Friend may not be able to go with me on the cruise

[beshears]

I have been getting so excited about our upcoming cruise (LOTS of ICE/snow to get away from) the middle part of March.  There are 8 of us that are planning on going.  My friend and I were to have a room at the end of the ship, as we were not doing the balcony and this is a nice room, like the rest, who are in the middle of the ship. She just notified me that she will probably not be able to go, did not state the reasons.  She mentioned about one of my other friends going, but I told her it was too late to ask someone else.  Now, if this has ever happened to you, or someone you know, how did you handle it?  Yes, I will be with the rest of the group, but I feel so isolated and alone when going back to my room, or not doing something the rest of the group (their younger) might be doing. Please give me your thoughts on this.  I understand, even though I paid for her cruise, I will not be reimbursed back, correct?

[Hoosierpop]

Without knowing the exact dynamics of the group, I would go and have a blast. Sure, it’ll  be different without your friend, but there are still tons of stuff for you to do even if you don’t do a lot with the others in your group. Lots of people cruise solo and love it.

 

Again, it’s hard to know this specific group dynamic. But my advice is, go have a blast. And I’ve never had this happen, but yes, I think her cost is sunk.

Edited February 13, 2020 by Hoosierpop

[Jamesatgsu]

I'd be pretty upset with her.  You'll get a refund for the taxes and any prepaid gratuities, but that is it. If she agreed to pay you back for her part, she still should.  I'd still try to ask somebody else to go even with the short notice just in case. 

 

We dealt with something similar on a bachelor party cruise where one guy dropped out, but we were able to find a replacement.

[ProgRockCruiser]

I'm trying to rationalize how I would ever cancel going on a cruise with a friend when the friend had paid for it, leaving said friend in the lurch, unless is was something extremely major in my life - and I'd still give the reason, even if it was a bit vague for personal reasons.  So either she has something really weird/dark going on, or she's not really a friend?

 

Anyway, if you don't find a replacement, don't cancel her booking - you won't get any money back now that you are past final payment, and you'll also probably be dinged for solo supplement.

 

Just have her be a "no show" at check-in.

 

And enjoy the cruise!  You'll have a blast!  And you'll have a nice big cabin to yourself!  (Well, it will seem that much bigger with no-one to negotiate around in the bathroom, etc.)

[GeorgiaMomof4]

Like Jamesatgsu said - I would be pretty upset.  I know things happen but for her to not even give you

a reason is a little ridiculous to me.  Anyway, since you paid for the cruise, I would look really hard to

find someone that could take her place.  You're going to be out the money anyway unless the friend

that cancelled is willing to pay you for her portion of the cruise, so whether the new person pays you or

not doesn't really matter.  If all else fails, I would go and have a great time.  You have other friends who

will be cruising too and if there are more than 2 people in any of the other cabins,  one of them might want

to come and share a cabin with you once onboard.  If not, look at it this way - you'll have a whole cabin to

yourself - no bathroom sharing!  Have a great time!

 

[Alegeeter]

You paid for her cruise and she didn't even give you an explanation for backing out?!?

That's not someone I'd call a friend any longer.

 

Is there anyone else you could think of who you'd like to join you? It's a month away, maybe someone would be able to make it work

[beshears]

Thank you ALL for your responses. Yes there are others that I could ask, but I knew she had been through a lot over the past few years, and wanted to do something good for her.  Her explanation to me was that she wasn't feeling up to par.  I know her job is a bad situation, but I cannot help in that area.  I feel the main reason she doesn't feel or want to go is that she feels she will have to pay me back, and even then, I was paying (flight/cruise/insurance/transportation, etc.) for over half or more, and she had no clue how much I have paid out.  I also payed for her passport, as hers had expired.  I did let her know not to worry, that I wanted her to go, and not to worry about paying me back!

[Organized Chaos]

Sorry to hear about this, beshears. You've been posting about this cruise for quite some time now and I know you've been excited about it. My first advice would be to talk to her some more. Assure her that she'll have a great time with no strings attached. If it were me, I'd respectfully bring up the fact that you put a lot of money into her going with you and, even though she doesn't owe you (if that's how you want it), she could make it all worth it by going with you. Don't let all those expenses be for nothing.

 

I agree with others, despite how close it is, if there's anyone else you'd like to ask, it doesn't hurt to ask. And like GeorgiaMom said, if any of your other friends have 3 or 4 people in their cabin, maybe someone would like to move to yours.

[DB2VA]

I would ask another friend. Tell her that she would only have to pay you the fees and taxes, since that's the only part you would be getting back. If not, ask your original friend to pay her part!!!

[teknoge3k]

You should make sure she is aware that you're out the money and there's no recovering it, even if she doesn't go. At this point it doesn't matter if she goes or not, you're not getting the money. Make sure she realizes that. She may be thinking "oh, if I don't go, she doesn't have to pay for me, so I don't have to pay her back". 

[sanger727]

56 minutes ago, teknoge3k said:

You should make sure she is aware that you're out the money and there's no recovering it, even if she doesn't go. At this point it doesn't matter if she goes or not, you're not getting the money. Make sure she realizes that. She may be thinking "oh, if I don't go, she doesn't have to pay for me, so I don't have to pay her back". 

 

Agreed. If she thinks that going creates a duty for her to pay you back and not going would relieve her of that, she may not understand how cruise pricing works. I would make sure she realizes that you have to pay for 2 whether you booked with her originally, you booked solo originally, or she backs out and you cruise solo now. Either way you intended to pay and take her as a gift and since you can't get the money back and prefer not to room with an acquaintance it's still a gift hanging out there for the taking. 

[land lover]

So unfortunate trying to do something kind...and look what happens...As the saying goes no good deed goes unpunished.

 

Rather then assume what she is thinking...ask her what's up.....is she feeling down or it is  a physical issue. As Others have stated be honest with her and tell her what happens if she does not go. But don't pressure her or you may be in for an unpleasant cruise if she does go.

 

Now regarding u being at the back of the ship and the others center. Tell these cruiser to not forget about you. Get the hub or have them call your cabin so you can be included. If your concerned about walking alone to the AFt of the ship ask if someone will escort you....Sounds like you are a generous and kind person..,certainly they want to be kind to you but sometimes people forget unless they are reminded, So don't be shy speak up.

 

You'll have a wonderful time...

Edited February 13, 2020 by land lover

[Sillyjilly]

Enjoy having the cabin all to yourself. Once you go solo, you never go back. LOL

[coevan]

apparently you are not married 🙄

[Roscoe13]

Don't take her to court...take her to Judge Judy! 

[TNcruising02]

I’m sorry this is happening. Maybe she thinks if she doesn’t go then you won’t have to pay for her. Hopefully, she will change her mind if you talk to her about what’s going on.

 

I think it’s also a good option to ask someone else to go. Also, you can call Carnival and see if you can get a cabin closer to the others.

[crzndeb]

As a solo traveler since 2010, if your friend doesn’t go and you can’t find someone else, I really think you should still go as a solo. There are many times that I don’t know a soul on the ship, and other times, I also have friends sailing. I live alone, so being on a ship isn’t that much different, when I go to my cabin. I can go spend time with friends, or start up a conversation with a stranger, but it’s all my choice. If I want my time, I don’t have to worry about anybody else, and what they want to do.

I don’t know what’s wrong with your friend, but if she’s in a downer mood, she will bring you down, and I don’t think you would enjoy yourself, since you have been excited about this cruise. Have fun with the other friends that are going, and take a good book to read in your cabin at night. I think once you sail solo, you will love it.

[Pyxie]

21 hours ago, ProgRockCruiser said:

I'm trying to rationalize how I would ever cancel going on a cruise with a friend when the friend had paid for it, leaving said friend in the lurch, unless is was something extremely major in my life - and I'd still give the reason, even if it was a bit vague for personal reasons.  So either she has something really weird/dark going on, or she's not really a friend?

 

Anyway, if you don't find a replacement, don't cancel her booking - you won't get any money back now that you are past final payment, and you'll also probably be dinged for solo supplement.

 

Just have her be a "no show" at check-in.

 

And enjoy the cruise!  You'll have a blast!  And you'll have a nice big cabin to yourself!  (Well, it will seem that much bigger with no-one to negotiate around in the bathroom, etc.)

 

She essentially already is paying single supplement since she paid both fares. It wouldn't really matter if she canceled her friend or not at this point.

[beshears]

Well I'm back again, and I want to say, thank you for a couple of "chuckles" I got while reading these responses, which I needed, and the other advise.  I may have never said, but the other 6 that are going are my 3 sons and 3 d-i-l's, so I know I won't have a problem.  In fact, GeorgiaMomof4 just mentioned what one of my d-i-l's said a couple days ago.  She told me the 3 d-i-l's could take turns staying all night with me. 🙂 Then I told another d-i-l today, and she suggested that her husband (my son, or his twin brother) take turns sleeping with me, as they SNORE, which is true! 🙂 I was out shopping Saturday, and this lady and I got talking, and she knew I was looking at formal gowns, and we started talking about cruising, and I told her about my friend canceling out. She then told me (as many of you have said here), I should go on as a solo, as I will still have my family with me at times. It will be hard for me to do, and I am an outgoing person once I get to know someone, but can be very shy at the same time, but I just may take the plunge! 🙂

[beshears]

I have just been notified by my friend (really not a positive reason why), that she is not cruising with me on the 15th of March. 😞  I will be with other family members, but this was to be "our" time to do things together. To say the least, I have gone almost into a tail spin and I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I paid for almost everything (cruise, transportation, hotel, tour, etc.), and she was to pay me back for the cruise. To make the long story short, I talked with Carnival customer service, and because "I" paid for it, I will only get back the taxes, fees, etc. from Carnival. If you have been through this, or know of someone that has, what is the best way to handle this with Carnival, as I have not notified them as yet?

[Wanna_Cruize]

#1 question is did you purchase trip insurance for you AND your friend? 

#2 question is can you find someone else to go, even for a reduced amount?

[Cinnamon2]

I really cannot answer question, but do remember people saying on CC here that having her just be a no show is the way to handle it.   Hopefully you get replies from people who have experience.  

 

I do want to offer some encouragement to you:  Cruising with a group of friends/family and having your own private cabin is awesome.  You can spent time with others but also have the luxury of retreating to your own cabin for quiet time, bathroom time, sleeping etc.  I have cruised with my friends several times.  Some are single ladies and some leave their hubbies at home.  We each have our own cabin and it is wonderful.  We used the Carnival HUB app to message each other.  Our dining was linked so we were together for dinner every night.  We mostly hung out in pairs or small groups and sometimes we all met for the night's show.  Yes, it is expensive to have your own stateroom as you pay for 2 cruise fares, but but taxes, fees, gratuities and transportation you only pay for yourself.  I recommend you just go and have a great time!  

[sanger727]

10 hours ago, beshears said:

I have just been notified by my friend (really not a positive reason why), that she is not cruising with me on the 15th of March. 😞  I will be with other family members, but this was to be "our" time to do things together. To say the least, I have gone almost into a tail spin and I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I paid for almost everything (cruise, transportation, hotel, tour, etc.), and she was to pay me back for the cruise. 

 

 In that case, if it were me, I would send her a copy of the bill and let her know what amount she owed me. If she agreed to pay for her half of the cruise and is now bailing, I don't think that relieves her of her responsibility to pay what she agreed to.

[ricew001]

@beshears please do go and enjoy yourself! While I haven't cruised solo I have traveled a lot for business by myself. I always make new friends. Also it's great to be on my own schedule. I can just imagine a cruise - room service and sleep would be my first two days. LOL! There is so much to do and most people are in a good mood and therefore friendlier. Go and enjoy every single second.

As far as your friend - I see a lot of cold comments. Frankly no one knows what she may be going through - may not even be the reason she stated. You seem to have the attitude of it is what it is and are not bitter. Money comes, money goes. but people, love and acceptance are what are important. Go with your family and spread the love and just accept whatever it up with your friend and let it go. Enjoy!!!

[puppycanducruise]

Go, enjoy your cruise.

Enjoy your time with your family and your quiet time in your cabin.