Formal night with a mentally handicapped person who will not wear formal clothing?

[Vexorg]

Me and some friends are going on an Alaska cruise in a couple of weeks, and one of the people who will be traveling with us has a mental handicap (I don't know all the details for sure, but based on what has been described to me it sounds like he is a high-functioning autistic.) One of the aspects that comes with this is that he is very particular about what clothing he wears, and I have been told that is very unlikely that we will be able to get him to wear any sort of formal attire, which means that formal night is going to be a problem. My concern is that he is going to try to go to the dining room on formal night while not properly dressed for it, and there are going to be problems when they don't let him in.

 

Given these circumstances, what would you recommend? Personally, I think it would be a good night to do a specialty restaurant but most of the party doesn't like the cuisine offered, and that gets expensive for a party of 6. My thinking is that we may have to explain the situation to the Maitre'D in advance and see how they would handle it.

[lrockwitt]

I d

 

 

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[PurpleHays]

Let him wear what he wants. As long as it's not dirty and full of holes, he's fine.

 

At least, that's my opinion.

[lrockwitt]

I do not dress up for forma night and neither does my husband. Should not be a problem. We never had one. My husband wears black jeans and a shirt.

 

 

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[Widebay]

Let the person wear what they want? - don't force the handicap person to wear what he or she doesn't want to wear. Formal nights are NOT that important - the happiness & enjoyment of the handicap persons IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT.

[waltd]

just my opinion but if the disability is noticeable I seriously doubt any one will say a thing. If the rest of you are dressed up I think everyone will understand.

[Luvmyrotti]

Perhaps the horizon court might be the best option.

[Thrak]

just my opinion but if the disability is noticeable I seriously doubt any one will say a thing. If the rest of you are dressed up I think everyone will understand.

 

Autism isn't always visibly noticeable in the way some other disabilities are. I would definitely speak with the maitre d' hotel. Of course you could always all try collaborating at promoting dinner in the buffet or a pizza and burger dinner on Lido deck.

 

Ultimately I would think that only those who are intimately familiar with the person in question can really tell you how to handle this issue or if it will even be an issue.

[ar1950]

I would definitely talk to the maitre d' about the situation. The way formal nights are being handled on many ships these days it may be no problem at all.

[Jimmy deluxe]

I would contact Princess directly about any special needs, whether they are sensory, dietary, etc. I have traveled with a young person on the spectrum, also high functioning.

 

The good news being high functioning he will usually be more than happy to tell you what he wants, as long as you have prepared him with many of the possibilities and choices.

 

The gentleman traveling with us has many days that clothing is an issue, when we explained all of our options he chose to wear a black pinstripe suit to formal night. Which then became quite the source of pride and made it possible over the next couple years to make formal wear less of an issue.

 

This is just my experience. I hope it helps

I'm sure whatever choice he makes you will all have a great time.

Good luck

Jim

[Coral]

Alaska is less formal than other cruises. On one specific cruise, I remember being at a table with some new cruisers. Two of the guys had forgotten that it was formal night and they let them in with no problems. It wasn't until half way through the meal it dawned on them.

 

I would ask whoever is close with him if you can get him to wear something black, he will blend in better and I don't think it will be an issue. Black jeans/pants and a black button up shirt or something similar.

 

Honestly, I don't think it will be an issue as cruising is becoming less formal and Alaska is definitely less formal compared to other destinations.

 

Speaking with the head waiter ahead of time is a good idea also.

 

I wouldn't fret about this.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Coral

[ReneeFLL]

I love to dress up on formal night and love to look at all the pretty dresses/clothes, but that is just me. That being said I have seen many others not dressed up. No big deal. If he is dresses decent then I wouldn't worry about it, just enjoy the evening.

[Arlened236]

My family group of 25 just returned 3 weeks ago from our Alaskan cruise on the Golden Princess..there was a mix of dress in the dining room from formal to nice jeans and a button down white shirt ( no tie or jacket). No one said anything .

My husband wore dress pants, white shirt and tie ( that's as dressed up as he wanted to get,

Your friend will be fine, Alaska is much less formal especially with all the children on board.

It is a wonderful cruise enjoy

Arlene

[Potstech]

Do not talk to anyone. Have the person dress nicely and go to the Main Dining Room. No need to shuffle a handicap person to an alternate dining area. I only wear nice pants, long sleeve shirt and tie on Formal nights in the MDR and have never been turned away. Let them be comfortable and enjoy the night like everyone else.

[caribill]

Do not talk to anyone. Have the person dress nicely and go to the Main Dining Room. No need to shuffle a handicap person to an alternate dining area. Let them be comfortable and enjoy the night like everyone else.

 

100% agree.

[MsSoCalCruiser]

I would speak to the maître d' when you board. I hope you all go to formal night and I hope you all have a wonderful night. I think people need to worry about themselves and not what other people are wearing. Have a great time and enjoy your cruise.

[Lovetocruiseprincess]

It would be a real shame if he couldn't experience it not dressed up since there will be other not dressing either.

[Alaskanb]

Don't worry about it -- what are the other men in your group wearing? Ask him what he plans to wear.

DH wears a long sleeve white or grey dress shirt, black pants, and a tie.

Edited August 27, 2014 by Alaskanb

[sunsetbeachgal]

The only time I have seen anyone be turned away from dinner in the main dining room on a Princess ship was adult men wearing shorts. Other than that, which may have even changed as we went to Alaska on Princess a number of years ago, I would assume he would be safe.

[pablo222]

Me and some friends are going on an Alaska cruise in a couple of weeks, and one of the people who will be traveling with us has a mental handicap (I don't know all the details for sure, but based on what has been described to me it sounds like he is a high-functioning autistic.) One of the aspects that comes with this is that he is very particular about what clothing he wears, and I have been told that is very unlikely that we will be able to get him to wear any sort of formal attire

 

If one is wearing a minimum of long pants, and a long sleeve shirt,

there will be no issue entering the dining room.

 

If your friend is young -- perhaps under 15 -- the rules are very

relaxed.

 

Otherwise, I would simply speak with the headwaiter at the door

the day before, and I am sure you will have no problem.

[5:00_Somewhere]

I agree with most of what others have said here. We have traveled - including on a Princess cruise - with our young adult nephew who has a mental disability, some of the attributes of which are similar to those on the autism spectrum. I think you and your group will be find in the MDRs on formal night, especially if the gentleman is willing to wear a collared shirt and long pants. We often see men dressed this way in the MDRs on formal nights on pretty much all cruises these days. And, as others here have said (though some may disagree), our experience has been that the dress code is somewhat more lax on Alaskan cruises.

 

Finally, the only reason I might suggest talking with the Maitre d' or Head Waiter of the particular MDR in advance of formal night would be to put everyone's minds at ease. I don't necessarily think it would be "necessary", but having that confirmed in advance would likely make you all feel a bit less stressed. And who needs stress on a cruise? ;)

 

I hope you have a wonderful cruise. I know our family did. :)

[PunkiC]

Do you have fixed dining or anytime dining?

 

If you have fixed dining, the staff will already understand the situation. If you have anytime dining, just see if he will wear something dark and explain the situation to the maitre 'd. It won't be a problem.

[Dreamer333]

Try going to Autism on the seas website. They have some downloadable cards and info which you can hand to personnel onboard and easy read downloadable guides for ID passengers. We used them when travelling with our adult ID daughter and there will not be an issue with Princess.

 

This is great advice!

[Cruisin' Chick]

Autism isn't always visibly noticeable in the way some other disabilities are. I would definitely speak with the maitre d' hotel. Of course you could always all try collaborating at promoting dinner in the buffet or a pizza and burger dinner on Lido deck.

 

Ultimately I would think that only those who are intimately familiar with the person in question can really tell you how to handle this issue or if it will even be an issue.

 

Try going to Autism on the seas website. They have some downloadable cards and info which you can hand to personnel onboard and easy read downloadable guides for ID passengers. We used them when travelling with our adult ID daughter and there will not be an issue with Princess.

Inform them at the reception desk once boarded and also hand one of the cards to the MD - you will find that they will easily be able to accommodate your needs. Cruising is ideal with Autism as the daily routine is the same- just the port is different . The formal night is generally a few days in to the cruise so the routine will be familiar in the main dining room and changing to a speciality restaurant may be more distressing .

You can also request a weeks worth if menus in advance once onboard to minimise anxiety by having to make choices quickly and in public.

Hope it all goes well for you .

 

 

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Definitely let the person who best knows the autistic person find out if a formal night is even desired. If so, he or she can talk with the maitre'd aheqd of time to get reassurances. I would think the maitre'd would appreciate this consideration for him as well as the autistic person, and may even say for the party to ask for him personally when arriving.

But if the person wants to go to the buffet for his comfort sake, then best to consider his wishes. Not a biggie to miss formal night if he doesn't want to go.

[ceilie1]

Do not talk to anyone. Have the person dress nicely and go to the Main Dining Room. No need to shuffle a handicap person to an alternate dining area. I only wear nice pants, long sleeve shirt and tie on Formal nights in the MDR and have never been turned away. Let them be comfortable and enjoy the night like everyone else.

I totally agree!