What do you like and/or dislike about sharing a table with strangers?

[bUU]

I think I can try to outline a couple of reasons why it's sometimes a problem.

 

It sometimes reflects a lack of respect for the people that they're dining with. If you roll back up to my earlier comment you see that the blessing I suggested was inclusive. It would resonate with even an atheist. That is an expression of respect for the fact that the people around me don't necessarily believe the same way I do and therefore it is incumbent upon me, as I impose my ritual on them, to make it relevant to them, whoever they may be. Imposing what is essentially a prayer on the entire table that is only relevant to one's self is effectively the same as talking about yourself and about a part of yourself that nobody else is interested in.

 

Another part of the problem is that there is a pretty widely understood rule against discussing religion or politics in the company of folks you just met. There is nothing more religious than a prayer that ties back to a single religion. So it violates the standard right at the outset and therefore sets of very bad precedent for the entire meal. A good rule of thumb is anything you say should be appropriate for discussion at the table. If you are voicing a prayer that is unique to your religion, do you really want your religion to be considered in the context of a back and forth, give and take discussion over the dinner table on a cruise ship?

 

 

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[rayness]

I'm mainly a solo cruiser and my upcoming cruise I might eat with the solo group for a couple of nights but won't be able to every single night. I love ATD because I can ask for a 2 top and eat alone. I'm an introvert and have an extrovert job (working on changing this). I like to travel solo so I don't have to be involved in the small talk, politics and religious conversations. I bring my iPad or book and enjoy my meal in silence.

 

 

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[Nurse 3D]

I understand your discomfort, but what about the folks who fervently believe they need to bless before eating? Would you deny them that? Sorry, just cannot let this go unsaid.

It seems this discussion is all over the place. Bottom line, to each his/her own, and please don't judge or impose on others. If you simply cannot stand being with others, or if it makes you uncomfortable, eat by yourself, as others have stated. We're not in that camp, but that is our choice.

How about those of us who silently pray before eating? My faith is a private thing and I try to respect your beliefs or non. But don't assume that you know me based on my skin colour or nationality. You might be surprised.

 

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[herbanrenewal]

I would have welcomed a group prayer . Why does this bother you so much? I do not think it should. You can just bow your head in a minute of quiet reflection if your believe differently.

 

Surely you realize when you expect a stranger to participate in your religious expression you are violating his freedom of religion? I have no objection to a tablemate praying in any form they desire but I would not expect to

participate by bowing my head during your prayer. I also can recognize that others may feel uncomfortable and not want to share a table with others whose religious practices made them uncomfortabe.

 

Different folks praise their lord in different ways and are not ashamed or distracted by giving the lord thanks.

I have experienced this by attending other churches then my own Greek Orthodox church. I once attended a non denominational church where everyone sang and openly paraised the lord.

 

 

There is a difference between your visiting a religious service of another faith or denomination - you are voluntarily entering a place with expectations of participating in that service - and sharing a dinner in an environment that does not have a religious culture.

 

It was different but when in Rome do as the Romans. And i am sure this is their daily way of moving on with the day in thanks why should they change their routine. It is their vacation too.:halo:

I would never object to anyone praying in any way they prefer. But I think expecting ANY particular response from others at the table is not honoring the beliefs of the others at your table.

[Guest Nellsmom58]

How about those of us who silently pray before eating? My faith is a private thing and I try to respect your beliefs or non. But don't assume that you know me based on my skin colour or nationality. You might be surprised.

 

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You misunderstood my message, apparently. I advocate allowing others to pray or not, and silent prayer is amongst that. In fact, that is what we do. But I don't think it is so awful to participate in another's culture or belief ritual because that is WHY we cruise, to participate in the world and not isolate ourselves from other experiences. To each his or her own, and sitting alone is best for some who feel imposed by others yet don't want to say anything or put up with it.

[slidergirl]

I do not like the "praying in public" at a table, regardless if those ask or don't ask the others at the table to join. It is a bold assumption that the others are Christian. What if those people were of another religion - Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist (and, no, you can't tell someone's religion by looking at them). What if you did ask about a public prayer and one of those guests replied "allow me" and they chose a prayer of their religion? What if they replied "I am <insert religion or athiest/agnostic> and I do not feel this is appropriate" ?

 

One's religion (or lack of belief) is highly personal. In public settings, I still believe it should be kept silent and private. Your prayer is heard, regardless - it is the intent, not the method, that is important. As a Protestant, I would never think of asking strangers at a dinner table to sit and listen to me pray over a meal.

 

As for the "Blue Bloods" praying at dinner on TV as an example to prove praying at a table is OK: The family is in their own home, not in public. AND IT'S A TV SHOW...

 

Perhaps a cruise line should start asking about a guest's religion to use as a criteria for who sits with who - it would cut down on the "saying grace" issue as well as maybe cut down on those "conversations" that erupt about religion.

[pseudoware]

Am I the bad guy if I reach for the bread or sip my wine while four strangers at the table are joining hands and chanting?

 

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[bUU]

But I don't think it is so awful to participate in another's culture or belief ritual because that is WHY we cruise, to participate in the world and not isolate ourselves from other experiences.

That's a stretch imho. I don't eat meat, pork or poultry due to my beliefs regarding the ethical treatment of animals: Does that obligate everyone seated with me for dinner to order the vegetarian entree even if they wanted something else? The cruelty endured by the pig from which came the pork chop is at least as impactful to me as a person of conscience than the skipping a blessing of a meal would be to someone who is of that persuasion.

 

I respect that my dinnermates may not share my perspective on the ethical treatment of animals, and may instead just care about having a good pork chop or steak or whatever, and so I don't expect them to abide my religious practices just because we're seated together.

[Guest Nellsmom58]

Good grief...

Edited July 9, 2017 by Nellsmom58

[iancal]

We have no issue with someone saying Grace quietly to themselves. The vast majority of our fellow tablemates that said Grace did it in this manner.

 

The ones we object to are the demonstrative ones who seem to want to make it a group affair without regard to the belief or practices of others seated at the table.

[Guest Nellsmom58]

Am I the bad guy if I reach for the bread or sip my wine while four strangers at the table are joining hands and chanting?

 

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Nope!

[cadien]

I'm surprised to see two different posters assert that the non religious should 'just' clasp their hands and bow their heads. There is nothing neutral about that.

[Laurie S.]

I'm surprised to see two different posters assert that the non religious should 'just' clasp their hands and bow their heads. There is nothing neutral about that.

 

Agreed. And it is something that I never would do.

[teknoge3k]

I'm surprised to see two different posters assert that the non religious should 'just' clasp their hands and bow their heads. There is nothing neutral about that.

 

Thank you. Glad someone "gets it". For those of us who aren't religious, that still is a very awkward thing to do and makes for an uncomfortable moment, even if just for a minute or 2.

[navybankerteacher]

Expression of faith (any faith) is best kept as a private matter. Any deity worth praying to can hear your silent prayer - even if just contemplated -without clasped hands. While I believe such a diety is, I have no more right to publicly proclaim it than does a confirmed atheist have a right to proclaim out loud his non-belief at the start of every meal.

[slidergirl]

Expression of faith (any faith) is best kept as a private matter. Any deity worth praying to can hear your silent prayer - even if just contemplated -without clasped hands. While I believe such a diety is, I have no more right to publicly proclaim it than does a confirmed atheist have a right to proclaim out loud his non-belief at the start of every meal.

 

Where is the flying pig??? We agree on something ;)

 

I had an intimate encounter with a radical evangelical church through family (look up "Toronto Blessing"). So, I know both ends of the "public display" needs of some at the expense of others.

[vms]

I've done both fixed and anytime dining. While several times during anytime dining I have found someone whose company I enjoy and we have made plans to meet up and dine together, there have been times that hasn't happened. The thing I dislike about anytime dining is having the same conversation over and over again each night- where are you from? what do you do? are you married? do you have kids/grandkids? Eating with the same group each night has turned the conversation from feeling like I'm in Groundhog Day to something more pleasant where the discussion can carry over from night to night.

 

While I always ask not to sit with others during breakfast in the MDR as a solo cruiser because I would prefer to read and wake up slowly, the tables are usually so close together that others want to chat. Usually they're dissuaded with a polite- I'm working on finishing this book- but occasionally they don't take the hint, which is frustrating. But I generally prefer it over the chaos of the buffet.

[CruiseGal999]

Some folks may feel more comfortable with something a bit less irreverent. :) Here's one within which I think most folks can see value: "May we be truly thankful for the earth and sea and sky and fire from which we are about to enjoy such a bountiful harvest."

 

I agree that was irreverent. But also, when I was a child, had an older brother that spouted: Rub A Dub Dub, Thanks for the Grub, Yeah, God. Or something like it. I may not have gotten it quite right. Although, we did not say grace before any meals .... I mean real grace.

[CruiseGal999]

Thanks for posting Matthew 6:5-6. I put the following challenge, though, to those who dread being asked if it would be okay ... Be ready to respond, "As a matter of fact, please allow me to lead the blessing." Tell me that you have, on such a most wonderful occasion, no words of gratitude for the meal you're about to eat, for the people who prepared it, for those who grew it and transported it to the shop, etc.? These other passengers are offering to share a ritual of their spiritual life with you, as well as the meal: You should see it as an opportunity to share with them your spiritual perspective.

 

 

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I think this is a great idea. I have to admit though, when friends come over and ask us to say grace, I am tongue tied. I can't think of what to say. So I ask them to say grace.

[iancal]

We have absolutely no desire to share our spiritual perspective with others at the table.

 

Nor are we the least bit interested in sharing the spiritual perspectives of others at the table.

 

We view this as a very private matter. We see no need whatsoever to be demonstrative...not trying to prove anything. We would rather just move forward with dinner and conversation.

[the mistral wind]

It was different but when in Rome do as the Romans. And i am sure this is their daily way of moving on with the day in thanks why should they change their routine. It is their vacation too.:halo:

I would never object to anyone praying in any way they prefer. But I think expecting ANY particular response from others at the table is not honoring the beliefs of the others at your table.

well i guess we agree then the last paragraph is what i believe also.:)

[the mistral wind]

Am I the bad guy if I reach for the bread or sip my wine while four strangers at the table are joining hands and chanting?

 

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No i think these people were only making a short prayer of thanks. Many people do this every meal. And i do not think they mind at all if you didn't join in.:halo:

[NoWhiners]

Am I the bad guy if I reach for the bread or sip my wine while four strangers at the table are joining hands and chanting?

 

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We'll share a table with you :)

[smakcanada]

Expression of faith (any faith) is best kept as a private matter. Any deity worth praying to can hear your silent prayer - even if just contemplated -without clasped hands. While I believe such a diety is, I have no more right to publicly proclaim it than does a confirmed atheist have a right to proclaim out loud his non-belief at the start of every meal.

Amen!

 

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[Xray12280]

I prefer a table for 2. Mostly because I have trouble hearing people at a larger table. It is too loud with all the background noise and I hate to repeatedly say "what". I've also had the misfortune to be seated with someone who was hateful and said rude things about a couple when they left dinner.

 

 

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