.

[TBone2K]

... I asked a waiter if we should let someone know we wouldn't be coming if we were eating dinner elsewhere for the night, and he said no...

 

This is slightly cynical, but I wouldn't trust the wait staff to tell you what they really want, as many of them seem afraid to imply that you may have done something wrong. Or anything that would make their customers think extra effort is required to accommodate them.

 

If you are on MDR though I would let the wait staff or at least your table mates know (or the maitre'd on day 1) that you won't be coming on a given day, otherwise the wait staff may delay service to the whole table so everybody can be served at the same time.

[dplusd]

We have not done Traditional dining at a shared table since the introduction of MTD. But, I do remember sitting there waiting for no-show tablemates before the wait staff would take our order. As mentioned, if you have Traditional Dining and don't plan to attend, let your table mates or the hostess know. You could probably call the DINE line from your room to let them know of your change of plans too.

[katiel53]

We usually choose Anytime Dining and make reservations in advance. If we purchase a specialty dining plan, I cancel the ATD reservations for night 1 or 2, depending on which night I have decided to go to Chops or another restaurant.

 

When we get onboard, we make all our other reservations for the package and then call to cancel all our ATD reservations. I feel with reservations, it's like going to a restaurant where our table will be held for a while thus depriving someone else with no reservation or arriving early for a later reservation, a table. I do think it's rude to not cancel.

 

When we had early or late dining, we would tell the wait staff as well as others at the table if we weren't going to be there the next night. I don't see the point of having others waiting for us to arrive when, in fact, we won't be there. We have been the victims of this thoughtlessness and it could make others late for other plans they have made. JMO.

[Rogueperson]

You don't *have* to tell anyone. However, I think its courteous to let your table mates and waitstaff know not to expect you. Depending on your table mates, they may ask to start without you, and I've seen that happen before too. The wait staff seem to be able to juggle this on the fly if need be.

[cb at sea]

If we have tablemates and know in advance that we will be elsewhere, we will tell them and the waiter, so they aren't sitting there, waiting on us! If we were alone, we wouldn't feel the need to tell anyone.

 

If you have MTD and a reservation, you should cancel it when you know you won't be there...just like in any restaurant.

[cruising maniac]

We don't often plan that far ahead on vacation. If we are not going to make it for a specialty restaurant reservation, we cancel. But, if we decide at the last minute to go to the buffet instead of the MDR, no we don't tell anyone. I'll have to rethink that after reading the replies. We have traditional dining this time.

[andrew2346]

If traditional I do also let them know the night before. Even if I am thinking we will skip the next night I will mention it and tell them not to wait.

[telecruiser]

We usually make a blanket comment to table mates and waiter that we are prone to choosing other options sometimes, so please don't ever wait on us if we aren't here on time. That being said, I think it's been years since I've noticed the wait staff even wait 2 minutes for any stragglers. The service always seems to begin promptly. The staff is fully aware that people are doing other things.

[polymedia]

I don't think this is even an issue anymore. I've been on 22 cruises and it's rare that someone formerly informs the table that they won't be showing up, except if it comes up in conversation that they they've made other plans. They're either there are they aren't and dinner proceeds as usual. Many times I intend to go to dinner and do something else at the last minute. No one gives it a second thought, nor should they.

[taglovestocruise]

I don't think this is even an issue anymore. I've been on 22 cruises and it's rare that someone formerly informs the table that they won't be showing up, except if it comes up in conversation that they they've made other plans. They're either there are they aren't and dinner proceeds as usual. Many times I intend to go to dinner and do something else at the last minute. No one gives it a second thought, nor should they.

 

You are the rude fool that would make a entire table wait 10 - 15 minutes after the doors close to see if you show up. I see you only care about you and your vacation. Dinner does proceed as usual but only after others who have been well manured enough to waste there time waiting for you.

[polymedia]

You are the rude fool that would make a entire table wait 10 - 15 minutes after the doors close to see if you show up. I see you only care about you and your vacation. Dinner does proceed as usual but only after others who have been well manured enough to waste there time waiting for you.

 

Sorry but it just doesn't happen like that. I'm the one that's usually sitting at a table for 10 waiting for 6 of the people to show.

 

It's not a problem. We don't wait and start without them. They'll catch up if and when they get there. There's no rudeness here at all.

[Strophic]

I don't think this is even an issue anymore. I've been on 22 cruises and it's rare that someone formerly informs the table that they won't be showing up, except if it comes up in conversation that they they've made other plans. They're either there are they aren't and dinner proceeds as usual. Many times I intend to go to dinner and do something else at the last minute. No one gives it a second thought, nor should they.

 

See, this is how I think it should work. If I make a last second decision to eat at the WJ or some other place for dinner, is it really reasonable to expect me to walk all the way across the ship and back to the MDR *just* to say "hey I'm not coming tonight"? That could be quite a trek on an oasis-class ship. And the only time I see or communicate with my tablemates are when we are at dinner together, so it's not like I can text them and let them know.

 

I wouldn't even want dinner to be held up for me even if I was running late. Worst case scenarios are "I skip the appetizer" or "eat slightly asynchronously to everyone else." There's no reason to wait for me.

[Bookish Angel]

If we go to the MDR - and generally we don't, we just say to the table mates that if we are more than 5 minutes late to the table the next or any night, we have made other plans. Simple courtesy and it only has to be said once.

[telecruiser]

You are the rude fool that would make a entire table wait 10 - 15 minutes after the doors close to see if you show up. I see you only care about you and your vacation. Dinner does proceed as usual but only after others who have been well manured enough to waste there time waiting for you.

 

So sorry, but you are so off base on this. The wait staff knows darn well that people might do other options or nothing at all. They never hold up the service because of empty seats. This ain't my parents' cruise ships anymore. Sometimes they pretend to care by asking something like, "Oh, where are so and so?"

A collective shrug from the others at the table and service begins. Nobody is being kept waiting for anything. That would be insane.

[cruiser02]

Tradition dining: over the years - if we know in advance that we would not be at the table - we have always told our table mates as they us.

If we made a last minute change in plans we would attempt to seek them out to let them know. It is simply being courteous - right?

Of course life goes on ......

Lately we have been doing My Time Dining

[Milwaukee Eight]

On our last cruise, my boyfriend and I ate at the steakhouse on the first night instead of going to the MDR. I didn't let them know we wouldn't be there, since I didn't think there was any need to. Later I asked a waiter if we should let someone know we wouldn't be coming if we were eating dinner elsewhere for the night, and he said no. But we did get held up a couple minutes when one of the other couples didn't show one night (nothing major, 5 minutes maybe.) That was Carnival, this year's cruise is Royal Caribbean.

 

On CC some people were discussing how rude it was to not show up to dinner and hold everyone up, which kind of baffled me since I didn't think (and, indeed, was told) you didn't have to give the MDR a heads up on nights you wouldn't be coming. So my question is...what do you do? Is there a number you call? Surely you don't have to go to the dining room in person just to let them know you won't be there? Or is it in fact okay to just not show up when you have other plans? Some clarification on the matter would be appreciated.

 

I've had the same issues..... I was shamed by the CC crowd for not cancelling my reservations in the MDR. Since that time, on 5 cruises since my flogging and shaming I have attempted to cancel reservation in the MDR we could not keep. Each time, the cruise members (at front desk MDR) looked at me as if I was stupid (nothing from the peanut gallery please). So, I really don't think it matters. I will continue to cancel but sooner or later I will stop. It's funny how this CC operates. We generally ask for a two topper.