LucasLikesToCruise

Again.  I feel I have said too much.   I’m very sorry to say things that most guys don’t like.   I’m one tho g on my mind and very different in real life.   I’m sorry HBE4 yiu re an awesome man that loves his family 😎

Everyone here helped me calm my experience while taking care of my mom as she died.  I appreciate everyone for that 

1 hour ago, HBE4 said:

 

Perfectly said,  @dani negreanu, perfectly said. 💜   (purple was DW favorite color)

 

 

I highly recommend it. There is something therapeutic about it and I find this thread to be a perfect escape from the real world.  Not sure why, maybe the anonymity of it?

 

Thanks.  I’ve thought back and forth about what to say….I can relate to you in so many ways due to the delay in someone s life….families life…I’m extremely logical and have been punished in the past for that.  

6 hours ago, Momof3gurlz said:

Busy week here, like most of you I’m sure. We have a Christmas Party tomorrow night at a friends house, then I’m having a party here Saturday night for a bunch of my friends.  We’ve done it every year for about 20 years, but the last one was 2019 due to you know what.  So I’ve been busy finishing up decorating, lugging all the holiday dishes & glasses up from the lower level.  Certainly got my exercise!  
 

@Sunshine3601 I’m so glad to hear you and Eric are having a nice relaxing cruise, seems like great weather too.  
 

@Sea Dog You’re going to make a great Santa! I look forward to seeing the pictures.  

It’s great to have a yearly Christmas party.  That’s great.   You’re so lucky. 

1 hour ago, HBE4 said:

 

I'm scared to ask what you thought I would look like? Granted, most of my posts look like there were written by a blabbering idiot but I can assure you, in real life, I don't blabber.😉

 

 

I might be singling your post out but it applys to so many others as well. You guys/gals are the reason I felt like sharing.

 

 

Thank you. I was a bit hesitant to share the photo's at first as I tend to be a bit on the private side (no first name, email address or home town, etc) but after the journey and the support on this thread over the last 19 months, I felt it was only fair for people to connect a face with a name. So many others post pictures and mine were 4 years old so....

 

You are a very sexy and handsome men. 😎😊

11 hours ago, HBE4 said:

Rest In Peace, Mrs HBE4.

 

Last month, about a week before Thanksgiving, my wife joined the angels in heaven. It’s been a long 19-month journey that I’ve mentioned in the past, I know some here remember the story, others might have missed it and perhaps a few more might not remember all the details.  As I find talking and writing about it to be therapeutic, I’m going to summarize it. For those that are not into that kind of thing, now might be a good time to hit the Page Down button a few times. No hard feelings, I promise.  

 

Easter Sunday Morning, 2021, I was awakened by my wife to call 911 as she could not breathe. I did and the operator had me perform CPR while awaiting the paramedics. Medically speaking, I’m pretty sure my wife died in my arms that morning as when the paramedics arrived, she was not breathing and they could not find a pulse. Through their heroic efforts, they were able to revive her but too much time had passed. My wife suffered a irreversible Anoxic Brain Injury (oxygen deprivation to the brain cells) due to a massive blood clot in her lungs that also caused a heart attack. She was left in an “unaware and unresponsive state”, basically one step above a coma and a nice way of saying a vegetative state.  My fingers still cringe when typing that.

 

The injury to her brain would be permanent. I consulted at least a half-a-dozen neurologists and brain injury specialists from a half-a-dozen different hospitals and brain injury rehabilitation centers but the conclusion was always the same. There was no pathway to a “meaningful recovery”.  Oh, there would be a glimpse of a sliver of hope once in a while.  While 90% of the time her eyes would be closed, when they opened, sometimes there would be a flicker of recognition, of life behind those eyes. Most of the time, a blank stare at the ceiling. Still, I visited 5-6 days a week, 1-3 hours at time, talking, reading, playing music or just holding her hand while watching our favorite TV shows.   I’m not sure there was ever a “conscience awareness” but maybe an emotional one. When whispering sweet nothings in her ear, tears would flow from her eyes. The last time this happened was this past Sept when I told my wife that her daughter was going to take me out to NYC for my birthday, for dinner and a Broadway play and drinks afterwards. I’m sure that warmed her heart and the tears of happiness flowed that night.  That as the last time I saw any kind of response.

 

With recovery no longer a consideration, thoughts turned to comfort care and dignity which quickly turned to thoughts of how to end this. (Tangent: in New York State, not many options).  On Nov. 6^th, on what was our 29^th wedding anniversary, I told her she was free to join her parents and older sister in heaven. Less than 2 weeks later, she took the worse, most heart-breaking choice a spouse could make out of my hands and slipped away, on her own terms and time line. The best gift she could have possibly given me.

 

I was out of town when it happened and was beside myself when I got the call. But the next day, an amazing sense of calm and serenity came over me. I can’t call it relief but just sense of peacefulness.  The outpouring of support I received from close friends and family, as well as people I’ve barely spoken to in 20+ years and those that I hardly know, is a true testament to her and her life.

 

Thank you all here for your concern and good wishes. I know I’ve been tagged in several posts which many people in turned acknowledged via the “like” button or by replying to said post. I read the discussion about respecting a person’s privacy vs finding out what happens to a poster when they suddenly no longer post. Speaking only for myself, it is heart-warming to know that my absence was noticed and felt and people I’ve never met were concerned for my well-being. So again, thank you, It’s been a whirlwind 3 weeks and just now being able to catch my breath. I’m here & I’m okay-ish.

 

  Side note: Should I ever purposely decide to stop posting here, I will definitely post a farewell message.

 

@Tree_skier @grapau27 @Coralc @dani negreanu @reallyitsmema @Sunshine3601 @lenquixote66

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss.  Even when we have had time to prepare it’s always a great loss.  You look like a great couple and I’m sure her daughter appreciates you by her side during this difficult time.  I appreciate you taking the time to tell your story to us.  Perhaps one day I’ll be able to do the same.  

2 minutes ago, xpcdoojk said:

Yeah, what I figured you could see.  On the upside, you are seeing flames from the volcano.  Either that or a peaceful 2020 riot.  Although at over 10,000 feet elevation, that seems unlikely!😂🤣

Of course those are peaceful riots in the distance.  Can’t blame any of the lava for destruction since it’s all peaceful riots.  

Just now, LucasLikesToCruise said:

P,a =plan 

As usual, I get tongue tied on here and my true intentions don’t alway come across as they are in my mind….either way, my heart is with you sunshine 🌞 

Just now, LucasLikesToCruise said:

I agree.  P,a what you can. But Eric should cruise with you and relax with you.  I’m sure his mother would appreciate him being able to grieve with the one that means the most to him.  

P,a =plan 

5 minutes ago, Coralc said:

 

Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry. I am sure it is very sad for Eric. And I will put in another endorsement for the Neptune Society. The ashes can wait for distribution when you have more time to think about it. Eric should get some stuff done before you leave, but then take the cruise, and just relax. It will help to get away. 

 

 

I agree.  P,a what you can. But Eric should cruise with you and relax with you.  I’m sure his mother would appreciate him being able to grieve with the one that means the most to him.  

1 minute ago, Coralc said:

 

Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry. I am sure it is very sad for Eric. And I will put in another endorsement for the Neptune Society. The ashes can wait for distribution when you have more time to think about it. Eric should get some stuff done before you leave, but then take the cruise, and just relax. It will help to get away. 

 

 

The Neptune society has been a great help with both my parents.  I can’t give them enough credit for a very low key involvement at a particular time of need.  

Eric is extremely lucky to have you by his side.  I wish I had the same loving partner by my side at my time of need.. I’d give you a hug if I could 😇

44 minutes ago, Sunshine3601 said:

We would like to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers for our family.

Eric's Mother passed away around 10 am.  

Eric and his Brother spent the morning trying to find her Will and other legal documents, banking info, etc.   He phoned at work and I suggested they look under her mattress...tada  they found alot of it under her mattress.  

I think that scared him that I knew how a crazy old lady that was paranoid of everyone trying to steal from her would think.😇

They have begun the arrangements to have her cremated.  Just not sure what to do with her ashes yet.  She never told anyone and is not written down.

Eric and I booked to sail on Anthem this coming Sunday.   He's not sure he will make it but is insisting that I go and enjoy a solo cruise.   

I'm not sure how I feel about yet.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss even though there have been difficulties in your relationship.  It can be very hard to lose someone that you had a tremulous relationship with.  Believe me, I’ve been dealing with that myself.  From everything I have known about you, Eric is extremely fortunate to have you by his side.  You have always been extremely nice to me.  I’ll give you all the support that I can in your difficult time as your loving husband deserves it.  👼

2 hours ago, xpcdoojk said:

You of all people should know you can’t question the science.  We have spent billions for shots, take yours and shut up!

I had my hand slapped for questioning the science. 😫

1 minute ago, Sunshine3601 said:

Your funny story of lady at Target reminds me of a time I was in baby food isle with a friend.  I was looking at getting baby food for my cat that had an allergic reaction and had a swollen tongue and was unable to eat cat food.   Vet suggested I try baby food.   

Woman asks me name of my baby.  I tell her Cosmo, she gave me the strangest look and walked away mumbling to her husband something like "what's wrong with people nowadays, who names their son Cosmo"   I couldn't help but shout out.   He is a Ginger😁

Great story.  I laughed out loud when you said…. He is a Ginger.  Oliver woke up and looked at me with the Bella head tilt.  Thanks for the genuine laugh, I really needed it today. 😀

29 minutes ago, Ocean Boy said:

I'd love to read about your trip and don't want to visit the NCL board.

Why not?  They don’t have cooties.  🤔🤣🤣😇😇

Here’s a little bit of a funny story considering everything that’s going on with me.  
 

I was at Target yesterday trying to find some twin XL sheets since we had to change out my moms really comfortable queen size adjustable bed for one of the adjustable hospital bed with the alternating pressure air mattress due to getting some sores on her derrière 😔. For one thing it’s hard to find Twin XL sheets right after all the college kids went back to the dorms.  But I was able to snag some at Target that weren’t dinosaurs or unicorns and rainbows LOL.

So while I was there I needed to pick up some more apple sauce and yogurt. Since she is having a hard time swallowing thicker foods.  I decided to check the baby food aisle for other fruit flavors.  While looking, a lady asked me how old my little one was.  I replied 78. She asks, oh 7 or 8 months, you don’t know how old your child is? In a very condescending way.  I just looked back at her and said 78 years old.  She took a second and gave be a puzzled look and walked away.  It was a very strange encounter but made me laugh as I was walking to the register.  Yeah, I know, I have a warped sense of humor.

well, that’s my funny story for today.  I wish I had a video or pictures of me trying to move her heavy adjustable bed frame and mattress out of her room, but hard to do when you have to do everything by yourself.   
 

Ok, another little funny moment.  While i was moving her bed from her room to mine.  I was looking for a new mattress and bed anyways, and hers was only a few years old.   I had her sitting in her recliner in the living room.  All of a sudden, in a very clear and serious voice she says….. If you give me a few minutes to rest, I’ll be able to you with the heavier parts. I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit and tell her it’s not the heavy.  🙂

3 hours ago, singinalot said:

feels amazing here right now! high of 66 today. We opened all the doors and windows yesterday and left the AC off overnight. love it

I agree with you, I love this weather.  I had the window open last night and all open this morning, throughout high is only 60 today.  

6 hours ago, Keksie said:

It is 38 this morning.  Turned the heat on last night.  Supposed to be 60s+ for the next couple of days so it will stay on until it gets back to the 70s on Friday.  

It was a bit warmer here this morning when I took Oliver for his morning walk, 43 degrees🥶.  It had to get colder for me to use the heat especially when it was AC weather two days ago. But I will use a small ceramic heater in the bathroom after a shower.  🙂

2 hours ago, grapau27 said:

Good evening.

It has been sunny all day.

We had a busy day.

This was lunch.

 

Damn, those look great.  I’m starving. 😋

3 hours ago, dani negreanu said:

 

And here I was thinking Crystal ( @singinalot) was kidding... didn't know "gator" meat is edible 😕

 

Just about all meat is “edible” if it’s fried right.  🙂

28 minutes ago, singinalot said:

so our good friends caught a 7.5’ gator in the lake…time for a gator fry

 

but charcuterie first

Fried gator is very good, had is several times from all my years living in South Florida. 🐊 

7 hours ago, Sunshine3601 said:

Bad news, I had a miserable night with fever, chills, annoying cough and congestion.

Just tested and I am positive for Covid.    

I have avoided it for 2.5 yrs guess I was due to get it.

I'm staying in spare bedroom to avoid Eric.   So far he feels fine.

 

Hope you start to fell better really soon. 

1 hour ago, Ocean Boy said:

I am, once again, having trouble keeping track of who is on what ship, where they are going, and what dates the cruise runs from.😑

 Maybe Crystal @singinalot will make a spreadsheet for you? 😎

I see other had the same thought same…. This what happens when one responds without reading all the comments first.  

37 minutes ago, Bailey & Sophie said:

 

It is a different mind set. My mom is in a memory care unit at the Veterans Home. She has been unable to care for herself for a few years now and is non-verbal. She spends most of her time sleeping. Hospice reduces the amount of time my mom needs from the staff so they are not so stressed. They are angels of mercy.

I can’t think of anything negative to say about the experience yet.  I doubt I will when all is said and done.