Learn How to Ask Nicely!

[Presto2]

How strange just to find this thread when we were going to start one of our own about RUDE passengers !

 

We were on the Silhouette 10th August 2012 and were so annoyed by a number of very rude passengers who, basically, needed to be thrown overboard !

 

One instance was in Qsine where the English 'gentleman' sitting opposite treated the poor Slovenian waiter like you'd expect a slave to be treated in the Victorian days. At one point he was waving his arms yelling 'Shooooo, just go away" -----

 

On another occasion the comment we heard when he refused to order a Dessert was "Now if he had called it the Pudding Menu then that would have gone some way to improving things" ? :confused::mad::mad:

 

The 'gentleman' obviously did not understand Qsine - but if he'd shut up long enough to listen to the waiter he would have understood more.

 

I can't tell you how rude that man was and English folk we were embarrased that he could represent our country ! We did have a chat with the waiter at the end and congratulate him on his patience and said that we felt like thumping the man for him, but he was very professional and said it was his job. NO it isn't his job to be treated so badly. :mad:

 

Another instance - a classic at the Mast Bar was when a very 'proper / posh English lady' stormed up the bar man who asked her, very kinldy what she wanted "I don't want to order anything, but there are people down there who want to so send someone now to ask them what they want". The bar man was very polite --- she then waddled off and I imagine waited for her private slaves to trot down and ask her what she wanted. Why she just didn't give the order there and then is beyond us! The staff are only human and can't be everywhere -

 

Our regret was that in both cases the people involved were English --- we're quite ashamed of that --------

 

I just hope that us treating the staff well made up for it in some way and that the one memory we leave with staff when we come away is that we are people who treat them as real human beings.

 

Chunter over - next time perhaps we should step in like we would at work with rude children -----------------------

[NorthCarolinaBelle]

A pet peeve of mine is when a wait person will reply "No problem" when I ask for extra napkins, a refill, etc. Of course it's not a problem!!!! It's your job, not a favor you are doing me!!!!!

 

That's my pet peeve, as well!! I try to teach the children in my classes that the response to "Thank you" is "You're welcome!" or "It 's my pleasure!" spoken cheerfully and enthusiastically.

[Presto2]

That's my pet peeve, as well!! I try to teach the children in my classes that the response to "Thank you" is "You're welcome!" or "It 's my pleasure!" spoken cheerfully and enthusiastically.

 

I think it is a cultural thing ---- hubby and I always laugh at staff as they all say "Have a nice day" - it drive us nuts , but we recognise it as an American 'thing'. :) We think it is funny and tell one another that all the time now ;)

 

I have no problem with 'no problem' though --- :D

[Despegue]

A pet peeve of mine is when a wait person will reply "No problem" when I ask for extra napkins, a refill, etc. Of course it's not a problem!!!! It's your job, not a favor you are doing me!!!!!

 

 

I see NO PROBLEM in saying this.

It is a correct way of affirming the request.

[judie43]

:eek:

 

We must have come from the same family somewhere:D:):);)

 

I was raised to always say please and thank you, without question.

I think (just my opinion) it goes to back to how a person is brought

up....manners or no manners?

 

Talk about children being raised properly....our 2 year old grandson wanted a cookie and his Dad said " what do you say" He was so excited about the cookie he promptly said " please,thank you,your welcome " He gets a little confused but he is being taught how to be polite.

[Lois R]

Talk about children being raised properly....our 2 year old grandson wanted a cookie and his Dad said " what do you say" He was so excited about the cookie he promptly said " please,thank you,your welcome " He gets a little confused but he is being taught how to be polite.

 

Too funny:Din a good way:)

[Lady Chew]

Talk about children being raised properly....our 2 year old grandson wanted a cookie and his Dad said " what do you say" He was so excited about the cookie he promptly said " please,thank you,your welcome " He gets a little confused but he is being taught how to be polite.

 

My younger son was (is) very literal ... when he was very small, I once asked him for the magic word before giving him whatever-it-was-that-he-wanted, and he responded, "Mommy, the magic word is presto, the polite word is please"

[Presto2]

My younger son was (is) very literal ... when he was very small, I once asked him for the magic word before giving him whatever-it-was-that-he-wanted, and he responded, "Mommy, the magic word is presto, the polite word is please"

 

Thank you -- as us Presto2 folk we will now expect everything Presto :D:D:D

[parallax]

Having bused tables through college, I'm very appreciative of the wait staff and the demands of the position. As a result, I try to be warm and grateful as possible when being waited on. In addition, I believe in the golden rule that one should not piss off the person who is serving food.

 

My favorite rude passenger story was when we went on an Oceania cruise. We were pulling out of port and we were sitting at the bar over the bridge to take a look at the scenery. There were about 20 passengers in the bar when a group of 8 walked in. The wanted to sit together so the men started to move some chairs a couple feet so they could share in the view as we sailed off. A woman proclaimed to the man moving the chairs to stop what he was doing and have the staff do it because they were on vacation. She said it loud enough so the whole bar could hear. The waiter was in the process of serving drinks to our table of 4 and was going to get the drink orders of the table next to us (they came in beforehand). The waiter informed the group that he would be with them in a minute. The woman then went off on the waiter when he went to the next table instead of there group. She started yelling at him. When one of the men in the group started to move the chairs, she yelled at him. She told them it was the waitstaffs' responsibility. So for 3 minutes they were standing there. The waiter started back to towards the bar and let them know that he would be back in 30 seconds so he could drop off some dirty glasses. The woman then started cursing at the waiter. At this time, my father-in-law and I got up, went over and moved the chairs the 3 feet they need to go. We glared at the men and told the woman that we would appreciate if she would act as if she had some manners.

 

The bartender and the waiter later thanked us when the group left. In addition, we got a couple free rounds of drinks.

[johhnnyt]

It is so nice to hear everyone's remarks on manners. We have never come upon a crew member on any cruise who was anything less than courteous, friendly and helpful...and we (including my children) have always made a point in returning the same.

 

We have often been embarrassed by the behaviour of some guests on a cruiseship toward the crew. I know I'm generalizing but the worst behaviour we've seen is from older guests who seem to have sense of entitlement. Of course the majority of all passengers are wonderful but it certainly gives you a bad feeling when you witness someone treating a crewmember like an inferior being.

 

"Here here" for manners and respect whether on a cruise ship or anywhere else for that matter!

 

Was nice to see this thread. 90%+ of all cases I've seen it's the customer that shows no civility or manners to the person providing the service, and absolutely no reason for it except bad manners. Seen passengers at guest relations screaming because a tour wasn't what they expected, or the guy on the airplane thats indignant as he's forced to turn off his mobile phone so a flight can leave, and then is mad at the flight attendant for asking him to do so.

 

It does seem to be more amplified on cruise ships though then in general walk of life. People seem to demand more and for some reason think its deserved, and really get nasty when every whim in their head isn't met in an immediate way.

[KathyPet]

Venice, Ravenna, Split, Dubrovnik, Kotor, Valletta, Catania or Naples???

[boogs]

I see NO PROBLEM in saying this.

It is a correct way of affirming the request.

 

I have no problem with 'no problem' though --- :D

 

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

[3littlepigs]

3littlepigs,

 

I can assure you that not all B747 Captains are like that ;-)

But yep, some collegues of mine sadly have an attitude like you described. it is mostly a generational thing though, I find, at least in our Airline.:cool:

 

 

 

I am sure you are right!

 

I was particularly surprised at the chap's arrogance because his airline is from a country where we have a reputation for being easygoing...to the point of sometimes attracting criticism for our casual approach!

 

 

I don't have a problem with "No Problem" its just a fashionable comment adopted by that generation, they mean nothing by it, I find "have a nice day" more annoying!

[Karynanne]

Having bused tables through college, I'm very appreciative of the wait staff and the demands of the position. As a result, I try to be warm and grateful as possible when being waited on. In addition, I believe in the golden rule that one should not piss off the person who is serving food.

 

My favorite rude passenger story was when we went on an Oceania cruise. We were pulling out of port and we were sitting at the bar over the bridge to take a look at the scenery. There were about 20 passengers in the bar when a group of 8 walked in. The wanted to sit together so the men started to move some chairs a couple feet so they could share in the view as we sailed off. A woman proclaimed to the man moving the chairs to stop what he was doing and have the staff do it because they were on vacation. She said it loud enough so the whole bar could hear. The waiter was in the process of serving drinks to our table of 4 and was going to get the drink orders of the table next to us (they came in beforehand). The waiter informed the group that he would be with them in a minute. The woman then went off on the waiter when he went to the next table instead of there group. She started yelling at him. When one of the men in the group started to move the chairs, she yelled at him. She told them it was the waitstaffs' responsibility. So for 3 minutes they were standing there. The waiter started back to towards the bar and let them know that he would be back in 30 seconds so he could drop off some dirty glasses. The woman then started cursing at the waiter. At this time, my father-in-law and I got up, went over and moved the chairs the 3 feet they need to go. We glared at the men and told the woman that we would appreciate if she would act as if she had some manners.

 

The bartender and the waiter later thanked us when the group left. In addition, we got a couple free rounds of drinks.

 

It sounds like the rude passenger already had quite a jump-start on cocktails!

[Presto2]

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

 

Hi, looking at your review I think it is a cultural thing and basically "no problem" means the same thing to me as "you are welcome - it is ok" and is not meant as a rude comment. In the same way as "Have a nice day" is just the thing to say ! :confused:

 

To me "No problem" means "Ok, don't worry at all, I'll do that"

 

It is a minor issue when compared to really rude people who just need to be thrown over the side ---

[ORV]

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

 

I definitely see your point, but perhaps the wait person was originally from Jamaica. If that's the case then for them to say "no problem" would be the same as someone else saying "right away sir". Training could help this but lifelong habits are hard to break. Then again perhaps their supervisors see the use of it as no problem.

[boogs]

Hi, looking at your review I think it is a cultural thing and basically "no problem" means the same thing to me as "you are welcome - it is ok" and is not meant as a rude comment. In the same way as "Have a nice day" is just the thing to say ! :confused:

 

To me "No problem" means "Ok, don't worry at all, I'll do that"

 

It is a minor issue when compared to really rude people who just need to be thrown over the side ---

 

I very much agree with your last sentence. ;)

 

If they were truly from Jamaica they'd say "No Problem, mon". :D

[Can'tstopcruising]

No problem, pas de problem, no problemo are popular answers today and are meant in the right spirit. So is Have a good/great day. One of the supermarket guys who does car orders always says "have a good one". It's nice. On the other hand, Unhuh, to me smacks of negativity.

 

Lady Chew, I used to do the Magic word thing!

 

My 20 month old grandson is being taught to say Thank you and Merci. In his little voice, it is so cute! (Proud Bubbie, here!)

[jackdiamond]

I hve no concern with "no problem" or "have a nice day"; but, then I do not sweat the small stuff. And, folks, by and large, most of it is small stuff.

[babyher]

When my DS was in high school, he worked at a fancy Gourmet grocery store /deli in a very upscale area nearby.

 

He dealt with his share of high handed entitled customers who thought every whim must be catered to that second.

 

When he started there he was unaware of "THE TWO MRS "SMITHS" who were regular customers

 

 

One was the first wife of a very well known and wealthy CEO of a very very very large company . The other the second and current vwife of said CEO.

 

As miserable and nasty and demanding as the first one was. The second was very nice and known to tip a $20 dollar bill to one of the stockboys just for carrying a small bag of groceries to her car. She was also a lot younger

 

My son had only dealt with the 2nd "Mrs Smith" and thought she was really sweet and of course made sure he was around when she had bags in her hand :)

 

The day came when DS got to deal with the 1st Mrs Smith, which he didn't know who she was.

 

As rude as she was , my son was as polite and helpful as could be. Becasue he was new he didn't know where everything was or if they stocked everything she asked for , but he asked his manager or others for help in assisting her.

 

Well i guess this was taking too long for Princess Grace and she started getting loud.

 

Well it didn't take long for her to demand to see a manager and asnnounce to the store who she was and how long she has been a customer here and how much she spends here .

 

When all is said and done, my son apoligized for taking so long and that he was new and still learning . Like this woman cared .

 

When he heard what her last name was and put 2 and 2 together (or so he thought) He thought he would try to be nice and said "I really am sorry maam, Your daughter comes in here all the time and she is very nice "

*LOL*

 

That shut her up and got her out of there quick. *LOL*

[Hlitner]

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

 

Me thinks (good grammar) you are being hypecritical. Keep in mind that many of the staff on cruise ships are not using their native langauge when they speak to you and may not be well versed in all the subtilties of English. And you also might not be aware that the term "no problem" or "no problem man" is quite common in many places where they speak English. A good friend of mine (fellow world traveler) likes to say that when folks decide to apply their home cultural and language standards to other places. perhaps they would be better off just staying home.

 

Hank

[richstowe]

Long ago I was a counselor at a summer sleep away camp. As it was my first summer, I was shared by two cabins.

Therefore I had 20 campers. Most were good kids, a few were fantastic and 3 or 4 were brats.

Visiting day came and it was quickly apparent who belonged to who. The parents of the true pleasures could not have been nicer.

So sweet and very polite. Just wonderful folks, both parents and kids.

 

Then there were the parents of the nightmares. They were uniformly rude, nasty and entitled.

I learned a lesson that summer namely that even thou bad behavior in children is not to be excused,

it can often be explained. Those kids never learned to ask nicely.

A pet peeve of mine is when a wait person will reply "No problem" when I ask for extra napkins, a refill, etc. Of course it's not a problem!!!! It's your job, not a favor you are doing me!!!!!

I better watch myself because I have often said this.:o

Never thought it would give offense.

[Lois R]

Long ago I was a counselor at a summer sleep away camp. As it was my first summer, I was shared by two cabins.

Therefore I had 20 campers. Most were good kids, a few were fantastic and 3 or 4 were brats.

Visiting day came and it was quickly apparent who belonged to who. The parents of the true pleasures could not have been nicer.

So sweet and very polite. Just wonderful folks, both parents and kids.

 

Then there were the parents of the nightmares. They were uniformly rude, nasty and entitled.

I learned a lesson that summer namely that even thou bad behavior in children is not to be excused,

it can often be explained. Those kids never learned to ask nicely.I better watch myself because I have often said this.:o

Never thought it would give offense.

 

You are not alone....I use the term quite often and it is never meant

with anything bad behind it. There is no malice and no offense meant

when I use it either:eek::rolleyes:. No problem:D

[SantaFeFan]

You are not alone....I use the term quite often and it is never meant

with anything bad behind it. There is no malice and no offense meant

when I use it either:eek::rolleyes:. No problem:D

 

I better watch myself because I have often said this.:o

Never thought it would give offense.

 

Perhaps it is a generational thing. Swsfrail is, as she has humorously admitted on other threads, of an older generation (she once described herself as "older than dirt") who may not be as comfortable with the casualness that some wait staff exhibit, whether it is management that dictates it, or is their own personality. I myself can't get used to some restaurants where the wait person sits down at the table with me to take my order as if they are a personal friend instead of one of the wait staff serving me. Some people may like this, but I prefer a bit more of a formal approach. But that is just me, I guess. I am there to enjoy a meal, not make a new friend. So please, stand next to the table to take my order and treat me as if you value my business instead of trying to act like an old friend, and I will return the respect equally.

[3littlepigs]

In this part of the world you will often hear "no worries" or "no worries mate" it means please don't worry about it, I'll fix it. Like an earlier poster said, the tone in which its delivered is the giveaway rather than the words.