Suggestion to End Formal Night Bickering

[mississauga]

Please don't feel apprehensive about your upcoming cruise. You should be enjoying the anticipation of your cruise! It sounds like you and your DH will fit right in. He will be wearing a dark suit and it's hard to say what is formal wear for ladies nowadays.......fancy dresses and pantsuits alike can be formal. Even though there have been some strong opinions voiced here, I don't think people in general would act snobby to people who do not dress for formal nights, do they? I like the formal nights but would never give anyone who is not dressed in formal wear the impression that they did not belong.

ENJOY your cruise!!!!!

[RetireeWannabee]

...Personally, I have always felt that dressing up was part of the cruise experience. Yes, you are on vacation but one where you dress up for. I had always thought that when people plan a cruise vacation, the first thing they do is to run out to buy new clothes for their cruise and that usually includes clothes for formal nights. Formal nights also give you a chance to wear those special clothes you bought for a wedding and had no where else to wear them to.

No way could I afford to "run out to buy new clothes for a cruise". I'm not sure who this applies to. I'm serious - how many of you buy new clothes for each cruise?

 

Maybe this is true of some people, but I can't afford to do that, I have to select from my wardrobe. It's a special treat to go on a cruise, and expensive, but like the previous poster who splurged on an 'evening gown' that now sits in the closet, this is impractical for many of us, so we do our best. I know that a lot of cc folks go on LOTS of cruises, but many of us are just here planning One. I agree that dressing up is part of the experience, but I also think I'd be laughed out if I showed up wearing one of those awful bridesmaid dresses.

[mississauga]

I agree that dressing up is part of the experience, but I also think I'd be laughed out if I showed up wearing one of those awful bridesmaid dresses.

 

You're absolutely right about those awful bridesmaid dresses! What I meant was the clothes other guests have had to buy for attending a wedding. It seems to me that I always have to spend more than I would like upon receiving an invitation for a wedding so if I've spent all that money on an outfit, it's great to have a cruise to go on and get some more wear out of it.

Many ladies have basic black long skirts or pants and top it off with a nice top with sequins and/beads and that is a very nice formal outfit and can be used on each and every one of your cruises. After all, how many people do you see again on your next cruise?

 

It strikes me that formal night is really a state of mind and attitude. There are many ways to be dressed up for formal night.

I want to say once again that we appreciate and enjoy formal night. We love the formal night dining experience and love walking about after dinner seeing people looking nice. It feels romantic and elegant.

 

 

Well said! I think a lot of us agree with you.

[Nliedel]

Oh good gravy, I forgot that I have a wedding to attend in October this year. No idea what to do now. I suppose I should get something that can translate to a cruise.

[phillipahain]

If 2 pieces of luggage of 50lbs each person is not more than adequate for all the mix of clothes one needs on a cruise i can only suggest someone is taking a whole heap of stuff they really do not need

 

Some passengers seem to insist on bringing 6 pairs of shoes and loads of large bottles of cosmetics and things like coffee makers

 

It simply is not nessecary

 

We have flown to most places around the world and one needs to be aware that to many parts of the world especially across the Pacific or across Europe you are only allowed 1 piece of luggage of 50 lbs yet still we manage to have both formal clothing ,smart casual and day wear and cope with different temperatures

 

Its simply a matter of planning and being sensible and mixing and matching and after all Princess unlike some other lines does have washers and dryers

 

Sure I do not try to bring ball gowns , beaded dresses and DH tux is fairly lightweight and i certainly do not spend a fortune on outfits i just take care in the sales to find lightweight items that are classic and look good dressed up or down with jewelry depending on the dress code

[mississauga]

Oh good gravy, I forgot that I have a wedding to attend in October this year. No idea what to do now. I suppose I should get something that can translate to a cruise.

 

 

Nancy, role reversal time. Wear your cruise formalwear for the wedding or has it seen enough of brides and grooms? lol:D

[Nliedel]

Nancy, role reversal time. Wear your cruise formalwear for the wedding or has it seen enough of brides and grooms? lol:D

 

If I were to look *that* sassy fabulous for a wedding I would outshine the bride!

 

Seriously, I am not sure how to describe Gene's extended family without sounding evil, but formalwear would be lost on them. I love them, but... They think a real fancy dinner on your anniversary is Red Lobster. (I love Red Lobster, just not on an anniversary).

[CrusinAgain]

I often wonder why people like to dress us so much on cruises that are suppose to be our relaxing vacations from work and the daily stress we face in our lives.

 

I wonder if it is because they don't work and don't get a chance to dress up or if they don't get a chance to go out and eat at a fancy restaurant or function to dress up?

 

Personally, I get tired of dressing in a dress, nylons, and heels everyday and want to dress down and relax. That doesn't mean to look like a slob but I don't want to have to be required to dress up for the entire night.

 

Actually I think it is a great idea for those who want that dress up time to go to the special restaurant. If you notice as it is there will be people walking around not dressed up for the late dinner seating as it isn't time for them to get dressed and you are dressed up, so does this mean the late seatings should dress up at the same time as the early seatings to enhance your walking to the restaurant?

 

I read on one thread that those who don't dress up should immediately go to their room by using the back elevators for the rest of the night after eating on the Lido deck. Talk about rude.

 

I think far too much emphasis is placed on this dressing and should not ruin any ones cruise how someone dresses. I have yet to see anyone dress shabby but then again I don't go staring around to see what people are wearing. I just enjoy what I am doing.

 

I think more important than dressing is having appropriate kindness and manners. Nothing like the formal dressers having to pack themselves in an overcrowded elevator after you tell them there is no room left and they get on anyway and the alarm sounds that it is overweight. Now that is tacky.

[annierie]

You're right. The airlines are not making it easy for people to cruise. That's why some many people prefer not to fly to their cruise port. Unfortunately, like you, we live in the part of the continent where that's not possible.

BTW, It's 50 lbs. per suitcase and you are allowed 2 pieces of luggage plus a carry-on.

 

I think people need to recognize that many of us are cruising overseas, like the poster referring to his cruise ending in the Far East. For example, the inter-island limit in Tahiti is 44 pounds PER PERSON. That seriously limits what I can take. We want to take snorkel gear, water shoes, birding book, laptop, cameras, astronomy guides, binoculars, much of which will be in our ONE allowable carry on each.

 

My husband's tux, shoes, etc. for two formal nights weigh almost 10 lbs. That's a lot of smart casual gear or allowable weight for the snorkel gear and water shoes. Because of Princess "policy" and the attitudes I see here, we are booking PG instead of TP and not going with friends who wanted a larger ship than PG due to fears of seasickness (even though I tell them TP hits very rough seas going to Rangiroa).

 

We were going to book the Owner's Suite on TP in order to eat in our suite and not offend anyone, but it seems I would have to be a prisoner in my suite for the entire evening if I take the comments here as reality.

 

It really boils down to why people cruise. We cruise to see the world. Not to dress up. We're not into fashion, but into exploration of the world in comfort and with wonderful food and wines. Expeditionary cruises don't always have the comfort and the food choices. Mass market cruising can't seem to tailor the product to the destination. It's a cookie cutter approach no matter where you cruise. The food doesn't even seem to change from venue to venue.

 

So, the bottom line for me, is that I will take your advice. Since I see the same responses in thread after thread, and I don't want to offend, I will take my business elsewhere. Princess just lost a $10000 customer for next December. I'll do the luxury line that doesn't make me dress up in Tahiti.

[caviargal]

I often wonder why people like to dress us so much on cruises that are suppose to be our relaxing vacations from work and the daily stress we face in our lives.

 

I wonder if it is because they don't work and don't get a chance to dress up or if they don't get a chance to go out and eat at a fancy restaurant or function to dress up?

 

 

I think it is wonderfully relaxing to dress for dinner and a big part of why I enjoy cruising on vacation. I work hard, have plenty of stress in my life, am fortunate to be able to enjoy great restaurants, etc. I dress up for those evenings as well as it is what I prefer to do.

 

While you apparently find dressing up a chore a detriment to a relaxing vacation, many of us feel exactly the opposite. :)

[Esprit]

We've just returned fro the Grand and were pleasantly surprised how formal the two nights were.

 

OK, so I was in the minority with a white tux' on but about 50% were DJ's and the other 40% wore lounge suites. I was also surprise how so many did not change into casual attire after dinner.

 

There were the odd guys in shorts on the Prom' deck but I'm sure they felt a little uncomfortable. Most probably ate in the Horizon Court rather than the 3 main restaurants so were at home up there.

 

If this is the norm' then I'm happy for Princess to the formal nights alone.

 

Peter

[OuiOnboard]

We dress up in our comfortable formal gear...don't wear the stuff that binds, pinches and generally restricts normal breathing and movement. I still wouldn't mind if Princess kept the ambient temps a little lower in the dining rooms and others venues where the formal dressers congregate on formal nights. That said, we have never had our formal evening experience degraded by others who are not dressed up because a vacation is what one makes of it. Why woud anyone intent on enjoying an expensive, well-earned cruise vacation allow it to be made less pleasurable by even noticing what someone else is wearing...we are too selfish for that.

Since you cannot mandate that others dress to your standards, perhaps one could concentrate on feeling good about how you and your mate look "to and for each other"...people whose actions you can control. Maybe we should "look within" and move on.

[LARGIN]

As I said before, a man in a tux during dinner usually has lots more fun after dinner :D:D:D

[OuiOnboard]

As I said before, a man in a tux during dinner usually has lots more fun after dinner :D:D:D

Thank God for Cialis!!!:)

[Princess Patches]

I don't think Tom or Rob are snobs at all. The way I look at formal night is that the Captain and his crew are throwing a formal party and the passengers are invited. You have two choices. You can either dress up and attend or you can not dress up and not attend. The third option that some people think they have of not dressing up but attending anyway does not seem reasonable to me.

 

If your neighbor invited you to a party and the invitation stated "suggested formal wear" I doubt anyone on these boards would go to their neighbor's house in jeans and tennis shoes for a formal party. You would either dress up and attend or you would decline the invitation. This nickpicking about the word "suggested" is silly. It is a formal party and everyone knows that. Some people think that because their fellow passengers on the ship are strangers and they won't see them again that they can get away with attending a formal party in street wear. Maybe so, but it is still rude.

 

When I am not up to formal night I go to the buffet and then I watch a movie at MUTS. You don't have to hide in your room. Just stay out of the dining rooms and the atrium area where people are mingling, talking and drinking champagne. It is not hard to do and it is not too much to ask.

[LARGIN]

I don't think Tom or Rob are snobs at all. The way I look at formal night is that the Captain and his crew are throwing a formal party and the passengers are invited. You have two choices. You can either dress up and attend or you can not dress up and not attend. The third option that some people think they have of not dressing up but attending anyway does not seem reasonable to me.

 

If your neighbor invited you to a party and the invitation stated "suggested formal wear" I doubt anyone on these boards would go to their neighbor's house in jeans and tennis shoes for a formal party. You would either dress up and attend or you would decline the invitation. This nickpicking about the word "suggested" is silly. It is a formal party and everyone knows that. Some people think that because their fellow passengers on the ship are strangers and they won't see them again that they can get away with attending a formal party in street wear. Maybe so, but it is still rude.

 

When I am not up to formal night I go to the buffet and then I watch a movie at MUTS. You don't have to hide in your room. Just stay out of the dining rooms and the atrium area where people are mingling, talking and drinking champagne. It is not hard to do and it is not too much to ask.

 

You are too logical for this board.... :D:D:D

[judyjbest]

If you were standing in your front door, greeting your neighbors who accepted your invitation to come to your house for a party, would you say, "I'm sorry, you're not dressed right, you can't come in."?

[LARGIN]

If you were standing in your front door, greeting your neighbors who accepted your invitation to come to your house for a party, would you say, "I'm sorry, you're not dressed right, you can't come in."?

 

Yep... I attended a bday party for a friend that the invite said "Black Tie". The party was held in a back yard garden and a gentleman was at the door checking invites. And yes, a few were politely sent home...

[judyjbest]

I'm sorry then, because I would never turn anyone away. I would make sure everyone of my guests were comfortable, whether they were dressed for the occasion or not ... They would be welcome! And, I believe that's why the cruise lines say these are "suggested" not "required", because all their guests are welcome. It's not the cruise lines who have a problem, it's some of their guests!

[mii]

I don't think Tom or Rob are snobs at all. The way I look at formal night is that the Captain and his crew are throwing a formal party and the passengers are invited. You have two choices. You can either dress up and attend or you can not dress up and not attend. The third option that some people think they have of not dressing up but attending anyway does not seem reasonable to me.

 

If your neighbor invited you to a party and the invitation stated "suggested formal wear" I doubt anyone on these boards would go to their neighbor's house in jeans and tennis shoes for a formal party. You would either dress up and attend or you would decline the invitation. This nickpicking about the word "suggested" is silly. It is a formal party and everyone knows that. Some people think that because their fellow passengers on the ship are strangers and they won't see them again that they can get away with attending a formal party in street wear. Maybe so, but it is still rude.

 

When I am not up to formal night I go to the buffet and then I watch a movie at MUTS. You don't have to hide in your room. Just stay out of the dining rooms and the atrium area where people are mingling, talking and drinking champagne. It is not hard to do and it is not too much to ask.

 

Princess, I could not have said it better myself. That is exactly what I do on Formal nights if I choose not to go. My DH and I take a walk around the deck, maybe go to the casino and then back to our room. Very simple. It is not hard to do. I totally agree. Thank you

'

Marilyn

[LARGIN]

And, I believe that's why the cruise lines say these are "suggested" not "required", because all their guests are welcome. It's not the cruise lines who have a problem, it's some of their guests!

 

Interesting... I am looking at the Princess Cruise Answer book and in the paragraphs under the title "Onboard Attire", the word "suggested" does not appear. In fact I cannot find that word in evening dining guidelines stated in my last 3 patters either.

[annierie]

Princess, I could not have said it better myself. That is exactly what I do on Formal nights if I choose not to go. My DH and I take a walk around the deck, maybe go to the casino and then back to our room. Very simple. It is not hard to do. I totally agree. Thank you

'

Marilyn

 

... going to the casino is not allowed unless you are formally dressed. The well dressed don't want to see you in the casino not properly attired.

[Princess Patches]

Judy,

 

You sound like an excellent hostess. I agree with you. If someone showed up at my formal party in tennis shoes and blue jeans I would let them in. That is what a gracious hostess would do. However, I would expect (I would never ask) for an explanation as to why they chose not to dress appropriately. If no explanation was volunteered I would assume it was a personal snub and I doubt they would be on my next party list.

 

I think the Captain and his crew also do as you would do. They do not ask anyone to leave who is not dressed appropriately. That is because they are also excellent hosts. However, that doesn't negate the fact that the party goer in blue jeans and tennis shoes is being rude to his/her host. It is a certain form of snobbery to believe you don't have to play by the rules like everyone else.

[sjbdtz]

While you apparently find dressing up a chore a detriment to a relaxing vacation, many of us feel exactly the opposite. :)

 

 

Exactly....so why is it that you think WE should conform to YOUR feelings?

 

This is the reason why Freestyle is so enjoyable....when the formal night is OPTIONAL, those who enjoy dressing can do so, and those who do not, don't have to be made to feel like second class citizens.

[mississauga]

If no explanation was volunteered I would assume it was a personal snub and I doubt they would be on my next party list.

 

 

Princess Patches & judyjbest, you sound like great hostesses in your own homes and are probably good "guests" on formal nights on a cruise. Unfortunately, the cruiseline cannot do the same as you would for those "rude guests".

 

However, that doesn't negate the fact that the party goer in blue jeans and tennis shoes is being rude to his/her host. It is a certain form of snobbery to believe you don't have to play by the rules like everyone else.

 

 

An excellent way of looking at it.